I'm a parent of a nine year old boy with ADHD. I've noticed that it's exceptionally hard to get teachers to communicate with me on a consistent basis. Since I work full time, I rely on notes, emails, daily report cards, etc. to inform me of how my son is doing and daily feedback is crucial with an ADHD child (as most of you know). However, the teacher often gets too busy to send me and email or note every day so instead I receive a note maybe once every week or two. Also, these notes usually indicate a problem and I rarely receive one congratulating him for a job well done. Do any of you have a problem with receiving consistent communication (daily or at least every other day) from the teacher? Is it just me who feels like asking for daily communication is waaaay too much? I know they have to follow the IEP, but shouldn't they want to do this?

I worked as special ed assistant in a middle school and I know most of the teachers had a vey hard time communicating with parents. But, these teachers had 125 students to deal with on a daily basis so I could really see their frustrations. But, I would think that an elementary schooll teachers would only have about 25 or so students to deal with daily.

With that being said teachers for the most part don't really communicate with parents unless there is an issue. There are also many parents who unfortunatly are fine with not hearing from teachers.

I don't think that asking for daily communication is too much. You may even want to consider having it written into your son's IEP. I would definetly ask for daily communication and follow up when you not getting the communcation that you want. A lot of things do fall through the crack in the school sytems and will probably even get worse when he gets into the higher grades unless you are persistant and even demanding.

I agree completely. In my case, I was initially spoiled by having my son in ECSE preschool. They had one teacher and two aides for a class of six or seven children. I got daily feedback, and really got to know the teacher well. I also felt completely confident that she knew my child and his needs. Then came public school kindergarten, and though the teacher sent home a brief weekly "newsletter" to let us know what the kids were doing, I felt I no longer knew what was going on. It took a lot of effort on my part to reach the teacher, and I always had the feeling that she didn't really want to talk to parents if she didn't have to. No doubt she was under a lot of pressure. But since I know my child is different, I have to keep bugging the teachers to make sure I know what's going on!

Here I go walking the line down the middle, forgive me.

As a teacher, it is often difficult to give in-depth information about thing on a daily basis. Elementary teachers in the US are often have little time at the end of the day to sit down and report on the daily progress of one individual student. When I was teaching 4th and 5th grades several years ago, I would get between 20 to 60 minutes a day without being in a supervisory position that would prevent me from being able to make a detailed report. Currently, teaching Junior High, daily reports are difficult to do because of the time it takes away from the teaching process and assisting other students.

Now, that being said, lets flip the coin. As parent with a child with ADHD, I don't think that asking for some info on how the day went is being unreasonable. The devil is in the details of such a report - if you want a detailed, blow by blow report, you're going to have difficulty getting that from most teachers because of the time and effort that it would involve. It's not a matter of personally taking the time to do it, its more because that time and effort gets sucked up by the other tasks of teaching and the kids are going home before the chance comes up to do it. I have found that most teachers are willing to quickly give a "good" or "bad" day response if it is something that can be done quickly with out too much time taken to do it.

As far as e-mail goes, most parents get a better response if they e-mail the teacher and let the teacher just reply. Many times, so much is going on that remembering to write an e-mail can be hard to do.

If the teacher is aware of why the reports are needed and still doesn't repond to your efforts to make it as simple as possible, then I think a discussion with the school principal is more than due. Just remember to document you efforts and dates and times you have had conferences with the teacher about this so that the teacher can't wiggle off the hook. Unfortunately, to some teachers, teaching is just a job and the impact they have on a child is easily ignored or overlooked.

Sincerely,
PershingD

Thanks so much everyone for responding. I've been working on a web-based form of communication that the teacher and parent could log into to communicate. It's a sort of online daily report card that the teacher can click a few bubbles and/or type a short comment. The parent can sign on to retrieve the feedback and respond back. All of this communication would be stored in a database so that you could track progress, etc. I'm fairly certain that parents would be willing to use this type of database, but do you think teachers would?

You can sign me up. I'm sure that you could find teachers that would be willing to use it, but if you want the teachers to use it regardless of whether they want to or not, sell the school administrators on the idea. After all, ignoring a parent's request and ignoring your boss's request are handled on entirely different levels.

Let me know when you get it up - I'd like to check it out.

