View Full Version : Touching/being touched. . .


Amtram
06-06-10, 05:32 PM
Just interested to see if anyone else has similar experiences. When I was a baby, I was extremely resistant to being touched, didn't want to cuddle. (My father informed me that this was the reason Mom and I didn't get along for so many years. Yes, he did.)

I had read in a book whose title I don't recall, that this could be an early sign of ADD.

THEN, because of all the Andrew Wakefield stuff, I found a lot of researchers who said that autistic infants often do this as well - while a fussy child might normally be calmed by being held, this makes autistic infants even more upset.

I'm not autistic, but we definitely have it in my family. I never asked my parents if any of my siblings were like this (although it would be interesting if the two who are aspies were more cuddly than I was!)

To this day, though, while I very much enjoy touching things, even touching people, it's kind of discomforting to me to be touched. Worse yet, I have a couple of friends who hug me when I'm upset, which makes me even more upset! Anyone else?

Marspider
06-06-10, 06:02 PM
I hated to be touched all throughout childhood to adolescence. I will wriggle out whenever my mum and sister (my dad was not much of a hugger) and friends tried to hug me. Then I will get hug attacked. I couldn't stand it. I hated cheek kissing as well. I'm Spanish, everytime you meet someone new, it's muah muah all the time lol. Oh, the horror.

I've gotten much better. I slowly developed into being able to hug people but not getting hugged. Now I can hug strangers if I get some advance warning first. I'm not a master hugger but I now even like it. I'm still wary with strangers and there are some people I will not hug. I back off when they try it.

Part of the change was I left home and got very depressed and needed some human touch. I was heartsick and craved hugs.

I'm still a bit meh on cheek kissing. In Spain it's 2 kisses, in France and Holland it's 3!!!! Why 3? Elsewhere it's 1 kiss.
I hate it when I go and kiss someone, they expect 1, I go for 2 and I'm left hanging in the air and it's so awkward. Handshakes are so formal and you never know where those hands have been...

Funny, though, I've never had too much of a problem hugging kids. I love hugging kids.

Werl
06-06-10, 06:41 PM
I've been the opposite my whole life, hold me tight and don't let go. My dad doesn't like his face being touched.

peripatetic
06-06-10, 06:51 PM
for me it largely comes down to how i feel about the person. very cut and dry in that respect.

if i enjoy you, then hugs all around, kisses, no problem.

if i don't like someone or am annoyed with the person for any reason, then there's zero touching allowed.

the only other factor is if i'm angry about something. then it seems like all touching is only to get me to 'settle down', which has the opposite effect. i'd settle down a lot faster if i could just be, get it out of my system, and then go on. placating strikes me as insulting in those times.

good question:)

Werl
06-06-10, 06:57 PM
Sorry in advanced, I just had to post this.

I feel like coming over there and giving you all BIG, HUGE hugs!

APSJ
06-06-10, 07:35 PM
I am generally averse to physical contact unless I know someone really really well, and even then, in most cases I won't be the one to initiate it. There are a few friends and family members who it doesn't bother me to hug, but it drives me crazy when acquaintances, or even strangers, want to hug, or do the cheek kiss thing.

I try to make sure that when 'goodbyes' are coming I'm standing far away from people liable to engage in this sort of troubling behavior, and then when they look at me to say goodbye, I'll say it first and wave.

I can manage handshakes fine though, often without even having to run and wash my hands.

It just occurred to me to mention that this is unique to *people* I'm much more okay with a strange dog jumping up on me with muddy paws and licking my face than I am with a strange person wanting to hug me.

insight needed
06-06-10, 07:51 PM
I think there may be two things going on with liking/not liking being touched or hugged. There are degrees of sensory sensitivity to tactile, auditory, visual, olfactory, or vestibular input. Some individuals are hyper-sensitive to all or some of those inputs. It seems like people on the autism spectrum (Aspergers included) are more likely to have sensory sensitivities than the general population. However, just because one is on the "sensitive" side, does not mean that one is on the autism spectrum. The funny thing about touch is that sometimes an individual will find light touch to be "painful" but deep touch/pressure to be very calming. Read Temple Grandin's books if you are looking for more information about this.

Anyhow, I think the other aspect of hugging is more of a social one. Feeling okay about being hugged by people you love, and feeling like you'd rather avoid being hugged by casual acquaintences may really be more of a social/emotional issue than a sensory one. In my opinion, there's plenty of room in the world for the "huggers" and those of us who are more reserved.

Amtram
06-06-10, 09:14 PM
Brief hugs are OK for me, with certain people. The band kids all hug me (because I bring them cookies. . .heh) and I can handle those brief, friendly ones. I have trouble figuring out when I'm leaving a group if it's OK to hug only the people I like, or if it would cause problems, so I often end up having to hug people I really don't want to, just to fit in.

