View Full Version : I just want to sleep

06-29-09, 11:47 AM
I've had issues with my sleep for years and years; apparently my parents were told to put me out in the garage at night in my playpen thing so they could get some sleep when I was a baby...

I go through phases, sometimes I sleep fine but it's the actual process of getting to sleep that's my problem, other times it's constant wakening, or waking after 3-4 hours and not being able to get back to sleep and end up grumpy all the time, or wierdly enough I can occasionally go through a week or so of getting too much sleep, like 14-18 hours uninterrupted. Completely bizarre.

None of these things is good though, I'm still taking Melatonin to help me sleep, but my GP has had me on sedatives, tranquilisers, beta-blockers, anti-psychotics (for their tranquilising effect), and extra doses of Methylphenidate before bed (I've had more success with that than any other), but I'm getting to the point where I'm sick of not sleeping.

I hate 'going to bed', I glance through into my bedroom and feel disgust at the notion of lying in my bed for hours and hours, awake, staring at the ceiling, or restlessly shifting about in bed.
Sometimes I read, but there's still so much going on inside my head.
Recently I've been plagued with horrible thoughts and flashbacks to traumatic incidents throughout my life which make my heart race, and my mood shift into a dark one. I used to get up and go for a walk, but after my last little brush with the local constabulary I've decided it's probably best not to go outside in the middle of the night acting 'strangely'.

I get up and put on the TV, watch a DVD or some boring early morning hours broadcast and fall asleep watching that, at least that way I can trick my brain in to thinking about that and not the bad stuff that it previously dredged up.
More often than not though, I find myself awake hours later, craving sleep but not able to settle into it, also I find myself angry or upset with the thoughts that are being re-run inside my head.
It's ridiculous. I've tried exhausting myself before bedtime, I've tried relaxing, I've tried herbal conconctions, I've tried all manner of medications, and I'm sick and tired, I feel trapped by this problem.

I just want to sleep.


06-29-09, 02:13 PM
Ugh I feel you on that. So far the two things that worked were the stimulant dose before bed and guanfacine. Ask your doc about guanfacine- it's actually really helping. Problem is you have to wait a few weeks for the overall sedation to go away. But when it does, you'll still be sleeping much better.

06-29-09, 02:39 PM
I know just what you mean. I got about 20 minutes of sleep last night. I 'went to bed' at 11:00 PM and fell asleep around 6:30 am.

It actually hasn't happened to me for a while, as the medication I take for it now(mirtazapine) is really effective and has continued to work for a long time(which is a first for me), but I was so tired yesterday I thought I'd take a break from it and just take melatonin instead. When I realized my mistake, it was too late to take the medication without it keeping me asleep well into the morning.

I usually like going to bed and reading, but my whole perspective shifts when I realize I'm going to have trouble sleeping. I hate being in bed thinking about how tired I'm going to be if I don't fall asleep, not being able to, and watching the minutes pass on the clock. And of course, the longer it goes on, the more anxious and/or angry I get, and the harder it gets to fall asleep. When I try to relax and not think about sleeping, I inevitably find my mind drawn to unpleasant topics and experiences, each replaced by another when I make myself stop thinking about it.

I also have this problem somewhat randomly. Sometimes I don't take any sleeping medication or supplement, and fall asleep fine. Other times I can't sleep even after having been up all night the previous night, and taking a sleeping pill(although this is far less common with my current medication).

06-30-09, 01:31 PM
I went to bed at 23:30 last night, woke up at 02:50. Stayed awake for five hours until about 08:00 ish, fell back asleep until 10:00. Spent today wandering around in the park with the Dog. Quite irritable, I've not exercised yet so perhaps I'll feel better after that.

I feel tired, but I'm not able to allow myself to fall asleep in the middle of the day. I'm trying to establish a 'normal' sleep pattern.


06-30-09, 01:37 PM
I feel tired, but I'm not able to allow myself to fall asleep in the middle of the day. I'm trying to establish a 'normal' sleep pattern.

That's one of the most frustrating things after a night of insomnia. I feel like sleeping at various points throughout the day, and am far less productive than I am with sleep, but if I do sleep during the day, I know I won't sleep at night, and the cycle starts over. Unfortunately, when its finally an appropriate time to sleep, I often find I'm wide awake. Even after getting less than an hour of sleep the night before last, I still took long enough falling asleep last night that I'm sleep deprived today.

06-30-09, 02:31 PM
Yuck. I can relate somewhat, though. I have an inability to go to sleep or even go to bed at any consistancy. The Adderall I've just started doesn't help much (get in bed at 2 or 3 am and get up at 6am...). I hope you can find a way around your problem!

Does exercise always help or does it sometimes make it worse? When I overdo or have a really good day of running, it can cause me to loathe laying down or I lie awake reliving that day or whatever...

06-30-09, 03:10 PM
Does exercise always help or does it sometimes make it worse? When I overdo or have a really good day of running, it can cause me to loathe laying down or I lie awake reliving that day or whatever...

I find it helps, I can't recall a time when it's made things worse.
I'm doing a lot of 'IronMan' type stuff at the minute; 50% of my 1RPM for 25-50 reps of 5-8 sets, etc... definite burn, noticable fatigue.
I don't always remember to take my suppliments if I'm exercising spontaneously, which sometimes annoys me, I don't like falling out of sorts with my supps : ) Planning on doing some cardio tonight though, since I've really cut back on the cardio recently to focus on the strength/endurance work instead.


06-30-09, 05:39 PM
Logic, forgive me if you've already answered this question somewhere else, but have you ever had a sleep assessment done? Sleep apnea is very common.

06-30-09, 06:22 PM
No never had a sleep assessment, although I'm pretty sure I dont suffer from any sort of apnea. I don't snore either (unless I'm really, really, really, drunk - but that's rare).

I was monitored throughout the night when I was in hospital a few weeks ago, but that was because they filled me full of Lorazepam for being 'agitated' - ha! I'm always agitated, anyway they didn't say anything occurred overnight.