My son is 7 and seems to just NOT see that there are other people in the world but himself . If he hits a kid it was there fault cause they just wouldnt listen, if he gets in trouble it is so and so's fault.... he works sooo hard about waiting for his turn to speak he dosent listen to anything else.
He has been taken out of Soccer practice and games cause the other kids wernt passing him the ball (even though he had it the whole time) and so he Argues with anyone and everyone that says diffrent then him...
He argues and then goes in his room and says really scary things behind the closed door--

I want him to understand not everyone is out to get him and he needs to relax and not worry about everyone else just himself...

this seems to be the hardest thing for him to get

My son is 7 and also has to have EVERYTHING fair. We were playing with a bat and ball and someone went before he was ready. He stood there screaming because he wasn't ready!! instead of just having fun. Haven't quite figured out what to do about that yet, just wanted you to know
:) YOUR NOT ALONE:)

My son is 14 and this is still a constant issue. I think it has to do with all the failures he has had to live with. He just can't cope with always being the one to goof up, so he automatically has to make it someone else's fault. For example, if he flunks a test it's the teachers fault not that he never opened the book.

I also have to remind myself that he really perceives the world differently. He doesn't notice how "long" it's been his turn, or how "often". Usually, when I help him to think it through he'll calm down.

I also have to admit that at 46 I'm the same, just better controlled, and that he will develop the maturity and coping mechanisms over time. Practice makes perfect.

Kim

If the "everyone else's fault but mine" attitude is causing a lot of trouble, you might want to ask his doc whether ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) might be involved. ODD often occurs with ADHD, and can be very frustrating for everyone concerned. Fortunately, there are tactics you can learn to help manage it.

http://www.klis.com/chandler/pamphlet/oddcd/about.htm

Neither of my two boys (age 8 and 4) are ADHD, but their best friend (age 7), whom I babysit a lot, is. So I'm really an amatuer twice removed here -not a Doctor, not even an ADD parent.
First, I would like to assure you that this behaviour will appear at least sometimes in EVERY child. My 8 year old cried a LOT last soccer season because he 1)didn't get a single goal, and 2)nobody passed him the ball. (Sound familiar?) Of course, it wasn't his fault that he spent a lot of time just standing on the field not going after the ball, or that he cried everytime he fell down or got hit with the ball!
ALL kids indulge in a lot of what I call "magical thinking". "Practice makes perfect" and "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again" doesn't sink in with most kids until puberty apparently! Example: Ask my 8 yr. old what he wants to be when he grows up and he'll say "A cowboy". But ask him if he wants to go exercise his pony and he'll say "Not now, later". I guess his fairy godmother is going to sprinkle pixie dust on him and teach him to rein.
With his ADHD friend, it's the same thing, just a more extreme. I think the kids FEEL the same way, it's just with ADHD in the picture, you get less impulse control, and less empathy with others to moderate the ACTIONS. And I remember being a kid- Everything MATTERS so much!
I have a couple of things I use with the ADD child I sit:
1) I do a LOT of explicitly walking through consequence chains. I ask questions like "If you do/say this, what do you think he will do?" (Choosing an action IS choosing its consequences.) "What do you want to happen? What could you do to make that happen?" (If you desire an action, you better be prepared to do what it takes to cause it). And one of my favorites when they drag their feet (especially on stuff like asking another child to do something) is "And what is the WORST thing that can happen? What could you do if that does happen?" 2) Pretend to be Miss Frizzle on the Magic School Bus. Remember her motto: "Get messy, make mistakes!" Make sure your child has as many chances as possible to understand that only by trying and making mistakes can we learn. The more practice kids have in making "desirable" mistakes the less they agonize over the others. Design three bridges (construction projects are a big hit at my house) and see which one holds the most weight. You have 2 mistakes (2 bridges "tested to destruction") imbedded in the successful experiment.
3) Provide LOTS of positive feedback everytime they admit a mistake. Just like you teach a 2 yr. old to say please by remembering to say please EVERY time to them, remember to thank them everytime they tell you about a mistake. Little stuff that happens a lot can add up to a lot of positive feedback: spilling a drink, leaving the water running in the sink, tracking in dirt, forgetting to put their bicycle away, etc. Pick a few things that are NOT your pet peeves to use as praise rewards. If telling you he tracked mud in the kitchen elicits "Oh, thanks for telling me, I better sweep it up." instead of punishment, he'll be more willing to fess up instead of blaming "Mr. Nobody" (or baby brother).
Good luck!

My son is 9 yrs old and has "everyone's fault but mine" syndrome since about 7 or 8 yrs old. I can't stand when he does it especially when I see him do something with my own eyes AND he SEES me see him do it! "It's not my fault I forgot my homework, my friend didn't check my book" , "It's not my fault I hit him, he didn't let me have my card back" I get so tired....

I just took him to his new therapist yesterday and told him about it. He shows no personal responsibilty and that scares me. It can only lead to worse things so I am hoping to get some ideas from the therapist.

Let me know how it goes cause my child it is the SAME thing