I do have other sensory issues, and they have that "being in control" factor, too. I hate noise that comes from outside. Live music in a club that I chose to go to, no problem. I can handle a wool sweater, because I chose to put it on, but can't sleep when my sheets or nightclothes wrinkle underneath me. I don't like a lot of food that other people cook, or certain prepared meals, but I experiment with all different kinds of food at home or in restaurants - where I choose what to eat.

I don't know whether the reason behind it has any connection with the ADD, because I knew these things bothered me from a very early age, without thinking about it. It just also seemed curious to me that nowhere else except that one book did I see anything about ADD infants rejecting touch.

So maybe it's not ADD, but me in particular, eh?

ginniebean
06-06-10, 10:00 PM
I'm very huggy and touchy feely, unless I'm upset, like peri if I don't like you that minute, well wait half an hour then MAYBE.


I cannot stand my face being touched. Anywhere else, ok but not my face, No idea why.

stef
06-07-10, 04:05 AM
I hated cheek kissing as well. I'm Spanish, everytime you meet someone new, it's muah muah all the time lol. Oh, the horror.


Well in some parts of France actually it's FOUR cheek kisses. (but just 2 in Paris!) I'm really only used to it with my in-laws. the worst is some small party or dinner and you have to kiss everyone even if you don't know them! I swear, it takes forever to leave if say you spend the day with 8 relatives. "well thanks see you next time" *kiss*kiss*kiss*kiss* "have a good trip back" *kiss*kiss*kiss*kiss* .....

I hate having my face touched too, I thought that was just me. Oh and I can't stand to wear any type of hat.

hugging: depends on the people. Growing up we weren't "huggers" so I never thought about it. - actually I don't like it too much...

Amtram
06-07-10, 07:25 AM
Thinking about it, it also has the problem of having my movement restricted. I don't like having both my hands held, because I hate not having a hand free. I don't like the long hugs, because I can't move away. I'm not claustrophobic, but I hate being in an enclosed space with lots of people that I can't get out of - crowded elevators, buses, subways, and the like. Take half the people out, and I'm OK. Or put me in a crowded room, and I'm not as bothered because I can open the door and get away from it if I need to.

And my husband has very, very hot hands. He'll put his hand on my thigh when we're going to sleep, and I have to take it away. Having one isolated spot on one side of my body that's a significantly different temperature makes me really uncomfortable. After 20-some years, he still does it, but I love him anyway. . .

AlexaN
06-07-10, 07:47 AM
Just interested to see if anyone else has similar experiences. When I was a baby, I was extremely resistant to being touched, didn't want to cuddle. (My father informed me that this was the reason Mom and I didn't get along for so many years. Yes, he did.)

I had read in a book whose title I don't recall, that this could be an early sign of ADD.

THEN, because of all the Andrew Wakefield stuff, I found a lot of researchers who said that autistic infants often do this as well - while a fussy child might normally be calmed by being held, this makes autistic infants even more upset.

I'm not autistic, but we definitely have it in my family. I never asked my parents if any of my siblings were like this (although it would be interesting if the two who are aspies were more cuddly than I was!)

To this day, though, while I very much enjoy touching things, even touching people, it's kind of discomforting to me to be touched. Worse yet, I have a couple of friends who hug me when I'm upset, which makes me even more upset! Anyone else?

Yes, I have the same issue.
Makes me feel uncomfortable when people I am not very close to touch / hug me.

When I was in primary school, I was constantly touched by other girls during gym classes and hated it.
The teacher, a female, noticed it and developed a weird theory I have been sexually molested and that's why I hate physical contact.
It was insane!

I do like being touched by a romantic partner and I am very warm person, but hugs, kisses, touching friends etc., makes me feel odd.

Song of Mercy
06-07-10, 07:51 AM
I really dislike being touched, always have. It is really hard for me to show my kids physical affection. I can do a hug, 1000 times a day...as long as the dang thing only lasts a second. If they hold on I feel like I want to scream and run in circles and and and....gasp for air!

βĩο₱Ħعℓĩᶏ
06-10-10, 04:07 PM
To this day, though, while I very much enjoy touching things, even touching people, it's kind of discomforting to me to be touched. Worse yet, I have a couple of friends who hug me when I'm upset, which makes me even more upset! Anyone else?

Yes, I identify with LOVING touching, but not touched. I do like being touched, but on my own defined terms. I do not like being hugged when I am upset (especially when I'm frustrated, I don't want a stinking hug I want someone to say, "Just breathe," and help me (e.g. help make an outline or a to-do list)). I do like being hugged when I do a good job, or someone appreciates me.

And I too find issues with my movement potential being restricted, lightly being touched (it sets my WHOLE body into a tizzy, I have snapped at my boyfriend many times to touch me harder. He then does it allll wrong, heh. We're working on it though).

barnops
06-10-10, 05:28 PM
And I too find issues with my movement potential being restricted, lightly being touched (it sets my WHOLE body into a tizzy, I have snapped at my boyfriend many times to touch me harder. He then does it allll wrong, heh. We're working on it though).

