This is a spin-off form another thread being touchy feely with people was a problem. Well at least being told it was.

I have had guys tell em that...but of course they never complained when they getting a Massage for der bad back or muscle spasms....and they were Non Add Guys and I be lucky if I got a shoulder rub....Sigh.

Um, well there's times I don't like to be touched, but if it's a significant other, it's usually ok all the time....I like touching them on the other hand...I can't keep hands to myself hehe

I wonder why is it we can not keep Hands to ourselves....especially if attracted to a person.

I haven't been told I am touchy feely. I like to cuddle a lot but only with Ken so no one else would really know if I was or not. He doesn't complain. For us its spending time just enjoying eachothers company without necessarily needing to talk.
There are times I don't like too like once I fall asleep cause I get too hot I get night sweats but that doesn't stop us from cuddeling at least until we fall asleep. We usually complain to the other if for some reason we didn't go to bed at the sametime so we didn't get to cuddle. LOL! Oh well we can't always be tired at the sametime.

Awe how sweet Bri :)...Kevin and I WERE Like that too :(

My wife and i go through this...she says i'm too much and i don't think she's enough.

Ha, I like to cuddle but sex with a partner is frankly too much trouble (sorry but that's the fact). I'm really sensitive to touching in some areas & hate tickling. It's taken a long time to convince my wife that I REALLY don't like to be tickled. Anyways I don't even know if I"m ADD but that's my combination of confusing characteristics. There is no way I'd get tochy with anyone but my wife. I put up with hugs from friends and like the idea but still am not actually comfortable with it. A result of family upbringing I suppose. I'm quite introverted and cautious.

I like touching, but I can't stand having people in my body space if I didn't invite them into it, if you see what I mean...

Um, well there's times I don't like to be touched, but if it's a significant other, it's usually ok all the time....I like touching them on the other hand...I can't keep hands to myself hehe


ditto
often flinch when people touch me but i am touchy

Many people with ADD have issues with sensory integration. What I mean (in English ;) ) is that many of us either crave, or are easily overwhelmed by, sensations like touch. I don't dislike being touched, but light touch gives me the creepy-crawlies, and too much touching makes me antsy.

My 6-y.o. doesn't like light touch either, but absolutely can't keep his hands off things (or people). He's going to be one of those touchy-feely types!

My level of comfort with touching/closeness directly correlates to the level of intimacy in the relationship. I am thrown into a panic if an acquaintance hugs me or gives me a kiss on the cheek. I feel all creeped out and smothered. I have nearly perfected the outstretched handshake arm if I anticipate an uninvited hug coming, but sometimes I am still caught off guard. I giggle nervously and don't make much sense verbally till I recover, which takes between 5-10 minutes.

Um, well there's times I don't like to be touched, but if it's a significant other, it's usually ok all the time....I like touching them on the other hand...I can't keep hands to myself hehe-Jaimegerise

I'm the same way... minus the SO only because I don't have one.
I'm jumpy if I'm touched unexpectedly. However if I see someone approach me, I'm fine. I've hugged clients here at work (the Greek and French love to hug I found out) but only if they start it. I hug and kiss friends and so on. I wonder if its an ADD thing or because there was absolutely none of it for me growing up. You know the story, you do opposite of your parents etc.

A few problems because of my TF (Touchy Feely) is that one, my male friends sometimes think I'm flirting. Also when I'm dating someone they seem to forget I'm TF and get upset if I hug someone else. (I do not kiss others if I'm dating someone, I try to be thoughtful).

My level of comfort with touching/closeness directly correlates to the level of intimacy in the relationship. I am thrown into a panic if an acquaintance hugs me or gives me a kiss on the cheek. I feel all creeped out and smothered. I have nearly perfected the outstretched handshake arm if I anticipate an uninvited hug coming, but sometimes I am still caught off guard. I giggle nervously and don't make much sense verbally till I recover, which takes between 5-10 minutes.

Are you my twin?.... ;) here I am thinking that handshake thing was an original idea of mine.... :D

Many people with ADD have issues with sensory integration. What I mean (in English ;) ) is that many of us either crave, or are easily overwhelmed by, sensations like touch. I don't dislike being touched, but light touch gives me the creepy-crawlies, and too much touching makes me antsy.

I think I do have some sensory intergration. I never crave touching you know,hugs holding hands and such. I can not stand for anyone to be in my face ! It really feels like I'm being tortured.

I love hugs from my kids but will peel them off if they hang on for what I feel is a long hug.

