View Full Version : what's it feel like to come out of depression?


johnny s.
07-28-09, 12:08 AM
i just started WB and I feel different.

I'm wondering if I was depressed for a LONG time & never knew it.

when I started adderall, it helped a lot.

but I still didn't really come out of my shell, so to speak.

I still felt kinda hopeless about life's challanges, and didn't just live up to my potential and charge ahead to take them on.

now I feel like I can do that.

I never thought I was depressed because I could still have fun, but I see now that I was pretty hopeless and didn't have much direction in life.

eleanorabernathy
07-28-09, 10:54 AM
i wish i could feel like that. i've been on and off wb for 8 or 9 years, on add meds for... 2 years? i feel like crap right now. still feel like i don't have much direction in life. :(

when i went on my first anti-depressant 18 years ago (prozac) my pcp said it wasn't supposed to take away my problems, but level my emotions so I can better deal with the problems. when I commented (recently) to my therapist that I didn't feel like the anti-depressants weren't working, she made a comment something to the effect of, they're not going to take away all the depression. Something like that. At least, that's how I interpreted it. i should be happy right now, and i'm not. why CAN'T i find an anti-depressant that will lift my mood?

lk44
07-30-09, 10:49 AM
An antidepressant alone is just going to play with the chemicals in your mind. And the ADHD medications just make the world easier to deal with, more interesting, more easy to get lost in.

But believe me, I've been on both and still lay on the floor of the shower, despairing, retreating from the world.

The only thing that will help is finding meaning. Try finding a physical exercise class that you can get involved with like karate or yoga or a jogging club.

Take some time to figure out what you honestly care about and come up with some ways to do it.

Mickster
07-30-09, 12:23 PM
Depression for me is mostly physical in the sense that what physically happens with me turns into a mental state and complete fetal position shutdown if Im off my meds.
Ive forgtotten to take my meds many times, and my wife can tell when:
I blink a lot, and become a bit sensitive to light. Cant think straight, remember short term, get irritable,
Brow furrows, cant understand conversations, stop talking unles in grnuts and uh-huhs
Lose energy to be active, using all energy to think and interact and dress, wash, eat etc.
Eventually lose track of time, dont bathe, dont change clothes for days, dont leave house, dont eat,
then im in the hole, cant get out, too tired and confused and now my mind takes over by trying to tell me why I feel like this:
Guilt over past deeds, regrets over relationships, jobs lost, education missed, anything that Isnt attributed to a brain chemical imbalance....

coming out of depression for the first time was like putting on glasses. I could see clearer, though the problems havent changed, I was able to understand them better and deal with them on a new level. But the best thing was energy, hope and finally being diagnosed ( I wasnt crazy?) was the hugest plus.

Hang in there! :)

Yeah meds help, keep me level, not high or happy. On meds, I still get sad or angry but about proper things. Anti-Depressants are a neccessity in my life, like brushing my teeth or eating. thats all. Now, having Depression, Add, Diabetes and Seasonal Affective Disorder.....thats a juggling act !

Mickster
07-30-09, 12:28 PM
AD's were not a mood lifter per se, but when I felt level, I started to enjoy things I never did. When I was having fun with new friends or hobbies, my mood lifted and I kept doing them, Excersie helped too

stef
07-31-09, 04:14 AM
it slowly dawns on you that you are "not unhappy". It was like someone had turned off a horrible, noisy machine.
this happened to me after I first saw a therapist (for anxiety; didn't know about ADD yet); I was walking down the street, I had on these great new boots, I was just a regular person walking outside not some anxious miserable bug.

Retromancer
07-31-09, 05:38 AM
It is best not to pursue ones search for meaning while laying on the floor of the shower...
I will say from experience that there is a time for everything -- being in the midst of a vegetative depression is not the best time to search for meaning to it all..

Oh and it is all about playing with the chemicals in your mind -- whether it's exercise or antidepressants. Again it is a matter of timing. When the sun is figuratively out that's the time to start those routines that will make a difference in your life.

An antidepressant alone is just going to play with the chemicals in your mind. And the ADHD medications just make the world easier to deal with, more interesting, more easy to get lost in.

But believe me, I've been on both and still lay on the floor of the shower, despairing, retreating from the world.

The only thing that will help is finding meaning. Try finding a physical exercise class that you can get involved with like karate or yoga or a jogging club.

Take some time to figure out what you honestly care about and come up with some ways to do it.

Retromancer
07-31-09, 05:52 AM
There's no quicker way to bring oneself down, than to insist that you should be happy!

