View Full Version : What do I do?


Unknown
04-13-10, 06:53 AM
I found out i most likely have ADHD without hyperactivity. I got all my strength and found the courage to tell my mom. I told her and showed her some research I did and just said you dont have it I know people who have it. because shes a big person in the community I mean BIG so I thought shed undertand but no. What should I do please help?

FinallyAnswered
04-13-10, 07:55 AM
I found out i most likely have ADHD without hyperactivity. I got all my strength and found the courage to tell my mom. I told her and showed her some research I did and just said you dont have it I know people who have it. because shes a big person in the community I mean BIG so I thought shed undertand but no. What should I do please help?

That's a tough one.....can I assume you're a minor and still under her insurance?

If she has an email address, send her links to some ADD sites as well as the link to this forum. She may not get the message right away, but hopefully she will start reading about the condition.

As far as her dismissing the possibility of ADD based on "knowing people who have it", that's like me saying I know what it's like to be a black woman because I know several. I'm a big ugly white dude........lol

livinginchaos
04-13-10, 08:01 AM
how old are you? Do you need her to accept it?

Unknown
04-13-10, 03:37 PM
I will be 15 in 2 weeks and I cant email her because her email is read and she cant even get a private email last time my sister emailed her something it ended up in the newspaper. She just says I'd know if you have it youd have shown more signs as a kid and they act different from you but I have over half the symptoms and have done alot of research.

Mumble
04-15-10, 10:50 PM
You could ask a teacher at your school if they had noticed any symptoms of ADD and have them vouch for you.

meridian
04-15-10, 11:31 PM
I will be 15 in 2 weeks and I cant email her because her email is read and she cant even get a private email last time my sister emailed her something it ended up in the newspaper. She just says I'd know if you have it youd have shown more signs as a kid and they act different from you but I have over half the symptoms and have done alot of research.

It's the lack of hyperactivity that she's noticed. Your Mom has probably seen hyperactive kids and thinks of that when she thinks of AD/HD.

The field has come a long way in the past few years.

Go to some of the self assessment tests, print them out, score them and show them to your Mom and tell her you are concerned and scared (assuming you are). See if that opens up a dialog between you.

Tell her it doesn't help you to have her dismiss your concerns offhandedly and you need to have a talk.

See where that goes.

BTW, it is not unusual for parents to be the last people to "get it" so don't be surprised if it takes a little while. If you are AD/HD you may outgrow it soon (about 35% of childhood cases go away by adulthood) or you may have it as a lifelong condition.

Getting treated earlier is better than not. Show her some of the Dr. Russell Barkley videos that Sirrah (another Forumite) has posted here.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=81316

Families don't like to believe that their children or parents or siblings have an inheritable brain disorder. So give them time to adjust -- and take some time yourself.

michinyuja
04-20-10, 06:48 AM
You're 15 now, so I'll let you in on a secret you already suspected.

Parents aren't always right.

Blech. I wasted a lot of time doing things my parents made me do, only to find out that they were getting their instructions from the frikkin' mass media!!! Like, TV and stuff! And since TV is full of commercials...basically I just ended up with a lot of debt and bills and drama.

I used to have these huge screaming fights with my parents once I figured out that I needed to do things my own way, not their way. Not fun. They wanted me to do everything THEIR way.

But what helped me...I hope it'll help you too. I just did a lot of my own research - you know, on the internet, asking people. I even talked to my friends' moms sometimes. Cuz usually they know everything about you anyway, they just don't show it. =X

And then I just did what I thought was the smartest thing. If my parents complained and wanted me to do something else, but I thought it was NOT for me, then I just asked them, "Look, this isn't bad for me, and I really want to try it. Will you let me have this chance?'

I asked nicely, not screaming...and it worked. Like magic. They even let me date this guy they HATED because I asked nicely to let us just try making it work out. ^_^ And it worked out~ and now they totally love him!

So don't worry about your mom understanding right now...just figure out what YOU want in your life, and then talk her into it! =P

Scooter77
04-20-10, 07:02 AM
Ooooorrrrrrr....do some online tests, print them off, give em to your mum and try again.....persistance. For some people it can be a hard thing to hear, if you're sure then just keep trying

darkangel99
04-21-10, 07:26 AM
My dad noticed i had signs of ADD but the person i see about it thought i didn't have it until my dad told her some symptoms
so you could go and see if you can get diagnosed

Werl
05-25-10, 11:49 AM
You have ADD, you could have 80% if the symptoms and still not have it.

It all depends on who you are.

Twimm
05-25-10, 01:02 PM
Keep talking...talk to your teachers, a favorite aunt or uncle...any trusted adult that will listen to you. Do as others have suggested and take some online tests to show her. Try getting her to at least let you get tested...explain that it won't hurt either way and at the least, it would make you feel better. In a few years you will be able to handle this in the way you choose, but until then, you've got to keep trying to get her and/or your father on your side.

dm_laugh3r
05-25-10, 01:09 PM
I found out i most likely have ADHD without hyperactivity. I got all my strength and found the courage to tell my mom. I told her and showed her some research I did and just said you dont have it I know people who have it. because shes a big person in the community I mean BIG so I thought shed undertand but no. What should I do please help?

You found out? How? Self-diagnosis? How do you know it's not something else?

greenmoment
05-25-10, 02:14 PM
My mom had a hard time understanding adhd because she never heard of it in her country. She's pretty old school in her ways (from the 50's born in portugal) haha when I told her that I got diagnosed with adhd and mentioned the symptoms she originally "thought" that I had Alzheimer's. When I was younger I was doing horrible in school and she thought I just didn't want to do the work..but that wasn't the case!

Do you have other family members that you can talk to about this? Maybe there is someone close to your mother that can casually talk to her about what your going through? You might also want to find a teacher or counselor at your school that you can confide in and let them know whats going on.

I hope this helps!