Hoshi
07-03-09, 10:52 AM
Today I went for my 2nd appt with my pdoc. I was taking Adderall 20mg IR 2x a day, and sometimes I crashed hard and felt bad.
So I asked to try dex. And I believe she now thinks I'm a druggie. She suddenly started rifling through notes and looking in my chart and all. Then asked where I heard about it "being better"... I tried to explain that I didn't mean it was better, but that it MIGHT work better for me (and is cheaper), key word being MIGHT.
She started getting me to sign release forms for every person who had anything to do with treating me for ADD...which is fine... but her demenor went suspicious. I'm kinda scared now. :( I don't want to be labled a druggie OR lose my meds. It doesn't help that I talk REALLY fast (always have!) and can't slow down. I know it sounds like I'm a speedfreak when I talk that way, but I can't slow it down...
In the end, she gave me Adderall 10mg 3x daily and said the dose may be too high, hence the crash. Which, heck, maybe it is. 15mg didn't do well for me, though.
My worry is that I gave her the impression that I'm drug seeking. I'm really terrified, because I've never used illegal drugs or took meds that weren't prescribed to me. What if I get labeled a drug seeker and have no meds when school starts back? She started to mention XR, then I told her that it made me really ill, she just said "But it's the same medicine..." and got more suspicious. I'm terrified.
What should I do?!?! :(
As for the XR thing, I can even show her the leftovers (half a months worth!) I have from months ago when it was prescribed to me. Hell, if she wants, I could take one and come in so she could see what it does to me. It makes my heart rate go wild and, even worse, it makes me super short of breath. My roomie wanted me to go to the ER twice when I was taking it because all I did was lie in his bed (he was on his computer and I was kinda too worried to stay in a room by myself) for 10hrs, gasping for air... I was so tired from the breathing that sometimes it felt like I couldn't keep on....but I couldn't sleep. It sucked so much. Should I show her? Would it help my credibility, or seem like I'm trying too much? Bah, I don't know what to dooo!
So I asked to try dex. And I believe she now thinks I'm a druggie. She suddenly started rifling through notes and looking in my chart and all. Then asked where I heard about it "being better"... I tried to explain that I didn't mean it was better, but that it MIGHT work better for me (and is cheaper), key word being MIGHT.
She started getting me to sign release forms for every person who had anything to do with treating me for ADD...which is fine... but her demenor went suspicious. I'm kinda scared now. :( I don't want to be labled a druggie OR lose my meds. It doesn't help that I talk REALLY fast (always have!) and can't slow down. I know it sounds like I'm a speedfreak when I talk that way, but I can't slow it down...
In the end, she gave me Adderall 10mg 3x daily and said the dose may be too high, hence the crash. Which, heck, maybe it is. 15mg didn't do well for me, though.
My worry is that I gave her the impression that I'm drug seeking. I'm really terrified, because I've never used illegal drugs or took meds that weren't prescribed to me. What if I get labeled a drug seeker and have no meds when school starts back? She started to mention XR, then I told her that it made me really ill, she just said "But it's the same medicine..." and got more suspicious. I'm terrified.
What should I do?!?! :(
As for the XR thing, I can even show her the leftovers (half a months worth!) I have from months ago when it was prescribed to me. Hell, if she wants, I could take one and come in so she could see what it does to me. It makes my heart rate go wild and, even worse, it makes me super short of breath. My roomie wanted me to go to the ER twice when I was taking it because all I did was lie in his bed (he was on his computer and I was kinda too worried to stay in a room by myself) for 10hrs, gasping for air... I was so tired from the breathing that sometimes it felt like I couldn't keep on....but I couldn't sleep. It sucked so much. Should I show her? Would it help my credibility, or seem like I'm trying too much? Bah, I don't know what to dooo!