I don't have a problem with crowds, I don't have any troubles with people being near me. But if I'm in line at the store and the person behind me stands very close......OMG ! I just start getting this angry feeling twords them...

I feel so freakish..... :eek:

jaimegerise & Krisp --> ditto

I HATE when people touch me, unless explicitly invited. Even a pat on the hand / shoulder gives me the "creepy crawly" as stated.

OR " I am thrown into a panic if an acquaintance hugs me or gives me a kiss on the cheek. I feel all creeped out and smothered." Oh yes !! me too.

As for crowds... That's when I really freak out - crowd claustrophobia

I am the touchy feely type to a degree. I can pick up pretty good if someone is uncomfortable being given a touch on the back or a hug. I am bad about hugging people. I will not do it unless the other person does it first. I also do not do well in relationships of the romantic kind on picking up if it is okay to be touched.

If you asked my husband that question he would laugh. I am the most un-touchy feely person there is. Unfortunately for my hubby, he is extremely touchy feely and craves the comfort of my touch. I often forget about it, imagine that, and he gets all bent out of shape because of it. I am in general a fairly unaffectionate person altogether. Oh, I have my moments, but they are few and far between. I don't so much mind being touched, I just don't ever think about reaching out to other people.

I don't know how it is for anyone else, but as for me, I'd say the ADD inhibits me from being touchy feely. I think I'm usually in my own world trying to make it through each day and don't often think about other people, namely my husband needing to be hugged.

You are not the only one Erinetoile.

I'm with the intimancy croud. I become EXTEEEEMMMly unconfortable with hugs from strangers. I have yet to have a stranger kiss me which is a good thing as I would more than likely be in jail for assult.

I like to cuddle with partner at night when it is time to unwind, but do not like being "physically restrained" when I am in the middle of doing something. Holding hands while walking into store is cool to.

One of my daughters used to perpously aggrivate me by trying to hold me too long with a hug. I'd peel her off when "time was up". :eek:

Tammy

I am touchy feely to an extent with people I am close to. If someone I just met hugs me or in some other way invades my personal space, I am usually very uncomfortable. I come from a large Italian family where everyone hugs and kisses everyone else, this is ok as long as it is, say...my mother or someone close. I am generally big on my 'personal space' and will tell people when they are invading it.

I like touching, but I can't stand having people in my body space if I didn't invite them into it, if you see what I mean...yeah, i'm like that too!
:D

My son is forever getting into trouble for "invading someone's bubble" When he talks to you he touches you. I love his hugs and kisses but it seems like every 5 minutes he's hanging on me or kissing my cheek. He gets in trouble at school daily for touchy touchy and I wonder if maybe thats why he has a hard time making friends. My biggest concern with this is if he's always touching people, (at school, work, ect) there is zero tolerance these days for "unwanted touching". What he finds harmless, (doesnt usually know he's even doing it) another person may find unacceptable. Is there a way of breaking this habit without making it seem like you are pushing him away? I don't want him to think I don't like hugs & kisses but we cant pass each other without him grabbing on for dear life.

Teach him appropiate and inappropiate places (body as well as location such as school wrok ect..) Start young, the younger the better. I have a daughter now 17 who used to be "my clinging vine" drove me nuts. Her Dad gets the credit for teaching by example. When he spoke to her he would gently touch her shoulder. When he was busy and need space he would tell her "now is not the time" He aught her when, where and whom to touch. He lead by example.

Funny her twin sister is just the opposite, she hates to be touched. When she was little people at church would want to hug her "because she was so cute". Michelle got real good at the quick step back offer hand shake menuever.By the time she was four she was an expert at avoiding unwanted hugs. She used to tell me she hated it when too many grown ups huged her as " my head smells of arm pits" She too had to learn the appropiate and polite way of handling unconfortable situations like unwanted hugs from people at church.(except for the exteme abusive kind, then is when yelling, screaming and even cursing becomes appropiate)

Both girls have been diagnosed with ADD. One had co-morbid DX ( bi-polar)

Tammy

Touchy, feely :D

There are LIMITED times that I'm not.

And I'm definitely not overly affectionate and don't want it, either.

I'm touchy feely as in "ANIMATED".

I seem to be more comfortable with hugs and such and I like being close intimately. I do not like sitting close to people on airplanes, movie theaters etc. , People that I dont know or just met. Like the people that always hug you when they say hi or goodbye, thats just not me.

Just reading this thread and wondered if there were very many of us that like the light touch (tickling), I thought maybe that was an AD/HD thing or that it is a stimulation thing. Anybody know?

