View Full Version : Isolation of a schizoid personality


cashmere
12-10-09, 05:45 PM
Its some time since i've visited the site and written anything about myself regarding my mental health well being.

Let me tell you guys i finally got my permenant home? been here some months now and have called my bungerlow?bungerlow blues?A coz i suffer with them and B because my favourite football team play in blue.

As we prepare for christmas my world is empty?no i don't want self pity?i want others to know what its like to be cut off,no friends,family cut ties with you,no employment?the shrinks your just an income for them?the telephone never rings?you wake through the night with vivid dreams?lifes like in slow motion?you reach out and try to grasp it and bring it back into your life but it just moves away again.

People smile as they go about there lives, everybody seems happy and joyful but you.If you feel a bit like this you will understandwhere i'am coming from.

Let the new year heal are minds,souls and the hole in our lives and last for an eternity.:cool:

peripatetic
12-11-09, 04:29 AM
i cannot sympathize with your situation much; i'm probably your pretty standard adhd person (maybe more 'severe' than many...but i usually get by). i also know full well that pity is an insult.

i respectfully offer all that i can: sincerest empathy, best wishes for you learning and finding all that you need (and at least a few things you unabashedly desire:)) and wholehearted acknowledgment of your 'state of the person'.

take care and i hope i continue to run across your contributions in the 'new posts' section,

cashmere
12-11-09, 05:16 PM
i cannot sympathize with your situation much; i'm probably your pretty standard adhd person (maybe more 'severe' than many...but i usually get by). i also know full well that pity is an insult.

i respectfully offer all that i can: sincerest empathy, best wishes for you learning and finding all that you need (and at least a few things you unabashedly desire:)) and wholehearted acknowledgment of your 'state of the person'.

take care and i hope i continue to run across your contributions in the 'new posts' section,

The thread was not written for sympathy but to describe a schizoid sufferer and the way things can deteriote.Its conditioning is a whole lot different then adhd.I have no self pity or friends,family,co-workers just me.

I have discovered who i am but wish i haddn'.t:cool:

justaperson
12-11-09, 08:05 PM
out of curiosity, what are the judgments that are passed in this position/state? it seems as this based upon mostly judgments of image/identity. it seems you are reflecting upon what is going on in your life. isolation is not a good thing. are you relating 'team in blue' to bungablue blues which suggests the state of 'being' or the effect of being in a place for so long?

maybe you could describe or provide some background as to how this all came about, what happens in your daily life, and just tell us a bit more about yourself.

cashmere
12-12-09, 06:01 PM
out of curiosity, what are the judgments that are passed in this position/state? it seems as this based upon mostly judgments of image/identity. it seems you are reflecting upon what is going on in your life. isolation is not a good thing. are you relating 'team in blue' to bungablue blues which suggests the state of 'being' or the effect of being in a place for so long?

maybe you could describe or provide some background as to how this all came about, what happens in your daily life, and just tell us a bit more about yourself.


Its a life you wouldn't want?an anguished face which can't be altered,people pick up on it?its called predatory behaviour?the law in the uk doesn't give you the full protection of being able to defend yourself from attack.

When people have the blues it means there low,down,fed up etc and i live in a bungerlow and support a football team that plays in blue.

The isolation comes about because i have no friends,my mother disowned me,my wife rejected me once discovering i suffered with personality defects.I've hurt no one,i've commited no crime,i cause no threat to anyone.That is the life of a disordered person and it sucks.:cool:

EshkaronsEngine
12-13-09, 03:16 AM
Just saying I know what it's like to lose in life and I think there is nothing that can alleviate this pain without going out of your mind, so I have put my hopes in medication. Anyways I hate my brain and feel cheated that I had to be the designated loser. But I try to be noble about it and say someone had to take the hit and be thankful that my brothers don't have health issues and are dealing with life just fine. It's like I'm taking one for the team. And who knows one day with the right combo of medication:

I'll be back on my feet again, I'll walk proud down this street again, and

they'll all look at me again and they'll see that I'm strong.:D

cashmere
12-15-09, 02:13 PM
Just saying I know what it's like to lose in life and I think there is nothing that can alleviate this pain without going out of your mind, so I have put my hopes in medication. Anyways I hate my brain and feel cheated that I had to be the designated loser. But I try to be noble about it and say someone had to take the hit and be thankful that my brothers don't have health issues and are dealing with life just fine. It's like I'm taking one for the team. And who knows one day with the right combo of medication:

I'll be back on my feet again, I'll walk proud down this street again, and

they'll all look at me again and they'll see that I'm strong.:D

Yes a brave move on your part?i'am old school and have just completed a cognitive therapy programme?i learnt things but it still won't alter the state of my mind set.

