Me and Mom have a good relationship...we are like best friends but with one Little problem from me... I am terrfied to tell her the truth. Afraid that she will judge me like she has before when I got pregnant...but I know that she was worried that I screwed up my life. I always feel limt.She always considers me the baby.,...even at 27...that is even how she refers to me..I feel like she does not trust my decisions...and always she is correcting me on how I clean or cook...but the simple fact is...I have my way of doing things and she has hers....I still feel like she thinks of me as a kid.

Tonight....instead of just going for a walk like I told her I was...I went to a man's House that I know she detest...but I think she don't realize situations different between us and every time she knew I was with him she would Yell at me....so I just did not want to tell her and was afraid to call home when I was with him...When I got home we did have a fight but not cause I was with him....but because I could not tell her the truth...she told me that I am an adult and I can choose to see whoever I feel like...JUST DON'T LIE ABOUT IT!!!! Can't understand why I find it soo hard to open up to strangers about my deapest feeling and not my own mother who I consider now my best friend..cause I realize she is a wonderful mother and I appreciate her dearly...still with all my admiration to her..I am still afraid to tell her the truth. She even Knows when I am lying...Never under estimate the Power of a Mother...I tell ya that much. Mothers ROCK!

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With that being said, I should not be so afraid...DARNET she is right...I am an adult...I know it is wrong to Lie...so why do I feel the need to...fear of what she will think? Fear of her Yelling? Wanting of her approval of me? I just can not understand ME and WHY do I the things I do...Can handle if it affects me Only...that I can accept...but when involves the Mother of all Mothers.

You got THAT right, Melly. Never under estimate the power of Mothers & yes we DO rock. LOL

And... don't under estimate your mom.... she is strong and can take the truth. And remember.. we love our children unconditionally.

Love ya, Melly

Mel, It is cool you can talk about it.
It is also cool that your mother can tell when you're lying.
My mother believed me. I didn't know that for sure always when I was a kid. But later on through our talks it was apparent she believed me. One time a told this outrageous lie about some girl trying to start a fight at the bus stop and she scared me right out of my slippers, and then the tita(hawaiian word for a girl bully) Took my slippers and ran off with them. That whole story was made up on the spur of the moment to explain the loss of my slippers. Because I actually went surfing that day instead of school, and had a bad wipe out that smashed up a friends board and myself, cracked ribs. And I plain ol' forgot my slippers on the beach.
Anyway, I knew she believed because she exitedly told her friend on the phone about the girl picking on me at the bus stop.

When I told the truth she usually didn't believe me. It wasn't good!
I used to go away for 2 days off in a forest 50 miles away that bordered a beach, where I could wander alone and swim and write poems to my greatest love of all-The ocean. She never found out or checked to see if I was really at a friends.

She later told me that deep down for some reason she always knew I was alright. My sister on the otherhand who is 7 years younger was checked up on.

So far it seems I can always tell when my son is lying. He can't stand it. He just isn't a good liar most of the time. He tries to sneak by with something in his shirt . When he has cobwebs in his hair I know he snuck in the garage. I never tell him my secrets. Just reply that Mothers know a little magic. He likes that. He does get to have secrets. And I let him. He hides things in the forest. Then he takes me for a nature walk and I discover stuff stashed not good enough, that he forgot, or hoped I wouldn't see it is so funny.

Hugs Vickie and Janine.

J9...wesa need to get together and learn me dem secrets of de mom....Not so I could Lie to my Mother....but to prep me if I ever have kids...I can easily read a male...but if I have a daughter that is just like me....Whoa am I going to have to be on my toes!

