Patience is a virtue and I'm always quick to go off so here is my answer to the problem. I'll post this here instead of sending it off right away. Maybe that way I can lose some of the offencive bits I can't see right now.

Is this wording going to antagonise? I mean it to be strong. It's ****e or get off the pot time for me. I'm definitely frustrated. Any commnets would be welcome.

This is addressed to the Principal. We have known him for years and have an open and frank relationship. We are not parents in denial.

Cheers! Ian.

=================

---------- Forwarded Message ----------

Subject: Yesterday with Manon's teachers
Date: Thu, 20 May 2004 22:29:53 -0500
From: Ian <#####@#####>
To: Peter O. <#####@#####>

Peter.
I may be mistaken but did you phone me back with a meeting time? June
phoned at 4:00pm today wondering where I was but I thought I was
waiting to hear back from you on a meeting time so had no recollection
of a meeting today. Sorry for the bother.
Cheers! Ian.

====================


Peter.
I'll give you another crack at this but I'd like to hear back from you
sometime soon.

Over the years it seems as if little credence is given to the
physiological needs of the students at #######. It's as if those
elements aren't in the same category as say a physically visible
attribute which seem to be met with a great deal of compassion.

There are many effective ways of dealing with many of the more common
difficult attributes of some people. We continue to acquire a
repertoire of successful strategies to ease Manon's learning curve. We
also have learnt some things that definitely irritate the situation.

Every year we seem to encounter the same types of frustrations with the
school in regards to Manon.

First and foremost is the lack of communication between home and the
teachers. This current level is maybe fine for some, but for us it is
undermining our efforts to help Manon at home.

We had always told ourselves that whatever we were short in the
education department we would just pick it up at home but that's not
going to work in this case. We need to work together if it's going to
work at all. The teachers are independently meeting with mixed results
to say the least. A co-ordinated effort regarding difficult children
might be more productive. There seems to be quite a body of work to
support different methods than are currently in place.

Now Manon is ten and will be eleven in the fall. She's in need of some
positive experiences at school and Pierrette and I are in need of some
support from the school. If we are trying to send a
difficult kid to school with the best possible chance of her being
effective in her participation, then we need to have our efforts
co-ordinated with the place she spends the most productive hours of her
day, her school.

I'm frustrated. This is not rocket science but it means important
things to these kids self esteem if the professionals use the tools
that are clearly defined in the literature as being recommended. If
not, an opportunity is missed and you end up with kids like I was. A
destructive force in the community. Crime, drugs, alcohol and more all
played a big role for me as it does many others.

Sometimes the simplest things can help avoid some of the grief. But it
doesn't happen by accident. It happens when people pick up the tools
appropriate for the job at hand.

Is there any hope of ever having a contemporary attitude from the
school regarding kids like Manon or should we quit flogging a dead
horse? I feel like Pierrette and I have been patiently flogging a very
dead horse. Please tell me how I am wrong. I'm tired of the same old
song and dance. We have talked about communication several times
and even on that point I see no movement. We find out about things too late.
Is there real hope for Manon doing anything but "surviving" her time at
######?

You are obviously busy and all the teachers are too I'm sure. I am
angry that the meeting with Manon's teachers was missed. I wanted to
have that meeting to present these thoughts to everyone connected with
Manon directly.

Did I get the message from you about when that meeting was to occur? I
understood that you were to call me back with a firm date and time.

An honest answer of "We can't do any more than we already are" is
preferable to paying lip service to something that isn't going to be
supported.

Ian.

The silence is deafening.. so off it goes.
Cheers! Ian.

Hey Ian I will respond. I have no kids so I am no expert. I sounds like you have communicated very well with the principal. Your letter is frank, but not rude or demeaning.

Ian let's just say you handled the situation much better then I did...and it seems to me that you are keeping within the golden rule you are treating the principle with the respect he should be showing yourself and your child.

p.s. The hardest thing for me was to learn how to be my children's voices and how to say "Hey, this isn't right".

Ya done good!!!!!

Thanks crew.
I never heard a word back from the guy. I followed up twice. There will be a show down before school starts in the fall.
Cheers! Ian.

Sometimes people force you to take the road you would normally rather avoid; but, if you don't stick up for your child no one will that was the hardest skill I had to learn when my kids entered the school system...speaking out never really tried it before then I find the more I do it the easier it becomes though.