05-11-04, 09:41 AM
looking for any pointers...
I myself do not believe i'm add but this girl I met is.
Anyway, I'm looking for any tips to not drive her crazy or bore her.
I know everyone is different so please don't tell me that...just give me some tips ladies!
05-11-04, 12:07 PM
Here are my thoughts . . .
Accept her for who she is and don't try to changer her. be honest, kind, loving and forgiving to her when she has an ADD "moment". Communicate about everything so that you are "on the same page" . Be an an encourager and comforter. Don't try to guilt trip her into anything. Listen to her - if she's a talker like me that may take quite a bit of time :)
Something I tell my kids... You don't have to be perfect. If you make a mistake or hurt someone, you need to make it right, say I'm sorry , ask for forgiveness and then correct the wrong.
I have been happily married to my wonderful non-add dear husband for 21 years now. :) He's been the best for me. :)
that's my two bit
05-11-04, 12:14 PM
well thanks...the only thing i'm kind of worried abotu is that she associates a nuturer/caring person with a fatherly role..i assume her father was very protective...so...it almost feels like she's not looking for a supportive person but a more of a whatever person...cause this father association has a negative impact for her.
Ha! then take her skydiving or something. Trust her, don't baby her. I think trust is the critical part of the nuturing thing that ADDer's appreciate. When she trusts you and looks like she needs support, give it to her. Be careful not to smother her but be careful to compliment and encourage her whenever possible. And no BS-ing, only legitimate compliments. Look for her amazing qualities and appreciate those.
And don't be shocked if she's very blunt with you. It's just honesty.
05-11-04, 10:22 PM
thanks for the post...
This is the first person i've ever been with that to my knowledge has adhd...and ya know what...i'm kinda addicted.
I hope that's not too strange...
I've always been the person to remind the driver the lights red...
it's not hat i don't trust...i'm just being helpful...
so i'll try and remember to ease up on my own issues in general around her...
welp wish me luk and thanks
05-12-04, 10:12 AM
Your addicted lol. I read that last post to my husband and he said "join the crowd". While I can irritate him to no end I also make his
'life interesting and based on the more important thing's. Bill's are alway's gonna be there but our kid's won't alway's be here". He say's if "done properly you can be her anchor and she can be your wing's". Work's for us, we've been married almost 9 year's the end of this month maybe it'll work for you. Good luck.
05-12-04, 10:13 AM
:o whoops hubby just corrected me. Make that 10 year's this June 30th. My bad:o