My almost 8 year old son is finishing the second grade. Good grades, bad behavior, although he is on meds. His medicine (strattera and adderall) was just upped a month ago and already he is in big trouble at school. We do not have bad behavior at home, only at school. His grades are good.

He burps, laughs, chuckles and uses inappropriate words, much to his delight. He has had four detentions and two in school suspensions becuase of his behavior. Today when I went to pick him up his teacher showed me his beautiful stick figure drawings of people "pooping." He was sent to the kindergarten room.

It can't be time to up medicine already!!! Plus he does not misbehave in this way at home, maybe a little, but not like at school where he has an audience. Is this normal? I don't think so because I don't see the other kids getting into this much trouble.

I don't like to pick him up from school and I never know what is going to confront me. In addition, I feel guilty for punishing the crimes when I know he is ADHD, but, on the otherhand maybe this has nothing to do with that and he needs punishment. He has been grounded for the weekend from friends, tv etc. Won't that be fun for the rest of us!!!?!

Thanks for listening to me ramble.

Vanessa

Punishing the child sometimes punishes yourself instead. Anyway there must be something eles going on at school for him to act out that way . You should ask to sit in on his class so you can see his behavior . Maybe just do it ever so often to surprise him and maybe just maybe he will start to straighten up thinking you might show up that day.

Is your son in counsling at all ? If so what does the counslour think?

Have you thought about maybe putting him on something eles if these meds arent working?

The medication wont make your child behave what it does is slow down there brain to let them realize what there about to do is right or wrong then its up to them to choose it . My son is aware of that and he realizes Im more likely going to take him out if he behaves at home and school . So he gets small rewards like going with me or having pizza one night . The biggest thing was yesterday I threw him his first b-day party . I was hap[py to since he brought up his grades and wasnt getting into trouble all the time.

I can so relate to your situation! My8 yr old son is the exact same way!

I obviously don't know the whole situation but I wonder if upping the meds might have made things worse? More is not always better. It sounds to me like he is behaving this way to get attention and to purposely get a rise out of the teacher - the more he/she reacts the better he likes it. I wonder how he would behave if you were in the classroom visiting?
With regards to punishment, I have read that with ADHD kids, positive reinforcement is more effective - i.e. We'll do something you like this afternoon if you behave in class today. Vs. punishing the bad behaviour. Of course, I don't have children, so that's easy for me to say.
Good luck,
Greg

Thanks everyone for your replies. As it turned out I didn't punish him at all. I called a friend (her son has problems too and is in the same class) and we talked.

I also decided that a lot of the blame goes to his teacher. She just won't give an inch to any kid in the class. She could have torn up the picture and told him to go and draw something else, instead she took him to kindergarten, displayed the picture to all the kids and embaressed him. He had to stay in kindergarten and then off to preschool until lunch.

I am in his class every week, so he knows I am watching. Next year I am going to be watching like a hawk! We had a great teacher in kindergarten and first grade (he wasn't on meds then) and a not so good one for second grade (on meds and in more trouble than ever!).

This summer we are going to lower his dosage until he is off the meds and just start looking at his unique energy in a much more loving way.

Vanessa 3 More days of School!!!!!

My daughter was having the same problems but it was bad at home too, she threw a pencil at me and smacked her 2 1/2 yr old brother across the face!!!!! Anyway the doc took her off the meds for the weekend and then we put her back on them monday morning she was a changed girl. She said that sometimes when you give the brain a "break" from the meds and then you put them back on them the brain forgets about the "bad" side effects. Talk to your doctor he/she is the biggest help i have found.
Robin

Wow! He doesn't sound like he is being a mean kid, or even really BAD. Just.... Exuberant. Often ADDers have little issues with fear of consequences, and impulsive behavior. Impulsive behavior is hard enough to curb with meds, when the consequences are significant to the child. However, medication will not invoke a healthy fear of consequences in a child where none existed before.

I am not saying you should terrorize your child. Lord no! ADDer are also sensitive to a degree that a tactic like that would likely traumatize him perhaps severely. I am simply observing, that he likely gets a sort of hero status from his peers from utilizing his "gift" of fearlessness to face the "teacher from hell" that takes crap from no one. As you have noted he has no trouble whatsoever entertaining himself, even "on restriction". He is, rest assured getting a benefit from the behavior. Children are not stupid. More than likely it is a social benefit because ADDers in particular are born pleasers, and are particularly concerned about their peer groups (his classmates).

I don't believe this is necessarily a side effect of medication. I would certainly discuss it with your doctor and get his/her take on the matter. It is actually quite common for children to be undermedicated these days, as the common practice is still to treat to first positive response and then leave the dose where it is at. A federally funded study with a deceptively simple acronym, which for the moment escapes me, showed this conclusively in the late nineties. As much as fifty percent of the potential benefit of medication is never realized because medication doses don't get "tuned" to the patient. Oh, I remember the study! It was the "MTA" You can read about it on the NIMH (Nation Institute of Mental Health) site, which you can find on the fedworld.gov site search engine (Hope you don't mind me listing a government website BIG).

In anycase, if it isn't a medication side effect, it is more than likely a case of having an extremely smart, and ununsually mature (in some ways) son who is willing to make some very adult trade offs. Unpleasant punishments, for status and approval he craves among his peers. I think about the only thing you can do about this is make the trade off less worthwhile to him. Which means finding the priviledges and interests that are especially meaningful to him, other than being the sole fly in the ointment to the "mean old ogre of a teacher" thus becoming the class hero, and making it clear to him those priviledges are entirely contigent on his behavior in school.