PershingD

In the meantime you could try the simplest form of communication...What we did was make a graph with writing room...days of the week and subjects. That way my children's teacher just jots down what needs worked on whether it be behavioural or academic. If there were no behaviours and no trouble with their school work we provided the teacher's with stickers to give the children at the end of the day. The kids also started using the paper themselves to jot down notes about what subjects they had homework and so forth in. I have a link that will give you the specifics on how to make one on my other computer and will send it tommorrow.

I also have a lot of print outs for rewards. What we did was give them to the teacher and for a week of good behaviours and their homework being done on time everyday they were rewarded at the end of the week. Both teachers used the system for ALL their students and the parent's were enlisted for help (believe it or not teacher's barely live above poverty level in many states) My children's teacher would place a call to that week's parent if all the kids in the classroom had gotten their good behaviour award the parent's would then bring a snack and drink for each child. If all the student's got their homework done and handed in on time they were given another reward. So, when everything was done...Friday's about an hour before school got out they got to have a snack and pop in class (a big deal for my kids) and play educational games (they don't care what type the game is...they just know they are getting out of work and are usually satisfied).

What we noticed were a major drop in behavioural difficulties in class and during recess and WE noticed at home that there were far less battles at home to get homework done...all we had to do was remind them they will be explaining to the classroom why they are not having their party on Friday.

Thanks for the advice. I've only posted a few messages in this forum, but I've always found people to be so helpful. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'll keep you guys posted on the online communication site. I should have more information on it in the next couple of weeks.

Thank you K. I wish you the very best of luck.

I'm in the process of working with my childs 2nd grade teacher. We have just started doing the sticker thing but I would also like some other ideas to bring up to her to rotate in. I would appreciate any ideas!!!!! Thanks.

Party charts are fun ways for kids to earn an extra party thru the school year...

The teacher sets certain rules...everyone's homework is done on time, no fighting, disruptive behaviour. Basically it's issue's that are disruptive to class time and deal with all the children in general and NOT just pin point your child. At the end of the week/month if the whole chart is colored in the teacher ends class on Friday just a little early and parents take turns sending treats and drinks for the entire class and they get to play learning games for the last 30-45 minutes of class time.

It was hard at first to get regular communication - from first grade. My boys teacher was sending home a sheet of paper in his homework folder and this was too easy to misplace (intentionally or accidentally). In 2nd grade, we went to a bound paperback book where pages can be added. I expect to get this every day and I do usually. If I don't I know that the boy has probably left it behind on purpose so I don't see how his day went - but this doesn't happen too often because he knows I expect it and he will lose his TV or Gameboy priveledge if he doesn't bring it home.
The top half of the page contains academic and social goals that the teacher, his support team and us (his parents) agree on in monthly meetings. The bottom half includes Homework sent home and homework returned. It also contains an area for the teacher and I to exchange notes, concerns and tips on just about anything. Example below:

Daily Log
I came to morning meeting Y N N/A
I greeted the students sitting next to me Y N N/A
I cooperated with my reading tutor Y N N/A
I kept my hands to myself Y N N/A
I read quietly during independent reading Y N N/A

Homework sent home tonight Y N N/A
Homework was returned today Y N N/A

This form lets us see when he is making good progress on his goals. It seems to fall in between minute detail and just an overall impression. It makes it easy for the teacher to quickly give us a quick rundown on his more important goals and these are all we work on - we don't count other behavioral transgressions against him. After he has mastered a goal we look to our list of future goals and choose some during the PPT-like meetings we have and adjust his chart. We keep the list of goals short, understandable and pick some goals that we are sure he can consistently achieve - this is to make it more of a positive tool than a negative one and to help build his self esteem in the process.

My little guy tries really hard to meet these goals and we have seen positive improvement using this system.

