View Full Version : Some questions about my DS6?Can you help?

Ej's Mom
11-01-09, 01:24 PM
HI All
I am looking for some input on my son and if he is showing signs of ADD.(or other??)
Firstly, I am pretty sure my husband falls into this category.

My son will be 6 next month and in grade 1. No concerns with any areas of his development. He has lots of energy, spirited, stubborn, great humour, friendly, intelligent. We have no problems at home with behaviour.....sometimes a little impulsive and listening.
School is where we have some issues. Teachers report (we have had some calls home) he is "hands-on" and a little aggresive (not malicious, defiant, mean/ nasty way but wants to be fun). He gets silly with the boys (youngest in his class)and has a hard time calming himself when he gets wound up. (he pulled a child's chair out when he was about to sit..he thought he was being fun). He becomes a magnet to the silliest boy in the class and gets caught up with that.
What is going on? We are having an "intervention" meeting tomorrow with his 2 teachers, VP and resource teacher. The school is very strict and he gets sent to office maybe once a week. Timeouts at his desk happen 1-2 a day (for laughing out loud, rolling on the carpet, kicking someone)
In light of some of these issues, we tell him over and over to stay away from a certain child, mind your own business, reward system, we took away a video game, trying to earn something etc etc...
I think he might be bored in the English class while he loves (I think) the French part of his day.
Do you have any thoughts?
Do you have any questions I should be asking the teacher?
Any ways to help control this impulsive behaviour?
My husband thinks he lacks respect for authority and wants to crack down on him (discipline) What should that look like?
I got a bright little guy here and so upset with what is going on at school.
Maybe he is just immature?
Thanks so much if you got this far!!!

11-01-09, 01:46 PM
How does he do with paying attention and getting his work done? Can he focus? It's hard to say, given what you've described. He is only six, and six-year-old boys can have trouble sitting still. It sounds like your school is very strict, and the sort of behavior expected can be too much for some kids at that age. Of course, you want him to learn that there are times to have fun and times to listen, and that having fun cannot involve hurting someone else (although unintentionally). On the other hand, I don't think you want to be too quick to have the school "diagnose" a disorder just because your child is not ready to fit into their strict code.

Good luck.

Song of Mercy
11-01-09, 03:52 PM
One thing I picked up on in your post was the comment that dad thinks he lacks respect for authority. That could simply be an issue of parental consistency...a challange for an add parent. It may be a good idea to schedule an evaluation with an ADHD specialist, I would aim for someone who works with both children and adults if possible. ADHD is highly inheritable...more so than many other disorders...whatever you do, it will help if the whole family situation is addressed. Thus if either you or dad have an attention deficit, that can be managed at teh same time rendering you much more likely to succeed with your sons treatment.



Ej's Mom
11-01-09, 04:39 PM
Thanks so much for your replies.
I can't say how he does at school in terms of focusing. I only know he can do work here at home pretty well (math, reading, printing, coloring etc...) I suspect he might be easily distracted and probably gets fidgety if circle time is too long.
My DH is dead set against any type of evaluation or testing right now...and I think that won't change. We are pretty consistent with rules, consequences, follow through, etc...
I guess I will just wait and see what happens tomorrow when the teachers suggest their intervention plan and go from there. I will be in the class volunteering occasionally so I might get a peek as to what he is like in school setting.

11-01-09, 11:12 PM
Hmmn, could this be one of my busy, busy Gr. 1 students? (Nope, mine don't get French yet but I'm up here in Canada).

I didn't look at the previous posters but I would ask how he is doing academically. Is he on the mark when he does independent seatwork or is he 'lost' when it comes time to do the assignment after the directions have been clearly given (despite being academically ABLE) to the whole class. Or, is he needing for directions to be given again, and again, and again... Academically, are his report card grades going to be in line with the teacher's expections and your expectations of his abilities in the various subject areas or are they going to be below what she/you would expect them to be?

Is he disruptive to others while they are working? Is he on-task at the appropriate times? Or is he needing to be redirected/refocussed over and over by the teacher? Is he disruptive during group times on the carpet? Is he focussed on the speaker at the appropriate times? I don't just mean when the teacher is giving a lesson, I also mean when the other kids are sharing their ideas and thoughts during group discussions. Or, is he the the one that the teacher has to repeatedly ask to stop talking, to stop touching the person next to him, or to stop crawling across/wiggling across the carpet?

Don't let the youngest in the class be an excuse for what is going on. I'm a long time teacher and yes, sometimes it is a factor but I've had so MANY of my top Gr. 1 students as the youngest or nearly the youngest that I don't look at that factor a whole lot. I look at behaviour that is not within the norm for a well-behaved student. Even the youngest Gr. 1 student should know how to behave within the expectations of a Gr. 1 classroom. We're not expecting them to act like adults. The age factor is already taken into consideration in the classroom. If the teacher is suggesting something is amiss, there may well be.

Hope everything goes well! I actually only stopped by the children/parents section tonight as I'm looking for some up-to-date info for one of my parents. I normally stick in the adult section for myself. Mind you, 20 years ago I would have also been looking for info re: my son. No, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

11-02-09, 03:42 PM
It is funny how some people are against testing. It makes no sense. I can see why people are against medication, but why be against getting a diagnosis?!?! Reminds me of an ostrich.

Anyway, dont let the school blame you for your sons behavior. When he is at school it is their responsibility to discipline him. Not much you can do from home to make him behave better at school.

OTOH there are behavior plans that can be implemented. With frequent rewards for good behavior throughout the day, that can help at school. Punishments dont really help make the child behave.

Some of the behaviors seem like adhd, but he is still kind of young. ADHD kids mature slower that other kids. They call it the 30% rule. So your son, on average for adhders, would have the social maturity of a 4 year old. Does that sound about right?

Oh, and tell your husband to stop burrying his head in the sand. The more you know about your child and what causes his behaviors, and how to help him live with his behaviors, the better off your child will be. And the better parent you both will be.

If it turns out that he has ADHD, you dont have to give him meds. Although, it would probably help.

Ej's Mom
11-02-09, 06:53 PM
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. You have all given me some excellent questions to ask the teacher. I was able to observe him in the class the other day and wow, he was having a great day. Nothing to report. Just sat for the circle, participated appropriately, listened to peers and teacher,was given instructions and went to his table to do his work. If all days could be like this. He is fine academically and able to do the work, not sure about if he gets off task, distracts others, etc....But I will find out!
Thanks again for all the information!