Sknipper
07-09-09, 10:49 PM
I am new to these boards because I have become fed up with my struggles in daily life and I am seeking a diagnosis for myself.
Reading here makes me realize that my daughter might very well also be ADHD. I had no idea there was such a strong genetic component to it. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD hyper type when he was 8 and was put on very high doses of Ritalin until he quit at 14. I met him 2.5 years later and he had noticable vocal and facial tics which he told me he believes were due to neurological damage from taking the Ritalin. I'll have to ask him how much he was taking. And now I'm so unable to cope that I am seeking help for my possible ADHD inattentive. I was referred for assessment at 15 but my mom didn't follow through with it. I am 24 now.
We've always called our daughter 'high-spirited' and 'high-needs' and 'hyper' but I am really struggling with her lately. I was reluctant to consider ADHD or any psych diagnosis because she is so young and everyone talks about how kids are over-diagnosed these days. She is 4.5 and has never gone to school.
A little bit about her issues:
Runs away every chance she gets, in public places and if there is an unlocked door at home
Seems to not be able to listen or follow directions, does not acknoledge or comply with requests or threats
Will not hold eye contact/focus for longer than 15 seconds
Always climbing, jumping, testing physical boundaries and getting into dangerous situations
Extreme defiance, says "Nobody tells me what to do, I do what I want. You can't boss me around, I'm tough and don't need a mother to watch me." stuff like that. If caught in the act of making a mess or destroying something, will rush to finish before we can intervene
Always on the go, but will zone out completely in front of a movie and not respond when spoken to. Only time she sits still without making trouble.
Seems to continue to do naughty things after repetitive discipline, but I wonder is she just isn't listening, doesn't remember, or doesn't have impulse control. ie: jumping on bed, walking on backs of furniture, sliding down railings, running away, crossing street alone, interrupting conversations and bothering strangers.
Has a hot temper and lashes out and complains when she doesn't get her way. Quick to punch and kick her brother when they argue.
I'm sure there is more, but that seems like enough. Her father and I are at the end of our rope and really worried about her and our family. She claims that she desperatley wants to go to school, but I worry that she'll be in big trouble right away. She isn't eligible for public school until August 2010 because of her age and we don't really have the money for her to go to private preschool, especially if it will be a disaster.
I am currently homeschooling her with kindergarten curriculum in reading and math. It is rough going but we do lessons in 15 minute spurts and she is retaining some information.
She is very bright. She's a sponge and constantly relaying information and quotes to me that she picks up from tv or adult conversations. She loves to do jigsaw puzzles and can do ones with several hundred pieces very quickly.
She eats healthy, mostly natural food, rarely gets pop or candy, and has plenty of exercise and a secure backyard to roam in at her will.
I hate the negative attention I get when I take her out in public.
I don't know what to do. I want to be better able to understand her and for our family to get along well instead of always stressing and being upset. But I feel the social pressure that there is something wrong with labeling a young kid, and really wrong with using medication.
But I'm just sad and heartsick over what is going to happen to her. I've made a decision I will be calling tomorrow to get her on the list for two local behavioral/developmental clinics to get testing. I first looked into it in February but backed off because of feeling like a bad mom. Unfortunately they have long waiting lists.
I'm honestly scared she's going to get hurt, get in trouble with authority, or get me in trouble and investigated because people perceive me as having no control over her. And it's true.
Also, her brother seems to be typical, very empathetic and loving, very good at communication and following directions. He's two years younger. But he idolizes her and picks up her habits and I've noticed recently she is persuading him to assist her in situations.
In one case, I had to have one of our locked gates open for a moment to move some trash and I told her under no circumstances was she to touch the gate or she'd have to go inside for the rest of the day. When I came back I found her guiding her brother's hand to the latch and encouraging him to open the gate for her to get out.
Sorry for writing such a novel, we had a really rough day today and I've been in some physical pain and she told me she was glad I hurt because I never let her do what she wants. And that really hurt me. Guess I'm just looking for some input from parents who have experience in this.