God, this used to happen between my gf and I all the time!
She would always try and lightly touch me, running fingers and such over back/etc. I just couldnt stand it, made me feel weird, "Tizzy" is a good word.

coddersjnr
06-10-10, 06:29 PM
I have a similar problem, I like being able to see the person I am talking to and if they're going to hug me, I feel much better if I see them coming towards me. It is strange how sensitive I am to how quickly people move near me and stuff.

It scares me a bit when I get touched out of the blue and it'll usually be me initiating a hug and that's only on good days when I'm feeling sociable.

deladaisy
06-10-10, 10:38 PM
If I'm a romantic relationship with some one then I always want to be physically attached to them (to the point where i do have to restrict myself sometimes) but any one else hugging or touching me (i.e. shoulder rub, things of that nature) really irks me. Even my family. And if I'm expected to hug back or kiss on the cheek hello or goodbye then it feels forced and wierd.

Werl
06-10-10, 10:44 PM
Hugs all around, maybe a kiss or two.

I can't don't want to let go of people

barnops
06-11-10, 01:24 AM
Hugs all around, maybe a kiss or two.

I can't don't want to let go of people

I'm with you Werl.
I crave contact.

Werl
06-11-10, 01:27 AM
I think I will perodically post that just to see what people say. :D

Cacho
06-11-10, 08:57 AM
I flinch pretty bad. Mostly when I'm not expecting movement around me. All my girlfriend's have found it quite irritating.... quite romantic mood, and then I suddenly jump back... completely not on purpose.

When I was younger I tended to back away from people when they talked to me. I've got that under control now.... seems to annoy people :/

That's not directly touch, but it's proximity and contact...... There are very few people I hug. It's often a little awkward cause everyone around me is hugging and shaking hands saying bye, and I'm just sort of not.... the occasional, brave lass or lad will give me a hug, or the people I've known forever, but that's it.

I've never gotten a massage from a stranger; eventhough, most people say it's quite nice... back massage at and all that, but it's just so weird.

I did do self defense... you end up quite close and touching people (well, choking, hitting, wrapped around, throwing, etc.) and I handled that well...

Amtram
06-11-10, 01:11 PM
I gave it a test, Werl, and have determined that cyber-hugs are much more tolerable than real ones. Heh.

marie-johanne
06-11-10, 10:48 PM
Well in some parts of France actually it's FOUR cheek kisses. (but just 2 in Paris!) I'm really only used to it with my in-laws. the worst is some small party or dinner and you have to kiss everyone even if you don't know them! I swear, it takes forever to leave if say you spend the day with 8 relatives. "well thanks see you next time" *kiss*kiss*kiss*kiss* "have a good trip back" *kiss*kiss*kiss*kiss* .....

I hate having my face touched too, I thought that was just me. Oh and I can't stand to wear any type of hat.

hugging: depends on the people. Growing up we weren't "huggers" so I never thought about it. - actually I don't like it too much...

Raised in Montreal - two kisses...except for Grandmaman, who would add one right on the kisser or nose.

Don't mind being hugged if I know the person doing the hugging. Now...to sit/stand close enough so that I can feel hot breath on me and I literally want to crawl out of my skin. STEP BACK, already.

EshkaronsEngine
06-11-10, 11:02 PM
touch me baby I need your loving touch. Come on honey show me some shugar.

Werl
11-02-10, 12:43 AM
No matter what it is, I NEED to touch things. Mostly things that make noises, are soft, or have a texture I like.

shysmile
11-03-10, 01:56 PM
I've never been a touchy-feely person. With family I generally avoid hugging as much as I can, although I'll be in the mood for a hug once in a blue moon. And when I do I don't like it when they hug on too long, it feels suffocating.

I pretty much don't like being touched at all. Especially if it's light and unexpected and oh yeah, for some reason it feels way worse on the right half of my body. :confused: My entire right side is extremely touch-hypersensitive in comparison to my left, it's really weird. I can't stand anyone touching my neck and I can't even stand any inanimate object putting pressure on my neck (like a seat belt) as it makes me feel like someone is touching it and it's SO GROSS!! (less or more severe depending on mood at the time)

The only real exception is with my boyfriend, I can be ridiculously affectionate with him. :D

PixiePlumber
11-03-10, 02:05 PM
I must just be weird, but then again my brother's like this too and he's autistic!

I LOVE hugs! I love hugs from anyone who doesn't smell. I love holding hands, especially with men, even if I'm not sexually interested in them. I love kisses too, I kiss all my mum's friends on the cheek when they arrive and go (just not my own, they'd find it weird)
and stuff.