Depends one WHO is tickling me. Also I don't like to be tickled when I am in the middle of some thing like a business phone call; tickling me when I am sleeping may just get you kicked or hit. If I am awake and in a playful mood with someone I "know well enough" I don't mind being lightly touched (that I would enjoy) or tickled ( only if I can tickle back)

Tammy

I think ADDer's are more touchy than non-ADDer's, and the people I know do not like being told that they are touchy feely, but they are just the same. Non-ADDer's are touchy feely but no one cares.

Many people with ADD have issues with sensory integration. What I mean (in English ;) ) is that many of us either crave, or are easily overwhelmed by, sensations like touch. I don't dislike being touched, but light touch gives me the creepy-crawlies, and too much touching makes me antsy.


I pretty much feel the same way. I can deal with people hugging/touching/kissing me, but I don't like it. I've trained in various martial arts, mainly tae-kwon-do and jujitsu, and because of so when people normally touch my shoulder from behind (as an example) I normally put them in a hand or arm lock. Hehe, this isn't as bad as it seems and it's all over in less than a second until I realize I know the person, but people I know have learned not to approach me unexpectly from behind.

My hardest time with this was actually over the summer in Brazil where I worked as an intern. First of all, the people are great! They are normally always friendly, but have a thing with touching. A girl showed me around and kept leaning on me and other brushing actions. Most girls in Brazil did this, and most guys had a thing with putting their arm around my shoulder. This made me kind of uncomfortable, but I could deal with it except with the girl who was showing me around. After a week I had to tell her I had a thing with people touching me and she actually understood me and respected it. It was nice knowing that people understood my "quirks", even though she made fun of me at times, but it was all in good show hehe.

The only people I actually free comfortable touching is a girl I'm very attracted to and care for. I've had girlfriend's complain that I don't like holding their hands in public, but they never really understood why I felt that way. Kinda weird on my part, eh? Once I feel comfortable with a person, I can't keep my hands off of them. With my parents and close family, on the other hand, I constantly hug them when I get the chance to see them.

Non-ADDer's are touchy feely but no one cares.

Is that because non-ADDers just aren't as cute as we are? :D

"But if I'm in line at the store and the person behind me stands very close......OMG ! I just start getting this angry feeling twords them..."
Oh yes!!!! I get this animal feeling of agression when someone unexpectedly gets to close, and I have to tell myself it is alright, it is alright. Especially in public transport where everyone gets cooped up together.

About touching: I seem to be OK when I initiate the brief hug or the contact, but I hate anything that doesn't come from me, when I lose the control I find it all too complicated. I find relationships pretty impossible because of this, and also because of all the etiquette of how to do things, it all overwhelms me. Anyone have real problem with relationships? And how do you overcome this as it is pretty lonely!

I think that the touchy-feely thing has more to do with learning style than ADD. In case you wondering, there are 3 major learning styles - visual, auditory, and kinesthetic (seeing, hearing, and doing). As a dominant kinesthetic learner, I have to get my hands on it to learn something. I am also extremely touchy-feely. I believe the two go together pretty consistently.

D. Pershing

I have that problem in grocery stores and department stores. I finally got to where I would turn around and say, Pardon me, would you mind backing up a few feet, your in my pseronal space and itis creeping me out!!!! Yeah, I get weird looks, I also "freak" mumbled under their breath, but, it is part of standing up, I stand up when something is going on that I dont like....and I make it known that I dont like it. I am courteous and respectful. I just make it known.
As far as touchy feeley....I have my days where I cant stand to touch anyone, the thought of it sends me into a whirling panic attack. I am not a perosn who is clingy, I had to learn how to beindependant at an early age and I am of the opinion that noone can do anything for me, that I cant do for myself if I try hard enough! Now, With that said....Well....I think that is all for now LOL, sorry just totally lost my train of thought! Sigh!

Im fine with hugging, but I absolutely HATE tickling and I don't like massages (I know, weird). Tickling and massages actually hurt me! No matter how soft it is. My bf think its the weirdest thing and he doesn't understand this. I get MAJORLY ****ed off whenever he does this. Its over-stimulation to me. Anyone else feel like this?

Massage is great but yes it's very intense and has to be done carefully with annoying amounts of verbal directions from me to avoid the 'ticklish' areas.

"oh yeah, no STOP!, up, no down, over, etc..."

I'm very much not the touchy-feely type. It makes me uncomfortable when even a close friend or family member touches me, except for hugs on special occasions. The only exception is boyfriends, of course, but it takes me a long time to warm up to someone enough to even touch their arm or anything. I'm not big on those random touches. However, in the case of the boyfriend, I do like it when they touch my arm or put their hand around my waste etc. to a certain extent, not for too long at a time.

