View Full Version : Making the best of your ADD/ADHD....
06-20-04, 01:03 AM
I realize I'm new here and am slowly but surely trying to absorb all of the quality information that these forums hold but I just wanted to throw this idea out for dicussion. I recognize the fact a great deal of people, with and without ADD look at their condition as some sort of setback, and others regret the years "lost" after being diagnosed, medicated, or what have you. My take on the situation is this, yes you, I, we have an attention disorder and maybe things might have been better for us if the problem had addressed appropriately earlier in our lives but think about all of the "normal" (sarcasm, somewhat) people that go through life with nothing clinically wrong with them that experience the same lackluster results from different obstacles as we have, I take it all for what it's worth, I would say the majority of people throughout the world may have thought their life would play itself out differently than it did, but ultimately that shouldn't stop you from making the best of it that you can, afterall, you're only given one shot at it.
For the first time in my life I can atleast say to myself that I have hit a turning point in that now I understand how I function and that I am actively working toward bettering myself and my way of life with each day that passes, and I imagine that most of you are as well as you wouldn't be here if you weren't interested in learning more about how you function or simply finding out how other people cope with issues you yourself might be facing.
I don't know, ultimately what I'm trying to say is no one has a perfect in life, but atleast in our cases we've made it this far, atleast we now understand what we understand the problem even if we may not possess the absolute solution. I think it might benefit us all, and please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but if we were to all take a minute to consider the fact that we are in many ways fortunate at this point as there are still so many people that suffer from an illness that they may not even even know exists or have the slightest clue might be effecting them -- in that respect I feel as though we should all feel proud and accomplished, and at the very least give ourselves credit for just how far we've made it already, despite whatever age you be. I feel as though even if you're in your 50's and have just been diagnosed you can still lead a wonderful and fulfilling life as anything negative you may have experienced up until that point has more than likely only made you a stronger person, and even if it hasn't, it should in no way make you feel inferior to anyone else as like I said, I truly believe everyone has their own set of problems to deal with in life. Sorry for rambling but I felt the need to post this. :)
Well said! I would disagree only with the assessment of ADD as an "Illness", but then many disagree with me on that, and it is simply a matter of opinion. One thing that is certain, whether one views ADD as a "true" pathologically rooted disorder or not, it certainly has a negative impact on the function of the individuals it affects in modern societies. So, in that sense, it is quite assuredly a problem, and one that we all must learn to cope with.
I appreciate your attitude so much though because the tendency is so often for people to get stuck in the "I'm broken" thought process and stay there. I simply refuse to think of myself as broken. The majority of "REAL" problems I have on a day to day basis because of my ADD now are because of coping strategies that simply no longer work, and maybe never did. They did the job they were implemented for, namely self protection, but they got in the way of learning the skills I needed to negotiate a linear thinking world. More importantly, they re-enforced my low self esteem, and weakened my communication skills with non-adders. The end result? My most pressing current problems aren't nuerological at all (except perhaps the continuing hypersensitivity), but the consequence of my own efforts at self protection. In short, I put myself in a spot I am now digging my way out of. It's a painful process, but in the end will be worth it. If only because the only load I carry then will be my own "stuff" and not years worth of other people's issues.
I'm with you medeski.. it's taken a long time but just now anyway I feel like there are many reasons to be grateful for the path I've travelled to get this far. I have done a lot of work throughout my life to address what I saw as impediments to the disease with which I seem to have journeyed through the years. The meds, Dex in my case seem to have helped create a window of insight. Intense physical exercise is at least an equal partner.
Over the last month I've been celebrating my abilities to get into the mind and soul of my youngest daughter who will be eleven in September. I don't know why it didn't click before but now I'm able to see so clearly that she's just like me. It's been remarkable to engage and encourage her like never before. I think the change scared her at first but now at least she's all over me like a cheap suit. She knows I travel at her speed and that I see the world much like she does. I am nothing short of thrilled to be of so much more use to her than when I was feeling crippled by my ADHD. It's an asset if I choose to use it.
Thanks for posting. It was good for me. < g >
Here's to looking forward but not forgetting where we came from! Ian
06-21-04, 11:10 PM
Well said! I would disagree only with the assessment of ADD as an "Illness", ..