I've been trying to find a woman to date but am finding it difficult because i have the schizoid anxious face and my sociability skills are to weak to intereact?how can i hook up with woman?I'am not bothered if shes nuts?i just need to feel the warmth of the woman.

If theres any gals reading this and wanna hook up,just pm me coz being alone is hard like rock climbing without a rope.:)

ADXP
12-27-09, 02:15 PM
Its some time since i've visited the site and written anything about myself regarding my mental health well being.

Let me tell you guys i finally got my permenant home? been here some months now and have called my bungerlow?bungerlow blues?A coz i suffer with them and B because my favourite football team play in blue.

As we prepare for christmas my world is empty?no i don't want self pity?i want others to know what its like to be cut off,no friends,family cut ties with you,no employment?the shrinks your just an income for them?the telephone never rings?you wake through the night with vivid dreams?lifes like in slow motion?you reach out and try to grasp it and bring it back into your life but it just moves away again.

People smile as they go about there lives, everybody seems happy and joyful but you.If you feel a bit like this you will understandwhere i'am coming from.

Let the new year heal are minds,souls and the hole in our lives and last for an eternity.:cool:

Basically that's me..

cashmere
12-29-09, 02:32 PM
As the new year approaches life seems bleak.

reesah
12-30-09, 11:21 AM
I am thinking of you cashmere, sending you warm blanket thoughts.

Bluerose
12-30-09, 11:32 AM
Me too. Feel the warmth friend. It can be painful being ‘ourselves’ but who else we gonna be.

{{Hug}}

Bluerose
01-03-10, 12:32 AM
Happy New Year!!!!
I hope this one will be brighter for all of us. Especially you.

sarey
01-03-10, 04:14 AM
i feel like this a lot. hope this year is better for you.

cashmere
01-04-10, 02:59 AM
i feel like this a lot. hope this year is better for you.


And i hope its better for you to.

This life is a dress rehearsal for the next and our experiences of it will prepare:cool: our pathway to ever lasting eternity.

May your passage be safe,rewarding and let the sun shine into your life always.

ginniebean
01-04-10, 03:05 AM
People smile as they go about there lives, everybody seems happy and joyful but you.If you feel a bit like this you will understandwhere i'am coming from.

I've felt like that, and I mentioned it to someone as we were walking thru your typical suburban neighbourhood. I got a reply that I wasn't expecting. My friend told me, you think all these houses have happy people in them because the houses look a certain way? The way things look often just hides the pain that's going on within them.

Comparisons are often wrong, because we really don't know what it's like being someone else. Maybe there are a few people who manage to get thru this life on some blissful magic carpet ride but that's not the majority by far. There's a quote that's thousands of years old.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet carries a heavy burden"

cashmere
01-05-10, 04:58 PM
Today i was banned off another forum?the reason was because the moderators are sexist,bias and only just old enough to wipe there own a...s.

They started issuing threats about banning orders a bit like a red rag to a bull kidda of situation>

So for the last month i've been at logga heads with them and have been manipulating the situation wanting to get banned.

Question?is this childish behaviour me fighting back or the personailty disorders at play?:cool:

Bluerose
01-07-10, 11:27 AM
Ha! Ha! I came here to this board after being banned off one by an uppity moderator. The administrator emailed me apologising and inviting me back. I posted about it here, some here might remember it. I went back for a look and there was a post about how I was always welcome on that board. I cut and pasted that here too somewhere so others could see I was being truthful. Upsetting at the time but laughable now.

In answer to your question:

Yes it’s childish… but sometimes that’s all some people understand.

Oh Happy Days!!!

cashmere
01-07-10, 12:46 PM
Ha! Ha! I came here to this board after being banned off one by an uppity moderator. The administrator emailed me apologising and inviting me back. I posted about it here, some here might remember it. I went back for a look and there was a post about how I was always welcome on that board. I cut and pasted that here too somewhere so others could see I was being truthful. Upsetting at the time but laughable now.

In answer to your question:

Yes it’s childish… but sometimes that’s all some people understand.

Oh Happy Days!!!

I remember you telling me when i first joined this forum Bluerose to give it time and i would find it much better here than other sites.How right you were and thanks for the reply,I think i will be much better off here than there.

