So, I've been using a new "magic phrase" to get things done. It's simply:

"I give myself permission to: (fill in the blank)"

For some reason, I find that this helps me TREMENDOUSLY! Aside from staying on-task when doing something, one of the most difficult aspects of life I encounter is simply getting started on a task. By saying "I give myself persmission to...", for some odd reason, just makes anything I do completely easy!

For example, when I'm sitting in front of the washing machine, thinking about doing my laundry and having a hard time doing it (come on, I know you've all sat there for 15 minutes fighting with yourself to brush your teeth, do your laundry, or heck, just go to the bathroom while sitting at your computer and you can't unplug! lol), I simply say "I give myself permission to do my laundry". I suddenly realize that I'm completely capable of doing it, despite the arguments (or sometimes silence) in my mind...

Wow. It's like a magic door of wonderfulness opens and I can just coast right through. Who knew? Try it out and let me know what your results are :D

So, in practice:
1. Think about what you want to do (like "do the laundry")
2. Say out loud or in your head, "I give myself permission to..." (fill in the blank)
3. Enjoy your new-found power for getting things done! :D

Just to follow up...

I don't know why this works, but it does. I shared it with a non-ADD friend today and he LOVES it! He's putting it to work this week and we're going to share results when we meet up again. I don't know why it makes me feel better and feel more motivated, but it's working great so far! :D

Of course, I have to warn you that if you're not seeking methods of helping yourself do things, then it's just going to be empty words. If you're actually looking for ways to help yourself and are serious about it, I think that's what makes the difference. Otherwise you'll just run into our standard ADHD motivation problems, lol.

I think my magic word would be, "I dare me to...." iron some clothes!
I'll try that one out this week,as am daring myself to write this:)

I think it will work for some because it makes it more interesting,fun even.Like our compulsive tendancies to blurt things out through speech,through boredom and small talk...our minds will like the stimulation,I mean ;)

I think my magic word would be, "I dare me to...." iron some clothes!
I'll try that one out this week,as am daring myself to write this:)

I think it will work for some because it makes it more interesting,fun even.Like our compulsive tendancies to blurt things out through speech,through boredom and small talk...our minds will like the stimulation,I mean ;)

Hey, give it a try for a week and report back - I like that even better! More motivating, haha.

It's interesting how our motivation is controlled by our thoughts...a lot of times when I'm not motivated to do something, I push the thought of it out of my mind (dishes...push...ignore mode), but when I'm SUPER motivated about something, I allow myself to become preoccupied with it - it sits at the forefront of my brain 24/7 nonstop. It all boils down to thinking.

These Hobits are trixsy, I say...

Brings up the question,who or whom in controlling the thoughts...
I will give it ago,even if I try to counter act with a double dare.....no,not again, *flash-backs*

They are trixsy

Even more insane:

I wanted to rest a bit - but there were a couple of things to do (I think I was going to cook some pasta for a cold salad later that evening - grrr boring);
I said "ok I just don't care I'm just going to lie here for 30 min or so and watch TV".
Two minutes later I got up and went into the kitchen! I dont know if it will work if I do it consciously though.

Even more insane:

I wanted to rest a bit - but there were a couple of things to do (I think I was going to cook some pasta for a cold salad later that evening - grrr boring);
I said "ok I just don't care I'm just going to lie here for 30 min or so and watch TV".
Two minutes later I got up and went into the kitchen! I dont know if it will work if I do it consciously though.

Reverse psychology, brilliant :D We ALWAYS want to be doing something other than what we're currently doing, so maybe we just have to tell ourselves we should be doing something else (i.e. laying down and relaxing) and that ADD instinct will kick in and make us jump up and go do an avoidance behavior (making food in the kitchen) :D

Sometimes it can help me to think:

"Okay, I'm gonna do this or that for FIVE minutes, no more. If I'm doing really good, I can do another 5 minutes (I use a timer with a snooze function) but then I HAVE to leave it and do something else! If I wanna go back, I have to do this/that for 15 mins in between"

I've found that it's imperative that I have the desired projects written down before I start, and that it helps me to give myself choices along the way.