Hope this helps,
Judy

Hello I am new to this forum.I am having difficulties with my 9year old son's teacher.Due to adhd memory and organization is very limited.I wrote his teacher a note asking if she could check his homework sheet to be sure he writes everything down.I can't make him do homework if I don't know he has it.She wrote me back and said it was not a problem and she didn't mind checking his homework sheet.Well she did it three days and then there was no signature from her in his homework sheet book.Next thing I know I am getting a note from his princible telling me that my son had to sit in the office with him for the whole day.I asked my son why and he said because he left his book bag in his dad's truck which had his home work in it.My son also said that the princible only gave him 2 minutes to eat his lunch that he had to eat in his office.I called and spoke to the princible and he told me that he felt 2 minutes was enough time for him to eat since he had adhd eating fast should not be a problem.I asked the princible why all this took place and I also asked him why the teacher was not doing what she said was not a problem doing with the homework sheet.I was told he would have to speak with her on that subject.Well the next day I got a note from his teacher saying that she WOULD NOT check behind him he as well as I needed to realize that lack of memory and orginization WAS NOT part of adhd as I HAD STATED previously.I have asked for a confrence with the princible and the teacher.I need some sugestions on how to approach this confrence and if there is any laws about teachers and adhd students.Sorry this is so long and some spelling is not correct.Thank you all so much to those who can offer some help and to those that have no advice but read my thread as well.

Kimberly

Very confused and frustrated

If your son has a IEP or 504 his teachers are required by law to follow modificaiton/accomoditions listed on the IEP or 504.

checkout.................www.wrightslaw.com

Also...........The ADHD Book of Lists............by Sandra Rief. There's a complete listing of all the impairments ADHD causes to the Executive Functions.It's very important for you to become familiar with those because THEY ARE THE REASON(S) why your child can't get done in time or falls behind.

I've posted this before but it has to do with the chemical imbalances caused by ADHD.Of the 6 types of attention defined by neuropsychology, 5 involve input functions and only one involves an output function.Thats the one (Persistance or Perseverance) disrupted by ADHD. It's not that the ADHD child doesn't know what's expected, its that they can't finish (persist long enough) what they're doing without losing focus.It's more complicated than that but should be sufficient for the purpose of explaining it to the teacher.

The other thing to look into is the listing of state disability advocates on the Bigsplace home page.Find your state director and don't be afraid to ask for help.Good luck.:)

I wanted to let you know what is working for me and my son. In montlhy IEP type meetings we all sit down and define what goals we want my boy to work on next. They are decided on mutually and I get input this way. We pick no more than 4 goals at a time. We then work together to teach my boy what the goal is and how to achieve it in the school and home settings. Examples have been - "hands to yourself", Participate in morning meeting, cooperate with reading special resource teacher and etc. We work on these goals over a month and I have a daily communication log (laminated folder with preprinted goals pages). The teacher just has to circle Y or N and make a comment if she would like. Doesn't have to be long and lots of writing. Also the special resource teachers write in this book too. I get both the praise and the what he needs to work on information. At the next meeting we review the book and then either add, remove or adjust the goals if needed. Breaking it down like this has made it possible for us all to keep in contact and to see real progress in my boy's behavior, his ability to make friends and his academics this past year in second grade. I also take the daily sheets myself and summarize them into an excel spreadsheet that I supply to the school at our meetings - this makes it really easy to see trends in behavior. So they can't try to pull the wool over my eyes. We all have the same information and I don't lose sight of what has been happening as the book fills up and his teacher needs to remove the older daily log sheets.
Hope this helps.
JORDIEMOM

We also recently changed therapist for Koda since he felt he now needed a man. We did not expect such a emotional rollercoaster before he learned to trust his new therapist. His teachers started sending home notes Koda this, Koda that, Koda this when we got down to investigating it was during his first three visits to the new therapist and another eval for bi-polar disorder which he for some reason thought they were going to stick long needles into his head and nothing his doctor or us told him brought any reassurance that they were not going to stick needles in his head. In retrospect the kind thing would have been to let his teachers know what was going on so they could have been prepared for possible behaviours.

Jordiesmom,
You have some great ideas, for keeping for communicating with the school. I have a 9 year old son, with ADHD/ODD/IED and we were having a difficult time as well, with communicating with the teacher. We set up a 504, and in the 504 plan, had notes and phone calls, added in to the plan, so they can let me know, how he is doing in school. Thanks for the suggestions!

MONTHLY I.E.P. MEETINGS! :eek: :faint:

Squeeky wheel gets the oil...so if you want oil all the time you gotta be squeeky all the time, until it is a conditioned response. You could probably also get them to drool with enough reinforcement!

I'm hitting this mode at my youngests school. I'm almost to getting them to drool. The hoop you have to jump through is bigger than you think.
Evil one. Ian. Sick up and fed!

lol

Some poor teachers actually get parents like you!!