I'm pretty untouchy-feely. I feel awkward giving anybody a hug aside from my husband. I only hug if the other person starts it and I rarely kiss cheeks, I just kiss air. Being touched frequently or for long periods of times makes me feel antsy. I'm very verbally affectionate and very friendly with others, but I'm usually not very physical in any sense. Sometimes my husband questions why I don't physically touch him as often as he does with me...all I can say is Sorry honey, I'm just not used to being that way but I'll try to improve it.

I love this topic! I always thought my issues with touching came from being raised in a very un-touchy-feely family. But I can also remember getting so annoyed when I was little and my mother or grandmother would stroke my head or back when reading a story or something, and they'd keep going over the same place until it was like rubbing me with sandpaper. And it took me a long time to get used to friends being physically affectionate, but as most of my close female friends are like this, I've learned to deal with it and even like it - I do like hugs from people I like - but I don't know that I'll ever be able to initiate any of it. Being touched in any way by a stranger or someone I don't like just totally freaks me out, or having them in my personal space. It's actually probably worse from someone I know but don't like... anyone else get this? Even if they're just trying to be friendly and not actually sleezy or creepy in any way, it makes my skin crawl.

After saying all that, though, I think there is a touchy-feely person inside me... maybe it has to do with being a mainly kinesthetic learner, as pershingd said. I LOVE massages, done properly of course, and I've had this repeating fantasy of being in a relationship where I feel comfortable enough with a guy to be touchy-feely (though no hand-holding, that feels way too clingy to me which drives me nuts). Haven't found one yet. :(

So that was me baring my soul, or part anyway, and now I should just hit submit before I get for saying this much :eek:

My husband and I are very affectionate, although I find myself cringeing or pulling away or being irritated for a second sometimes, then I quickly like it very much (scratchies, tickles, snuggles) and I touch him a lot and give him back scratchies and tickles and I like to squeeze his ear lobe. *Weep!* We hold hands all the time, so I would say my husband and I are really touchy feely. People comment that they are suprised we've been together so long because we still always touch each other. He rubs my neck, or he pets my head in public. I usually don't do this to him in public situations though, except when we are like on a plane or whatever, but he does it as he talks to people. The cringeing comes in when my mind races and I respond to the touch weird, after it registers I enjoy/encourage it. Lots of hugs and kisses.

But when it comes to other people, I don't like to touch or be touched. I do initiate hugs with close friends, and am not bothered by hugs from friends though I don't really like them.

I don't like to touch anyone too b/c it grosses/creeps me out or something, makes me feel uncomfortable. Not in a sexual way but in a dirt and other people's couties kind of way. I'm not a total germaphobe but I don't like being that close to other people physcially.

My father and my family back in NY are big on giving each other kisses... Even as a kid I didn't like it when dad would kiss me on the cheek everynight before bed. I didn't hate it but I would have prefered he not but never said anything since it wasn't a big deal and he is so sweet I didn't want to hurt his feel bads. When I go back to NY and they just come at you with a kiss, they don't are if it lands on your cheek or you lips.... Arrghhh! There is nothing like getting a big smooch on the lips from your Uncle. Bleck! And I know that it's just culture, it's our family, it's sweet and I apprisiate the gesture of affection but dear god!

If I were single.... I don't think I would flirt with touch. (and I don't remember doing so when I was.... long time ago though can't really remember) I have to get super comfortable around a mate (could take hours, a week, months depends on the lad) to even kiss or touch very much, then the gates are open after the first encounter so to speak. It's a forign vessel, a strange creature.... ya know?

Animals on the other hand, I love to pet animals! Even if they are gross and stinky, they are so cute! My favorite aninmal is donkey's! (no donkey jokes people....) They have the most precious sweet faces and they are stalkie and fuzzy, I will pull over to pet a donkey. (yes, I live in a city, where certain houses are still zoned for farm animals, and thus an occassional donkey....) I would like to have a donkey as a pet but it's too high maintaince, I have a snake, which only requires to be fed weekly, and if his water dish goes dry, he's fine because he's a snake. (although I don't negelect him I swear!) He doesn't require to be touched either, so he doesn't ned affection and "play time". But if I was wealthy, I would have a couple doneky's and spoil them rotten and dress them up.

Man, I always get so off the point....

