I am new to the forum and not sure if this is the right place to ask this but I am frustrated with my daughters school. They say that they havent handled ADHD before and are not supportive. Does anyone have any ideas or comments that may help!!
Thanks

They've NEVER handled AD/HD before?? Right. They just refuse to recognize it because it's too much paperwork. My kids, when we first moved here, went to a school like that--they acted like they'd never seen anything like that, and they had no idea what to do, since it was obviously the result of bad parenting, etc.

We were able to move the little nippers to another school in the nearby district where my wife teaches, and they did fine. Now they are back in the old district, but in different, more enlightened schools. That, and the use of Adderall, has made all the difference.

As for your case, the school is legally obligated to educate your daughter. I would gather a ton of materials on what ADD is, how to teach kids with ADD, what schools need to do, etc. and make an appointment with the counselor and principal and lay it on the line. It is possible that they really don't have a clue what to do, and it becomes your job to educate them.

Confrontation may not foster postitive results. I tend to catch more bees with honey than with vinigar.
Just my 2 cents.. Ian.

I didn't mean to imply confrontation was the best approach. It can be done without storming in there and picking a fight. But it's your kid (or Daisy's) and you need to not be buffaloed by a school system that doesn't want to be bothered. With the school on your side, you have a kid that's a potential winner. If not, you have a potential dropout. It's worth stepping on a toe or two, if that's what it takes. Besides, if the school counselor is any good at all, he/she will support you.

Oops .. and I didn't mean to imply you had condoned confrontation. I'm sorry if it came off that way. I'm just tired of hearing so much negative about schools and teachers. I surely don't want their job. A seemingly thankless job.

A negative confrontational style is my default setting or has been in the past. I'm now finding that it's so much more useful to be positive even in the face of ignorance and neglect. Being positive seems to be a guiding principle that is helping me along on a much better path these days.

Having a positive approach needn't leave one "buffaloed" < g >

I find people all too willing to fight and that tends to get a defensive or even aggresive posture in return.

Cheers! Ian.

I totally understand what you mean about the confrontation......it is alot easier to get mad and handle it in a negative way but that isnt going to help me or my daughter!!! I am trying to help the school understand all of this, I have printed off numerous papers about how schools handle ADHD and things to do in a classroom. I do have a meeting set up for next Tuesday to sit down with administration and some teachers to discuss this. The problem is that this years teacher is on her last year of teaching and is not open-minded! I think next years teacher will be easier to get along with. My only negative thought on the school is that regardless if they WANT to deal with it...........it WILL be dealt with in a matter that benefits and helps my daughter!!!
Thanks for all the great advice

That sounds very much like my nephew's school...very apathetic, doesn't seem to care about the welfare of the child. Not just that, but the schools in my neck of the woods tend to lump children together -- "bad" children get quarantined from classes, which means they don't learn anything, perpetuating the cycle.

I remember my brother when he was in Grade 1 and he had problems listening etc. The teacher totally ignored him and let him play all day instead of learning the basics of reading and mathematics. My mother found out that he was not learning nothing and she was told he had to repeat another year of grade 1. Through out his life he was constantly teased and called a retard, eventually he ended up on drugs and alcohol as he grew older and got in trouble with the law. In prision he had to undergo a psych test and the determined that he had ADHD and depression. My brother is now recovered and been clean and sober for 7 years, and holds down 2 jobs. He has completed his parole and waiting to be pardoned. He has never comitted any violent act to anyone, but only robbing a bank for money for drugs. When he robbed the bank, he was under the influence of drugs and alcohol and never used a weapon but his finger in a pocket. He got 3 years, but only served 6 months in jail. He wrote a letter of apology to the community paper and apologized to the bank and the employee he robbed. From this experience of my brother, I can belame the school system for making him this way. First to label him and put him in special classes where he was tormented throughout his lifetime. If only that teacher could have helped him as early grade 1, his life would be completely different. My parents helped as much as they could and did whatever was possible to make his life awesome. I believe my brother can do anything he puts his mind to! I forgot to say when he was graduating highschool, the high school counsellor
said he would never receive is grade 12 dipoloma. My brother proved them all wrong, he completed a correspondance course by himself and graduated with his class. He also completed 2 years of an culinary arts diploma in a tech school. He was told that was he very creative with desserts. You can say my brother put the cake in their face, by graduating highschool and tech school. I will continue to be proud of my brother, no matter if the education system failed him earlier in his life.

