View Full Version : Got No Friends :(


chalkey93
02-22-10, 07:29 AM
Im really sad because i have no friends and i feel like its all ADHD's fault!

I havent been in full time schooling since year 4, I shifted through a few special schools including Redbank, Fowler road and the Mt Druitt Tutorial centre and now im in home schooling.

I get along with adults but even they dont understand how I feel.

I just want to be a normal kid in a normal school but I already know that there is no such thing as normal.

I just get so angry, if im teased, or if they call my mum names i just go crazy.

I also went off at my mum once and I felt so bad i couldnt stop crying for days and when i think about it, i end up in tears.

I also have anxiety disorder, ODD and mild aspergus.

my sister doesnt understand the most she gets so mad and she doesnt listen to me or talk to me.

i try tlking to my dad but it just feels wierd and when i talk to my mum its like shes heard it all before and she says she understands when she doesnt.

Some people can be really harsh using terms like retarded or mental, and it really hurts.

Im on meds but they only work alittle.

ive been to councilors, groups and now im trying this forum so if there is anyone out there who REALLY understands me please repley to this.

radicalartist
02-22-10, 09:37 AM
Heya

I used to live in brisbane :)

and sure sometimes having friends at different ages works.. but yea good to have friends your own age..

I have quite often had friends because I play sport.

Perhaps you could start playing a sport?

:)

I have mild ocd, mild adhd, and mild aspergers :)

sweet..

so can relate

Hope you find some friends :)

ALSO try joining some different clubs, chess , drama or whatever you into.

ryanbg
02-22-10, 05:41 PM
Im really sad because i have no friends and i feel like its all ADHD's fault!

I havent been in full time schooling since year 4, I shifted through a few special schools including Redbank, Fowler road and the Mt Druitt Tutorial centre and now im in home schooling.

I get along with adults but even they dont understand how I feel.

I just want to be a normal kid in a normal school but I already know that there is no such thing as normal.

I just get so angry, if im teased, or if they call my mum names i just go crazy.

I also went off at my mum once and I felt so bad i couldnt stop crying for days and when i think about it, i end up in tears.

I also have anxiety disorder, ODD and mild aspergus.

my sister doesnt understand the most she gets so mad and she doesnt listen to me or talk to me.

i try tlking to my dad but it just feels wierd and when i talk to my mum its like shes heard it all before and she says she understands when she doesnt.

Some people can be really harsh using terms like retarded or mental, and it really hurts.

Im on meds but they only work alittle.

ive been to councilors, groups and now im trying this forum so if there is anyone out there who REALLY understands me please repley to this.

Hi :)
I truly understand your frustration. I've had a difficult time making and keeping real friends. One thing you can try to do is find an activity or sport you can participate in with other kids. Preferably a sport, where you can take all your aggression out with some good clean exercise! I find that when I am feeling angry or sad it helps to exercise and get some fresh air. Channel your anger and sadness into something productive and beneficial to yourself. Don't listen to other people, they all have their own problems that you could probably make fun of too, but that's not the right thing to do. I don't like it when people make fun of me for my ADHD, it's not like we asked to be like this. I see it as a gift, it allows me to do things other people can't. I can think at a million miles an hour, and run about that fast too! You have a friend here anytime you need me.
Ryan

Michiko74
02-26-10, 05:53 PM
I'm so sorry that you're having such a tough time :( ADHD certainly has a way of making you feel alone, doesn't it?

With regards to your family - it can be difficult for people to be kind and loving when they have no experience or understanding of what the other person is going through. That's not an excuse though. Just a little perspective. Sometimes people can get angry and defensive when they can't be more helpful. It's just a reminder of what they can't do. Again, not an excuse.

The support and love from your family may not come in the way you want it. Understand that people have limits, and that includes your family. Maybe your mom making you lunch isn't really attending to your ADHD symptoms, but it is love and support.

You have every right to ask for support, but also be willing to be flexible too.

Part of being a good friend is to be a good friend to yourself. So you need to take care of your ADHD, make sure that you're managing the symptoms well. Go back to your doctor and let him/her know about the effect of your medication. ADHD meds won't make the symptoms go away, but you should be noticing an overall improvement being on them.

Also, you may need to seek out a therapist to help you deal with your feelings. Friends and family are good, but I think your issues are quite complex and really need the attention of a professional.

Right now, you may find yourself being alone more than you'd like. But as you get better, than it may become easier to be a friend and to maintain friendships.

