View Full Version : Hi guys...

03-05-10, 12:38 AM
Didn't really know where to put this. Hi, I'm new here and I guess I'll start off by telling a little bit about myself.

I'm 14 (15 in 23 days), I was diagnosed with ADD in late October and am currently on Adderall. I have blond hair, hazel eyes, and...well, a face. :P I'm in marching band at my high school (well, I was until I got kicked out for bad grades...), and I played cymbals. I want to play snare next year, and think I can do it, but we'll see. I had no friends until high school, where I have many, but fear that I am losing them. This is due in part to this relationship that I took too seriously and was crushed when she broke up with me. That was two months ago, and I still feel...I don't know. It's like a mixture of guilt, loneliness, neediness, regret, and just a bunch of stuff. The actual relationship only lasted 3 weeks, but as it was my first relationship, I had no idea what I was doing. It mostly consisted of texting, and we met at a fundraiser and hugged and I gave her her Christmas present, which she loved, and she seemed like she really liked me. That was when things got weird. Suddenly I was too worried that I would say the wrong thing that I ended up not saying anything at all. So, a few weeks later I finally started talking and it was great. That very day she broke up with me after school. Just a class before, we were laughing and talking and hugging...and I still have no idea what I did wrong. I am really not dealing with it well, however, and since then I've been less open and once again became socially withdrawn. I feel like my friends don't want to be around me, because when I finally open up I just feel like I'm being a jerk. It doesn't help that I got kicked out of band, which is probably one of the most important things in my life right now.

Enough rambling; I'm here because I am so awkward that eventually no one will want to be around me, which is affecting my already low self-esteem/confidence, which makes my grades slip. So here I am, reaching out to anyone else with social withdrawal or anyone that can help me. As hard as it is for me to do, I am asking for help.

03-09-10, 10:48 PM
hey, Jeremy!

Welcome to ADDF :)

Did you ask her why she broke up with you? If not, give that a try. She's the only person who really knows her reason(s).

Hang in there; it takes time to heal. Hang out with friends, keep yourself busy and get out there and have fun. Try to not focus on feeling awkward and/or not confident. One thing that's important - "fake it 'til you make it" fake confidence if you have to to get past this.
Try to stop dwelling on this girl, 'cause there will be more.

Take care!

03-10-10, 02:14 AM
My ex broke up with me in the same way. I had for months been worried about saying the wrong thing and when I was starting to feel like everything was better he broke up with me on his birthday.
I was really upset, but I moved on, maybe 9 months later. Now I can't believe that I actually felt that way about him.
Don't worry, you're young. You'll find someone else.

03-13-10, 03:27 PM
Hey Jeremy - I am quite a bit older than you but our life stories sound eerily similar. I would like to offer you this advice, take it how you will;

her breaking up with you has absolutely nothing to do with is all her.

This is not an easy lesson to learn nor is this time in your life always an easy time...but you will get through it...and you will do it brilliantly!

I started off in band playing the cymbals, moved up to drums, then french horn. Stick to it! Learning to read music is an invaluable gift and tool.

PS - try to learn to play guitar...people love a guitar player.

03-22-10, 09:07 PM
Haha nice to meet another band kid. Sorry I haven't been on lately--I've been really busy with school stuff.

Anyway, thank you all so much for your advice; it really helped. :) I actually really branched out recently because a couple of weeks ago I heard the drum captain of our drumline playing an exercise that I recognized so I played along. A lot of people were watching, but somehow I didn't become nervous. By the end everyone was amazed and encouraged me to try out for snare next year. I guess you could say that got rid of my low confidence and now I take every day as a challenge to accomplish as many things as possible. It's quite a change from last year. :)

04-21-10, 07:38 AM
Yeah my longest has been 3 months.
It does take time to heal but you will feel a little better.