06-16-04, 01:00 PM
the answeres I seek are not about me but about my spouse. We have been together for 5 years and in the beginning all was great. He moved in with me after dating for a short time. Shortly after that he stopped mediacating himself for his add. He says that it doesn't help him and he over dosed on his meds acouple of times and now chooses not to medicate himself again. The change he went through after meds was great, and very noticable to me. His behavior and attitude twards me changed. Now we don't really get along and his ability to communicate with me is almost none. I want to change this before I go crazy and can't take it anymore. I'm getting to the point im my marraige where all I want to do is run away from it all. I keep trying to suggest things like theapy, or writting letters to me to talk but even that seems to only last a couple days. How do you deal with a spouse that has add?
06-16-04, 07:09 PM
I'm sorry to hear about the trouble with your husband, but you've done the right thing by taking the first step to express your feelings and not bottle it up inside.
Relationships are tough, they take a lot of work and sometimes they don't run smoothly. I would suggest that you first decide in your mind exactly what you would like to see happen with your husband. What would make the situation better? I'm assuming you would like to see your husband back on medication so that he is easier to communicate with.
Then, after you've done that, listen to your emotions, and know exactly how you feel about this situation. Are you angry, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, confused, hurt? Think of all these things and be aware of the impact they're having on you. When you've done these two things, you're ready to approach him.
From this position, you can communicate with him openly and honestly about how you feel. You've taken the time to consider your thoughts and emotions and now you can discuss them with him. Ask him if he can sit down with you one night to talk about something that's been on your mind. Then, when you actually do sit down with him, explain that you are concerned about the situation and why you're concerned and discuss how you can possibly correct it. Hopefully, your husband will listen to you and want to do something to make it better.
As far as your husband's medication goes, perhaps he could discuss with his doctor other medications that don't run the same risk of over-dosing. There are other medications available that do not require you to take them several times a day. His doctor should be able to help with this.
I hope this helps in some small way. There are lots of great people here that can help, so never think you're alone.