Mom and her infanete wisdom says the only reason I want to hit the sauce is to look and feel like a grown up and do grown up thinkgs...HELLO I am 28 years old!!!!!! I swear if she had her way I would still be attached at the uterus! Some times it's lossen up...sometimes it is to not feel anything at all...or just sometimes I just want too..but is she right partly?

Theres nothing wrong with either of those reasons for drinking as long as you are aware of why you are drinking.

I can't say why *you* drink, but as for me I like to for different reasons. Sometimes just for fun, sometimes to be social, or when I am sad, to be numb.

I doesn't make me feel "grown up" at all! If anything it makes me feel immature (does that even make sense?).

Out of all the many reasons I used to drink trying to feel grown up was never one of them. I still drink occaisonally but nothing like I used to.

Hmm, here drinking isn't really a sign of maturity. Since the drinking age is so low where I live (15) and no-one really ever enforces it.. kids start pretty young. Infact, it's expected for a 14/15 y/o to get completely smashed after his Protestant confirmation party lol. So I guess I've never really thought of drinking as a way of looking/acting older and more-so the oppossite.

If anything else, the "older" people (no offence to anyone :-)) I know drink to feel -younger-, or at least that's what they've told me hehe.

In my opinion most people drink to numb the mind, or temporarily overcome inhibitions.
Personally for me, it is an escape from my ever introspective nature. And to overcome social inhibitions.
I feel like drinking these past couple days, as I am wanting to climb out of my confusion of a relationship.

What difference does it make to your mother why you drink?

What business of it is hers?

In my opinion most people drink to numb the mind, or temporarily overcome inhibitions.
Personally for me, it is an escape from my ever introspective nature. And to overcome social inhibitions.
I feel like drinking these past couple days, as I am wanting to climb out of my confusion of a relationship.

Exactumundo Jp ty,...I do become mor socialbe and les uptight when I get hammered:D

Clam..it is the buisness of a concerned mother who does not want me to drink cause I take medication...I told her I am old enoug to make that decision for myself...I think it just a mother that refuses in someway that I am an adult.

Thanks guys,..I feel the same way all ya's feel...I do not rdrink as much as I used to either...being broke has cured me of that .hehe

As far as her mother, I am 42, and my dad still tells me to watch how much I drink! I believe parents will be parents no matter how old you are. So I let them be my parent and it lets them feel better and I say yes dad I will be careful.

However, age does not represent maturity or being grown up!!!!! Age is just a number. Your actions represent maturity. That is why a lot of the commericals about drinking tell you to "Act responsible"!

Still a pain in the butt that I am still being treated like a child as if I am soo Incompatant *sigh*

So tell her to **** off...

Sorry... but some relatives are like that... they need to be RUDELY awakened to the fact that you have your own life, whether they like it or not...

Confrontational styles of conflict resolution never really work out for me. I sometimes get a thrill from the excitement of it all but I never get the results I'm looking for. I do know how it's done! ehh

If you know someone that has a problem with someone else's drinking and they have an interest in getting over it, there are wonderful people at Alanon http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ that have learnt how to get beyond someone Else's habits with drinking.

My wife got help in Alanon two years before I even knew I had a problem. It probably saved my sorry ****. It was amazing to watch her go from wailing about me having even one drink to her seeing me drunk "again" and asking me sincerely if she could get me another drink when she was headed that way. It was disturbing to say the least. She just got over it. Plain and simple. She got a life of her own.

What her 12 step skills did was remove anything I might want to blame her for and stopped the fighting surrounding my drinking. By the end of her first two years in Alanon, I was left to make my own decisions about my behaviour in all aspects of my life. It was a good thing. I wasn't happy. She was getting increasingly happy. I snapped and wanted what she had. I was lucky.

I hope your Mum gets the help she needs. There are meetings almost everywhere. Maybe you could leave a pamphlet lying around. What do you think?

ian

Ian,
I think you may have misread...Mels mom thinks Mel has a problem...great advice none the less.

If Mel's Mum has a problem with Mel's drinking her Mum might benefit from what Alanon has to offer. Maybe I was unclear.
ian

will look at that site, Ian. Can they send free pamhlets?

I'm not sure they will but I've sent some options via pm as far as local contacts go. That will be a start at least. One way or another if you want a one I'll help you get one.
ian

Thanks Ian,.......got it..I appreciate it :)

Excellentio! I hope it helps.
ian

Muchas Gracias, Mi Amigo

De nada. Tomad una, tres veces al día, después de las comidas.
ian of the google is my friend alliance

Great Now me has to find Spanish Translator Site :p

http://babel.altavista.com/

Even if you're not, this site comes in handy. :D

You don't think I come by my Spanish honestly do you Melly? eheh wheezie's always blowing my cover!!!!! heh

In my opinion most people drink to numb the mind, or temporarily overcome inhibitions.
Personally for me, it is an escape from my ever introspective nature. And to overcome social inhibitions.
I feel like drinking these past couple days, as I am wanting to climb out of my confusion of a relationship.
this really hit home with me. i have been battling with alcohol addiction. my daughter was diagnosis with add and i always wondered where did she get it from? i am starting to see signs of it in me. the above reasons is why i drink when i do.

this is so powerful

Don't feel bad. My mom is the same way. With me in whatever i do she says "its because I know that she wouldn't approve and I'm doing it just to spite her and to rebel". I'm 29 i do thing because i want to. I must say i like seeing her react to some of the things i do, not that there bad there just not her way and she cant stand when i don't do things her way.

It's the curse, you know this, dont ya? "You'll understand the day you become a mother."

Well, Haha, Mom! I'm not a mother yet but I still understand!

There is two sides 2 every story.


Even if drinking is a mistake, I am old enough to make that mistake and and being impulsive fun loving person that I am, I can't learn all the time from just warnings...I have to make a boo-boo. It has nothing to do with rebellion...

It was made clear to us if we were old enough, we could. So what is there to rebel against? It has to do with Free Will...if we want to for socializing, relaxing, or for the heck of it..we can... Oh how Mom's are crafty to get around that pesky free will. Mental note: Don't let Mom see this LOL .....

You're right, Texas, Mom is holding up her end of the bargin and she can not stop us one iota......but the Power of Mom is not that she can physically stop us, she can Nag like a wild nag and put up a good fight that way... Not that it makes any difference all the time ..lol!

Yes, I do understand that moms will be moms and they want to protect us and keep us from making mistakes we'll regret later, and I do love my mom for that reason and a lot more.

You know mother's, ya tell them that we can make own choices and not to worry but, just as we never listen to them, it's vice versa cause they they will worry and nag anyway

Honestly, If I was a mother and I had a daughter like me, I couldn't do it and I would be telling her anything I could think of to convince her not to drink..for the simple fact...I didn't listen to mom and have had my times when I should have. I sometimes wish she wouldn't care so much but I would be more worried if she didn't care about what happens to me at all. :)

Happy Early Mother's Day to All Who Read:D LOL

Do you all still live at home? If you are, and suffer from this repeating loop of over parenting, you might consider going out on your own. Things for me changed pretty quickly once I got out from under the same roof.
ian

Someday, I will get out on my own, but right now.....Ehh...I am not in the best situation nor do I know the first thing about how to be on my own and so when me start getting past my current problems and I can focus on Such responsibilities and learn so someday I can move out.

I hope you can get some relief in your current setup.
ian

Thanks Ian, I hope things can get easier for u too.