Originally posted by Jellybean
Mel, It is cool you can talk about it.
It is also cool that your mother can tell when you're lying.
My mother believed me. I didn't know that for sure always when I was a kid. But later on through our talks it was apparent she believed me. One time a told this outrageous lie about some girl trying to start a fight at the bus stop and she scared me right out of my slippers, and then the tita(hawaiian word for a girl bully) Took my slippers and ran off with them. That whole story was made up on the spur of the moment to explain the loss of my slippers. Because I actually went surfing that day instead of school, and had a bad wipe out that smashed up a friends board and myself, cracked ribs. And I plain ol' forgot my slippers on the beach.

I'm sorry for laughing, JB, but this sounds like a storyline from Lilo and Stitch! (Now a series on the Disney channel.) :D It's a great story.

And Mel, I understand the urge to lie to your mom and avoid being judged .... but I'm not surprised that she wasn't fooled, either. She sensed a disturbance in The Force...

Hmmm so that is how she knows....reminds me of Yoda sometimes she does mmmm! :D

Tell her that not, or hit you she might. :D

"I can easily read a male" ~

E-boy just shakes his head. Tsk, tsk. I swear if I keep getting hit by these stereo type/generality trucks it's gonna get so's I can't walk no more!

Laugh butt off I do @krisp!

E-boy I appologize if what I said came out wrong...but I assure u I did not mean for it to come out that way. I really meant the men in my life...ugh I need to up my meds!!!!

Hugsss Melly! I for one knew what you meant, but of course.... we think alike us two.

Hi,

I read your post and could identify with some of the things you said. Even though I didn't like to admit it, most of my life my mother had me wrapped around her little finger. Her word was like Bible word. I can't say that I felt like I had to lie to her, but there were always things I was afraid she wouldn't approve of.

I was always in need of my mother's praise and approval. Maybe because it was so hard to attain. Then something happened in my life that was major and I saw something that shocked me. I saw that my mother was not so perfect. I finally saw her as the flawed human being that she is. I finally realized that she is the way she is and no one or anything can change that but her. I had to be let down greatly by her to realize that I DID NOT need her approval, that maybe sometimes she can be wrong, dead wrong. I found out that I have to rely on myself and God to discern what is right for me.

True freedom came slowly and painfully for me but the one thing that really set me free was to start to separate myself from her. To have my own ideas and my own choices and that they may not necessarily be her choices but that is OK. I don't feel the need to tell her everything anymore either. I don't feel the need to pour out my soul to her. I now realize that no matter what I say or do, she will always be who she is and will react the same way to certain things. Knowing this, I make choices what to tell her and what not to because I know what her reaction will be. Do I need or want her reaction? Depends on the situation. It is my choice and always has been. I am old enough now to know what choices will be of harm to me and what choices will be positive ones in my life.

There was a time when I wasn't old enough or mature enough to make all the right choices in my life and I depended on her whether she was wrong or right. I think because of the ADD and all of my insecurities I tended to need her more then I should have.

Finally, when I was in my early 20's and she totally let me down at a crucial point in my life, I could see that she didn't know everything and that she isn't right all the time. That was when I started separating myself from her, but it wasn't until many years later that I could finally just let go. Once I did that, I stopped feeling intimidated by her. Now she is at a point in her life that she "needs me". Sometimes I see in her the very instabilities and insecurites I have in myself. Gee, I wonder where they came from to begin with? They were there all along and it just took my growing up to see it in her.

Your mother may never change. She may be right about things or she may be totally wrong, but it is your decision to know that difference. You know how she'll react to things. You don't have to lie. You just have to be strong enough to walk away when you don't want to here the same thing over and over again. You know what the response will be, so don't walk into it.

The more you separate yourself from her in the areas that you need to, the freer you will feel and you will have no need or desire to lie. Are there others in your life that have good judgement that you can seek advice from? It never hurts to get advice from trusted others in your life if you are not sure your are making a good choice in your life.

Once you start to let go, at least a little bit, you will see a big difference in yourself and maybe even your Mom too in how she see you.

Sorry so long. I hope something I may have said may help. I just couldn't help but respond because I know how you feel. Dee

Oh, my aching "Y" chromosome! ;-)