Galexica

Galexica, I'm happy for your brother, turning his life around like that! That's pretty cool!

Daisy, et al.-- the term is "proactive"--taking charge of a situation in a positive way. Confrontation would be reactive, just reacting to negative stuff in an equally negative way. But you already knew that! :D

Let us know how it all turns out.

Daisy,

First of I would get a definate diagnose's if you haven't already. Have your doctor write a prescription for a extensive testing session and have it delivered to the school by a lawyer. We fought for several month's with our school to get our kid's tested to see exactly were they stood and were turned down and ignored several times. It's expensive and most small school's don't really have the budget BUT this is your daughter and her ENTIRE life we're talking about. When we had our's delivered by a lawyer there were no threat's but the testing was carried out in a matter of day's. Finding out were your daughter's strength's and weakness's are is one of the very first step's to ADD management and a successful life.

I, myself was not good at confrontation it's definatly a learned skill for most people. Check out the CHADD organization I have heard wonderful thing's about them, there is a link I believe on Big's page and Livingwithadd.

I would also definatly do my homework on medication. Sometime's like with my son med's are only temporary while your getting your behaviour modification tactic's in place and implemented.

Behaviour modification--is a crucial aspect of total treatment. As your child changes new modification's will have to be adapted to suit increased responsibility, social skill's should be a part of modification. Try having your daughter's teacher this year track behaviour's then by the next school year with a open minded teacher you can start implementing the new behaviour's. It help's to know exactly were the problem area's are and sometimes it's just a kid being a kid and has nothing to do with ADD you need to keep your eye out for those kind of complaint's.

To live a healthy lifestyle emotionally, physically and spiritually your daughter is going to need a lot of support not only from you but from her teacher's, family, friends, clergy. It's important that a "praise" modification is added. Make sure and tell her I"m so proud of you, your behaving so well and never tell her she's bad, your daughter is a good girl who can't control a real physical ailment be sure and tell her that her BEHAVIOUR'S are bad not her. Reinforce thinking thing's thru--every action has a reaction and SHE has to live with the consequence. Build her self esteem by stressing what she is good at, whether it be art or just simply being creative with her imagination. Oraganize yourself, be consistant and get active in her everyday life. I know life is busy but your daughter NEEDS to know you want to hear what she think's and you need to keep your eye out for such issue's that may effect her long term self esteem issue's i.e. bullying, a teacher who is abusive mentally ( my son had one of those this year and we had to nip that in the bud).

I would also make sure and look up the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and section 504 of the Rehabilitation ACt of 1973 learn them by heart if you have to. Your daughter has right's and it shouldn't be a knock down drag out battle to have them implemented.

Well, I gotta go for now the babies at full volume.

Hugs and good luck Daisy keep your head up.

p.s. Alway's remember ADD is NOT your fault...YOUR NOT a bad parent. But, with your help your daughter will SUCCEED, EXCELL AND LIVE A HAPPY, PRODUCTIVE LIFE.

I hate to be the voice of doom and gloom here, but....

You'll run into that problem a lot. Schools are so overcroweded, underfunded, and the majority of caring educators burn out and leave the system.

I know that I began asking teachers and counselors for help when I was in high school. I never felt like I had it together, I was always struggling. But no one listened, they assume that because I had a good (in their eyes anyway) home life and I wasn't failing outright, I was fine. I wasn't able to get help for ADD until this year, my third year of college, when I began failing two classes.

The most important thing you can do for your daughter is to help her develop skills to cope and show her that you care.

Help her develop skills that she can use outside of school, and within the existing system. Every little bit helps.

Keep trying to get the school to work with you--having her see you stand up for her, and acknowledge her ADD will make a huge difference. My parents don't believe in ADD, and I know that means so much more to me than what schools say.

By being persistant and helping your daughter, you can make sure that she doesn't fall into the trap of low-self esteem and depression that can come with ADD. Having people believe in your abilities is an amazing tool, and one that gets overlooked.