My son has ADHD & ODD. I have read alot on ADHD, but can't seem to find a lot on ODD. My husband and I have not discussed the diagnosis with him yet. He's 12, but I'm trying to find some answers before we broach the subject this week. (He was only diagnosed last Wednesday). One question I have is this, are the ODD tendencies controllable? Or is it like ADHD where they have no control? I am trying to get used to the fact that all the trouble we have been having is not his fault (or ours as parents for that matter). He is an only child so, how much of it is from being spoiled or from not having enough discipline? I have trouble seeing him as being incapable of controlling his behavior. I know I need to get used to it. But we are a 2 parent household. We are not "dysfunctional" in the same ways that many families are (every family is to some degree, but no serious problems other than me wanting to leave due to the difficulties due to the behavioral issues, to take special note of). My assessment of the psycologists diagnosis is that he is "borderline" ADHD/ODD -- some of the test results that came back were just slightly elevated and not "off the chart" high. The actual results said high probability of ODD & ADHD, but some of the necessary factors were just slightly elevated (numberwise). I guess it's a new thing to get used to the possibility that there is something chemical going on here -- not just poor choices. Any others new and having a hard time changing your attitude?

It's common to see ODD with ADHD and I don't think he can control it. Poor impulse control is a big component of ADHD - what may seem simple to you - "I have trouble seeing him as being incapable of controlling his behavior" - is likely not simple for him. It's not about being "spoiled" or not having enough disipline - His disorder is not due to your parenting skills, despite what you may or may not have heard people say (people who don't understand the condition), it's cause is thought to be differences in brain chemistry.
Treatment for the ADHD will likely help the ODD as well, since improved impulse control will help him be able to control his behaviour.
Good luck,
Greg

Crystal, would you mention specifially some of his impulse problems, I am very interested as my 8 yr old son hasn't ben diagnosed yet, but I am quite sure he is ODD and ADHD. I go through the same battles about whether or not he can ontrol it. It is hard for me to come up with tools to help his control. I lost my cool today and
threatened to send him to a day care as I couldn't take it. That helped out a lot. He then controlled himself relatively better.
So I battle with he can control himself, at least under pressure.
I hate when I threaten him with stuff I don't really intend to do.

His impulse issues are mainly with his mouth and his attitude. It's like as soon as I say something he just reacts harshly (or it could be a friend, teacher, etc.). He says things he regrets after the fact. And he truly does get upset if he knows he was wrong. But part of the problem is sometimes he doesnt realize that it's just the way he talks to people. I don't know how many times I have to tell him, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. It could be a simple question and the answer is only the word "yeah" or "no" and just the tone and the look that comes along with it can be the most disrespectful thing of all. The reason I struggle with what he has control over is the fact that he doesn't do it nearly as much to his dad. I am so tired of hearing from teachers that he's so bright, he just doesn't apply himself. Or he's lazy or disrespectful. He's so disorganized. He has a behavior "contract" that lists his behavior by the day and homework. And he has NEVER had it signed by all his teachers. Usually he forgets it. At one point he had 17 missing assignments in one class 1 month into the marking periord. But he is capable of getting an A. All this time I've been thinking he's just goofing off. He can't stay in his seat. He talks ALL THE TIME. He is the classic "class clown". I have a hard time figuring out how he makes and keeps friends, but he does. He is very popular. When something is said to him it's always "what'd I do?" or I didn't do anything. Maybe he gets more of a reaction from us than he does his dad. We were trying to decide to medicate or not, and my husband said definitely, because of our (my son and my) relationship. I'm stressing big time. I'm going to need medication before it's over. Everything is such a struggle. I know my reactions don't help the situation. I just hope that now that I know there may be a reason for all we've been through I can start to change my reactions and view this as a "disease". Sorry to ramble and jump from topic to topic.

A couple of web pages I found during a quick search of my bookmarks and such. Sorry I didn't have the time to find more or to really read them throught to see if they are completely pertainant. I hope they are of some use.

http://www.schwablearning.org/pdfs/EGuide_ProbBehavior.pdf

http://www.aafp.org/afp/20010415/1579.html

Regards,
Greg

FYI - he does not have conduct disorder. But...I am very aware of the fact that ADHD/ODD can lead to conduct disorder if left untreated. I believe that has happened in both my and my husband's family with close blood relatives.