You can of course try discussing this with him too. I would make sure you had established what the more important "stuff" was to him first, as he is obviously an extremely smart kid, and might well "catch on" a little too quick if you let the cat out of the bag unprepared. The last thing you need in this situation is him learning to play the "briar rabbit" game.

If I sound cynical, or mean I certainly hope you don't really think so. I have five children of my own. Only one of whom do I believe is ADD (she lives with my ex-wife, and I am in the process of attempting to determine if she has been screened for ADD, as I have it and she certainly has the symptomology), but all of whom have continuously suprised me with their intelligence, and inventiveness when it comes to both doing the things they are supposed to do, and the things they are not supposed to do. This is one instance, where my ADD has allowed me to stay one step ahead. THANK GOD! ;-)

We do not have bad behavior at home, only at school.

I would start speaking to your son about whether or not he has any respect for this teacher. My son had a very difficult year with his teacher. He hated her for humiliating him in front of the rest of the classroom and he held her in the lowest regard; he therefore did his very best to make her life a living hell.

He was sent to the kindergarten room

If I'm assuming right your child would be in the second grade? What the teacher did was a form of abuse. Not only humiliating but down right abusive not only to the child's self esteem but opens him up to bullying. I would have definatly gotten in the teacher's face about this, to me it seems not only abusive, humiliating and cruel beyond words; but, It makes me wonder why she has to have someone else do her job perhaps she is in the wrong business.

It can't be time to up medicine already!!! Plus he does not misbehave in this way at home, maybe a little, but not like at school where he has an audience. Is this normal? I don't think so because I don't see the other kids getting into this much trouble.

I used to beat myself up with that last line all the time. It comes down to this is YOUR son he is an individual he's not going to act like other kids. I know how hard it is to accept trust me. But, once you learn to accept it you'll start to see the joy and beauty that is YOUR son. OK so my son can't sit still-he's inquisitive, so he fly's off the handle-he stands up for himself and is not led by peer pressure. Do you see what I'm saying?

I feel guilty for punishing the crimes when I know he is ADHD, but, on the otherhand maybe this has nothing to do with that and he needs punishment.

One of the hardest thing's about parenting an ADD child is teaching them responsibility for every action. I am alway's feeling guilty for punishing my kids for acting out. BUT, ADD children need to know for every single action they will have a consequence whether it be a good one or a bad one.

It sounds to me like you are starting to lose faith in yourself. When that happens the doo hits the fan. Parenting an ADD child is a game of sorts. Try this and see if it works if it doesn't move on to another stradegy.

Good luck and hopefully next year he will get a teacher with a better understanding of ADD and a lot more patience. I can't help but wonder how she would feel about my 10 year old's art work lol I have a bear eating a lion on my frig and it's quite graphic. lol

Unique energy what a wonderful way to put it. You learn something new everyday.

Have you thought about an ADD coach or therapist? My children's therapist has worked wonderful miracles with them. If you can find the right one that is. It's a game of chance but don't lose hope if you should find one you don't much care for. Keep trying. Yoga has helped alot. Community action is a positive way to teach your children responsibility and that they have a voice. My kids get a kick out of the commendations they recieve from the fire department and the police department for charity work.

I don't have kids yet, but I think the others have a point.
Imagin you would be in his position. There are situations where I can figure myself at leasting wanting to tease someone like this.
If his teacher is treating him unfair or not just, then that's her weakness, not his.
In a way he should be rewarded for understanding this and having some character. From that point of view you should take him and explain why being the hero of his friends and doing things that are not appropriate isn't going to server him any good.

my son has to go see the principal just about everday . then he does ok the rest of the day . there best of friends he does some of what he does to get to go see her. went to the doc today and my son got put on metadate cd 10 mg . dont no how this going to help
but here we go

Edward have you considered speaking with the principal and seeing if she had time to meet with your son before school started for a couple of days to see if the behaviours stop? Perhaps your right and the behaviours only manifest because he wants to see her everyday. I would just ask her if she would mind sharing a donut, roll or muffin with your son everyday for a week just to see how the rest of his school day goes and warn your son those day's will stop if he continues to have bad behaviours...MOST education providers are at the school long before school starts and are willing to do most anything to see that children succeed.

That's an EXCELLENT suggestion, Futs :)

It's amazing isn't it...A blonde, ADHD woman who actually can perform a thought process.. lmbo...Thank you Thank you

Wow, thanks everyone for your input. I hadn't checked the site out in awhile so it was fun to read what all was written. I will let you all know that I did speak to my son's principal on the last day of school. She explained that the kindergarten teacher was a "team teacher" with his second grade teacher and that is why she took him to that classroom.

I let her know it was not appreciated (I even started crying) and that I was going to be watching like a hawk next year. She was very understanding. I like our principal, it was the teacher that got the best of me and my son this year. I wish I had been more vocal.

Thanks goodness we have two new third grade teachers coming this fall with no preconceptions about any of their students. I think it will be a much better year. Meanwhile, my son is having a great summer and the whole family is working on becoming more patient, understanding and positive.

I do love his energy, his intelligence, and his great desire to be an adult at age 8. All of our children are Angels of Light and we are so lucky to have them.

Vanessa
Mom to Cooper Child Extaordinare!

I have a suggestion this summer contact your son's teachers and ask them or even provide for them a listening tape called JOEY PIGSA SWALLOWED HIS KEY by Jack Gantos. It's a story about a young boy trying to figure out why he is wired wrong the story goes thru pre-diagnose's were everyone thinks the child is bad to diagnose's and treatment and the developement of self esteem, self love and finally success in living a productive life with ADD. Which can only be accomplished with love, support, understanding and knowledge. Good luck.

Cherity