Hows the weather down south?its freezing here but the creative minds are at work building snowmen?theres even one that looks schizoid and doesn't smile.:)

garrett74
01-12-10, 10:48 AM
I have been isolated for years due to ADHD and was misdiagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder out of the convienance of the misdiagnoses and the convienance of not giving me ADHD meds as opposed. Most Dr's live and strive to not be tricked, and most treat me as if it where a litteral impossibility that 'I' could possibly have ADHD. One Dr. even refused to renue my depression meds due to the misdiagnosis.
One thing that occurs with ADHD is the fact that those with my type of ADHD don't think the same way as others due to the fact that our thought processing is simply differant, and therefore this destroys personal relation factors making conversation even more difficult and eventually leads us to choose not to get ourselves in the nasty situation of stressed conversation. I also have a nasty habbit of thinking while I'm tring to talk which makes me loose track of what I'm saying in the midst of any stress whatsoever.

cashmere
01-12-10, 05:32 PM
I have been isolated for years due to ADHD and was misdiagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder out of the convienance of the misdiagnoses and the convienance of not giving me ADHD meds as opposed. Most Dr's live and strive to not be tricked, and most treat me as if it where a litteral impossibility that 'I' could possibly have ADHD. One Dr. even refused to renue my depression meds due to the misdiagnosis.
One thing that occurs with ADHD is the fact that those with my type of ADHD don't think the same way as others due to the fact that our thought processing is simply differant, and therefore this destroys personal relation factors making conversation even more difficult and eventually leads us to choose not to get ourselves in the nasty situation of stressed conversation. I also have a nasty habbit of thinking while I'm tring to talk which makes me loose track of what I'm saying in the midst of any stress whatsoever.


I thankyou for your honesty and realise how difficult it is to survive having similar difficulties with the personality situation.

Yes doctors can get it completely wrong and if patients try to disagree with there diagnosis they become defiant?

Luckly i have had three doctors/shrinks who all gave a different personality disorders but recognised and agreed with me having traits of the others.

reesah
01-23-10, 05:31 AM
I have been laying low but I thought of you today cashmere and thought I would read up on how you have been. xoxoxox smiles for you

cashmere
01-25-10, 02:34 AM
I have been laying low but I thought of you today cashmere and thought I would read up on how you have been. xoxoxox smiles for you

Thats a feeling that we all recognise?feeling low?so its up to us to try and lift the spirits of others.Please let yours rise above your emotions and give you the happiness and quality of life you deserve.:cool:

daveddd
01-25-10, 09:55 AM
I have been isolated for years due to ADHD and was misdiagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder out of the convienance of the misdiagnoses and the convienance of not giving me ADHD meds as opposed. Most Dr's live and strive to not be tricked, and most treat me as if it where a litteral impossibility that 'I' could possibly have ADHD. One Dr. even refused to renue my depression meds due to the misdiagnosis.
One thing that occurs with ADHD is the fact that those with my type of ADHD don't think the same way as others due to the fact that our thought processing is simply differant, and therefore this destroys personal relation factors making conversation even more difficult and eventually leads us to choose not to get ourselves in the nasty situation of stressed conversation. I also have a nasty habbit of thinking while I'm tring to talk which makes me loose track of what I'm saying in the midst of any stress whatsoever.

thats insane

what kind of doctor do you have

schizoaffective disorder and adhd arent even in the same ball park

QueensU_girl
02-11-10, 11:38 PM
If I understand this correctly, you have schizoid personality traits but feel lament or lonely b/c of them?

I beleive that in schizoid disorders, there is no 'distress' (or regret) about being alone. There is no sense of being 'cut off' or lonely.

I think the term you are using may be being used incorrectly.

QueensU_girl
02-11-10, 11:41 PM
Schizoid and schizo-affective are different too. Schizoaffective is related to schizophrenia but with an Affective (emotional component). (Most people with garden variety schizophrenia subtypes are 'disaffected'/unemotional. That is the difference.)

Check a DSM for further info.

cashmere
03-07-10, 07:05 PM
Schizoid and schizo-affective are different too. Schizoaffective is related to schizophrenia but with an Affective (emotional component). (Most people with garden variety schizophrenia subtypes are 'disaffected'/unemotional. That is the difference.)

Check a DSM for further info.

Playing head doctor is not always a good move?I have several disorders not just spd?So the lonely isolation situation can spin like a spinning top which could be your over active brain bubbling and searching for solution?

Sometimes we visit here just to unload a burdon or share one?its not always to overdose on dsm?

Why are you all so damned quite?liven up at once.:cool: