View Full Version : Need some Advice on my son please :(


clairexox22
03-17-10, 06:30 PM
Hi I have a so who is nearlly 4, who's soon going to see a psychiatrist. but was hoping for your advice..

It started when he was 2 years old, he woke up screaming one night, the next day he told me he made a friend named jena jena, told me she had a black bird, and that she sits in his bedroom and plays with him, and gives Him yogurts, He also told me this jena jena hated my other 2 children.

Well since that day he's gone from bad to worse. He's trashed my kitchen, He's escaped out the the front door (found the house key) when i was asleep about 5am to Play football. and catch a bus?.
Its been 2 years since this jena jena imaginary friend started, and he still insists shes real. He started Nursery, He's coming home telling me his teachers have hit him, One day he came home really happy telling me he had hit and kicked his teacher, he was really proud of himself.
I had a word with his teacher. he didnt do nothing like that, he tells ALOT of lies.. but to him they are not lies. its like its reality to him.. he makes up so many realistic storys.

His school said he is fine, until the last Hour of school. then he starts throwing and stuff.
I took him for some help, and he told the lady that i spoke to 'Im going to drive a car fast so my mummy will be dead' Belive me that hurt me so much, He has told me He wants me dead, he's going to kill me with a knife out the kitchen, or take me to the doctors so they can shoot me. but then he says its ok mum i will fix you back together again.
1 minute a 4 year old wants me dead and explains graficially how he is going to do it. next minute its like he never said it.
He told me his friend isn't at school he's had to go to the Hospital. I asked him why, His reply was "Because i punched him in the face and now hes bleeding"

The school and myself are now refering him to a psychologist.
I got told its like he has 2 different minds.. one is reality another is made up.. he can be such a good kid.. and sometimes watch tv for a while or Play.. then want to Jump off anything he can,

Im lost. so Lost i dont know what to do anymore, or who to go to.. or what this could be. i blame myself. i need some advice. why or where a 4 year old gets all this graffic information from.. or his swear words. his screaming.. or his so realistic story lies. thank you for reading.

SuzzanneX
03-17-10, 06:40 PM
I'm afraid to give advice on children, since, I don't have kids, I have no experience.
.....I just want to wish you luck and assure you....someone will have the knowledge to
respond....
....just keep checking back...and don't give up.

ltonto
03-18-10, 11:23 AM
I also have a four year old with an extrememly vivid imagination, she is convinced that ,monkeys and pirates come and play in her room at night , they all have there own name which only she knows. I take the same verbal pull down from her, I hate you , wish you would die, wish you lived in another house and all the tall tales about throwing me off a bridge and then being a doctor and fixing me.
Radther than telling us to ignore it, our behaviour nurse has encouraged us to play along. Sometimes kids with problems are unhappy with certain things or even unhappy in certain circumstances and their reaction to this is to create the little world where they can be king.
The greatest thing we have found is the word "sad" we dont tell her that we would miss her if we died or even raise our voice just that mummy is very sad that she doesnt love her lots. Its been 3 weeks now and when the mood swings start the word usually allows her to sit back and think about the consequences ( as much as she can at her age).
She still has her own little world but its kept to herself because the fact that we play along takes the mystery away, and after all whats the point in adveture if boring mum and dad know all about it.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you realise that most of the things he says he doesnt really understand the true meaning of, you are his mum and he loves you.
When things all started too get too much for me the best thing too know was that I was not alone and my child wasnt completely different.
So rest assured, you are not alone and when you feel as if youre at rock bottom, things can only go up the way .
xx

Dizfriz
03-18-10, 03:32 PM
Something to keep in mind is that to a 3-4 year old reality and fantasy are almost totally merged. It is all real to him. Barney is just as real as you or I. His imaginary friend (this is rather normal at this age by the way) is also likely quite real to him.

What I suggest for a child this age is Play Therapy from a qualified Play Therapist. This is really the only therapy considered appropriate for this young.

You can find a listing for them at http://www.a4pt.org/directory.cfm

Look for licensed mental health professionals with Registered Play Therapist (RPT) or Supervisor (RPT-S) credentials. Most insurances will cover this.

You might also ask the Psychiatrist for a referral to someone known to be trained and trusted.

Good luck. One of the best tools for helping children are involved parents determined to find out what is going on with their child.

Dizfriz

Scooter77
03-28-10, 05:56 AM
Hi I have a so who is nearlly 4, who's soon going to see a psychiatrist. but was hoping for your advice..

It started when he was 2 years old, he woke up screaming one night, the next day he told me he made a friend named jena jena, told me she had a black bird, and that she sits in his bedroom and plays with him, and gives Him yogurts, He also told me this jena jena hated my other 2 children.

Well since that day he's gone from bad to worse. He's trashed my kitchen, He's escaped out the the front door (found the house key) when i was asleep about 5am to Play football. and catch a bus?.
Its been 2 years since this jena jena imaginary friend started, and he still insists shes real. He started Nursery, He's coming home telling me his teachers have hit him, One day he came home really happy telling me he had hit and kicked his teacher, he was really proud of himself.
I had a word with his teacher. he didnt do nothing like that, he tells ALOT of lies.. but to him they are not lies. its like its reality to him.. he makes up so many realistic storys.

His school said he is fine, until the last Hour of school. then he starts throwing and stuff.
I took him for some help, and he told the lady that i spoke to 'Im going to drive a car fast so my mummy will be dead' Belive me that hurt me so much, He has told me He wants me dead, he's going to kill me with a knife out the kitchen, or take me to the doctors so they can shoot me. but then he says its ok mum i will fix you back together again.
1 minute a 4 year old wants me dead and explains graficially how he is going to do it. next minute its like he never said it.
He told me his friend isn't at school he's had to go to the Hospital. I asked him why, His reply was "Because i punched him in the face and now hes bleeding"

The school and myself are now refering him to a psychologist.
I got told its like he has 2 different minds.. one is reality another is made up.. he can be such a good kid.. and sometimes watch tv for a while or Play.. then want to Jump off anything he can,

Im lost. so Lost i dont know what to do anymore, or who to go to.. or what this could be. i blame myself. i need some advice. why or where a 4 year old gets all this graffic information from.. or his swear words. his screaming.. or his so realistic story lies. thank you for reading.
You must be so stressed. I went through a similar experience when my son was that age. I started to wonder if I was raising a psychopath. I found a lovely behaviour therapist who made a world of difference. Sometimes children that young just can't express themselves appropriately, it can be a rough ride. Stay strong and try not to take it to heart, which is easier said than done I know. We take the worst out on the people we know we are safest with.