My Father made a LOT of Hurtful mistakes in his life when it comes to raising me....and it has effected me alot emotionally. Parents are human and make mistakes...but at least some kids can learn from their mistakes.

I swear to God...I will Never ever be like him...I will make sure my Kids know that it is ok to make mistakes cause they are human....I will make sure they know that I love them all Equally....And will not hate them for the wrong descisions they make. I won't put my children through that when or if I have them.

The Problem is.....I am among the lucky sort of ladies who fall in love with men who turn out to be just like my dad.

What if he turns out to not be abusive to me but abusive to my children and does the same thing to them as what has been done to me? How can I protect My Kids from the damage their father could do to them?

I can say that I have learned from Dad's Mistakes...But sometimes I say things the wrong way and let things slip
that may hurt my child...but I would Make the effort to appologize to them and let them know that I did not mean to say bad things to them. I Plan to do that and more for them. Of course, I do not know what kind of mother I will be but I do know one thing....eventually, there has to be a point when someone has to stop history from repeating...or the cycle will continue from generation to generation.

In a family, in an ideal world that is, there is both the mother and the father...Not only are my actions going to affect my child but the Father's actions as well. I feel with every fiber of my being that I never want my children to know the pain I have felt...If I am always falling in love with men like my dad...How can I be sure that the children would be protected from what I have been through?

I want so much to be a Mother and to as wonderful a mother as my Mom is too me...Still Like her...as wonderful as she is..she could not stop the hurtful words Dad said to me. :nono:

It figures that the one thing I know I do want in life (a family) is going to scare the "H. E. double Hockey Sticks" out of me. :rolleyes:

Dragging up the old painful memories and facing them is helpful if you then think about how to take a situation like that and turn it around to the ideal response. Keep thinking about it but remember to re-direct it to positive thoughts.

(so I'm told anyways)

Heh...I hope so...Will have to do some serious reminding to my kids if ever bad words were said...and do some SEVERE Yelling at de fatha!

Mel,

The first thing your going to have to do is the hardest...Believe in yourself, know in your heart you deserve better, pray for better, hope for better, demand better.

You deserve unconditional love that doesn't mean your not going to fight, everyone does but it means that you'll not be afraid to speak your mind and heart. Living in fear of physical or verbal punishment is not living it's merrily surviving...STOP SURVIVING and start living Mel.

We know everything you don't want in a man, now discover and think hard about what you do want and be realistic. Look on the inside...Prince Charming is not alway's tall, dark and handsome and fabulously rich. Sometimes he's a balding, pot bellied, hard working angel who saves you from yourself everyday without a price.

When you find HIM then you'll be ready to start thinking about THEM.

Brutal yes but that's always been what our friendship has been based on...brutal honesty and I won't start lying to you now.

Men are one thing, but children are another. No one should have children until they have healed the past enough to be certain it will not affect the future of their children. Do not make a permanent commitment until you find you are making good choices when it comes to men. The best way to do that is to give yourself time to know the man. Old fashioned but true: Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

And never follow my example... got pregnant after our third date and married him two years later while 6 months pregnant with our second. I was lucky in the end but it could have been a totally different picture.

OMG been so long that I posted this tehe I almost forgot it exsit....Futsy..Lately I am not one too turn the other cheek lately and very much speaking my mind more and more and with no fear :D Especially when it is something I feel strongly about...like someone else about as nucking futs as I am :D :p Somethings Have changed since I posted this and I am more worried and focused on sorting out my present so I dont worry about this in future :)

Of course I expect you to be brutally honest...would not have ya any other way....FYI Dont worry about Christmas present...If Ur gonna cry cause I got ya one....then there is only one thing to do...........






























Put a box of kleenex in with the box :p Loves ya!

Little reminders to focus on now and the future never hurt. I know your a much stronger person now I just want to keep it that way. It's been heart breaking, interesting, fun, exciting to watch you grow into the woman you are today and to know that I knew you back when and got the extreme pleasure of being a part of your transformation is something I'll never ever forget.

It's been a pleasure and looking forward to watching you take more baby steps,
Cherity

Little reminders to focus on now and the future never hurt. I know your a much stronger person now I just want to keep it that way.

I Know Sweetie Dawlin....and I wuv ya For It, I dunno what I would have done w/o u and ladies in Support Group. Just Dont Forget You are as strong as me..In fact twice as strong and so I hope U stay that way too;)

Why of course I am...everyone knows I'm only taken out by kryptinyte or a screaming toddler those are pretty scarry too.

eeeeeeeek What about A screaming toddler with kryptinyte in his diapers :p