Be nice.........teachers are people too!

Oh my Johna. You should see my life. I was raised by a teacher. I married a teacher, her sister, Dad and Mum are teachers, two of my three kids want to teach and many of our friends are in education.

Teachers do get a bum rap most of the time. I'm sensitive to that, and to the general disrespect for their professional competence. I'm very conscious of the loaded responsibility they carry and how little appreciation there is for how much they do with the limited resources they have. I'm a fan of teachers and an advocate for educators. I've come to their defence on this board more than once.

Let me explain a bit about the situation. We've had three girls attend this school now. The eldest will graduate from high school this spring. We live in an impoverished sparsely populated rural area where the showers in the gym change rooms haven't worked in the nine years that we've had kids attend that school. The school does not attract the best pedagogues, nor the most visionary of administrators.

Our two eldest daughters are the school darlings. They top the academic lists and are front and centre in all the extra curricular activities. They are both plastered across the school as models of cooperation and high achievement in every aspect of their school lives.

And then there is our youngest. She was lucky to have had a good experience early in school, with some gifted teachers. She shone early, as she was anxious to shine as her sisters had done before her. As it turns out, she's just like her Papa though, and a dead ringer for ADHD.

We have softly tried to move the school to take measures to allow for Manon to have a more positive experience at school for a number of years. Their time to adapt has run out. My patience has run out, and my frustration level has gone to boiling.

Every year since her second grade (sixth grade now) she's declined in her behaviour and there have been arcane punishments and a huge lack of communication with us after repeated requests to remain in the loop, and be informed well in advance of trouble. The straw that snapped this camel's back was a phone call home about Manon having 360 minutes of detentions, and she'd have to serve an "at home" suspension for this landmark.

Not one call before the 360 minute mark? Ding!!! times up!

So with the plethora of soft sell tactics on our part and the blanket avoidance on their part to accommodate our concerns, the gloves are off now. We know the administration very well and we know a lot about the system, professionalism, the law, and what bloody well does not work. I'm so fed up with weak and lazy minds. They seem to be trying to hand me a preadolescent kid, learning a multitude of ways to act out against the same hypocrisy and idiocy that drove me to distraction when I was Manon's age and not take any responsibility for it.
Her behaviour isn't a big factor in other environments where simple accommodations have been implemented. Duh!

Please no that I'm not taking aim at you directly. I'm not. I too know teachers that suffer whinny arsed parents and myopic community pressures and have to back down, where the skills and professional wisdom of the teachers should prevail. We've been at this so long; I'm just not confused about the situation any longer, and refuse to sentence my daughter to the same self loathing I suffered from for so long. My school experience was where I honed my worst self distructive skills, but I had no 4H or other successes to fall back on for self esteem and self image.

Maybe she's not capable of plunging to the depths I managed to find, because she's had some successes in her life outside of school that have been big and public. Just this week she was written up with a cute smiling picture in two local papers for her ongoing triumphs at public speaking through 4H. If she spent most of her time in 4H instead of school, we might not be so concerned. She spends most of her time in school, and she's learning more about how to run rings around lame administration logically, than any academic aspect of that environment.

I've just had enough. You couldn't tell right? ehheh

It's over, done like toast. I'm going into an offensive posture and aiming carefully with both barrels. As passive as we have been to this point, we'll be at least as aggressive from now on. This kid is at a very vulnerable age and it's now or never for her school life. If need be I'll bring her home and teach here here. Although I think that is not the best answer to the problem. Without a complex social context, she'll be lacking a lot of what she'll need to move on and away from the home.

We have no intention of being "offensive." We don't fight like that. We make our case rationally on logic and knowledge. We don't have to put anyone down or blame anyone for the water that has past under the bridge. We don't have to chew endlessly on resentment and anger against what has transpired to date. We are free to act without being emotionally attached to the cause. Granted PU might have to bat the first inning on her own so I don't bite anyone! eheh j/k

It's not just about Manon. It's about every other kid that is being ignored because "they really shouldn't even be our responsibility" or whatever the mind set happens to be. Allowing kids that need help, to get help, in ways that only require a change in attitude not a bigger budget, would be refreshing.

For nine years we've been model parents. We have provided resources and backed the schools policies in spirit and to the letter. Now we'll do it my way for a while and see what happens.
spitball expert - Ian