Touching is nice, I love the way things feel. The exception is things that feel bad i'm very sensitive to, and I don't like strangers touching me on buses. I had this one guy who seemed to be rubbing his elbow on the side of my stomach and I couldn't escape, he was on the outside and no matter how many times I moved he still seemed to touch me :(

But as I said, my brother is autistic, and usually you'd expect them to hate touching, but he loves cuddles and kisses and if he feels scared about something he'll jump in your bed (which annoys me 'cause he's like a human radiator, despite being so skinny!)

ChickenGirl
11-05-10, 05:09 PM
I like to touch things/people too. It is almost like I take in part of the world through touch. Although I mostly like to feel objects, I occasionally touch too.

Abi
11-05-10, 05:13 PM
I'm with Werl, Esh and barnops.

Very touchy-feely, to the point of annoying people, hugging people (male friends find this especially irritating, they probably perceive it as gayish...)

PixiePlumber
11-05-10, 05:15 PM
I'm just sensitive to touch, if something doesn't feel nice I don't like it, but if it feels good I love it. Like soft things or squishy things. I cannot stand the rubbery feeling you get from bar soap. It makes me cringe.

crackerbelly
11-05-10, 07:57 PM
This has been around for a few years. Many of you have probably already seen it but it makes me smile every time I watch it. Hopefully it can pull one more grin from you too. And it sure seems like a good clip for this thread.

FREE HUGS! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4)

fabulous
01-16-11, 06:57 PM
I'm really weird when it comes to physical contact. If I dislike someone or am upset/annoyed, I don't really want anyone to touch me. And if someone does, I usually get really stressed about it. If I like someone (as a friend or significant other), then I'm usually OK with a little contact, but I still need my space most of the time. I also usually don't like other people initiating physical touch. Even sitting on a couch with other people, I'll sometimes get uncomfortable if someone else is touching me because there isn't spare room. If I know someone really well and we're good friends, I'm fine with some physical contact and I'm less concerned about personal space. If it's a stranger, I have a huge personal space bubble and I get really distressed if someone invades it even a little.

I love animals, and have no problem with them touching me or jumping/laying on me. And I'm usually fine with most kids/babies touching me or holding them.

My little brother's autistic, and very similar to me when it comes to touch. We're fine with contact with each other, since neither of us voluntarily hug very often, etc. When he was a baby, he didn't like anyone to hold him except me. We're both far more comfortable with physical contact when the other person is someone we know well and like.

daveddd
01-17-11, 04:11 AM
i hate hugs, they are so uncomfortably awkward to me

i hate the kiss hello even worse (id like to call that off altogether )

i especially hate if a guy tries to hug me , they will be politely cut off with a hand shake

Werl
01-17-11, 10:04 AM
My parents said I didn't like being touched ar all as a baby, but now when I'm un the mode I live to give big hugs and snuggle, just don't try to touch me when I'm not in the mood.

stef
01-17-11, 10:36 AM
actually I'm so used to the cheek kissing thing now, it's weird being hugged in the states (as a greeting, I mean). especially that akward half hug kind of thing.

anonymouslyadd
01-17-11, 11:13 AM
There are times when I'm more open to being touched then other times. There are also times when I desire to touch someone (non-sexual) than other times. My mom came from behind me a few years ago, and she messed up my hair. I liked this. My dad touched my knee the other night as he was walking past me, and I didn't like it. I don't know why I feel this way.

fracturedstory
01-17-11, 10:36 PM
I'm fine as long as I initiate it. I try to prepare for someone hugging/kissing/shaking hands in greeting but I always feel super awkward.
I even get a lot of hugs off rockstars. Last time my arms held on loosely and I stepped on my of my favourite guitarist's feet.

QueenTitania
01-31-11, 07:39 PM
Bizarre. My mom always talks about how my sister hated being cuddled or anything like that. She didn't even like to sit in her lap in the rocking chair. She'd sit in laps though, like if you were you sitting on the floor she might sit on the floor with them in their lap I've heard.

Apparently I wasn't like this though and I really liked being cuddled. My sister is still like this though, I mean not really but she just doesn't have a strong 'need' for physical comfort I suppose or has never really been that into hugs. I mean, I don't know it's really neccessarily a 'problem - thing' is it?


I think someone playing with my hair is the most relaxing thing in the entire world, it feels so good and I'm very sensitive to it I suppose - in a good way. I thought everyone was like this? OK so maybe it sounds weird but for me it's like heaven practically. Too bad I've had no one to do this for in years lol.

I despise being touched sometimes too, but I think it's down to the person to be perfectly honest so I don't think that is some sort of sensory issue.

hypergirl96
01-31-11, 07:45 PM
I was just like that when I was younger! I hate, hate, HATE! Being touched. by anything. I dion't know why. It makes me feel so uncomfortable and upset.

but my mom tells me that i can never could (and i still can't) keep from touching anything in sight. I always have to pick something up and try to figure out what it does, how it works, etc.

