View Full Version : Anyone any help for someone whos mildly depressed


remain.anon
05-09-10, 12:37 PM
Hi,
I'm 25 and I don't go out and socialize with people or anything. I could - I have access to friends - most notably the lads I live with. They go out every weekend drinking and going to nightclubs which I'm not really into.

I feel really depressed now - I usually do on a Sunday evening and then I'm fine on Monday again. I suppose it must be because I'm not making use of the weekends I would like and my life is ticking by without having an opposite sex relationship, doing things like travelling, other wishes etc.

I have hobbies but I only do them alone - would feel awkward if I went to join a club on my own - I'm not so bad if I go with someone else I know but nobody is into that. I'm currently doing a course in something and don't mingle well with anyone socially due to being self concious etc.

Does anybody have any advice on how I get my life going? I can be really good at talking and having a laugh when I feel comfortable with someone.

weareacc
05-09-10, 12:48 PM
If your depression really is mild and has an anxiety element, I can recommend St Johns Wort or Valerian.
Both seem to do just enough to take the edge off.

as an example: if you get a bit twitchy from coffee, it seems about the equivalent of not drinking coffee. (sorry, best example I could think of)

remain.anon
05-09-10, 12:58 PM
Well tbh by saying mild I suppose I was just trying to avoid a medication type route. I've tried lexapro before and it didn't do anything - I'm currently on strattera and another medication for low thyroid levels. It's possible that the reason I'm even motivated enough to ask about improving my life now is because of improvements in thyroid level - I've just been on it a week.

But it must be anxiety I suppose that's causing me to be self concious I suppose? I find though when you try to overcome anxiety like this you just try too hard and say either something stupid or something that is out of tune with the conversation.

meridian
05-09-10, 12:59 PM
Could also be social anxiety.

Coming here is a good forst step because it means you see there is a problem and are willing to find ways to overcome it.

Is there a local club (photography, book club, etc) where something you like can be something you try in a small group setting?

What are your hobbies and interests?

stef
05-09-10, 01:41 PM
but otherwise, do you like some of these guys you live with?
why not go out for one drink, with them? (at the beginning of their evening); or a quiet dinner during the week? it could be a start...

weareacc
05-09-10, 01:49 PM
Well if St Johns Wort didn't react with Ritalin I would still be on it.

Be aware you could spend a long time trying to alter this and come to the conclusion it isn't anxiety- you just don't enjoy these things.

Go out with the guys and try and work out if what you are feeling really is anxiety.

Coy Cutiee
05-09-10, 02:00 PM
>.> Its worth a shot to go out with your room mates for a night and if you don't like it you can leave early. ^.^ Or you could talk them into going somewhere you all might like to go... Nothing wrong with asking!

remain.anon
05-09-10, 02:30 PM
Well if St Johns Wort didn't react with Ritalin I would still be on it.

Be aware you could spend a long time trying to alter this and come to the conclusion it isn't anxiety- you just don't enjoy these things.

Go out with the guys and try and work out if what you are feeling really is anxiety.

Well it doesn't seem or feel like anxiety actually. I think it comes from a lack of belief in myself or not being able to achieve what I want to - ie. not connecting with a person that way I want to. I suppose I've been jaded by great communicators you see generally in life and on TV - I started to beleive I had to be like that to be worthwhile.

For years now though I've been like this and doing the same thing - ie. not connecting with people because of the above belief. I used to always think it's going to start happening one of these days but it hasn't and now I just need to try something different. I've been avoiding my true feelings generally over the last few years aswell and now I need to get in touch with them abit more - just as a way of trying something different I suppose. Does that sound like the right direction?

Regarding my interests - yes photography is something that I could be interested in. I'm also interested in mechanics and the like but feel as though those kind of people might be more difficult or something.

I'd like to get involved with something religious aswell but not the kind of thing where you just all sit around and pray - that would not be something I'd like at all.

I might see if one of the lads I'm living with is interested in going to the gym but I don't know if that would do me much good from a social pov. I'd say I'd be very self concious there.

weareacc
05-09-10, 02:47 PM
Yeah, I would say do anything you feel might take you in the right direction.

Don't worry if you get it wrong and it's not for you- you only learn by making mistakes. You can turn round and walk away whenever you like.

Not doing anything is something a lot of us spend a lot of time shouting at ourselves about.

ToneTone
05-09-10, 03:37 PM
Find a really good psychotherapist.

remain.anon
05-11-10, 01:27 PM
I asked one of the lads today if he would be interested in paragliding or hang gliding lessons. One of them said he was but he seems to say he'll do stuff often even though he doesn't really mean it. (or he hasn't thought it through)

I'd say he would have been more inclined to get to go though if my cousin who I also live with agreed. He's such a d*ckhead - he's never on for doing anything and knows that I don't go out or anything. Not in the least bit willing to help out - he's selfish I think. Made me really angry - he's full of muck - always going on how he hates drinking every weekend and needs to come up with something else and then he won't actually go and do anything or come up with any ideas himself - what a waste of space.

