In the structured, focused environment of school, I did reasonably well. I don't understand why soon after I was out of school my ADHD symptoms came crashing down around me.

Usually, the symptoms of ADHD manifest themselves IN school, where the child can't keep up. But I never had that problem. This is one of the reasons why I often doubt that I have ADHD.

Is there another, similar condition that shows up only in adulthood? Or did the strict school rules keep my ADHD symptoms at bay?

As a kid in high school, expectations of me were low and my parents were almost completely uninvolved with my progress. I despised being in school but became quite an expert in my favorite topic of sports cars. I hyperfocused on them, learning all about them and all the science around them. Of course that didn't help me in school - I barely graduated.

I got out of high school and drifted aimlessly for many years. Finally in my 30's I realized I was not where I wanted to be and not headed in a useful direction - I had topped out. Something big would have to change.

I took some gap-filling high school level courses, enrolled in a community college engineering program and later transferred to a university. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. The only way it was possible was that it became the all-consuming core of my life - Hyperfocus Central.

For those of us who can hyperfocus, I think we can do pretty much anything that we're sufficiently motivated to do as long as we have the basic capability. I hated college even more than high school, but I was motivated by the fear of a life that would never realize its potential.

I'm never going to come up with the Unified Field Theory no matter how hard I try. I'm not smart enough. But I wonder now if I might be more satisfied if I had pursued medicine or investments. I had no background or interest in those things then, but they would have allowed me to do good things - much more than I am able to do now. That's something that has become very important to me. (Hmmm, I wonder if my drive to do good things, to live a life of purpose, is because I feel I've accomplished so little.... Thanks for posting this - I see I have more issues to work out.)

But I digress. I think motivation, positive or negative, plays a huge part in ADDers' behavior. If the structured environment of school gave you comfort, if there were expectations of you that you wanted to meet and you were intellectually capable of meeting them, I can see how school might have gone very well for you. And how real life might not.

For many of us, if we don't want to do it, it ain't happening. If we really want to do it, good luck getting us to do anything else.

ZD

I had a lot of problems with procrastination in school, relating to not caring much about the topics I was studying. The thing I did like about school was that it gave me a plan and a purpose. What was I doing for the next few years? Studying whatever classes I chose and working during the summer. Great! I didn't give much thought to the fact that I had no plan for what to do after graduating. After I graduated in '07, suddenly I didn't have this imposed-from-outside routine/plan and really struggled and continue to struggle. If I don't have structure in my life then I flounder - and I seem to need the structure to be imposed from outside. Sometimes I wish I could hire a "life manager."

Can I ask, If when in school were you receiving lots of "accomodations" or had a case manager or teacher or parent that was there for support? I could imagine just the transition from (i am assuming) High School, where everyone was on top of you to make sure things were done on time etc. could lead you to "fall off the wagon" when you entered into real life?

I am a teacher, and I always have worried that the abundance of "services and support" given to students was not truly preparing them for real life scenarios.

Well, in thinking about my own experiences as a young academic, I've been trying to piece that together too. I think I've made some sense of it now. In elementary school, I just wasn't really there. I didn't know what school was for, I didn't like it, I didn't dislike it, I just zoned out, doodled, and avoided people. My teachers all thought I was about average, since even in grade school I was reading at a high school level.(I know that isn't typical for ADD, but books are like video games in my world - I get insanely into them, hyperfocus, and won't get up for hours and hours). When I got into middle school, I had a teacher who realized I could read and write really well (that's pretty much my only talent - I'm absolutely in love with and fixated on words). He got me really into writing, and with my writing skill I was able to skate through most of the classes at my highly structured private school. The exceptions being math and Spanish, which my dad literally went over with me a hundred times before every test - drill sergeant style. In college, I lived at home and my parents still helped me out in the one math class I took in college and some other things, but my talent for writing really carried a lot of the weight. Unfortunately, no one noticed HOW LONG it took me to write a decent paper, how much time I spent staring into space, dropping plans, starting over, rereading difficult texts, and how many emotional/ relationship problems I was covering up with elitism and avoidance. Also, far over half my credits were in writing, art, and literature classes, so my 3.0 gpa was bumped up to a 3.8. My self esteem was really bad because I couldn't make it work for all these other classes, and I didn't know why. It all didn't start to fall apart until I moved out and went to grad school, where my bf had to take on tons of responsibility because I couldn't remember to do ANYTHING around the house, with bills, or work. I got through grad school with insane amounts of caffeine, always procrastinating, and, again, on my writing and love of books. Then I moved up to the PhD level only to completely fall apart. There just wasn't time for me to spend two weeks trying to get to a paper, or to get to some research, then being able to work perfectly for two hours, then not being able to focus for another week, while teaching and commuting.
I was finally diagnosed when I explained all this to my psychologist - and my mother revealed the deep family secret - she knew! (She "guessed" as much). And my older brother has been on ritalin for years! GAH!