So for those who are very untouchy feely but are in a happy marrage with children. How do you deal with intimacy? Both me and my girlfriend have ADD, and she is very uncomfortable with being touched, but I have a hard time keeping myself back (I get hurt by it every now and then).

Not sure if I can spell this correctly but I believe the word is COMPRIMIZE!!!A bit of open comminucation will enable this process. She has a NEED for her personal space, and it should be respected.I too REQUIRE some touching when I'm intamintly involved should your girlfriend wish to comminucate her closeness in a way you "understand" this too should be respected. I think a good agreement between the two of you as where you both get what you need by open honest, non-acusing talking. Neather of you is "wrong" start there. I had to do this with my partner who is the non-touchie ADHD and we both ended up with our needs being met. It takes a bit of time and adjustment but well worth the risk.

this ADDer is very affectionate. I love to hug, hold hands, snuggle and be cozy with my guy. *sigh* Yeah, and I love to hug my kids and my pupster. ;) Hey, I even want to send you all a hug and I don't even know you.....yet!

So for those who are very untouchy feely but are in a happy marrage with children. How do you deal with intimacy? Both me and my girlfriend have ADD, and she is very uncomfortable with being touched, but I have a hard time keeping myself back (I get hurt by it every now and then).
Same here. My wife non-Add not touchy. Me very touchy. She has told me enough to stop touching /hands off etc... and I have learned to compromise (e.g. stop giving back rubs while she is sleeping,). Simply I back off more and I try not to take her lack of physical touch as a sign of a lack of relationship closeness. I never asked to be more touchy but a backrub once a year would be great!

I like touching, but I can't stand having people in my body space if I didn't invite them into it, if you see what I mean...
Such an interesting aspect of ADD. I the same. Like to initiate touching, but need my "personal" space when talking to people, otherwise I don't process a darn thing they say and all I canthink about is how damn close they are to me.
In short - I don't like close talkers.

I'm the ADHD'er in the relationship and I love touch, the more the better from my S.O. I love hugs, snuggling, kissing, touching my hair(I have very long hair) very intimate, soft touches to the face, run your hand slightly down face profile..:) I guess you would call me very touchy-feely. Thank God my S.O. is ok with this, because i am always running my fingers down his arm, or running my fingers in his hair, or talking with my hands and feeling the need to touch his arm or something..almost like needing to know that I am being acknowledged and not ignored..stupid..huh?
I find with intimacy, or just going to bed..I like to be able to touch him and be touched by him even if just sleeping..as long as I can feel his touch I am fine..must be a security thing. anybody else like this? or am I the only one on this?

I love friendly hugs from my kids and my close friends; male or female.

Now if I do NOT know someone or only by acquaintenace...it freaks me out. I get very upset..almost like a panic attack...and soemtimes even certain people I see at work or other places..give me creepie-crawlies and they have never touched me...that is just too much.

I allow very few people to get close enough to touch me. I'm not one for touching others either, unless it's a good friend and I know they can be trusted.

I feel as though I too am a touch feely person. I like to pat people on the back, or slap hi 4. I squeeze peoples shoulders for encouragment and a thank u kinda gesture. Even with this new guy i am seeing, I take the intitaive and took his hand when we were in the movies, or I started to rub his leg. I think physcial contact or touching is good, and helathy to any relationship.

I know there are rules in schools now about touching, but when i was in elementary school it was not uncommon to get a hug or a pat on the back for a job well done. Now adays it seems as though everyone goes overboard with it and claims sexual harrasment on every little touch!

I don't know if that's just me (I'm probably just weird...) but...a sensation that's pleasant at first (like lightly having the insides of my arms stroked with fingertips) becomes irritating after a short while and I get quite annoyed and push the hand that I longed for to caress me, away, or ask my partner to stroke at a different spot. I often sound annoyed while saying that. Same applies to genital area. It just feels like my nerve endings become too sensitive after too much stimulation, quite quickly, whereas firm touch, like stroking my arms with the palm, is ok, and I don't get annoyed by the feeling most of the time, as I crave the comfort. Is that odd?