I'm not a big person toucher. that's kinda awkward for me too, though nowhere near as awkward and uncomfortable as it is when people or other things touch me. I hate it! tags, hands, hair, leaves, jackets, anything really.

i'm not sure if this has anythiing to do with my peronality, though. im not the emotiona/intimite/romantic/empathetic type. not really my speed. im more of the sporty, hard core, go camping in the woods for the rest of your life type. well, maybe not that extreme but you get the picture.

So I can totally relate here. For awhile i thought it was just me being some kind of freak. glad to hear i'm not the only one. :)

excellent post by the way.

Bezuidenthustra
01-31-11, 07:51 PM
I generally dislike touching, particularly from strangers.

I hate hugging. HATE. I have to be know you pretty well before I'll start hugging. Even my aunt and my grandma had to struggle to get me to hug them. I've grown accustomed now to hugging smaller women (mostly an ego thing, hahaha), but even then I'm reluctant until I'm fairly close with that person.

One of my biggest peeves is people who hang around in my personal space. Don't keep touching my chest. Don't drape yourself off my shoulder. Don't even lean up against me if you don't have to. Unless you're a really, really hot girl who's interested in me, it's hands off the merch. I get super irritable very quickly. Even snapped at one of my best friends the other day for doing this. And I can't sit next to people on a bus or train - not only does the touching thing irk me, but being "trapped" between people aggravates my Tourette's tics.

tipoo
01-31-11, 07:55 PM
I hated to be touched all throughout childhood to adolescence. I will wriggle out whenever my mum and sister (my dad was not much of a hugger) and friends tried to hug me. Then I will get hug attacked. I couldn't stand it. I hated cheek kissing as well. I'm Spanish, everytime you meet someone new, it's muah muah all the time lol. Oh, the horror.

I've gotten much better. I slowly developed into being able to hug people but not getting hugged. Now I can hug strangers if I get some advance warning first. I'm not a master hugger but I now even like it. I'm still wary with strangers and there are some people I will not hug. I back off when they try it.



This, pretty much. I still don't like long hugs (a quick arm-wrap is ok), but I can put up with them now. In the rare event that I initiate the hug, its one of the quick one-armers, not a full frontal.

Its odd, I DO like having something heavy on me when I'm sleeping though.

Bezuidenthustra
01-31-11, 07:57 PM
Interesting additional point that relates to ADHD (IMHO): I struggle with handshakes. It's like there are too many elements to juggle at once. Line up hands. Firm grip. Make eye contact. Talk while shaking. Don't shake too long. Release quickly and smoothly. Don't stop talking during this time period. Square shoulders. And again, don't break eye contact. I get jumbled sometimes and come off looking a little weird, particularly if I've had really terrible sleep or forgot my meds completely.

It also doesn't help that I hate chit-chat and that I have large hands with a hard grip trained for various sports: I tend to crush hands if I'm not paying attention, and with the lack of chit-chat that comes across as really aggressive. I promise, Dude Shaking My Hand, I'm not that guy. I'm just a goof.

Bezuidenthustra
01-31-11, 07:58 PM
This, pretty much. I still don't like long hugs (a quick arm-wrap is ok), but I can put up with them now. In the rare event that I initiate the hug, its one of the quick one-armers, not a full frontal.

hahahaha! Ditto.

tipoo
01-31-11, 08:01 PM
Interesting additional point that relates to ADHD (IMHO): I struggle with handshakes. It's like there are too many elements to juggle at once. Line up hands. Firm grip. Make eye contact. Talk while shaking. Don't shake too long. Release quickly and smoothly. Don't stop talking during this time period. Square shoulders. And again, don't break eye contact. I get jumbled sometimes and come off looking a little weird, particularly if I've had really terrible sleep or forgot my meds completely.



And I return that ditto for this :D

Its true. I can focus on my hand reaching forward and grabbing yours, or I can look at you and carry on the conversation, not both.

Bezuidenthustra
01-31-11, 08:06 PM
And I return that ditto for this :D

Its true. I can focus on my hand reaching forward and grabbing yours, or I can look at you and carry on the conversation, not both.

Yeah. Shaking hands with women is particularly difficult for this reason, because there's the added element of not looking like a domineering chauvinist.

tipoo
01-31-11, 08:10 PM
Yeah. Shaking hands with women is particularly difficult for this reason, because there's the added element of not looking like a domineering chauvinist.


