View Full Version : My 4 year old

03-07-10, 09:42 PM
I had some early concerns when he was about two, but at two it's difficult anyway lol. When he turned 3 his pediatrician expressed some concerns himself as just getting him into the office was/is a battle, he referred him for an evaluation, but I held off on it because he was going to be starting preschool in a few weeks and wanted to see if they raised any concerns, within a month his teacher was reccomending an evaluation (I said nothing about my concerns until the pedi. and teacher brought the issue up) So the school had someone come into the classroom and do an evaluation, they couldn't complete it because of his behavior, and referred him to the place the doctor had referred him to, they set up the evaluation as well as an appointment with a child psychologist. Still waiting on one final meeting for the eval., the tests from his psychologist were done, and I received his report. It said he tested quite high for ADHD & ODD.

I am at my wits end. Today he unlocked his window and jumped out while I was still sleeping. Nothing works to correct his behavior, I have to find ways of securing everything, doors, windows, rooms. He has destroyed to dressers, I can't count how many sheets, even his favorite toys. I feel like he's going to destroy my home. I hate having to keep him and my home under constant lockdown, for fear he's going to injure himself or worse.

How did you handle things when your kids were younger? It doesn't help that I am a single mom and also have an almost 2 year old daughter, their dad yells at me and talks bad about me in front of them too.

I don't know anymore what to do!!!

Going crazy in Maine,

03-22-10, 05:33 PM
I can relate to the "crazy" part; I was a single mom of three, two of them being little monsters... :oP

I don't know what kind of services are available where you live, but on a brief search on parent support groups in Maine, I found this site which may at least be able to connect you with someone who can point you in the right direction. (they have a brochure you can read online).

Didn't the psychologist create some kind of plan or go over some behavior modification strategies to start addressing your son's behavior and your concerns? They may want to exhaust all options before putting him on medications at such a young age... but maybe not if they feel he will get more out of the behavior therapy if he is actually paying attention and able to listen...that was the deciding factor with my son at age 5 anyway. Before medication, behavior modification was no use at all...nothing worked, not timeouts, not revoking priveleges...
I'm not saying that it will be the same for your son, it was just my experience. If I had to do it over, I would have considered medication earlier if the doctor thought it would benefit him.

I wish I could be of more help, but all I really have is "I getcha". I absolutely understand.

PS Your ex yelling at you and talking poorly about you in front of the kids is abusive and its not helping your son learn how to behave respectfully either, but you already know that...hope you can find a way to diminish that aspect somehow. I know it's not easy dealing with people like that. *sigh*

03-23-10, 12:46 PM
I might suggest Play Therapy. This a therapy designed for working with small children. It can be quite helpful with this age.

You might ask either the ped or the psychologist if they know of anyone locally that they have had success with.

I strongly believe that you need to be involved in working with the therapist to help you gain the skills to set limits with your child and how to help them grow and develop.

Find out how the therapist works with this type situation and go from there.

Here is possible source of finding someone.

Play Therapist listing

Good luck. I raised an ADHD child and it is very much the struggle.


03-28-10, 05:47 AM
Oh yes melby, you need a behaviour therapist. You can't do it all on your own and expect to stay sane! I'm in the same boat and I would be a basket case without my kids therapist, she helps me with strategies to manage them and she reminds me that I'm not a monster. Every mother needs to hear that, especially when you don't have support.