:(I used to think 9/11 was the worst day in history, but I was wrong. As of 9/12/2009 mom will have been ripped from my life exactly one year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZ0CGHwoo6M

I just want to sleep through this entire September. It's really not that far away considering how fast the days r going. Maybe there is a drug that could put me in a comma for a month..wouldn't that be nice?:confused::cool::p:D

I once heard or read?? I forget.. well anyway.. it said * you cannot sedate..all the things you hate*.. seemed like something I wanted to write to answer your post.

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."
- Albus Dumbledore

Just remember, you are not alone.
So many have the same pain.

My big sister died in 2000 and I still can't believe she is gone!
She was only 48!! :-(

Draga, I just want to give you a big hug (((((hughughug)))))
I know your pain. I really really know your sadness too.
It will be a tough month, but hopefully there will be a few days you can be brave... a little bit brave.

I'm sorry to hear you are so blue.

I do hope someday you can change this coming calendar day to either be just like any other day, or maybe a day to celebrate the good things about your relationship with your mother.

In each instance of loss that I have experienced, I have been able to minimize the pain I put myself through each succeeding year over it, and supplant it with my best memories about that person.

I know I will lose everyone in my life that I care about whether they die first, or I do.
This is inevitable.
Rather than create some dark, depressing memory of that one particular day when they died, I spend the whole year conjuring up memories of them that remind me of their significance in my life.

I find I can laugh about them, appreciate any of their handiworks they left behind that I come across, even recall difficult times that I had with them.
All these things are not just part of who they were... but also who I am today. And for that... I can feel grateful.

My own mother is the most recent death I have dealt with in my circle of loved ones.
I spoke to her on a Sunday, but Tuesday she was rushed into the hospital, and by Friday my sister was calling me at work to ask how I felt about removing her from the respirator.

I cannot tell you the exact calendar day she died though.
That day is not important to me.
The fact that she is gone is important to me, just not the day.

Anyway, this thread is not about me... sorry...

I hope you can find some good memories to help you through this, because the worst thing I can think of concerning the death of a loved one... is to forget the whole person, to shunt them away from our daily lives, to feel only pain when they revisit our minds.

I hope you fare well

Anyway, this thread is not about me... sorry...


On the contrary, Mi casa es Su casa, Mi Amigo. I dont want to make any thread all about me, good to have ppl who respond who relate to what I am talking about and give not just me but anyone who reads this more positive ways of thinking..dat what dis place is for. thanks hon

September 12th came and went and I did the best thing I could think of doing:

Lit a white candle and put it in front of the collage of pictures taken of mom, almost made it through the day without having emotional breakdown which I should have when I was home alone, but when Paul and his niece and brother came over and there was NO privacy, how ironic that's when it all started to hit me @ once.

I do hold on to the good memories and still laugh at the antics and jokes that had mom cracking up...At least I will always have that...but it's weird even the most pleasant memories that just flash into my head leave me crying instead, like the one I had last night:

I was at a store that Paul's friend owns and just soon as they both get into talking "Geekanese" I cease to exist but I always have a book for just such an occasion, and in the midst of reading a book, the radio playing on the loud speaker started playing on of my mom's favorite songs that she loved to sing along to, Bette Midler's "The Rose" and the moment the song started playing I burst of tears..

For you mom:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6_s0QIbI94