D [guest]
Daydreaming Men? Posted 7-3-2002 19:56

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Hey, does anyone know if men can get innatentive ADD?Thanks

livingwithadd
Yes Posted 7-4-2002 07:07

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Yes, males can have Attention Deficit Disorder with out the Hyperactivity too....

binaryslave
im an example Posted 9-6-2002 13:39

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Yes, they can. I am a perfect example of a man with ADD and no hyperactivity. It is one of the reasons that it took so long for me to get diagnosed.

peter [guest]
yes Posted 11-28-2002 17:36

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i'll second the last remark

You know...When I was younger, I could swear that I was ADHD (Hyperactive), but now that I have gotten older, I am much less Hyperactive, and much more Hyper-Mental. (Is there such a thing?...lol)

I imagine that Hyper-mental is the state of mind my husband achieves while in the same room as me,but an entirely other planet. It took me a long time to undertstand that he wasn't simply and ignorent S.O.B. Although I doubt I can ever totally understand that ADD place I do understand that he visits it a lot. I also understand the poetry and endless inventions ,some of which are wayyyyyyyyy out there, but most of all, I understand the person, I firmly believe that having a partner that understands ADD or at least is willing to try to understand is an absolute necessity.

I'm a perfect example of primarily inattentive ADD. My nickname as a little boy was "sleepy"... I'm more sluggish and "couch potato-ish" than anything else. I have my bursts of hyperactivity, but mostly I want to lay down, sleep, and daydream.

I've ruled out almost all the physical problems that can cause sleepiness and lethargy -- my depression is treated with Wellbutrin, my hormonal issues are resolved with Dostinex, and my sleep apnea is treated with a CPAP. My body is as well treated as it can be, and yet STILL I'm tired and lethargic. It's gotten to the point where my pulmonologist (sleep doctor) has been talking about putting me on drugs to help me feel "less sleepy" -- IE, he has tacitly admitted that my fatigue and lethargy have no non-neurological basis that he can come up with. That's a pretty clear sign!

I am frustrated to read that inattentive type occurs "mainly in women" because even though that's true, it often leads people to believe it can't/doesn't occur in men. Just like sleep apnea doesn't ONLY occur in "old fat men" (women get it too, and I'm relatively young and not THAT out of shape), inattentive doesn't just occur in women... Lots of stereotypes :)

-- Tom

As a kid I remeber only bursts of hyperactivity mostly I remeber saying things I regretted that got me made fun off. Just like stupid outburst off topic with friends or telling "tall stories" so much to get attention. I never bounced off the walls and ran around in school.
Thus it was clear I had attentitive ADD with slight hyperactivity. However like a lot of adults with ADHD the hyperactivity got under control becasue of peer pressure and how our society looks down upon hyperactive induviduals, through college and on.
I cant relate though becasue I haven't had a hyperactive burst since I was in gradeschool.
Actually... the only time I ever overact
is when I blow up in the fit of anger we all know so well. The fit at the tiniest things interupting concentration, relaxation, mood, ect...

But mostly I'm the quiet "keep-to-myself" type that cant stay focused or keep interest in anything, including hobbies and things I enjoy...
:)

Wow, everytime I read a new post on this forum I find myself talking.....
When I was a kid I skipped school and slept in the closet under the stairs all day long..... Shades of Harry Potter....

I for sure am Inattentive to everything, sometimes I feel like the "pod people" must have felt in that old movie.....

I think it's a stigma or cliche or something that males with ADD necessarily have ADD with hyperactivity....where did that come from? Because little boys are hyper and active and aggressive? Well, Dan is VERY much inattentive type....in fact I am more hyper than he is....and I don't have hyperactivity....:)

When I was a kid I skipped school and slept in the closet under the stairs all day long
Ha! I used to drive my younger sister to school. When we arrived at school she would get out and go inside, I would stay in my car and sleep.

There were several times when I would fall asleep in class and wake up to a completely different group of people around me...woops.

My Mom thought I was anemic or something. No one had even a thought that I was ADD.

