View Full Version : Is being bullied common with teens wth ADHD


Werl
05-02-10, 03:39 PM
Just wondering if being bullied is common in teens with ADHD, because I was for many years.:(

Imnapl
05-02-10, 09:38 PM
Just wondering if being bullied is common in teens with ADHD, because I was for many years.:(I don't think that having ADHD makes us any more likely to be a victim. That's not to say that we don't get our share of teasing for missing the obvious or over-reacting to situations.
Kids with Autism have a more difficult time, in my experience.

Pamplemousse
05-02-10, 10:50 PM
Well, I certainly am. There are a few girls in my class who are looking for any opportunity to harp on me about having ADHD. I would love to give people like this a swift kick in the pants, however i'd rather not get suspended from school. :D

Werl
05-04-10, 11:18 AM
Thanks, if you are still trying to ask your parents suggest some of the benefits like better grades and less anger at your peers.

I don't have Autism, but I do have Dyslexia. Life is tough. You have the people who are "normal" and then you have us, ADHD and other problems.

@Imnapl- that is the same picture that I use for every other forum I am on. Nice to see others form Canada.

Werl
05-04-10, 12:05 PM
sorry, have to subscribe.

ideaman
05-04-10, 12:56 PM
I was bullied a lot in primary school. I suppose the reason was that I was different enough (nerdy type) and I hardly fought back. I wish my parents or anyone else had cared as I think I might have been a different person...

Werl
05-04-10, 01:01 PM
Similar to my self. Except my parents cared so we had a meeting with the staff at my school and now I am in a separate class slowly reintegrating.

Werl
05-18-10, 11:47 PM
Things are getting better for me now.

DaveyJones
05-21-10, 03:41 PM
In first grade, I was bullied at the beginning, however, I fought back with extreme aggression to make them understand I could not be messed with, but I was defending myself, I didn't care if the others were telling me I was fighting like a girl (I was pulling hair and using my nails as defense), at least they never engaged me in a fight anymore, and then the bullies left me alone. In high school, I was faced with mental bullying, they keep telling me I was a druggie ( I never used drugs), apparently I looked stoned, maybe I was spacey but I think it was due to the ADHD issue, because even teachers find I was spacey.

Werl
05-25-10, 12:09 AM
Interesting life.

Look, my 100th post

http://www.addforums.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=830&pictureid=6756

vja4Him
05-25-10, 12:15 AM
My son gets bullied in school. Too bad for the bullies .... They picked on the wrong kid ... !!! My son has been in Karate school for over a year now and is doing very well with his martial arts skills! He only defended himself and got suspended for defending himself.

One time a kid stabbed my son two times with a pencil ... !!! My son got suspended for defending himself again.

Another time my son got hit in his privates and was hurt really bad. My son fought back, defending himself, and got suspended again. This is another problem with the school, and I've fought them tooth and nail, but they won't budge an inch. They think my son is a bad guy, and have even written on the referrals that my son attacks other students and even threatens them ... !!!

I wrote on the referral that they are wrong, and wrote the names of the students who attacked my son, and told them my son is not the guilty party.

It's a good thing that my son does know marital arts, because he was attacked by gangsters three times, one time with seven of them. One of the gangster pulled a knife on my son, but my son has been learning how to counter the attacks with a knife.

Even though my son got hurt really bad from the gangsters, he was able to hurt some of them pretty good, and get away. He will NOT be walking to school anymore. I will continue to request/demand that the school pay for vouchers so he can take the city bus to school and home.

Werl
05-25-10, 12:25 AM
Here's what you do, one day go straight to head office, demand to see the superintendent and tell him/her those things things. If this doesn't work, get a bunch of parents whose kids a also bullied, then as a group go to the school.

My parents are teachers so they have little to no influence, but you will.

Hope this helps, Werl.

doiadhd
05-25-10, 07:47 AM
Here's what you do, one day go straight to head office, demand to see the superintendent and tell him/her those things things. If this doesn't work, get a bunch of parents whose kids a also bullied, then as a group go to the school.

My parents are teachers so they have little to no influence, but you will.

Hope this helps, Werl.