I seem to be a little of both. If I know and like the person, Ill sit on their lap, but crowds & standing in line, I have a wide personal space. I will avoid things I might like to not be in these situations

uuugh, I know what you mean moonlily...I was in the post office last week in line and the guy behind me felt that everything would move a bit faster if he kept within two inches of me...really invaded my "comfort zone"...and I consider myself very touchy feely. I give everyone about two feet if I can just to respect their comfort zones.

that wonderfull confort zone. Don't you just hate it when someone is talking to you and they are just about nose to nose with you. Everytime you step back they step forward. my mother in law had a boyfriend that way, I ended up standing next to anything just so he couldn't get to close to me while we were talking. But i do get touchy feely in a relationship, I try not to pour it on in public, though. More when we are alone or i feel like there aren't a lot of people around

i will defend my personal space very proactively--that is, someone crowds me in a line ill back up into them--o im sorry, didnt know you were right on top of me. if im crowded by someone leaning into me in a conversation ill usually lean right into them--oh, sorry i dont hear so well & this close i cant read lips

now, if its someone im close with (one of the few) i may end up ambushing them with a hug, peck on the cheek/forehead, whatever. those who i call friends at work i will invite hugs just because...maybe they need one, maybe i need one (ohyeah!!) it was hugs from a lot of people that helped me reach my sobritey, and its a lot of hugs from a few people that are helping to keep me from getting really down these days

Yes to that and anyone that know me wil tell ya I love to hug. I love to be touched and cuddled. I love to have my hair brushed when it was long it would give me the shiver on my spine.

I love hugs from children they are so innocent. My niece know 14 will come up to me when she needs a hug and gently put her arms around my waist and hug me. I love to be touch in a gentle way.

I know when someone touches me from behind I will jump that is the only kind of touch I dont like. Even if I know them it makes me jump.


auntchris:p

I think i am very sensitive to touch, anyone who touches me , i feel this electric charge that goes thrue all my body, and like Chris if someone touches me from behind , even if i know they are there i will jump for sure. I do not like to be touch , by strangers, i have been told that it's shows in my attitude and usualy people back off. That is the first impression they have of me:eek: . I have been called cold, icy, and snob. Actually i am the total opposite for people i love, i am very touchy and huggy, and kissy LOL ask my 18 yrs old :p ..I will touch total stanger, it's ok if i initiate the touch, the opposite i have problems with. Weird hey!!

I'm little touchy feely, I'll sometimes get in peoples spaces, but I'm uncomfortable with them in mine.
An ex friend of mine, a years back, used to always tap me on the leg when he spoke to me, it irritated the hell out of me one day, so I touched him heavily (if you get my drift!!):( , no regrets though cos he turned out a complete twit years later.:D:D
back to the point i tend to stiffen up or freeze when people touch me (even with my girl!!)
it's really embrassing but at least I know why now, and I'm know I'm not the only one.

I have a colleague who is ADHD and touchy feely.. I'm not like that, and being touched by "touch-feely" people makes me tense. Some people know how to touch me in a way that does not bother me, which I find interesting, but can not explain.

I tolerate it because my colleage is a nice person, and I realize that most people just don't understand my sensory issues.

Interestingly enough, I have never had a problem with it with a significant other...In fact when I was married, my ex and I were always sitting next to each other so that we were touching at all times. We were very "touchy-feely" with each other.... always making contact.

I don't understand how I can dislike touch, but like it *sometimes*.

Me :D

:cool: I am very touchy. I am always rubbibg my husbands back, touching his hair (which is curly:) ) , I have always spent hours brushing my girls hair etc.etc.etc. I also love being touched, back rubs and having my hair brushed etc. I think it has alot to do with the stimulation that I get from it. Having my hair brushed is very calming or if done by the right person (hubby) it is a big turn on. I do think it has a link to both how you were raised and ADD. But it is one part of my ADD I would not change.

I love being touched. Massages are SO GREAT!
I'm not really touchy feely myself unless I'm sexually attracted to a woman....then I have Velcro hands. :-)
Unfortunately my wife has personal space issues and doesn't like doing the touching or having anyone within about a foot of her space most of the time.
So, you can see how this would pose a problem in my marriage, eh?
Of course, I keep my hands to myself around ALL other women but it drives me crazy sometimes. Especially when I meet a woman who IS touchy feely.

I wouldn't say I was overly "touchy feely" I come from a single parent family where "touchy feely" behaviour was openly rejected so I guess some of that comes from my upbringing, I find it really easy to be physically affectionate with almost any children, animals and people I'm EXTREMELY comfortable with but apart from that I prefer not to be touched by people as it makes me feel quiet uncomfortable.

I have a 5 year old god daughter with ADHD who seems to be similar to me in the sense of not liking to be held for long periods of time, not liking people right in her personal space and if you hold her for too long she goes into a panic and says "I can't breathe"...I remember being like this too, but overall I think it depends on the person.

