View Full Version : please help with some advice/3year old


LoveSoCal06
04-11-10, 08:41 PM
hi im a mom of a 3 year old girl and i have adult adhd...she acts almost the exact same way as i did when i was little and im not sure sometimes if she might get older and develop some not so great habbits like i did starting school and all. i in no way want to start her on meds of anykind and just want to know what to watch out for and how to make her surroundings more comfortable for her so she gets less frustrated and how to make sure her father and i know how to act with her as far as disaplin and activities for her. any answers will be much appreciated. im new to adhd myself and i am on medication for it that helps but i dont want to put her on medication when shes older if we can help it. thanks!

Krys.
04-11-10, 11:26 PM
Well she's 3 so she's going to test limits and get frustrated when things don't work how she wants them to. It can be hard to distinguish ADHD from normal childhood behaviors at that age. You said "she acts almost the exact same way as i did when i was little " What sorts of things is she doing that have you concerned?

LoveSoCal06
04-11-10, 11:59 PM
well im not so concerned about now because i know she is 3 and a lot of her crazyness is normal right now. my mom tells me that shes a lot like me and so i kinda worry only about when shes older her having adhd also. so i guess my question would be more like what kind of things do you do differently with a young child with adhd than one without it? shes very very hyper right now more so than her friends and i always feel like im having to intertain her or shes doing something crazy, maybe thats normal for a 3 year old also but if she does end up getting it without putting her on meds what kind of structure do you have to have for them? im sorry its hard for me to explain my question basically im asking about the (maybe future) lol thanks!

michinyuja
04-12-10, 04:31 AM
Wow. What a good mommy!

One thing I like to point out to parents is that their children are basically the combination of two people's DNA. That is a very powerful thing. Anything that your child doesn't take after you in...she probably takes after her father! Food likes/dislikes, physical characteristics, personality, habits, emotional reactions...everything.

So the best way to teach your child is by looking at yourselves. Ask yourselves, your family members, and your friends for advice about the things that are causing problems. You'll probably learn a lot about yourself in the process!

And then you can research those things in particular. For example, the need for attention. I find this a lot in ADHD types who are naturally extremely charismatic. This is a HUGELY marketable talent, if you recognize it and raise her to use it wisely. Were you very popular growing up? =P I bet you were!

Many entertainers naturally crave attention. How else do you survive being in the spotlight all the time? I am definitely not like this. I could never be an entertainer. But if you ARE an entertainer, what's wrong with always wanting to be surrounded by people who admire you and pay attention to you? Right?

I'm definitely not saying turn your child into a show kid. Please don't do that! @_@ But it's never too early to start her singing and dancing! Personally, if you're going the public school route, high schools for the Arts are so much better for creative children than regular ones. And if she starts singing, dancing, or doing similar activities now, she'll be burning more energy during the day.

Good luck!

LoveSoCal06
04-12-10, 05:58 AM
Thank you so much, your answer was great! and your right thats exactly the reason i want to make sure i try and give her a balanced life growing up for HER needs so she doesnt develop lots of frustration wich leads to other neg things later on in life.....i am the kind of person especially because i went so many years having adhd and not knowing it that i had a lot of that frustration and bad grades and such and my mom just thought i wasnt doing what i should have been when i was actually having a very hard time i want to inform myself as much as poss sooner than later is all for my kids and i have seen that she has sooooo much energy that she gets into a lot more trouble when shes couped up inside....sometimes i cant help it because rain/snow/husband has car but we try and get her out to the park/store anywhere she can walk or play to burn some of that off and she is usually really good while were out. she is on a pretty routine scedual everyday and that has also helped. timeout is great too since she hates not being able to run around lol and i started timeouts as soon as she could walk and deserve one lol. i dont mean to go on tho i know everyone can do that about there kids but i do have one thing that i have a question about....i have homelife pretty controlled with her and while were out DOING something but she doesnt really interact with any other kids because there arnt any right around us really. We have 5 dogs and she pretends a lot to be a dog so im worried that shes learning from the wrong species on how to act lol are there any classes or something she could do to meet and interact with other kids her age? it would be nice for her to learn to share better thats for sure!

Krys.
04-12-10, 12:20 PM
There are some pretty basic things to be sure that you do. 1 would be consistency. ADD or not, a child needs to be able to know the consequences (be they good or bad) of their actions with 100% accuracy. Schedules and routines are great. So are age appropriate chores. At her age there are a lot of things she can help with but not much she should necessarily be expected to do on her own. Also, be sure that she gets enough sleep and has a well balanced diet. I can't help you much with the discipline part because what works for one kid might not work for another... I can say that whatever route you take with that, remember to be consistent. For example: if something is off limits it should ALWAYS be off limits, not just off limits when it's convenient to do something about. Otherwise, she will just be confused and always testing the same things. Not sure if any of this helps or not but I hope so.
Krys.

Some research suggests limiting tv is a good thing too. It has to do with the way the rapidly changing images on screen train their young brain to process info at high speeds thus causing problems with their ability to process info at a slower pace when they need to later.

MuscleMama
04-12-10, 12:45 PM
"Parenting with Love & Logic" is an excellent book :)

LoveSoCal06
04-12-10, 01:33 PM
There are some pretty basic things to be sure that you do. 1 would be consistency. ADD or not, a child needs to be able to know the consequences (be they good or bad) of their actions with 100% accuracy. Schedules and routines are great. So are age appropriate chores. At her age there are a lot of things she can help with but not much she should necessarily be expected to do on her own. Also, be sure that she gets enough sleep and has a well balanced diet. I can't help you much with the discipline part because what works for one kid might not work for another... I can say that whatever route you take with that, remember to be consistent. For example: if something is off limits it should ALWAYS be off limits, not just off limits when it's convenient to do something about. Otherwise, she will just be confused and always testing the same things. Not sure if any of this helps or not but I hope so.
Krys.

Some research suggests limiting tv is a good thing too. It has to do with the way the rapidly changing images on screen train their young brain to process info at high speeds thus causing problems with their ability to process info at a slower pace when they need to later.

thanks, very helpful! i do have her help me with picking her own toys up before her afternoon nap and pick her toys up out of the livingroom at night before bath and bed, she takes a bath at the same time at night and goes right to her room for bed after that so she knows its time. so im pretty good on the being consistant with a routine but she does watch her shows during the afternoon while she plays in the livingroom and i clean up the kitchen and such and im not really worried about the tv thing she loves scooby doo and it calms her down before her nap. now the thing you said about making sure that if something is off limits one time it should always be....that you make sense on and i will start doing for sure, made me think i am guilty of doing that too.....so thank you for the help on that one!