I.e. I have a "head assignment":
CLEAN UP CLUTTER IN LIVING ROOM 5-10 mins at the time.

- and some side assignments to choose from, when I take my 'breaks':
Fold laundry and put it in the cupboard
OR
do further sketching on one of three drawings
OR
make and drink a cup of instant coffee and make a point of relaxing + voluntary further planning.

The combo of providing myself with the illusion of well defined choices along the way and set the alarm EVERY TIME seems to help sometimes.
Oh - and I leave a paper a certain place so if an idea pops into my head, I write it down that second so not to forget it and go straight back to my 'game'.
I find that it helps to get it out of my head, it leaves room for focussing on my chosen tasks. And insisting that getting ridiculously little done is, in fact, WAY better than getting nothing done. Sometimes that one is hard.

Drawback is, it takes some planning in itself to do this, and I can't do it without getting stressed, partly because I get frazzled every time that alarm goes off.
I am searching for one that is less 'violent' to my ears but still insistent enough that it'll get through to me.
I also need a sure way of winding myself down after the raid, because it does stress me out. I'll be frantic, my heartrate goes up...I am running on adrenalines, I think, but it's what I have, so it'll have to do.

Only works very sporadically, but when it works it works, and that's something.
The "I give myself permission to..." in it's pure form does nothing for me, but when I kind of weave it in by presenting myself with "choices" how to spend my short "breaks", it sometimes works.

---

Sometimes I manage to make schedules for the week or for the next few days up to some kind of deadline (not the "commando raid schedules I refer to earlier in this post, I make a point of only doing those for a few hours at the time) ...and I've found that if an NT catches sight of one of these schedules, it totally stresses them out just looking at one, because they're so packed with info, but it's because I try to have EVERYTHING there, and very specific.
Like, an NT (like my dear careworker Susanne) would have me put down
"Laundry, wednesday"
...but I know that to stand the slightest chance of getting that done, I'll have to schedule specifics:


Order a time for washing at the laundromat.
Gather laundry from floors.
Search out soap, card for the laundromat, the small fabric bags for washing underwear.
Sort clothes by colours and temperature.
Put the sorted clothes into different bags.
Go to the laundromat, remember x, x and x...
When back with the laundry, fold it and place it in groups on the bed.
Place clean clothes in the cupboard.

All that goes without saying in her head.
I ought to do the same in mine, since I am supposed to be of average+ intelligence, but for some reason (I call it ADHD) I find that I can't trust my brain with that info by itself, so I write it down. It helps me. I like lists and I like narrow specifics, partly because they give me the opportunity to cross out stuff and insist to myself that they count more than nothing.

They do. :)

And because I live by myself, I don't have to defend this approach to anyone but myself. Also imperative to me, since I make it hard enough for me to respect myself. I don't need someone else doubting me, shaking their head over me, however lovingly, taking over, distracting me...I have more than enough trouble on my own. ;)

So, I've been using a new "magic phrase" to get things done. It's simply:

"I give myself permission to: (fill in the blank)"



Gonna try it, will let you know the results.

Just looked at a few of your other posts after the excellent one on overthinking. It seems a lot of them relate to organisational/ to-do systems which I'm looking forward to reading, as I've never managed to sustain one, much to my self-beration.

I will also respond to your latest post in the overthinking thread tomorrow, but it's 3:14 a.m. now, so gotta use your advice and GO TO BED!

I ought to do the same in mine, since I am supposed to be of average+ intelligence, but for some reason (I call it ADHD) I find that I can't trust my brain with that info by itself, so I write it down. It helps me. I like lists and I like narrow specifics, partly because they give me the opportunity to cross out stuff and insist to myself that they count more than nothing.

If I don't write stuff down, it's gone. Just gone. It's the same as deleting a file on my computer - never existed! I always carry a notebook or notecard around with me to capture thoughts, because if I don't, those good ideas are gone forever :p

Gonna try it, will let you know the results.