In the structured, focused environment of school, I did reasonably well. I don't understand why soon after I was out of school my ADHD symptoms came crashing down around me.

Usually, the symptoms of ADHD manifest themselves IN school, where the child can't keep up. But I never had that problem. This is one of the reasons why I often doubt that I have ADHD.

Is there another, similar condition that shows up only in adulthood? Or did the strict school rules keep my ADHD symptoms at bay?

Wow, this sounds so much like me. I just graduated from Uni in March and since then I have had the hardest time staying on track for anything. I have a non-profit to be running, the GRE to study for/take, grad schools to be applying for...without a syllabus I am completely lost.

As in any condition, individuals will present their symptoms relatively uniquely. There are some general guidelines for diagnostic purposes, but like in the world of Asperger's there's a saying that if you've met one Aspie, then you've met one Aspie. I would say the same holds true, here. We may just be the type that, well, thrive under academic pressure. I don't know about you, but it's not all pressure that kicks me in to overdrive, either. Who knows how our biological and environmental soup came to that particular end. :rolleyes:

In the structured, focused environment of school, I did reasonably well. I don't understand why soon after I was out of school my ADHD symptoms came crashing down around me.

Usually, the symptoms of ADHD manifest themselves IN school, where the child can't keep up. But I never had that problem. This is one of the reasons why I often doubt that I have ADHD.

Is there another, similar condition that shows up only in adulthood? Or did the strict school rules keep my ADHD symptoms at bay?

I did relatively well in school, despite all my ADD symptoms (no H in there for me). Never ever did any homework, and I can perhaps name two occasions that I can remember actually listening to a teacher. I don't remember studying anything, and yet I managed to get a B average, meaning there were some Ds in there, and there were some As in as well. I think I coped with it by just writing everything all the teachers said, just writing everything down without even processing it. Also, having someone boot me out of bed and getting thrown in school every day at the same time and having a schedule - I had after school music classes and swimming and other stuff, so my schedule was totally from morning to night - just helped me zone along from class to class and not get totally lost.

When I discussed my diagnosis with my parents, they recognized all the symptoms from my childhood. They said they knew I was kinda off, but I had good enough grades so they just figured I caught things off the airwaves and that was good enough for them.

So, no, not everyone does bad in school, there's more factors to consider. I have to thank my parents for keeping me so busy and schedule-bound year after year after year that I didn't really have time to be bored or to slack off much. Of course, once school ended... ;)

I haven't been diagnosed, but I match almost all of the symptoms. When I first entered school I was extremely spaced out and confused. Then when I hit first grade I would make dumb mistakes or fail to retain information properly, and that would catch the attention of my classmates. I started to be made fun of throughout elementary school for those various mistakes and that created a big anxiety inside of me.

Through the rest of my schooling that anxiety along with parental pressure is what fueled me. I always felt like my life was on the line and if I didn't pay enough attention I would be hurt somehow. The anxiety kept me focused and motivated enough. Whenever I procrastinated that last minute deadline forced me to complete all of my projects.

Now that I am out of school I see that life goes on and cycles repeat. I'm not going to die if I screw up an interview or don't look for jobs in my field. I can get by alright with a pretty lazy existence, so I don't try as much. That anxiety isn't there as much anymore and now I have to motivate myself.

Like I said, I'm undiagnosed. So as far as I know the true Inattentive ADD type don't even feel this anxiety, but its hard for me to see how they couldn't.