Hi Werl,

Was the bullying anything to do with your parents actually being teachers at all?

Sorry to read you were being singled out,has it stopped altogether now?I hope so.No-one should have to put up with that.

My younger brother used to attract that attention and I used to stick up for him....impulsively,and got suspended a couple of times.

Once it was even a teacher bullying my brother,by banging his hand against the wall....well,when i saw my little bro's face.....i got suspended for shouting at the teacher...later to come back and the teacher had been expelled...!? And not one word said about it after.

Interesting world m8:)

Sirrah
05-25-10, 08:18 AM
I was bullied, mostly because I had a weight problem as a child.

I don't think I was really bulled because of my behavior, specifically. Most people simply chose not to associate with me because I was just an immature fool and a loser that was never going anywhere in life.

That said, I'm sure I did some of what could be considered bullying myself. I used to wind people up a lot and not know when to quit it. I feel awful for it now though, and have actually messaged people from school I haven't seen in some 13 years to apologize for being such a dick.

It's a shame that hindsight seems to be the only sight I have!

Werl
05-25-10, 10:21 AM
It's getting better, I would have to agree with Sirrah. I have done it my self. No it has nothing to do with my parents being teachers. I'm just very different from everybody else.

doiadhd
05-25-10, 03:52 PM
It's getting better, I would have to agree with Sirrah. I have done it my self. No it has nothing to do with my parents being teachers. I'm just very different from everybody else.

Yes I see,
I was'nt aware of bullying of me at school,because I used to get aggressive...which done a lot more harm than good,not to say I probably would not have got their dumb *** sense of humour.

Just remember your better than them,hard to forget right:)

Addr68
05-25-10, 04:10 PM
Hi Werl,

As a teen (many many moons ago) I was bullied BIG TIME.
I had five ways to go home from middle school *Really!! *

Not sure of the reasons why I was the 'selected target'

I was given many nicknames-not of the 'cool type'
I was spit on, punched, kicked, and verbaly assualted over and over again.

Then one day..(it seemed like one day) it all stopped..

I think perhaps..I found 'myself' and stood up not to the bullies really..but stood up-within myself.

I believe I found 'worth' in me..

Not really sure how that played into the bully halt.

Werl,

I like who you are!! I really do :)
I think you are an amazing person and one I think, others should get to know..

Thank you for being you and being here among us...

You are among friends here.. ;)

Wishing you and others like us, the best!!

Bry

Werl
05-25-10, 07:58 PM
I do spend a lot of my time on here, or waiting for something new. Thanks ADDr68, that means a lot.

dm_laugh3r
05-25-10, 09:00 PM
I was bullied a lot in primary school. I suppose the reason was that I was different enough (nerdy type) and I hardly fought back. I wish my parents or anyone else had cared as I think I might have been a different person...

This is exactly how I feel.

InfantryWifWhit
05-25-10, 09:23 PM
oddly, I actually was Popular!!The only time I was "bullied" was bc the guy I dated a was the wrestling regional champ and football player. I truely think the fact I was diff helped me "stand" out. I made sure to be the life of the party and when in groups with the more "snarky" kids I made sure to bite my tongue and keep on a "calmer" level. All of my downfalls I managed to turn into a "joke" more or less. It kept people from zooming in on me and picking out my flaws.
honestly never have and never will bully anybody. I've seen so many kids in my highschool that were "teased" and half the time I don't even know why they done did it. Those kids seemed pretty average like the rest of us to me.
I'm sorry for any of yall that have or are facing the classic "fools of our time". It's funny how they think their better then others when really you are proving to be so much better then them :o)

Werl56
07-18-10, 06:09 PM
Yes I was bullied, and no I was not! When I was in elementary school I was bullied. When I got into Jr. High and High School I was less bullied (actually I stopped those asses that bullied). What was the change? At age 14, all of a sudden, I was 6'2" tall and 195 lbs with little fat. I played on the defense and offense of the football team (the only player to do so). Nobody messed with me. I did not turn into a bully because I was on the other end of that childish game.

I tried as hard as I could to stop bullies, that isolated me from the "jocks". I went on to get a Physical Education Degree and then to get an Education Degree.

