View Full Version : 11yr old son, help and advice

09-27-09, 09:49 PM
hello, this is my 1st post, and i really do need some advice/help.

my son is 11yrs old, i don't know where to start, so, i'll just write and hope it makes sense.
my son, in my eyes has something 'different' about him, he's not aggressive, but he is always on the go, cannot concentrate, constantly flicks channels on the t.v, and always needs reminding to do simple tasks e.g. wash his hands, go to the toilet, brush teeth, change his clothes, you may be thinking, this is 'normal' boy behaviour, but he just doesn't seem to think about everday things for himself.

he cannot tie shoelaces yet, is still clumsy with a knife and fork, i ask him to go fetch items from another room, and he'll either come back and not remember what i asked him to do, or he'll go, and start doing something else. he has just started secondary school, and already he's lost items, forgets homework, goes to lessons and stands by the rooms, on two occasions not even realising it was break time, and not lesson time. last week, he walked out of school 40 minutes early, thinking it was home time and just walked in the house oblivious to the time. he sometimes muddles his words, saying he's 'hot' when he means 'cold' and other examples like ... he'll say 'dark' when he means 'light', this isn't all the time, but sometimes.

he gets off to sleep ok, but will be up a couple of times in the night, to use the bathroom, and will often wander downstairs. he has never had a lie-in in his life, and is always the 1st one up, and usually at about 6am, earlier in the summer, and he'll want to be doing something from the minute he's awake, he rarely watches a whole tv programme through with out getting bored or fidgetting,he constantly flicks channels if you let him, i can't get him to read books, he doesn't have the attention span for them.

i guess the one thing he would do all day is football if he could, anything that keeps him on the go. he's always been like this, only as a tiny baby was he relaxed and so chilled out it was like not having a baby, because he would just be so relaxed and quiet.

don't get me wrong, it may sound like i'm moaning, but, i love my son to bits, and he is the sweetest most loving boy you could ever meet. i'm just concerned because seems like a coiled spring always wanting to be doing something, and not able to concentrate or focus.

i want to go to my doctor about it, but fear he will just dismiss my worries as just me being an anxious mother, and tell me my son is just 'being a typical 11yr old'

09-27-09, 10:50 PM
Sounds like he's got ADHD to me. Go see a pediatrician.

Sounds like he's also got Dysnomia ( too.

09-27-09, 11:11 PM
:):) hi, thanks, the more things i read on this site, the more convinced i am that my son has A.D.D or something. i don't know if this is 'normal' for want of a better word, but, if my son is playing football, he will play for hours, or if it's singing to music, he'll do that for ages too, but anything else, no, the attention span is non existent.

i will call my gp in the morning, and start the ball rolling.

09-28-09, 01:02 AM
This is just my opinion, but before you think about meds, I would suggest trying a couple other options first. There are sites out their I have seen about helping your child naturally. I think its worth a try, for this could be a lifelong decision. It might help for the better, and I hope it does. I just worry about kids being on this drug. I think if you tried it, you might think differently. Its none of my business, and am honestly just thinking about your son. I have a nine yr old and a 2 yr old...both have made me question. After being diagnosed with ADD myself, and taking the medicine I have heard about all these years, I really was curious as to why they would give it to so many kids. Some do need it; I guess the question is how many. Even though it doesn't affect a child with ADD the same way it would a non add child, it still is a dangerous drug. A drug that is easily habit forming and also has other effects with long time use. Muscle pain, ticks, headaches, stomachaches, constipation, not to mention a dependence. Like feeling that you can't do well in school or life without it, and second-guessing yourself. The benefits could outweigh the risks, though. I wonder if I could have achieved more in high school if I would have realized my add. You will just have to weigh it all, but I don't think it is a light decision. I wish there was a forum for people who grew up on these meds, and how they feel about being put on it now that there older. I think discussing issues with your son, and listening to his concerns about it are important. Which I'm sure you would; we moms just want our children to have their best life.
It sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders, so he'll probably do well.
I just thought about the football thing...if he does end up on a med and still plays alot of football, make sure he's hydrated, and if he stops playing football over time, that wouldn't be a good sign either.
I so don't want you to think I'm prying, I guess I have alot of thoughts about kids on meds just because of my experience.
Thanks, and I really hope your son has the best life possible.

09-28-09, 01:51 AM
The medications are perfectly fine. Just give them a go, and if they don't work, quit.

09-28-09, 03:34 AM
hi, to be honest, i haven't even given the medication side of things a thought. all i would like is for the doctor to give me a yes or a no about my son's behaviour, because everything i read, and others' posts about their children sound like reading about my son.

Trooper Keith
09-28-09, 05:02 AM
I rarely say this, but it sounds like ADHD to me. See a psychiatrist.

09-28-09, 07:48 AM
hi, it's different here in the uk, i will have to see our gp first, and see if they refer me to other doctors, like psychologists, or psychiatrists.


09-30-09, 01:05 PM
In the UK, it is very difficult to get an ADHD diagnosis. Even if you do get an ADHD diagnosis there are other things to try before trying meds. Mainly behavioral modification. Plus, just learning about ADHD will allow you to understand your sons behaviors and deal with them more effectively.

Oh, and ADHD kids can concentrate for hours on things that stimulate them the right way; video games, TV, football, etc. However, they cant concentrate on non-stimulating activities; math homework, writing, reading boring passages for content, etc.

Good luck.