I guess one of those pages was more conduct disorder related. It certainly doesn't sound like he has, or is at risk or having, that condition from what you've said so far. It sounds very much like a nasty case of ADHD - and one inherited from both sides of the family.
I would think that medication would likely help him a lot. Has his Dr suggested anything yet? They'll probably try Strattera first, since it's not a stimulant (even though stimulants are effective in a larger percentage of cases, and from the anicdotal evidence I've heard, have fewer side effects).
Regards,
Greg

We are going next Tuesday to discuss types of drugs with the psychiatrist. He did mentioned stimulants when I spoke with him. To me, it seems like Strattera seems to work well for a lot of people, without as many severe side effects. We have an appointment scheduled with his primary care dr. on Wednesday to get the actual prescription. I have yet to have a sit down with my son and tell him what the therapist said/his diagnosis. My husband and I had the "diagnosis" session alone...that's next. When we started this process he seemed a bit "hyped" that he may have ADHD (in his case he is ADHD/ODD), and I really don't want this to be a crutch...which I am totally afraid of. I don't want him to think we expect less of him because of this. Is that okay, for us to expect the same from him but for us to know that it is a little harder for him to get there.

I experience the same traits in my son. Especially the whad i do? Type stuff.

I agree reacting doesn't help. I remember when I was a kid, I was irritated and put off by what I saw as my mother weaknesses, and I would feel more unable to control my behavior verbally.
I try hard to not let my son get under my skin, like taking it personal. But it is hard, as it feels very honest and right to explain how we feel. But he doesn't want to hear that so I just ignore him when he speaks rude or I repeat what he said to me in a nicer tone kind of like I am validating his request, and often he will repeat the request or reply with a nicer tone and a please or something.
I also refuse/ignore him when he makes demands. And/or correct his tone. I don't know how it is helping in the long run. But at least in the short run he is made aware and if he wants an immediate response to the subject he brings up, he has to say it nicely or I do the corrective stuff.
I don't know if this helps as your son is older than mine.

My son is a whirlwind of impulses, physically too. (swinging stuff around, everything is a sword .
Crystal, was your son more physically impulsive at 8 or nine?

Here's a web page with links to a ton of clinical material on ODD

http://cchs-dl.slis.ua.edu/clinical/psychiatry/childhood/disruptive/oppositional-defiant-disorder.htm

Most pages seem to require a subscription :-(

This one links to patient information

http://cchs-dl.slis.ua.edu/patientinfo/psychiatry/childhood/disruptive/oppositional-defiant-disorder.htm

I have only started to read stuff here, so I don't know what all's here.
Regards,
Greg

Your Defiant Child by Russell Barkley is a good reference book, as is the Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP) by Dinkmeyer & McKay.

He was a little more active...I just thought it was power rangers.... Now it's not that he's jumping and running. He's always whistling, tapping fingers, chewing pen tops and stuff like that. They put him on Adderall. I will be getting the prescription from the rx this week...I wanted to wait until he was out of school to make sure there are no adverse reactions, etc. Thanks to all.

Crystal.

I wish you and your son much luck.When you get a chance, please check out The Out of Sync Child....by Carol Stock Kranowitz. I think you'll find it interesting and hopefully helpful too. Take care.

What stood out to me is that your son is sorry for what he's done and see's the errror of his ways. That tells me you should have success with behavior modification. Our son has a real hard time being empathetic and seeing things from others point of view. Defiant child is a great book.

My daughter B, had terrible odd!! When we started on ritalin and clonidine, I saw a huge improvement in these behaviors!! It was great!! Life was liveable again. She also had settled down enough that I could start working with her on behavior modification. Before meds I could not even accomplish any behavior training at all. She got very explosive, hit me, ripped my shirt, argued or disagreed with everything I said. I am not trying to say that meds will fix everything either, after the meds bring some self control there is a lot of work to be done and it is on going!! Good Luck!!

Things are much better (so far). We started on Adderall XR, 10 mg, the week after school let out. It's been about 1.5 months and I can definitely see the difference. He's had a checkup at 30 days and has lost 5 lbs. Luckily he can afford to...he's 5'6, 178 pounds (did I say he is 13 yo?). They are going to wait and see how the school year goes before trying to adjust his doseage.

Thanks for all your input. The problem now, is making sure he takes it everyday. That's how I know it's working...I can say -- did you take your medicine? and usually get a no response when we're having difficulty. This problem has really taken a toll on our relationship. My husband has suggested that we go to the beach (my son and I) for a couple days to sort of "reconnect". We're going next week I think. Should be fun.

Thanks again!!!

Have fun at the beach!! I think that is a really good idea. It is very hard on your relationship with a child, when it is constant arguing. It gets to the point of where the bad out weigh the good!! I hope you have a nice time!!