In first grade my teacher thought I was "Slow", but in reality I was bored because her class was not stimulating enough for me.
When we changed to a private school for 2nd and 3rd grade I thrived and did excellent. I don't think I was ever hyper, but more likely inattentive. I have always been a pretty enthuiastic person, except of course during a few times when I was depressed :)

I'm only hyper when challenged, mostly by social situations, otherwise it's a more laid-back mental disorganization, or I'm not fully alert, foggy, fatigued, bored. The main thing is boredom and irritation- it's very hard for me to find anything that interests me. I've used up a lot of interests, and anything that isn't new irritates the hell out of me. People are boring, books are boring, movies are boring, life is boring. I'm grateful for anything new and different that strikes my fancy, and sometimes it's just some odd cerebral sensation. If there is an answer to this, it's probably finding a wellspring of novelty in my head, or else some kind of boredom-erasing medication.

36yo-male here... and have always been on the extreme side of ADD.

I've generally been simply ADD throughout my adult life, no hyperactivity, but I've noticed lately that I've been extremely fidgety and chatty. I can't sit still at support group meetings without moving my legs about. I (barely) manage to avoid getting up in the middle and going outside to have a cigarette.

I've been taking an Adderall XR (30) / Adderall (15) mix for the last year, and the effects seem to be wearing off.

And I'm also suffering from Wellzheimer's (wondering if my Wellbutrin hasn't finally outlived its usefulness too).

Does this have anything to do with the topic? I can't remember now. It's my first time posting. It's so nice to find a forum like this. I did a search on Google for "Wellbutrin, forgetfulness" and this forum came up. I just HAD to post.

Oh, by the way, I'm in a committed relationship with my life/soulmate. He and I have been together 9 years and are still very much in love.

I'm seeking men for dating, possible short-term relationships--no sex on the first date, sorry. No drinkers, drug users. Ex-cons okay but you must be involved with a twelve-step program. Please include picture or three paragraph physical description with reply.

hey ftlaudwolf: glad youre here pal.how come youre seeking men for dating when youre in a committed relationship?well it will be nice to read your entries.yes welbutrin can cause the senior mooments i think they call them, as many meds do.

Well, although I was kind of drifting while I was writing so I made a joke about it. But it's a long story... very long story...

I think I'm going to talk to my doctor about the Wellbutrin though.

I'm kinda new here and was wondering if it was really considered ok to advertise yourself and treat this forum as a place to pick up as thou it was the personals... or maybe I just missed the joke, nevermind.

Anyway I do have add inatentive and relate everything people are saying here except the sleep thing. Sure I sleep longer than most people at night, but during the day I am a constant adventure seeker. So thats where all my money goes and have nothing to my name.

I'll let the admins handle THAT one, though you should be able to "do what you want" in PM land... (Private Message)

Hey can you really ride a unicycle

Thats neat

My Dad used to ride his Bike Backwards

I never figured that one out

I had a crush on a second cousin (you can marry a second cousin) and she taught me how to ride her unicycle.

That's ALL she taught me how to ride! (Get outta here!)

I started inattentive, I think, and developed more hyperactive symptoms as I grew up...

I'm thinking more & more that i could be ADD inattentive. When younger I remember being extremely hyper, i was flat out wild back in those days lol. But as i got older that started to change. My grandmother died, i was separated from my 1 & only girlfriend, & i moved to a completely different neighborhood, all in the same year. Plus it was around this time(i was 14) when i began to realise i was different from most people. HS was like torture for me sometimes & besides the few friends i had, i kept to myself.

I started acting more like a "couch potato" & to this day i still act that way. Even though I do have my moments where i'm full of energy. I often daydream about different things, so i guess i could be an example as well

I'm a 42-year-old male who definitely falls in the inattentive category. I have plenty of dreams but rarely convert them to goals. I will zone out on a regular basis. I fail to pick up on social signals. I constantly leave chores and projects until the last minute. I can write about anything, however. Give me a topic, no matter how mundane, and I'll make something interesting out of it. I suppose that's one of the benefits of ADHD.

I am a 44yo male just diagnosed. I am definately inattentive. I think that is why it took so long to diagnose me. I am not lethargic, but I do put as much as possible off to the last moment. I am responding in this forum instead of doing work that needs to get done. I have always been distracted when talking to others and trying to get tasks accommplished.

The answer is yes. I am a male diagnosed with Inattentive ADD.