The majority of "REAL" problems I have on a day to day basis because of my ADD now are because of coping strategies that simply no longer work, and maybe never did. They did the job they were implemented for, namely self protection, but they got in the way of learning the skills I needed to negotiate a linear thinking world. More importantly, they re-enforced my low self esteem, and weakened my communication skills with non-adders.
I didn't necessarily mean that I associate ADD as an "illness" persay but more so that people are effected by illnesses, not just ADD, without any knowledge to the fact that they are, and by my statement I meant atleast we are lucky enough to have an initial understanding of why we might do or respond to the certain things on a daily basis, and as a result all I'm saying is hey...let's atleast make the best we can out of it as ultimately we're the only ones who can initiate a change for the better, others can help but it's constantly and most importantly always up to us to make the first steps each morning. Does that make sense? I'm not always the best with communicating clear ideas but I'm working with it ;)
Also, itschaotic, it's inspiring to hear you're working with your daughter as you are....That's something that you should truly feel proud about as not only have you took control of your life but are now going an extra step beyond even what most of us have, no offense to anyone intended, and are influencing a change for the better in someone else. I know many parents often say that they want to help their children have a better life than they had growing up and I'm sure you can feel some sort of comfort in the fact that you truly are each and every day. Keep fighting the good fight!
I think I get your gist... :-) A fault I have myself all too often. Just ask anyone on these boards. ;-)
I think once we get used to each other, it will no longer be a "fault" we share persay, more like recognized implied communications shortcuts. With some people it's almost as though I don't need to complete a thought and they've got it... With most it seems as though they're missing something in my thought (which indeed they often are, as it's been pointed out to me that I often seem to start ideas out completely in my head, as though having a conversation with myself, and then finish them vocally and not realize I haven't said the whole thing aloud... Go figure. I never realized I did that regularly until I attended "group CBT therapy").
In anycase, your positive outlook is most welcome here!
*Applauds medeski's post*
12-08-04, 06:06 PM
E-boy i have had the same thing happen to me sitting in class and just thinking to myself and then say something it is acutly quite funny at times
Captain Da Da
02-24-05, 06:01 PM
Let me say,first of all, the Autobots rule!:cool:
I agree with you on your points, I'm just going through a tough time right now. I've been diagnosed ADD... and there is no doubt that I have it, but I had a more alrming diagnosis come up in 2000 (schizoidal type). The doctors then found out that was wrong (trust me. I was a little ticked off when I found out I had been on the wrong meds for 4 years:rolleyes: ), so I'm now bi-polar with a mood disorder. I really believe that I've been through so many doctors that they need to reaccess me. I do not know how to go about this. I'm pretty certain that my ADD was ignored for too long (I wasn't medicated for it for a long time) that it brought little "disorder buddies".
I've been diagnosed ADD... and there is no doubt that I have it, but I had a more alrming diagnosis come up in 2000 (schizoidal type). The doctors then found out that was wrong (trust me. I was a little ticked off when I found out I had been on the wrong meds for 4 years:rolleyes: ), so I'm now bi-polar with a mood disorder. I really believe that I've been through so many doctors that they need to reaccess me. I do not know how to go about this. I'm pretty certain that my ADD was ignored for too long (I wasn't medicated for it for a long time) that it brought little "disorder buddies".
Precisely why I don't trust psychiatrists, I really don't think they have a clue.
Apologies if this offends anyone, but it's been my experience, not so much me firsthand, but my ex, who has had all of the above diagnoses except ADD. It just seems like "here, take a pill" and see if it works.
I think the only reason ADD is a probem for any of us is that we don't conform to societal norms. I am quite happy on my own, for the most part. Though I do enjoy intimacy, I find close relationships generally more cause me too much stress, I have never felt that I met other people's expectations.
Psychiatrists, coaches, medical professionals, car mechanics all come in different shades of quality.
Generalising serves no useful purpose. I like all kinds of music because there is good quality to be found in almost every genre of music. I'm not an opera fan but even that's changed recently. I found an opera fan here and asked for help in getting introduced. She won and I found a way into opera.
It's not all psychiatrists that are a problem. Many times in the past it's been my ignorance in not being able to appreciate what they are trying to tell me. That goes for car mechanics too actually.
I often see this same frustration expressed with teachers. Parents somehow think that teachers have come to the table with a university education and years of experience teaching without learning a dang thing. It's just not true most of the time.
An open mind is the very essence of intellect. We can learn from even the most dim witted amongst us.
Pompus butt. Ian.
04-08-05, 01:07 AM