Our expectations of antidepressants -- based in part on drug company hype -- cannot match the reality of what they actually deliver. When they deliver. There is probably no drug that isn't also addictive that will deliver what you are seeking. That is simply the state of the pharmaceutical art. Sorry.

i wish i could feel like that. i've been on and off wb for 8 or 9 years, on add meds for... 2 years? i feel like crap right now. still feel like i don't have much direction in life. :(

when i went on my first anti-depressant 18 years ago (prozac) my pcp said it wasn't supposed to take away my problems, but level my emotions so I can better deal with the problems. when I commented (recently) to my therapist that I didn't feel like the anti-depressants weren't working, she made a comment something to the effect of, they're not going to take away all the depression. Something like that. At least, that's how I interpreted it. i should be happy right now, and i'm not. why CAN'T i find an anti-depressant that will lift my mood?

Ethereal
08-01-09, 10:56 AM
When I read Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises" for the first time, there was a sentence that caught my attention- when asked how he went bankrupt, he replied "gradually, then suddenly". That's what both becoming depressed and coming out of a depression is like for me (Elizabeth Wurtzel also used that quote to describe depression in "Prozac Nation", so it's not just me).

At first, the process is slow, I don't notice that I'm getting better, but suddenly, I realize that I'm no longer in a state where all I want is to die. My life doesn't seem quite as unbearable, my future not as hopeless. I want to do things, instead of just crying all day.

gnbeg
08-03-09, 02:43 PM
I didn't realize it, but I have had cycles of depression long before being diagnosed with ADHD and bi-polar. I can think if times back to high school when I was depressed. (I'm 50) My depression was rarely the dark, sad, can't get out of bed type. It was much more subtle.

I noticed a few small things that changed when I started feeling better. I got more sleep. Small things didn't bother me as much. When depressed, having my shoe strings come loose was reason to get angry or down. Episodes of anger were less noticeable. I got more sleep. I was less tired and achy. I was more willing to get out and do things rather than hole up in my house.

Hope this helps,

firstdesserts
08-03-09, 05:17 PM
A very few short hours after taking my first dose of Prozac, I found myself singing out loud to myself, "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone! I can see all obstacles in my way! Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind! It's gonna be a bright, bright, sun shiny day! It's gonna be a bright, bright, sun shiny day!"

There have been a couple dark times since, but not nearly as dark as they once were.

iggypop
08-03-09, 05:51 PM
i can totally understand the frustration ........with the WB i never had any relief,but did get some with the adderall,i had the feeling of coming out of my shell.the med gives me 6 hrs of relief then i crash and am depressed the rest of the day.the only activity i feel up to is coming to this sight. also people say they see a change in my affect.when the med looses it life, the darkness around my eye's returns.and the computer is off.:mad:
i hope that i can express this to the pdoc and work with him to get better results.
i have been on all the depression meds,even went threw ECT with no relief.it is so hard to go everyday like this. and in this heat wave all i do is sweat,i really just want to drink beer all day today.but that is no solution.

movingforward
08-07-09, 04:19 PM
True that Retromancer...Relying on drugs solely can't make all our problems disappear. I'm 29 and have been depressed since I was about 12. Truly understanding myself and my own thought patterns has really helped me. Plus, spending time with my dad and realizing how much I am like him in terms of repetitive thoughts and the negativity does explain a lot.

Other things that helped with depressed is realizing that I should blame others and traveling has really opened up my mind and gave me a global perspective.




There's no quicker way to bring oneself down, than to insist that you should be happy!

Our expectations of antidepressants -- based in part on drug company hype -- cannot match the reality of what they actually deliver. When they deliver. There is probably no drug that isn't also addictive that will deliver what you are seeking. That is simply the state of the pharmaceutical art. Sorry.

iggypop
08-07-09, 09:01 PM
to be out of depression is a dream,
to wake up and feel good,and want to clean my apt. then do laundry,cook a nice breakfast. then go out into the world and look for work and that would be my job till i found a job.
not to dwell on all the negitives in life ,and focus on the good things!
to grab my dive gear head down to the beach and do what i have always loved
to continue the hunt for a white sea bass,to fill my freezer.
to feel like being with my friends again!
to not feel agitated,at a small disruption.

THAT WOULD BE A SIGN OF COMING OUT OF DEPRESSION

movingforward
08-08-09, 01:36 PM
Very nice and poetic! That dream can be reality. :-)

to be out of depression is a dream,
to wake up and feel good,and want to clean my apt. then do laundry,cook a nice breakfast. then go out into the world and look for work and that would be my job till i found a job.
not to dwell on all the negitives in life ,and focus on the good things!
to grab my dive gear head down to the beach and do what i have always loved
to continue the hunt for a white sea bass,to fill my freezer.
to feel like being with my friends again!
to not feel agitated,at a small disruption.

THAT WOULD BE A SIGN OF COMING OUT OF DEPRESSION