Now as a teacher I make sure (to the best of my ability) to ensure that as little bullying happens in our school as possible (much to the disappointment of many parents!!!)

After many years I find that I am now stopping the bullying of children of bullies that I stopped years before.

Bullying is not normal and needs to be stopped!!!!!

qanda
07-20-10, 08:15 AM
My daughter is has been bullied. I tell her to stick up for herself, but this is REALLY hard for her. This is what I tell her: Sometimes sticking up for yourself will lead to a consequence, but the consequence will be worth stopping the bully.

Werl
07-20-10, 03:55 PM
I've tried that. All it did was made it worse. They made fun of me for being a "spaz". I never actually got in trouble, but I had a full day in school suspension (not a punisment for me because I hate most of my pears [mostly the boys]).

Posted On My iPhone

Nickis2legit
07-22-10, 12:22 AM
Never really bullied, just stayed neutral throughout school

Werl
07-22-10, 12:34 AM
I hate you (not really). You had the school life that I wanted :(.

Nickis2legit
07-22-10, 01:35 AM
Not really people make fun of kids in school because they're insecure and actually jealous deep down, I know how it feels because sometimes it was make fun of or be made fun of. Being on any end sucks thats why I mostly stay neutral

Werl
07-22-10, 02:02 AM
That's easy to say when you are center of the scale for the most part. I'm running toward center, but I have that feeling that just when I reach the line there will be someone there to closeline me and drag me back where I was. (figuratively).

sarek
07-22-10, 03:03 AM
I suffered from some bullying, on and off. Much of the time I managed to surround myself with one or more sufficiently strong friends to avoid most of the heat.
But thinking back to those days it may be that I have selectively put some or the memories on the back burner. Nothing traumatic, its just more pleasant to remember the fun stuff, such as it was.

Nickis2legit
07-22-10, 08:20 PM
That's easy to say when you are center of the scale for the most part. I'm running toward center, but I have that feeling that just when I reach the line there will be someone there to closeline me and drag me back where I was. (figuratively).

Just ignore it, the only reason they bully you is to get a reaction from you so if you channel them out they will get bored and try to maybe be friend some of the other kids that get bullied and revolt

TygerSan
07-23-10, 03:49 PM
I may not be ADHD (though I had similar issues in school with a LD), and I did get bullied (IMHO girls can be a lot more subtle about things, so none of us really got in trouble, I just ended up feeling like crap).

Middle school was the worst for me . . . I had one friend who had more problems than I did. I talked to the kid with CP (that was social suicide). And I had a "fan club" including one girl who kept on threatening to beat me up, and teasing me that the guy with CP was my boyfriend.

I was terrified of her, but mostly I wanted her to just leave me in peace! One day, though, I saw her running to the counsellor's office in tears, saying that some *other* group of girls had threatened to beat *her* up. I think that was the first time in my life that I actually realized that, as sad as it was, there was a pecking order :( and that she had issues too. Though I did kinda feel bad for her in a way, the next time she threatened to beat me up, I dropped my books and stood my ground, and she backed off around the corner yelling threats and insults, and then ran away. She never bothered me again, but to this day, I have no *clue* what would have happened if she'd taken the bait. I've still, at 30, never been in a physical fight.

Crazygirl79
07-23-10, 07:39 PM
Werl.

Yes a lot of kids with ADHD/ADD do get bullied at school but as Imnapl has mentioned kids with ASD tend to have a much more difficult and painful time with this as do kids with conditions such as Tourette Syndrome and other tic disorders etc

It seems the more 'different' you are the chance of you being bullied are much higher.

I was bullied relentless at high school for being 'different' and it has had a terrible impact on my life and a week after my 16th birthday in 1995 I almost died from a drug overdose (suicide attempt) because of it, I still suffer because of it and I'm in my early 30's now and while the worst of it is over those memories and the pain associated with those memories will never ever leave me no matter how much I'd like to erase them.

My advice to any child or teenager who is being bullied is to speak up and get help, only they and those close to them have the power to stop it all.