Sel:)

I can relate to the sensation of being touched, stroked etc being pleasant at first but irritating after a long period of time and I hate the same place being rubbed, touched or stroked for too long and I generally move away or if I'm in a romantic/sexual situation I'll quietly guide the partner's hand to another part of my bodyI don't know if that's just me (I'm probably just weird...) but...a sensation that's pleasant at first (like lightly having the insides of my arms stroked with fingertips) becomes irritating after a short while and I get quite annoyed and push the hand that I longed for to caress me, away, or ask my partner to stroke at a different spot. I often sound annoyed while saying that. Same applies to genital area. It just feels like my nerve endings become too sensitive after too much stimulation, quite quickly, whereas firm touch, like stroking my arms with the palm, is ok, and I don't get annoyed by the feeling most of the time, as I crave the comfort. Is that odd?

I crave human contact, I am all alone.

I love my comfort zones being taken seriously

I also LOVE being touched..i'm a touchy - feely person for sure... I'm a cuddler, my daughter bless her is only 2 yrs old she has ADHD I just know she will... but she did'nt like hugs or touch for a long time...i think within the last 4 months shes started to give a hug like a real one...and she says she loves me and so yup totally forgot what i was saying. :)

my b/f...he likes being touched to just HATES being tickled but I think a lot of ADHD people do...And he's not the most touchy/feely...but i think that also has to do with his bipolar stuff and then some of the ADHD stuff....

so yeah...i'm just rambling...i like this poll though.

I am decidedly NOT touch-feely. and I don't like being touched by people. EXCEPT... In a close relationship I will be very touch-effly and I will like being touched by that person only. I am very cuddly in romance, but otherwise, not at all.

Me :D

Hyperactive children suffer with poor social skills and have difficulty making friends.

In large part that is due to their poor ability to inhibit impulses. That is often demonstrated by literally being in other kids face(s) with poor boundaries, talking too loud, being unable to sit still and in, general, overwhelming other kids.

Along with that goes talking excessively, frequently interrupting, being "bossy," and being unable to monitor their own behavior; including paying attention to how their behavior effects others.

All of those are associated with the Executive Functions.

That probably goes for grown-ups too?

Some people don't want to be looked at or smiled at....let alone be touched. I try to be sensitive to that, but I am very affectionate and invite smiles, hugs and kisses.

i like it all
dont care if strangers are close to me either

sometimes ppl hugging me gets annoying

I'm definitely a huggy-touchy-feely (and anything else that ends in "y") kind of person!

I do not like to be touched by anyone. I have to remind myself daily to show physical affection towards my husband and child. It's really hard on my husband. He feels rejected at times. Cuddling is the worst!! I feel like I'm being held down and can't move. I'm physically and emotionally uncomfortable when cuddling. It's strange but a quick, friendly hello hug doesn't bother me. Maybe because it's so superficial and unattached. Can you tell I wasn't hugged as a child?? LOL

I am touchy feeling with people I am completely comfortable with, other than that I am not really. Sometimes I surprise people though, and myself. :) ...so I guess it just depends.

I HATE HUGS. I know ppl are just trying to be nice but i can't stand giving or getting hugs. I feel like people are violating my space. when people give me a hug i usually squirm to get out. is anyone else like this?

is anyone else like this

Yes especially if they try to hold onto me too long.

I'm a non-ADD'er...(but actually in the process of being tested for inattentive ADD) and BF is ADD. I can say he is extremely touchy feely...and I absolutely LOVE it! He'll be constantly rubbing my shoulders, playing with my hair, giving me hugs from behind, or stroking my arm. He often complains that he's always coming on to me and I never initiate the touching, so I am trying to be more touchy feely myself. =)

I love being touched. Not by ppl that I dont like though.

{{{{HUG}}}} to Luthien. :)

I prefer people to stay the heck away from me. I even get uncomfortable if people stand too close to me when I'm talking. I can be affectionate in romantic relationships, but I often am told that I'm "too distant." I think this trait has more to do with having been sexually abused, than being ADD.

I will add that once I got a pat down search at the airport and the woman that searched me was really hot-- I didn't mind at all then:)!

I'm not a huge snuggler except with kids and animals. I can't get enough of animals. With my hubby, I'll snuggle him now and then. Sometimes he hugs me when I'm trying to do something, like dishes, and then I'll kind of wriggle away, but it's a bit of a joke with us. He knows that it bugs me when he does that.

But tickling???? Massages?????! Oh, my, can't get enough of them. Back scratching? I could receive that kind of stuff all day. My hubby's not much for receiving massages, etc., but I give them to my brother fairly frequently.