I always find myself wondering how hard to press. Its said that a firm handshake shows personal strength and confidence, but the line between firm and bone crusher is sometimes hard for me to get :rolleyes:

Rebelyell
01-31-11, 08:46 PM
Yeah Im w you on that tipoo.I hate men that shake hands and they got that limp fish dough boy effimate handshake.What is up w men that shake your hands like they got no strength in there shake? WTF

Rebelyell
01-31-11, 08:57 PM
Im not a touchy feely person,and Some 1 touches me and I get all herky jerky and jumpy over it.3 foot perimeter please folks

Andenia
02-02-11, 10:49 PM
I spend a lot of time with Latins, you hug and kiss to greet each person in the room coming and going. I don't like/can't stand it, it seems to be too much/overkill to me. I don't see the point in hugging and kissing (on the cheek) every time you see the person on a regular basis. If it's someone I haven't seen in a while or if it's a special occasion, that's different. Funny thing is that I love being around Latins. I was diagnosed ADHD in '09 along with major depression recurrent (mild to moderate) which was severe in early '09. Back then I couldn't stand being touched AT ALL by anyone and would cringe when anyone would.

Someone earlier posted something about liking to touch things with texture. That's me, been that way since I was a child. I love touching wood, smooth or fuzzy fabrics (fabric stores :D), things that look odd or have carvings, and I love running my fingers through hair. It doesn't turn me on, it relaxes me.

Elisha201
02-02-11, 11:42 PM
I used to hate any kind of touching and cuddling. I am better now, but I still need to be touched a certain way. Too soft and it tickles, too hard and it hurts. It drives my boyfriend crazy that it has to be just right.

I hate it when people I don't know touch me. I just want to ask them, why the hell they are touching me. I am so uncomfortable with hugs too. I almost never initiate and feel really awkward.

ArtGypsy
02-02-11, 11:46 PM
My dad doesn't like his face being touched.

Me either. I absolutely can't stand when someone touches my face. Anything else is fine.

I also can't wear make up. And I will only put lotion or sunscreen on my face is ABSOLUTELY necessary.

tipoo
02-04-11, 09:27 AM
Me either. I absolutely can't stand when someone touches my face. Anything else is fine.

I also can't wear make up. And I will only put lotion or sunscreen on my face is ABSOLUTELY necessary.


Yeah, I hate putting cream or sunscreen on. Luckily my skin is pretty good and I'm a brown dude so I don't need a whole lot of either, but I still feel icky when I have to.

Bezuidenthustra
02-04-11, 10:07 AM
Yeah, I hate putting cream or sunscreen on. Luckily my skin is pretty good and I'm a brown dude so I don't need a whole lot of either, but I still feel icky when I have to.

It took me years to get to the point where I could put on moisturizer. It's easy now, but it wasn't like that even a couple years ago. This was particularly problematic when I lived in Alberta - the air's so dry that every bit of exposed skin on my body cracked, particularly the tips of my fingers and the webbing between them, as well as my lips. Sucked so much. Not my lips. The cracking. The cracking sucked.

ArtGypsy
02-04-11, 02:02 PM
It took me years to get to the point where I could put on moisturizer. It's easy now, but it wasn't like that even a couple years ago. This was particularly problematic when I lived in Alberta - the air's so dry that every bit of exposed skin on my body cracked, particularly the tips of my fingers and the webbing between them, as well as my lips. Sucked so much. Not my lips. The cracking. The cracking sucked.

I do use lip balm/vaseline on my lips. I can't wear lip make up though. I have bought so many in hope that it wouldn't bother me, but it does. I feel like it "travels" off my lips onto my face.

And lotions, etc I feel like sits on top of my face like a mask.

When we have to have the heat on (like the last few days) I will get desperate and put lotion on - but mostly on under my chin/neck area since it doesn't feel like it does on my face.
I can put lotion on my arms or legs with no problem. And I kinda have too with having tattoos or they'll look like cr*p.

QueenTitania
02-05-11, 01:51 AM
When I was really young I despised chapstick. I remember just screaming when my mom would try and put it on me. I just remember detesting the taste and the way it felt. I also used to not be able to wear nail polish because of the 'feel' of it. I can now, no problem. It's weird to think all these odd things I did might have been related to be my ADHD.

Yuffie
02-05-11, 11:31 AM
I hate being touched and I don't like it when someone tries to hug me. I have a son in law and only hugged him once 2 weeks ago when his grandad died and I found it very uncomfortable, I felt myslef trying to pull away immediately. I didn't even hug or kiss anyone at their wedding. My other daughters partner just lunged and hugged me when we first met so now I say hello and goodbye from a distance.

It's probably one of the reasons why I won't have a relationship ever again and have been single for over a decade.

Luckily I had my children when I was young, unmedicated and very impulsive/drunk other than that the marriage was a disaster and thankfuly ended swiftly.

I can hug my grandaughter all day though, bless her:).

Issy12385
02-05-11, 11:45 AM
I didn't read all the other posts but I despised being touched, especially by people I do not know. I am not sure how I was as a baby. If you are family and you are close to me then I can accept it. However, even if I have known you for years, if you are not really close to me, I snap at people sometimes when they touch me.