I was diagnosed ADHD, however I was never hyperactive. I was TOO damn calm to the point of laziness.. I just couldn't focus on anything and had a horrible attention span, short term memory, the usual signs of ADD.
HOWEVER. Now , if I try to go without my medicine or forget to take it, I bounce off of the walls like a 10 year old on a sugar rush. Off my medicine, I APPEAR to be the happiest person alive, but my poor mind feels like a wreck and mentally I am miserable. I think it has to do with some withdrawl effects though.

Btw Blueguy- I can relate with you on that one... lol.. Especially the part " I can write about anything. Give me a topic and I'll make something interesting out of it." I can turn a conversation about absolutely nothing into a serious and interesting subject. And I analyze anything and everything and It doesnt make a difference to me if i have someone there to listen to me ramble on or not.. I spend too much of my time analyzing some of the dumbest things in my head... Its actually proven here and there to be a good thing, but sometimes it just gets really damn annoying.. I think my medicine does have alot to do with it though.. ( Adderall )

Another Inattentive, stepping forward.

(Well not actually stepping forward, but I'm thinking about it.) ;)

Originally posted by shtrahler
I'm only hyper when challenged, mostly by social situations, otherwise it's a more laid-back mental disorganization, or I'm not fully alert, foggy, fatigued, bored. The main thing is boredom and irritation- it's very hard for me to find anything that interests me. I've used up a lot of interests, and anything that isn't new irritates the hell out of me. People are boring, books are boring, movies are boring, life is boring. I'm grateful for anything new and different that strikes my fancy, and sometimes it's just some odd cerebral sensation. If there is an answer to this, it's probably finding a wellspring of novelty in my head, or else some kind of boredom-erasing medication.

Pot.

What you are talking about: "If there is an answer to this, it's probably finding a wellspring of novelty in my head, or else some kind of boredom-erasing medication." is pot.

It is for me. I am not advocating being stoned all day, or even everyday - just when the boredom becomes unbearable - then a toke and make note all the weird and wonderfull creativity that pot gives you. Now when sober, act on some of those notes - the ones that are reasonable and not too far out - focus on the ones that help humanity, advance art or science, etc. or at least the ones the will help you improve yourself.

Now look I'm not suggesting that there's going to a cure for cancer in there - so it doesn't matter if 99.9% of the ideas will be, well, let say "half-baked" - one can safely ignore them; but .1% will be good enough to merit serious investigation. So than, all of a sudden one is no longer bored but rather are on an inventive and creative mission to study the feasibility of some fantasy that occured to you while enjoying a high. Of that initial .1% a further 99.9% will unravel within the first day of research - (Google is an inquisitive mind's best friend). But! maybe a couple will make it through this first stab at becoming reality and now require some physical action! This is the stage I'm at with a few of these less half-baked ideas (a buisness, an concept for a middleware application, a planter that one needs to water only once in a long while, and some ideas about self-improvement that are really paying off personally and professionally). It has helped me stave off boredom and helped with my contributions to the world around me, however meager they may be. Perhaps by some stroke of pure luck, somewhere, onwards - I will strike on some actual brilliance; something that may lead me to do something so fun and exciting and in particular - engrosing - that it will provide me with so much "anti-boredom" for the rest of my life, that I will be able to say I WAS ADD!

Artist after artist has sought his muse in drugs... alcohol, pot, others...

They eventually see that their impression of how "smart" they are when high is not reflected when they look again at the same thing while sober.

Your experience may differ, but people who earn their keep on their creativity tend to form a pattern.

Yes one that is usually self-destructive because it seeks to create while under the influence. Here - the thrust is not on creation but rather in the summoning of the muse and leaving creation itself: reasoning and action - to sobriety! Because creativity without industry is worse than nothing - it is the hell that is my ADD. But lets not dwell in the nadir - right now the sun is shining and as much as I am enjoying the scenery - I have a keen eye for that particular boulder in my river and have every intention of glancing gently off it without paddling wildly in a fervent state of self-preservation.

why- suggesting drug "abuse" as its called, isn't very...whats the word I'm looking for here... Considerate?...
I'm not one to talk down on those who use drugs, and have done my share of them in the past.. and thats exactly why I have to disagree with your suggestion.
People with ADD or any other type of disorder that affects the minds ability to function "normally" , in my opinion, and most any doctor Im sure would agree, should AVOID using mind altering substances. Drugs are basically the exact opposite of "helping" matters any. Personally speaking, an ADD person already has plenty enough trouble focusing and controling their thoughts.. From my own experience, I have to say that pot only made things MUCH WORSE for me. By worse I'm talking about making any positive progress in my life and taking steps to better myself. With ADD I have a very hard time finding motivation to do anything with my life, and thats WITHOUT the use of drugs involved.. When drugs WERE involved, there was no hard time, progress just didnt exist at all for me.

shtrahler- As stupid and easier said than done as it is.. Find a hobby and when you find one that actually grabs your attention STICK with it.. Almost all hobbies can be taken to the next level once you become bored with it. I took an interest in cars- keeps me too ****ing busy at times- but it interest me and theres always more to learn no matter how much I know.. Maybe it wont be cars for you, but there is SOMETHING out there that'll grab your attention and has more to teach than you have life span to learn.. Might take some time to find it, but you have to look, and when you find it you'll know it.

just my 2 cents..

Good luck

You're right Shane_Tweezy, I should've added a disclaimer: YMMV (Your Milage May Vary) - What works for me may not work for you.

As an aside - you seem too quick to grab for the word abuse - if I mentioned that I like to have a nightcap (drink) once in a while to help me sleep, I'm sure the word "alcoholic" wouldn't apear in the first sentence of your reply. Pot is a substance like any other substance - it can be used and abused - frankly, I can't see any logical argument, able to sustain scrutiny, that would prove what I wrote to be "abuse". Also, you seem to have assumed that your experience is universal (I guess, sans disclaimer, my post may have been the same) but I assure you that there are many people out there ADD or not who can make responsible use of this substance - even if you are not one of them.

Furthermore, "Find a hobby and when you find one that actually grabs your attention STICK with it.. " I believe, the main issue that us innatentive ADDers are dealing with is the "sticking with it" so that statement amounts to telling a parapalegic - just get up and walk. My proposal, although involving an (arbitrarily) illegal substance, is not suggesting any one "stick with it" but rather how to find a copious supply of "it's" and how to evaluate them for their "stickiness". You may note that at the end of the post the ultimate goal is to stumble on an "it" so "sticky" that no effort to "stick with it" will be neccessary. But then, as I should have written earlier, YMMV.

Well, I have to agree with you. I was rather quick to use the word abuse. However, my point still remains.
Without getting into a full blown arugument about wheather pot should be legalized or not, or wheather its a "safe" drug or not- Fact is; its illegal, and considered an unsafe drug to use under any condition regaurdless of how frequent nor the amount a person "uses". Presently, as far as science, studies, and law is concerned, there is no "responsible" of using it.
you seem to have assumed that your experience is universal
I did not address my personal experience as universal at all. I clearly used MY personal experience as grounds to disagree with you, just as you used your own experience to suggest what you did. We both made it quite clear that we were merely using ourselves as liable grounds to base what we "believe / do not believe".

As for the hobby... I dont think my suggestion could be compared with telling a paraplegic to "get up and walk".. I did state it would be and IS easier said than done , but it IS do-able. I hate to use such an abused quote, but "If I can do it- so can (you) ". Resorting to using drugs is more or less an easy way out of "trying".

the ultimate goal is to stumble on an "it" so "sticky" that no effort to "stick with it
Your absolutely correct on that note. And I think I did exactly that, just in a different way. Instead of relying on false interpretations and a distorted sense of "reality" that are only temporary and come from the use of an illegal substance..Why not seek-out something that is a natural and realistic, not to mention legal, stimulation

Ok brother - we'll agree to disagree.

I must say though you are very misinformed and seemed to have swallowed the propaganda hook, line and sinker - despite vast amounts of information to the contrary - which I can direct you to if you wish to challenge your preconceived notions.

Enough though. You are what you are and I am what I am - asside from this forum our paths are unlikely to cross so that our disagreement on this issue is entirely inconsequential. Cheers and good luck with your future endeavours.

Hey Shane_Tweezy, sorry about the passive-agressive tone. Normally I am more diplomatic and considerate. I meant no offence - you are very much entitled to your own opinions no matter how much they differ with mine. Cheers.

Note: I never said wheather or not I agreed or disagreed with the so-called science nor law or any other organization made up of any goverment or law officials. With that said, I suppose It wouldn't hurt to clarify my personal dislike for majority of those mentioned.

If I may offer such a notion - that may seem contradicting to everything in which I "suggested" prior to now - Even still, it goes to show that I have NOT swallowed any propaganda and in no way been taken for the ride in which " they " attempt to justify as " helping " the population or any such rubbish.

- To the point- ( I ) profit (in terms of currency) from the ignorance of the goverment and their refusal to admit that "some things" just aren't "dangerous" as they'd preceive them to the public. The halarious fact that they have had such difficulty in finding a legitimate way to tax "certain things"- which I believe is due to the inconsistant potency results that come from the "experimental" LEGAL CULTIVATION as they like to call it being "strictly scientific study and nothing more", of course...
Well, lets just say I take advantage of the situation and although I don't participate in the using, for reasons which you stated, which I unfortunately have to agree with, " What works for you may not work for me"..I do however have a closet that reeks a fine aroma of KB - in which I gladly offer to those in need- at a fair price of course. ;)

Originally posted by why
Hey Shane_Tweezy, sorry about the passive-agressive tone. Normally I am more diplomatic and considerate. I meant no offence - you are very much entitled to your own opinions no matter how much they differ with mine. Cheers.
:) You must have wrote this while I was in the process of writing my reply. There is No need for apology what-so-ever. No offence was taken on my part and in fact, I was actually quite impressed by your ability to disagree without hostility. Thats a rare finding in this day and age. To "argue" without arguing.. I say keep up the good work ;)

Glad were all back in each other's good books.

Indeed

This is a little off the subject ...auu...mostly i think ,, but am wondering how other ADD inatintive types like my self respond to meds.......OK.......So far i've found Aderall .......too mellowing and doesn't do any thing to sharpen my focus or create a mood so i'm truly interested and find myself drawn to what ever i'm doing .....Aderall dose seem to help me focus but still lack real interest most the time .......Also it makes me less social and creative in thought and action ......mostly the same for Metidate er ......
Concerta has worked very well not only creating a good mood with energy ,, good focus ,, creative and active thought ,, and a much more social person .......
What about you other inatentive types ??.....Rob.....auu.....Buby

Tried ritalan..Zoned me out big time... I was a walking zombie basically..

Adderall worked/works great for me. Attention,focus,motivation, etc.. Of course all Medications have their down sides.. With adderall I find I am very unsocial, but it doesn't bother me too much. I have always had social anxiety-but I used to atleast try to confront the problem, where-as now I avoid it.
My main concern with adderall is the long term effects that I'm afraid may cause health problems at some point. Also the fact that it is an addictive medication and in-which I have developed a mental and physical dependacy for. I don't abuse it, just can't go with out my dosage for even a day without feeling some major withdrawls.

I have always been inattentive, way before I even knew what ADD was!
I was never hyper, and shied away from anything that might make me hyper....
A clarifying question to this:
How many inattentive men out there have had struggled with anxiety attacks, debilitating anxiety, or just plain old anxiety?

john

As far as just plain old anxiety, yeah I can say I do suffer with that on the day to day basis. For me, most of my anxiety comes from the constant problems that present themselves for me due to ADHD, and not to mention my problem with doing things that involve the public / lots of people. Those things added together really seem to beat me up and most times cause a lot of unwanted anxiety and depression.

Never hyperactive.

I was always in a fog and very distracted. I would get a new interest or start a project, then never complete it. I am 45 years old and do not remember ADHD being diagnosed back then. But my guess now is that the boys who are ADHD are pretty obvious and the boys who are just ADD are considered "shy", "withdrawn", "daydreamers", dawdlers", "lazy", "unmotivated". etc. I think they don't even get referred to be evaluated because they generally do not bother anyone like the ADHD boys do.

As for pot, it seems to make ADD symptoms much worse (as does alcohol). Self medicating is a big problem with adult ADDers (especially those of us who were never diagnosed). But it may help for those with hyperactivity, I really do not know. But I am pretty sure that prison is not good for ADD. Getting busted now carries a lot heavier repercussions than it did back in the 70s. First because the laws are tougher now and second because I have much more to lose now (wife, kids, career).

It also interferes wit hthe awarness required for meditation.