SelenaI don't think that having ADHD makes us any more likely to be a victim. That's not to say that we don't get our share of teasing for missing the obvious or over-reacting to situations.
Kids with Autism have a more difficult time, in my experience.

Trooper Keith
07-23-10, 10:50 PM
ADHD children are annoying and abnormal. In many cases when combined with situational factors like not being good at sports or not being extraverted this can cause bullying issues. A lot of research indicates that children with ADHD are more likely to be doing the bullying than anything else though. Some children with ADHD function very well socially and some not so well. Those who function not so well are prone to being victims of bullying.

Crazygirl79
07-24-10, 12:33 AM
I agree with most of your post KMiller but it does NOT give anyone the right to bully another child, teenager or even adult and it can have an everlasting affect on someones life!

I personally think any kind of campaigning should go towards stopping the bullying trend with better education on disabilities/differences.

Selena

Princess Moon
07-27-10, 11:01 PM
I have ADD and I also think I have NLD or Nonverbal Learning Disorder, where you have deficits in fine motor skills, visual-spatial skills, executive functioning, visual processing, visual memory and visual-spatial organization and then ADD with the attention and organization. It seems like recently a newer trend is that people usually act nice to someone's face and then talk about them behind their back rather than be mean to them directly, which is sneakier because people can get away with that stuff more. Because I came across naive, innocent and vulnerable, I seemed like someone who was easy to take advantage of. I was pretty and naive. A lot of people with ADD or NLD / Nonverbal Learning Disorder or any other disability can seem naive, innocent and vulnerable to others.

marie-johanne
07-29-10, 12:47 PM
My 16 year old gets along with everyone. In fact, the only people who bully him are teachers.

ILADHD
07-30-10, 04:05 PM
It can be if the teen is peculiar. I went to a very small school and was accused of being gay from 6th grade on. I'm straight as an arrow, but I do act a little gay. I'll be 40 soon and people still wonder. I don't get picked on today like I did in school and I definately believe the way I was treated affected my social skills.

Werl
07-31-10, 02:43 PM
I actually have little to no social skills when it comes to people my own age. I can talk to adults and they forget that I'm only 14.

QuantumIguana
08-01-10, 08:35 PM
Bullies pick on kids who have no network of support. It's often not necessarily the weakest kids, but the ones that no one will defend who who get bullied. Bullies will cave if there are other people who stand up to bullies of behalf of the victims. This kids who refuse to let the bullies pick on other kids are the ones who get my respect. If a kid stands up to the bullies when he or she doesn't have to, that's a sign of real strength.

Imnapl
08-01-10, 09:44 PM
Good point, QuantumIguana. Bullying usually involves the bully, the victim and the bystanders - people often forget about the bystanders and don't realize that the bystanders are the biggest part of the bullying.

Trooper Keith
08-01-10, 10:41 PM
I agree with most of your post KMiller but it does NOT give anyone the right to bully another child, teenager or even adult and it can have an everlasting affect on someones life!


I'm not giving rights, I'm giving explanations. People who are awkward socially are likely to be bullied because of the way teenagers socialize. Teenagers like to find common ground in rallying around something like bullying. They also like to build themselves up by tearing others down. Often times they will project their own insecurities onto others and then bully them for it - for example, if a teenager feels weak he may shove others around and tell them they are weak, as a way of affirming that he is not weak.

Children with ADHD make easy victims because they are often annoying and poorly socialized. They also tend to frequently make fools of themselves. This isn't universal, obviously, but there is a certain behavioral profile that fits over Combined Type ADHD kids and it usually includes awkward socialization and being a victim of bullying or being a bully, which the research suggests is likely.

Inattentive Type kids tend not to be so bullied because they don't draw attention to themselves like Combined Type kids do.

All that said, clearly bullying is wrong and unhelpful and certainly harmful to those involved, on both sides of the transaction.

Imnapl
08-02-10, 12:23 AM
Bully Busters: Six Ways to Prevent Bullying (http://www.newswise.com/articles/view/522020/?sc=sphp).

Seaweed603
11-09-12, 04:10 PM
I used to be bullied, but then I beat him up and i haven't been bullied since