View Full Version : ADD: I feel like it owns me..

06-25-10, 11:02 PM
I'm new to this..just joined today. So I'm not really sure if I'm posting in the right place :confused:

But I'm a 17 year old girl. I just found out within the past month that I may be ADD..
I was diagnosed 2 years ago as bipolar but there's a long story behind that. We thought it was just extreme mood changes. which these lead to me trying to kill myself after a year and a half of suicidal thoughts. Then that's how they decided it may be bipolar. I never would've thought myself to be ADD. But my dad apparently was diagnosed ADD just a few years ago. I started checking all the symptoms and found inattentive ADD. I have nearly ALL the symptoms.

I was always an extremely hyper kid. Outgoing, different, always full of energy. Up until I hit puberty. Everything changed. The past 5 years have been hell for me.
I'm really glad though now that I'm on ADD helps a lot when the med is actually in my system until it wears off :/
But I'm still new to the med. Only been on it maybe 4 days, so I know I can't lose hope yet.
I know I must be ADD though bc I'm on vyvanse, and it works sooo well. When it kicks in, I've never felt so calm, focused, and in control of my life. I normally am extremely forgetful, distracted and lose EVERYTHING. Extremely frustrating. I get depressed nearly all the time, other than I do have extreme manic phases where I'll start laughing so hard for a while that I'll cry; for no reason.

I've for the most part always been comfortable with the idea of having some kind of 'mental disorder' or whatever. And I was okay with the idea of being ADD..but now it's like, I feel powerless. I feel like I'm always going to be controlled by this mental illness. I know what I'm thinking isn't true and later I'll be okay. But I really just feel like the disorder defines me, it's what makes me me. I hate that :(

Anyone else feel this way?

06-26-10, 11:38 PM
All the time. At least you can read and write at your age lever (or close to). Being dyslexic REALLY SUCKS. Not only do I not have the attention span to read, but of I start I don't understand a word I read. That and my handwriting is illegible. Dyslexia controlls your life. ADD can be controlled (to an extent).