Anyway I dunno what I'm going to do now. I can't see myself doing it with the other housemate only. There is one other housemate but I don't think he would be on for it.

I might ask the first fella if he knows anyone else that would be on for it.

weareacc
05-11-10, 02:21 PM
Nice one- found any paragliding/hang gliding forums?

It's a good way in if it's something you fancy.

In a 4chan stylee - LURK MOAR

remain.anon
05-11-10, 03:11 PM
Nice one- found any paragliding/hang gliding forums?

It's a good way in if it's something you fancy.

In a 4chan stylee - LURK MOAR

I had a quick search looking for a site in Ireland but nothing crops up - I think I should look again as I know the weather conditions in the UK are similar and they should have a site.

edit: Actually most of the UK sites seem to be all for clubs only.

weareacc
05-11-10, 04:42 PM
How about the IHPA? Where in Eire are you? Ooh, Im a poet :-D

EshkaronsEngine
05-11-10, 06:22 PM
Melancholy is a little death. I've died and been reborn so many times I've lost count.

raheem1
05-12-10, 03:48 AM
how long has this depression been going for? I can only go so far without this question. However, I could say this now: Reasoning isn't the way to deal with depression.

For ex: I need to be more out going, I need people to understand me..etc. if you became very successful in one of those items, good results will only be short lived. (On the other side, this process can also resemble a need for chemicals: I need more 'vitamin x', i need more 'sugar'..etc. might even mean I need less 'x', depression is mostly)

As we all know it's a psychological process, your brain is kind of stuck on auto-pilot: it tends to trigger negative ideas, thoughts that make you feel the way you do. For ex:
- Going to the GYM (Trigger/Initial Thought) = Negative Thoughts (like why you shouldn't go) = Body Sensation - your body has to acquire the sensation your thoughts commanded no matter what it is
- Seeing someone you like = Good thoughts/memories about person 'x' = Body sensation follows.

You might be depressed due to lack of proper eating, lack of water, but most importantly improper breathing. You'll be amazed at how many claimed they know how to 'breathe' but yet they don't, so please do a quick search follow a quick exercise for proper breathing and try it (this alone can be life changing.)

Once you've got *all* your basic-life-needs set for at least 3 - 5 days, you may start to notice that your mind begins to skip negative thoughts just a bit In less technical terms, you'll just feel better. You might begin to notice that the decisions you make to better yourself are now easier to follow. (For ex: Going to The Gym: instead of bringing the usual negativity to the equation, your mind will most likely bring more positive thoughts or just reasons to go.)

Although it is possible, it is harder to think positively when you don't have the right chemics in your system & it is harder to think negatively when you have the right stuff. Aside from water & proper breathing, ensure that your are eating at least 4 meals a day, and that your eating *slow* without getting to full.

Once you've changed your lifestyle, you should talk to yourself positively even if it sounds like some straight B.S... just pretend.. and have fun with it :) Reprogramming 'the internal critic' is very empowering. This process is often under estimated, I can surely say if you do it, it will send you light-years ahead in your journey to self-peace.

mystes
05-13-10, 09:50 PM
Hi,
I'm 25 and I don't go out and socialize with people or anything. I could - I have access to friends - most notably the lads I live with. They go out every weekend drinking and going to nightclubs which I'm not really into.

I feel really depressed now - I usually do on a Sunday evening and then I'm fine on Monday again. I suppose it must be because I'm not making use of the weekends I would like and my life is ticking by without having an opposite sex relationship, doing things like travelling, other wishes etc.

I have hobbies but I only do them alone - would feel awkward if I went to join a club on my own - I'm not so bad if I go with someone else I know but nobody is into that. I'm currently doing a course in something and don't mingle well with anyone socially due to being self concious etc.

Does anybody have any advice on how I get my life going? I can be really good at talking and having a laugh when I feel comfortable with someone.

Depression is a disease that only you could help..

Actually.. I will be frank with you. I have that kind of friend too.. I mean just a new friend I met and when along i really know him.. He is kind like you and he can be a good conversationalist if one person but if it takes more.. he submit his self to his shell..

Really, as for me.. Please go with a friend who knows you. Just one person will do.. engage especially some thing new as well.. New to your life. New to your experience...

Be exposed with the reality of life and with different people..
so that you can understand life in a hard way..


Pain is inevitable therefore I am not avoiding but I am not inviting it as well.


What do you think?