You will get there. :)

RedHairedWitch
02-26-10, 06:23 PM
*hugs*

I know how hard it is to make and keep friends, especialy at your age!

Folks with ADHD (and such) often have a hard time with people the same age as them. You might want to try kids who are a little younger and a little older.

I found volunteering to be a great way to meet other teens. You meet peopel who don't go to the same school as you (which can be nice) as well as teens from different ages and backgrounds. Also kids who volunteers tend to have a good head on their shoulders and are less liley to be the bully type. If you volunteer in something that interests you, you'll know the other kids also share that interest so you will have some common ground to start with

:)

crazycat1990
02-28-10, 07:52 PM
I can relate too. I have ADHD and mild Asperger's :)

I've recently just turned 20 and I still feel I don't have any real friends!

Infant school was hard at first, I didn't like people coming near me so I pushed them away, literally! Made some friends, was happy.

Those friends all went to the same junior school as me so things carried on good, I gradually made a new set of male friends. I've always got on with males better (and I'm female btw).

Then I went to secondary school but my junior school friends didn't go to the same one as me. I still had 1 female friend who I got on with and we both became friends with a girl who also went to our junior school. The saying "Two's company, three's a crowd" reared it's head, and I got left out. In year 8 I had bullying etc and it was a tough time but I made new friends and it carried on fine, also carried on fine into sixth form college as we were still together. But not in the same classes, which was a big problem for me. We also had different timetables and some days I was in on my own without them! :(
I left college early as I wasn't enjoying the subjects I had chosen to do and wanted to work full time at the job I was currently at, which was a sort-of-local theme park, and theme parks etc are one of my special interests. I also met my boyfriend there. It was a great year (this was 2008) and I had such a laugh working there and gained some independance cos most of the time I lived in a flat with my bf and a work mate. I also made good friends with a group of guys who often came as guests/used to work there, plus one that still works there. I didn't return to the job last year as there was a lot of favouritism and bad management etc. I've been unemployed since, I find it hard making changes in that respect and unless I'm working in/with an area of special interest, I am very uncomfortable and my ADHD and AS get worse.
All of 2009 was fine, I still had my group of friends I'd made from work. I drifted apart from a few of them but I still got on and spent time with my "main" friend, we had some laughs :D
Then over the past few months, people start changing. The friends I had drifted apart from have really moved on, one of them got a girlfriend and others noticed how it made him different/less chatty etc online and stuff. Two other friends live together miles away and both work. My main friend changing was the hardest thing though. It's since the theme park's closed season started in November. It's meant we don't meet up every week/every other week like we used to. He doesn't live where I live, nor do the others we used to go to the theme park with. They are all about an hour away from me. My old chool/college friends are at uni and stuff now so I'm all alone in my town :( I still keep in touch with them and I've met up ith my best friend once last year but it's not the same.
Also I dumped my boyfriend (FINALLY!) last November, long old story but he was a complete d**k and I am so relieved I did it :o :D :eek:
So yeah, basically, my new friends I made have all changed/moved on. I've met up with them a few times during the closed season, gone to London and things like that, plus met up and had a great night out for my birthday last week. But it's not the same and my main friend is acting differently and doesn't chat to me much anymore, seems different when we do chat, spends a lot of time with everyone else cos they all live near each other...

So really, I do have friends, but to me they don't feel like friends, it feels like they are all friends with each other, and I'm just the one they forgot about and occassionally meet up with/talk to so I don't feel left out.

The good thing I can look forward to though is that the park opens again soon! But I'm still worried - what if it's still not the same? I mean even if I'm spending more time with them, what if things have changed so much that I get left out of conversations and end up being the tag along :(

I do agree with others about joining a club, sports, voluntary work etc etc. I used to do karate and it gave me a lot of confidence, I left as I was busy with GCSEs but I really wanna go back! Plus, I may make new friends :D And they will be local, hurrah! :p
And I have always had a passion for animals, especially cats, so I'm really thinking about doing voluntary work for our local Cats Protection centre. Then I can be myself, because I will be doing something I am passionate about, with like-minded people :)

Finally, I can also relate to the thing about family not really understanding. I'm feeling this a lot, mainly since my ADHD diagnosis last July, no one knows much about it and they got angry when I was on meds, didn't understand why, etc. I really need to explain it fully to them but so much else has been going on over the months, I feel I haven't had the chance and I don't even know where to begin!

Hang in there, and think about any activities etc you might enjoy doing.