Reading here makes me realize that my daughter might very well also be ADHD. I had no idea there was such a strong genetic component to it. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD hyper type when he was 8 and was put on very high doses of Ritalin until he quit at 14. I met him 2.5 years later and he had noticable vocal and facial tics which he told me he believes were due to neurological damage from taking the Ritalin. I'll have to ask him how much he was taking. And now I'm so unable to cope that I am seeking help for my possible ADHD inattentive. I was referred for assessment at 15 but my mom didn't follow through with it. I am 24 now.
We've always called our daughter 'high-spirited' and 'high-needs' and 'hyper' but I am really struggling with her lately. I was reluctant to consider ADHD or any psych diagnosis because she is so young and everyone talks about how kids are over-diagnosed these days. She is 4.5 and has never gone to school.
A little bit about her issues:
Runs away every chance she gets, in public places and if there is an unlocked door at home
Seems to not be able to listen or follow directions, does not acknoledge or comply with requests or threats
Will not hold eye contact/focus for longer than 15 seconds
Always climbing, jumping, testing physical boundaries and getting into dangerous situations
Extreme defiance, says "Nobody tells me what to do, I do what I want. You can't boss me around, I'm tough and don't need a mother to watch me." stuff like that. If caught in the act of making a mess or destroying something, will rush to finish before we can intervene
Always on the go, but will zone out completely in front of a movie and not respond when spoken to. Only time she sits still without making trouble.
Seems to continue to do naughty things after repetitive discipline, but I wonder is she just isn't listening, doesn't remember, or doesn't have impulse control. ie: jumping on bed, walking on backs of furniture, sliding down railings, running away, crossing street alone, interrupting conversations and bothering strangers.
Has a hot temper and lashes out and complains when she doesn't get her way. Quick to punch and kick her brother when they argue.
I'm sure there is more, but that seems like enough. Her father and I are at the end of our rope and really worried about her and our family. She claims that she desperatley wants to go to school, but I worry that she'll be in big trouble right away. She isn't eligible for public school until August 2010 because of her age and we don't really have the money for her to go to private preschool, especially if it will be a disaster.
I am currently homeschooling her with kindergarten curriculum in reading and math. It is rough going but we do lessons in 15 minute spurts and she is retaining some information.
She is very bright. She's a sponge and constantly relaying information and quotes to me that she picks up from tv or adult conversations. She loves to do jigsaw puzzles and can do ones with several hundred pieces very quickly.
She eats healthy, mostly natural food, rarely gets pop or candy, and has plenty of exercise and a secure backyard to roam in at her will.
I hate the negative attention I get when I take her out in public.
I don't know what to do. I want to be better able to understand her and for our family to get along well instead of always stressing and being upset. But I feel the social pressure that there is something wrong with labeling a young kid, and really wrong with using medication.
But I'm just sad and heartsick over what is going to happen to her. I've made a decision I will be calling tomorrow to get her on the list for two local behavioral/developmental clinics to get testing. I first looked into it in February but backed off because of feeling like a bad mom. Unfortunately they have long waiting lists.
I'm honestly scared she's going to get hurt, get in trouble with authority, or get me in trouble and investigated because people perceive me as having no control over her. And it's true.
Also, her brother seems to be typical, very empathetic and loving, very good at communication and following directions. He's two years younger. But he idolizes her and picks up her habits and I've noticed recently she is persuading him to assist her in situations.
In one case, I had to have one of our locked gates open for a moment to move some trash and I told her under no circumstances was she to touch the gate or she'd have to go inside for the rest of the day. When I came back I found her guiding her brother's hand to the latch and encouraging him to open the gate for her to get out.
Sorry for writing such a novel, we had a really rough day today and I've been in some physical pain and she told me she was glad I hurt because I never let her do what she wants. And that really hurt me. Guess I'm just looking for some input from parents who have experience in this.