Just looked at a few of your other posts after the excellent one on overthinking. It seems a lot of them relate to organisational/ to-do systems which I'm looking forward to reading, as I've never managed to sustain one, much to my self-beration.

I will also respond to your latest post in the overthinking thread tomorrow, but it's 3:14 a.m. now, so gotta use your advice and GO TO BED!

I think the key is simply finding a system that works for you, because everyone is different and responds to things differently. I really like the Getting Things Done system, but I also have a hard time sticking with it - sometimes I'm great with it, sometimes I struggle with it. I dunno, I think it's just part of having ADHD - we have a hard time sticking with stuff!

I think that one key is having a structure environment. By structured, I mean cut down on distractions with your tools in easy reaching distance. Mainly, you have to make it convenient for yourself, or it will be harder to do when you don't feel like doing it. Like, if you want to learn to play the guitar, then keep it on a stand next to your desk instead of hidden away in a case somewhere where you have to dig to get it out.

I think it's kind of the same way with organizational systems...if you can make it convenient and readily-available, then when you walk by you'll just kind of fall into place like a glove. I spend a lot of time on my computer because it's so convenient...sit down & surf, no energy required!

I think my magic word would be, "I dare me to...." iron some clothes!
I'll try that one out this week,as am daring myself to write this:)

I think it will work for some because it makes it more interesting,fun even.Like our compulsive tendancies to blurt things out through speech,through boredom and small talk...our minds will like the stimulation,I mean ;)

WOW! I -just- tried this - and OMG!!
Somehow it tapped into my inner delinquent and I found myself saying it to myself with total attitude. "I -dare- you to.........."
"Yeah, I can do it! Just watch me!":cool:

and then from nowhere.........
"Take that you Martha Stewart wannabe b!tches"
OMG:eek::eek::eek::eek::D

Ok ...gotta go finish! I dare me to get that dishwasher loaded...and hit the sack - cos I gotta be fresh tomorrow"
(the "gotta" and "cos" is part of the attitude it seems - I think I`ve just had a Grease makeover:p)

WOW! I -just- tried this - and OMG!!
Somehow it tapped into my inner delinquent and I found myself saying it to myself with total attitude. "I -dare- you to.........."
"Yeah, I can do it! Just watch me!":cool:

"Inner delinquent" LOL :D

since my last post 25 minutes ago,I have finished loading the dishwasher, scrubbed out the sink, thrown out garbage, wiped the kitchen floor and swept the living room:eek:
I have discovered a deep-seated antipathy to the Miss Know-it-all Smarty pants always perfect type of women while doing it though:D

since my last post 25 minutes ago,I have finished loading the dishwasher, scrubbed out the sink, thrown out garbage, wiped the kitchen floor and swept the living room:eek:
I have discovered a deep-seated antipathy to the Miss Know-it-all Smarty pants always perfect type of women while doing it though:D

I also like the "I dare myself to..." phrase as well, it's more fun :p

The phrase that worked for me yesterday was 'one room at a time.' I usually end up starting in one room, continuing in another, and finishing in neither.

So by repeating 'one room at a time' I kept returning to the room I was cleaning, even if I left for a moment or two. This left me with two clean rooms (kitchen, bathroom) and three messy rooms, but this is better than the 5 messy rooms which have been bothering me for a couple weeks.

I find it usually helps to force myself to do something. There's always the voice in the back of my head saying 'I don't wanna', but if I answer that voice in the strictest voice I can summon, and say 'you HAVE to, you have no choice', I resign myself to doing it and then hyperfocus kicks in and all is well.

So basically I need to boss myself around. I have to make the bed RIGHT THIS SECOND!

Hmm the 'vernacular' version works better for me:

"***** it, I'm going to: (fill in the blank)" ;)

So, I've been using a new "magic phrase" to get things done. It's simply:

"I give myself permission to: (fill in the blank)"

For some reason, I find that this helps me TREMENDOUSLY! Aside from staying on-task when doing something, one of the most difficult aspects of life I encounter is simply getting started on a task. By saying "I give myself persmission to...", for some odd reason, just makes anything I do completely easy!