Light tickling just about anywhere on me I just LOVE! So relaxing. It's like my brain quiets down when someone does it. I once did a session of biofeedback and the woman administering it asked me what relaxed me, and I mentioned that being tickled did. So she ticked my neck and head a little and every measurement for stress took a nose dive. Pretty funny.

But tickling???? Massages?????! Oh, my, can't get enough of them. Back scratching? I could receive that kind of stuff all day. My hubby's not much for receiving massages, etc., but I give them to my brother fairly frequently.

Light tickling just about anywhere on me I just LOVE! So relaxing. It's like my brain quiets down when someone does it. I once did a session of biofeedback and the woman administering it asked me what relaxed me, and I mentioned that being tickled did. So she ticked my neck and head a little and every measurement for stress took a nose dive. Pretty funny.

oh gosh :eek:

I have that too!!! I always used to beg my gf's to pleaseplease scratch that one small area under my left shoulder blade ohh just a bit higher .. er .. *sighhh* *closes eyes*

I have often described this as "gearing my brain down" .. I once went to a massage therapist and she did this deep tissue massage on my back .. and I don't know where my mind has been in that half hour, but it may have been to Andromeda and back. It was such an intense experience .. so totally amazing, this incredible profound clear quiet and peace. It is indeed remarkably similar to what dexedrine does .. it may be even better.

Although - it would be rather inconvenient to have someone follow you everywhere you go *giggle* just to keep my brain in low gear. I'd love to have a brain scan made to prove the effect of this .. I am certain that things will show up.


If I were a criminal and the police would come to arrest me they would have an easy time .. just start tickling on my back and I would follow them hahaha

Luthien, you are such a cutie pie!

Actually, I think it really does give my brain something to "occupy" itself with, so I sort of focus in on the tickle, and that allows me to quiet everything down to think more clearly. My hubby does this thing we call "stealth tickling," where he'll pick up in one spot on my back (just my back, folks, nothing sexy here!) and come down in another spot but without any sort of "warning," if you will. I completely hyperfocus on that. The way I always put it before I knew that I had ADD was "you can't escape the tickle."

Funny funny. A friend of mine who has ADD says she's the exact same way. Her hubby knows that all he has to do to make her feel better is tickle her.

same to you http://www.emoticons.free.fr/smileys/Personage-Girl/girl_flirt.gif

but - does it with you also have the effect that you really feel your brain gearing down? Literally really like a speeding car with a whining engine (like you're in a too low gear) when it slows down dramatically from 140 mph to 20 or so ?

Yes, totally. I feel everything slow down. Heart rate, breathing, everything. It's like a drug.

I like my personal space. I don't understand folks who always want to hug people they barely know.

{{{{{{HUG: Nietzche~dyingInside}}}}}}. ;)

I'm VERY ANTI-touch usually, but in a relationship, it's the other way around.

My last boyfriend said it drove him nuts how much I was all over him and wanted to touch him all the time. I am super ANTI-touchy feely if it is just a FRIEND. I hate hugs, etc unless it's someone I'm dating and sexually into.

I don't really like touching others or being touched. Not that I'm against it, I just feel it isn't necessary.
Also I have this odd physical trait. I am more touch sensitive (or ticklish) on the entire right half of my body, from my neck to my right foot and between. If someone touches my left shoulder I don't mind. If they touch the right half of my neck (say, while hugging) I feel totally uncomfortable and squirm away. It gives me the chills down my right leg really.

I sometimes can't even stand to have a seatbelt touch my right shoulder because it just feels too clingy.

My personal space zone is much smaller on my left. If we're all squished on a couch I prefer family members sit on my left, while I may encourage a boyfriend or close friend to sit on my right (more cozy!). I don't tell anyone of course, as they would think I was nuts. :rolleyes:These are just secret weird preferences of mine.

Hi everyone, this is my first post, new here...

I just had to comment about the waiting in line thing with someone breathing down your neck - I hate that :mad:

I start getting this rising anger where I'm trying to will them to back off, until I eventually will back into them or swing my basket around and then apologise really loudly 'Oh! I didn't realise you were standing that close to me', hoping that it embarasses them. I'm 100% not confrontational but in this case I get really annoyed...

As for being touchy feely... I'm totally the opposite. It's caused many problems in relationships :( I just don't think to go looking for hugs and I get crowded with cuddling or random stroking. I don't mind physical contact but if it's prolonged I'm just like 'get off me!'. Also, I really need my space in bed, I can't stand my partner taking up my space or having an arm around me, say. Sad.

I can handle hugging someone hello briefly if I like them, but hugging someone I dont like the look of, or members of my family for some reason creeps me out.