I need some advice??? I met this guy at a skating park and he asked me out for a movie. I am afraid to tell him about my add, do I wait till I know him better or do I tell him immedaitaly?
Mechelle

i would get to know him a little then tell. I know my boyfriend would not be upset if i told him i had add after i knew him a little. who knows maybe he has hd/add

Well, I told him. And he lik ethought I was freak. I just don't care anymore. It's like Take it or Leave it. I don't need some wigged out little boy to deal with.

I know what u mean. If i had a pound (or dollar!!) for every girl that ran or treated me like some mental guy who needs 2 be watched 24/7 then i would be a very rich man. I always wait now before telling. And it allows u 2 get 2 know the person better. Hope that helps. And dont give up either. If someone really does like/love u they wont hop onto the next train out of their, they will stay and realise ur the exact same person they fell in love with and nothing has changed except now they know a little more about u. And ur right. U dont need people freaking out 2 deal with. Its not fair and u and everyone else deserve more. I have known people who have known me 4 months and think im perfectly normal suddenly think what the hell when they find out. Well i dont need them. I have lots of people who r willing 2 just accept that no human is normal and im still the guy they got 2 know and r friends with.

people are often afraid of the unknown. so if they do not understand what ad/hd is, it is only natural for them to treat you differntly. it's not that they are rude or insinsitive, but they just don't know how to respond. first wait untill you know the person well enough, then explain it very theroughly, and then give them time to process it and except it. it may take them minutes or even months. so try to be understanding of where they are coming from to.

Update!!!! I dumped this narrow minded perfectionist. I gave him a barbie doll to show off. Since she doesn't talk and would be the trophy girlfriend he wanted. I am now seeinga man 20 yrs older than me. I am beginning to suspect he is married though.......

sixes when i was 17 I did the same thing with a guy who was 36, and I don't want to sound like ya mom or something but it was bad news, he just wanted sex. ADD screws up relationships, i know, i don't know what it is but it's so easy to step into a crappy one. but things have gotten better, I've learned that the guys you meet when your out clubbing [text edited by Moderator] are usually not the same guys the next day. But heres my advice, if you think he's married, he probably is. But whatever happens, just stay safe and don't let him play with your head. thats crucial.

Haven't slept with him and I don't plan 2. Still says he isn't married. But, I am not into playing games. So, I just don't make time for him anymore. I think he is getting the point.

I've yet to read about a relationship that benefitted from learning of an ADD diagnosis.
I think some things are better left unsaid.
The only real benefit seems to be to the diagnosee (is that a word ?).
It's perfectly natural to want to share something as important a part of your being as ADD, but ....
Excusing one's behaviour in advance, raises doubts in some people's minds.
It may sound as though you're warning them away - it may sound as though you couldn't/can't control your behaviour and raises the spectre of something altogether more worrisome.
Let them take you as they find you - you're not deceiving anyone.
Better to err on the side of caution, keep schtumm, enjoy the relationship and if it should fail, chalk it up to ADD (where appropriate).

Find someone else who has ADD.

I think ADD women rock. :D :D :D

sixes,

Be patient and be strong. Mr. Right will come a long trust me. big hugs to you for following your gut instinct's.

p.s. I'm open about my ADD I find no shame in it and if ppl don't like it then they can not associate with me.

hello everyone


How do you find someone with ADD? i would like to know

Thank you
April

from my experience... you can spot them from a mile away.

well... the combined types at least.
(i know half the campus knows me as some coked up, rambling and loud freak)

actually, you might want to avoid people like that. we're crazy.

CRAAAAZY I TELL YOU!

... but...

so much fun !





PS: am i the only one finding it REAL weird that no one aside from me has a Calvin avatar ?

i mean, come on! CALVIN!

Heh.. I was never much of a Calvin fan... thos bumper stickers with him peeing on various logos didn't help much.

i know what you mean.

BTW those stickers are 1- stupid, obnoxious and pointless
2- illegal, because Calvin & Hobbes writer Bill watterson never allowed any subproducts of C&H to be made, for various and very good reasons.

it's not at all what those comics portray/promote or whatever.
i guess you kind of have to grow up reading them... but it's never too late.

just like "the far side".

now that will just make you split your guts laughing.



have a nice day, :D

yo do you all have problems understanding when what you say has hurt someone because it has happened alot for me this is why i have never stayed going out with a person very long.

I find that it's hard to find shame in something that if worked with properly can help you multitask with stuff

I've never really had that, I'm a softy, I can't stand crying. It makes me feel all bleh...
I have a hard time with like saying what I want, I get whipped to easily I guess is what I mean.

I would suggest at least considering dating another person who is ADD. Just something to think about at any rate!

AD/HD is personal. You need to know the person a lot before you disclose something personal simply cause of the society's social stigma.
Just like there are two flip sides to a coin, one is that if the guy doesn't accept u then it's his loss. The other side is, imagine if sum1 came and told u on ur face that they had something taht u had never heard off and u considered as something bad, maybe you wud too be taken aback and have the same reaction.
IMO, give time to a relationship.
I'll tellu one thing, my gf is ad/hd that's the best part cause i called her one day and i was like this is the scenario wuth me and she's like I too have it the same symptoms. I was lucky I got sum1 with ad/hd.
Take care!

i would have a calvin avatar cept im too lazy and always forget to put it on.

Find someone else who has ADD.

I think ADD women rock. :D :D :D
I think i will make myself a t-shirt who says that waywardclam..:D