View Full Version : Stopped my Therapy - Now Kind of Upset?


chris87
11-25-09, 12:18 AM
I had mentioned in a previous post that I was planning to stop my therapy sessions. I had been meaning to send an e-mail all weekend, but I ended up just doing it by phone this morning (I called when I knew he wouldn't be there, so I could just leave a message).

For some bizarre reason, I feel kind of sad. I can't really explain why. I didn't feel like the therapist was helping all that much, and I was looking forward to finding a new one (ideally someone a little bit younger. I was always slightly bothered by the age issue, because I felt like the person would retire and leave me hanging). Now, it's like the complete opposite. I feel very guilty and upset. I've been seeing this person since October of 2008, so I guess I've developed a pretty good rapport. My desire to find a new therapist has completely evaporated, and I almost feel like I need therapy to deal with stopping my therapy. I never imagined that I would attach sadness to this, which makes me wonder why I'm reacting in this way. The only thing that I can think of is that I shared a lot of problems with this person...things that I had never told to anyone else (issues with my Mom being sick, etc.).

Am I making any sense at all? Has anyone felt like this?

ginniebean
11-25-09, 01:25 AM
Chris,


It's a business relationship in which he gets paid. People end business relationships when they're needs aren't being met.

He's not going to lose sleep over your business decision, you don't need to either.

The intimacy of this particular type of business relationship does tend to blur the lines but it really isn't a 'friendship'. You're making perfect sense.

novagal
11-25-09, 01:53 AM
I agree with ginniebean, and I would add that I believe it's common to have these types of feelings, especially when you've been so vulnerable with someone. Yes, it's a professional relationship, additionally there was enough trust established for you to open up about things you've not shared with anyone. Even though he wasn't what you'd considered the ideal therapist for you, that doesn't mean that there wasn't some benefit to you.

As far as feeling guilty, remember that he has the tools in place to remain objective and professional, and not take your ending the business relationship personally.

I recently ended my sessions with a counselor I'd seen for a few years. It was quite an interesting process for me, I felt a little "wobbly kneed" at first, and definitely some sadness. We did however have the opportunity to talk about ending therapy which was very helpful.