Sorry if I rambled on too long but I just felt I had to explain my whole situation :o

ryxin
03-01-10, 04:39 AM
So sad to hear..I wish i could be your friend although its just friends over here..lolz..
why you got no friends?

fracturedstory
03-11-10, 01:40 AM
I was home schooled too and my mum was concerned about me having friends. There was one day of the week where other kids and parents would meet up and have a day together. I used to just take my skateboard and not talk to the other kids. I kind of knew them, but wasn't interested in them.
These days I'm a little bit more friendly and I have had hard times finding friends. Do you have any hobbies and if so would you like to make friends with that similar interest? With me most of my friends are in the music scene. It was all unintentional but I've got friends who all obsess about different kinds of bands.
I have Asperger's too, more moderate than mild. School was tough for me. I got low grades, had barely any friends and it was so tiring. I never felt very smart back then but now that I've been diagnosed with AS and trying to diagnosed with ADHD I don't think I'm as dumb as I once thought.
Anyway, keep at it, don't stress about it too much and you may meet one person that becomes a good friend. You can't just decide one day 'right, I'm going to make a friend.' It's something that develops out of getting to know somebody. But good luck with it.:)

teacher abc
03-12-10, 07:17 PM
Hi,
I am sorry you are having a rough time. I think Red Haired witch is right; try kids who are a little older and a little younger. My kid has trouble too--and he is not home schooled...even when he is with other kids, he feels like he does not fit in. In high school, he tended to be more friendly with kids a couple of years younger than him because he was made fun of by many of his peers because they were different. Plus he had circumstances that made it hard for him to hang out after school. In college, he is still the odd man out. He doesn't drink or smoke and it seems unfortunately that most around him do, so he feels out of place. Even when he goes to parties, he tends to stay in a corner and watch. He feels the other often do not understand him and he sometimes says the wrong things because he can't help it and they get mad. He gets along much better with adults. Maybe if you can expand your age range, maybe find some outside interest or organization, it will help. I wish you luck.

Naussicaa
03-16-10, 10:14 PM
Don't be so down kiddo! Find an activity that you can enjoy equally with your peers! If your meds don't work its time for a switch. What are you taking anyways?

Werl
05-26-10, 11:01 AM
I have no friends ether, My pear group really annoys me. Hard to find something to do with people who I don't like.

Rebelyell
05-26-10, 05:17 PM
Your son sounds like me teacher abc to a T!I get mad when I realized I said the wrong thing or blew a date cause instead of telling a white lie I tell the truth.People are such ignoramus's and insensitive to other people feelings.I also feel the way of the crazy cat.There only your friends because they feel sorry for you and don't have the huevos to tell you how they really feel.Ive been told this by some 1 we didnt wanna tell you we were afraid you might go awol and kill yourself! WTF please I have to much to live for to do that.Keep it moving!I never did drugs,I have drank an sometimes smoke an there are many times when I say why did curiosity have to kill the cat w me. Also Karma is something my co worker told me his high school sweet heart an now EX Wife use to make fun of LD /retarded /handicapped kids he said Now look shes got a daughter who has down syndrome and was dxed w Lupis.I don;t wish no ill will or malice to no 1 but sometimes I have to think what goes around comes around full circle.I use to like the three ms now Ive realized I've squandered time w going out,dating and Im like uh ohh Hope I havent screwed myself.I got to point I didnt wanna go out I was soo afraid of saying something wrong an having the whole room laugh or give ya the irkel look.Something changed the last year or so I cant stand being alone anymore,when I'm home alone it seems Im clambering the walls for some 1 to talk to or hang with.I even miss my co workers cameraderie even tho I ***** an moan I cant stand the animals at work.I also think the internet has divided people away from each other,people don't wanna be bothered w any 1 anymore.I also see intuitevly THAt 1 people have the friends an family base set up they are closed minded and don't let any 1 in there clique.They should call us the divided states of America because thats what we are on so so many levels.

ChillMike04
05-26-10, 05:31 PM
it will get better! i am currently friendless at the moment too! jsut hang in there and keep talking to the doc and keep knowing that the ones who love you are trying to understand the way you feel to the best of their ability... remember that everyone has their own problems too.. just let the number of responses here let you know that there are plenty of people out there who can relate to you, and there's always something else out there to try.. :)

mystes
06-02-10, 04:40 AM
I do have difficulty in making friends in a real world
but in order to be strong we need to conquer our own fear
and face it

little by little, i mingled people but then to some situation I cant do it.
but i never give up to make friends.. and stand on every actions I did