I.E. my boss a few months ago was trying to comfort me after an altercation at work (nothing bad) and she went to touch me to try to console me... I automatically flinch, pull away quickly and say don't touch me, I hate being touched...

Same thing when I am upset or angry... I can't stand it! I just tell everyone I have a big personal bubble around me and please do not invade it because I may snap at you... I can't help it :-(

Celeste
02-14-11, 09:39 AM
I have absolutely no problems with close family members touching or hugging me, but I do hate it when strangers (or people who aren't close to me) randomly bump into me or push me out of the way to get somewhere.

danielj
02-17-11, 06:12 PM
I hear you there, I have this weird thing where I am the same way. If someone touches me that I don't expect them to touch me and they do, I just about jump out of my skin. It is actually very annoying...

joyrjw
03-13-11, 02:16 AM
I only like being touched by people I feel really comfortable with. If I feel comfortable with a person then I'll constantly give hugs and touch them frequently.I guess the level of comfort coincides with the level of physicality in a way. I also like touching certain things that are soft. I'm extremely sensitive and aware of physical contact and/or just physical closeness.
I don't like things close around my neck.

Fortune
03-13-11, 02:35 AM
I hated being hugged as a child throughout my teens, and my relatives forced it on me all the time. Ugh, it still bothers me. I am better about hugging now, and have been for a long time, but I really do not love to be touched in general. I remember actually flinching from soft touches from my ex, to the point of argument, as if I could control it.

I am on the autistic spectrum and I have ADHD, so the sensory issues could could be either or both.

lingslp
03-13-11, 02:48 AM
I don't really mind being touched by close family members but apparently as a baby I HATED being held by anyone other than my dad and my mom held that against me her whole life. Awkward!

m1trLG2
03-18-11, 04:09 AM
I hate being touched. I hate hate hate hate hugs. I don't know. I always thought maybe because my family was just not that huggy when I was growing up but now reading these posts it makes me wonder. There is only one person I have ever met that I like being hugged by and now he's my boyfriend. Otherwise I hate it. I hate when you're in a conversation and someone reaches out to grab you or something for effect. I cringe and I just try to think of the "natural" way to respond to touch without looking like a weirdo but inside i'm dying and completely anxious.

anisa
04-06-11, 11:11 PM
I hate being touched. But I know that, for me, some of it is sensory disorder. I feel things long after they are no longer touching me. I am ADD.

My ADHD son, however, has always required being held, from the time he was born. No matter how I tried to get him to go to sleep as a baby without being held, it was seven months before I finally got that far.

So for us, we have me who does fit that theory, and my son who is exactly the opposite!

silivrentoliel
03-20-12, 01:30 PM
Not a fan of being touched. If I don't know you, I will avoid it like the plague. If I do know you and you touch me, I get a flare of anger and if it doesn't cease quickly, I freak out. That said, I do love hugs from my husband, but often can't stand long hugs or cuddles, it's just too much, or I get antsy to get up.

I had a piano/voice teacher that liked to touch the small of my back or once my stomach (NO clue why, unless we were practicing voice?) and I backed up so quickly I tripped over my piano lol

varied_in_style
03-24-12, 12:08 AM
I can't really say how I was growing up, but as I am now I don't like to be touched. I prefer to keep my personal space. I -especially- hate my back and shoulders touched, I give death glares for that. Honestly, in general though... I find myself adding distance sometimes if someone starts to talk to me. If I feel you're standing too close, I move away a few steps. ^^;;;

jiffyPOP
04-16-12, 12:02 AM
Yes Amtram,
Your description sounds just how I feel about being touched. I have upset people I care for in the past because I did not want to cuddle or be touched. It is difficult to explain to them why, because i never understood why.

ana futura
04-24-12, 03:08 AM
I never liked being touched. To this day I hate being caressed by anyone, even my partner.

I remember being furious at my mom for caressing my arm when I was a child. At first I would yell at her not to do it, but that never seemed to work, so eventually I gave up trying to train her and I would just jerk away or grit my teeth and focus angrily on the touched area for some time after, rubbing it myself trying to rub away her touch. When she would kiss me on the cheek I would be pained by the wetness of her lips, it disgusted me. I could feel the wetness linger for what seemed like an eternity. I don't remember much from my childhood, but I remember feeling this way often.

Strong firm touch is nice though, but it has to be just right. Hugs are usually okay, but sometimes they last too long and I don't really know how to appropriately put an end to it. Same goes for handshakes.

I took the Aspie quiz and scored extremely high, but I'm pretty sure I'm just plain old ADHD.

Fuzzy12
04-25-12, 07:07 PM
This never used to be a problem but since recently (a few years) I don't like any body contact with anyone unless I'm very attracted to them.