The phrase that worked for me yesterday was 'one room at a time.' I usually end up starting in one room, continuing in another, and finishing in neither.

So by repeating 'one room at a time' I kept returning to the room I was cleaning, even if I left for a moment or two. This left me with two clean rooms (kitchen, bathroom) and three messy rooms, but this is better than the 5 messy rooms which have been bothering me for a couple weeks.

I find it usually helps to force myself to do something. There's always the voice in the back of my head saying 'I don't wanna', but if I answer that voice in the strictest voice I can summon, and say 'you HAVE to, you have no choice', I resign myself to doing it and then hyperfocus kicks in and all is well.

So basically I need to boss myself around. I have to make the bed RIGHT THIS SECOND!

Yeah, breaking it down like that works really well for me too. And I DO often have to force myself to get started. Once I get started, I can get on a roll, but getting started is reaaaaaaaly hard sometimes!

I think it boils down to both impatience and instant gratification: I want to match my environment or my knowledge to what I'm seeing in my head. If I have 5 messy rooms and I'm imagining a clean house, my brain wants to get from point A to point B instantaneously. I run around each of the rooms grabbing one or two things at a time, feeling completely overwhelmed and hopeless. But when I attack it one room at a time, and break it down into small chunks: trash, laundry, dishes, and stuff to put away, and then force myself to get started on JUST the trash in ONE room, then I can usually get flowing pretty easily.

But it's hard to do that! I used to think that the core problem was that I just couldn't do stuff right like that, but now I realize it's simply impatience: I want it done the way it is in my head, in a very fast manner, and that's simply not how it works. And I can overcome that impatience by simply forcing myself to get started on a small chunk. Or like in that Bill Murray movie, baby steps. Haha. Also I don't think it's really impatience for instant gratification, but more excitement - I really really really want to match up the vision in my head with the reality I see before me, and so my ADD kicks in with my bad habits of not approaching things in an organized, baby-step manner, but instead tries to react to everything, instantly, and that just leaves me feeling like a mess inside my head haha.

I want it done the way it is in my head, in a very fast manner, and that's simply not how it works.

Yep. And I always underestimate how long something will take, too. I think it will take a half hour to clean the kitchen, but then it takes two hours. I think it will take 20 minutes to get ready, and 50 minutes later I'm ready, but surprise - I started getting ready 20 minutes before I had to leave, so now I'm 30 minutes late...

Yep. And I always underestimate how long something will take, too. I think it will take a half hour to clean the kitchen, but then it takes two hours. I think it will take 20 minutes to get ready, and 50 minutes later I'm ready, but surprise - I started getting ready 20 minutes before I had to leave, so now I'm 30 minutes late...

This simply confirms my suspicions that ADD causes rips in the space-time continuum.

This got me out of bed and off to work today.

Thanks for the excellent strategy.

PS: I thought of another one just now that I used on myself inadvertently, "It's not that hard to ..."

Yep. And I always underestimate how long something will take, too. I think it will take a half hour to clean the kitchen, but then it takes two hours. I think it will take 20 minutes to get ready, and 50 minutes later I'm ready, but surprise - I started getting ready 20 minutes before I had to leave, so now I'm 30 minutes late...

Yeah I'm the exact same way...I'm pretty sure it's the hyper-focus grabbing hold of my OCD attention to detail - so anything that would take a non-ADHD person X amount of time, I end up spending 10x that amount of time because every detail has to be perfect.

PS: I thought of another one just now that I used on myself inadvertently, "It's not that hard to ..."

Oh, this would never work for me. Because if I think 'It's not that hard to...' then I figure, OK then, I'll do it in five minutes from now if it's not that hard. :D And of course 5 turns into 25...

Yeah, once I hyperfocus I spend a lot of time focusing on the details that I've been ignoring for months...like I have a cookie jar on my counter that I haven't touched in three months, but when I hyperfocused on the kitchen recently I actually dusted it.