I have searched and searched the internet trying to find information about this topic and haven't found a whole lot. It's hard to find something so specific or even how to search such a thing really. I have also searched this site haven't found much either, a glimmer but that's it.

I have had some great success w/motivation, energy, focus, compulsive thoughts, anxiety, an overall "calmness" in my head, joy, and honestly it was/is such a combined effect of not just adhd but mood stabilization, not to mention it got rid of my migraines, and other issues it's hard to explain. So much so I didn't know how bad I felt until I felt how good it felt to feel good lol.

However, there were issues I became tolerant and then there was improper titration, crazy mixed states (something I never had in my life), then I was given a bunch of other meds to try and "balance me out" because of a misdiagnosis, (my old dr said I was bipolar, and my current dr believes and I agree that I am not bipolar but borderline, but that’s a whole other story). And it all went in the crapper.
And so I'm starting over again and I have yet to have the same positive original experience again and it's beyond disheartening, there are no words to express how I feel about all of this mess.

I am still having positives but not like before, the motivation, desire, energy, is all gone and it's so depressing. I feel like a lump on a log a parasite, and I know it's the ADHD, I use to think it was the depression, but not anymore.
It's hard to miss what you never had, but once you have it and it's taken away it's like a death and it's just gut wrenching.

I am afraid even my current dr doesn’t know much about Topamax. I know it's original use is for seizures so it's an off label use as a mood stabilizer so it's not really surprising that psych's would be in the dark about it, and yet the still RX as if they know what they are doing, so as their patient you have faith in them or you should have faith in them. I know w/the brain it's all a crap shoot, because human beings are complicated, I've just been through the ringer.

So far from what I’ve read the dosage should be raised slowly and I am concerned that my psych(s) don't truly understand how serious this is, besides the fact that I am very sensitive to medications. I have been taking Topamax for over three months but because of all the chaos w/the surrounding issues I have not found the right dose for me yet.
I am wondering if a neurologist would know anymore about this than my psych or do they only know about Topamax and how it relates to seizures?
I feel so lost and frustrated. I feel like there's a possible answer in there somewhere. I mean it obviously triggered something in my brain.

Even if you don’t have any personal experience w/this but have any info about it Id love to know about it.