It's not really a sensory problem though. I guess, I'm mainly worried about other people not being clean.

spunkysmum
04-25-12, 08:17 PM
Just interested to see if anyone else has similar experiences. When I was a baby, I was extremely resistant to being touched, didn't want to cuddle. (My father informed me that this was the reason Mom and I didn't get along for so many years. Yes, he did.)

I had read in a book whose title I don't recall, that this could be an early sign of ADD.


Interestingly, a few years ago my boyfriend's dad told me that when he was a baby, he didn't seem to like his dad holding him, whereas his older brother when HE was a baby liked to be held and played with by their dad. I found it an interesting insight into their relationship, and could sympathize with how that must have made his dad feel a little hurt at times, even though obviously a baby can't be held responsible for hurting somebody's feelings. And indeed, many times over the years my boyfriend has been known to shrink from being hugged unexpectedly, but lately he seems more and more okay with it.

I wonder if years of being motherless with only his dad and his brother as company and none of them being the type to be physically affectionate with each other, just made him feel strange and unused to being hugged. He has no problem with being...er...otherwise physically affectionate, but is NOT into PDA's.

-nyr0c-
04-25-12, 11:24 PM
Hmm... touch has always been a very weird thing for me. I used to be a lot worse about people touching me... but I've gotten better. I take hugs from friends and family (and even non-friends sometimes :o.) I have this one friend that hugs me all the time and it was annoying at first (still kinda is,) but I'm over it. But I hate being consoled when I cry, be it through touch or through words. I just want to get the heck away from everyone when I cry.

Apparently I used to touch other people quite a bit as a little kid; I would touch people with my feet, I would play with some people's hands (mostly my mom's, but I did it to a couple others too and it drove them nuts!), but I outgrew that mostly. Sometimes if I sit in church next to my mom, I'll hold her hand and play with it a bit (I'm weird =P)

I don't like my feet being touched at all. Same with my achillie's tendon; I get this weird feeling that my tendon will get cut sometimes if I don't cover it up with something (a blanket, a pillow, ect.) That's an annoying one. Also, my dad will scratch and rub my shoulders; I tolerate it, but honestly I'm not very comfortable when he does it. I don't want to walk away from him though cause that's mean... he's just trying to be nice to me. Also, there's this one girl who rubs my head sometimes when she walks past me; kinda annoying, but tolerable.

Oh, and I like to play with my ears, as well as other people's ears (doesn't happen that often; people don't like their ears being touched!)

That pretty much sums up my weird touching habits.

Sazzums
10-09-12, 07:43 AM
I'm a very huggy person, I do girl guiding (girl scout) leadership, and I love when the girls give me cuddles. Just dont touch my hair. Just, don't. I will only allow a hairdresser to touch it, if I really have to. But hugs/cuddles? I can't get enough.

For all the people who can't stand to be touched, does it effect your sex life at all? Just out of curiosity.

Fuzzy12
10-09-12, 08:38 AM
I absolutely need to be touched/hugged/cuddled by my husband constantly. Thankfully he's quite cuddly himself and is very generous with his affection. He knows how much it means to me. The sweetest thing is in his sleep when he can sense me coming closer he automatically stretches out his arm and pulls me towards him..like a reflex :o

When I was younger I loved hugging my family and friends. Now I don't like touching or being touched by anyone (except hubby) especially when I'm stressed. It's strange, I can feel myself tense up the moment anyone even comes close. Especially women with long hair. I'm always scared their hair will touch me. (I'm a bit weird about hair). But in general, the closeness and intimacy bothers me, especially if I feel that the closeness to warrant physical contact doesn't exist really. I have to hug most of my acquaintances when I see them and it feels so uncomfortable and fake. I'm just glad most of my acquaintances don't do the kissy-kissy thing.

stef
10-09-12, 09:00 AM
I'm just glad most of my acquaintances don't do the kissy-kissy thing.

Don't move to France! :eek:

Fuzzy12
10-09-12, 09:10 AM
Don't move to France! :eek:

lol i know :D thankfully both in the UK and in India physical contact for no reason isn't that common. Though it seems to be catching on. Ugh.

SquarePeg
10-09-12, 10:51 AM
Iīm not a hugger, although I like to cuddle babies, kittens and small dogs

It makes me feel uncomfortable, I donīt look people in the eye either.

However my adhd son loves cuddling and asks for a proper cuddle about 10 times a day, he likes me so squeeze him really tightly. I hate pushing him off but I feel like I am suffocating at time.

He is very sensory seeking though.

scrambled86
10-09-12, 12:11 PM
I hate hugs and being touched.

and I live in Holland where they kiss 3 times and hug.

Makes for some very awkward moments!

I don't think I even know how to hug properly.

Eye contact is also a challenge.

Rebelyell
10-09-12, 06:33 PM
I hate being touched3 foot perimeter please.I havent been hugged/kissed in so long I have forgotten what thats like anymore to be loved