on here? I just joined a few days ago. I have posted a few responses to topics, but know body seems to respond! I don't expect everyone to think that MY response are so interesting that they feel like they should respond, but of my 4 responses to other people's messages, I haven't got anything! there seems to be a lot of activity on here(maybe most people are Parents and there posting on the child forum, I don't know, I'm a single ADD adult, I don't check those area's)...a problem I see with this forum is there are WAY to many topics to choose from...I can reallly tell this is a ADD place, that's for sure! I'm a member of 3-4 other forum's non-ADD related and this is by far the most topics/choices I have seen...overkill!

I'm sorry you feel that way. Have you used this software before? It sometimes takes a bit of getting use to in order that you have it set up the way you like it. Once I got it set up and learnt to use the "new posts" feature I was ok with it.

We are a varied lot I'll grant you that! I have a way too many interests but I no longer want it any other way.

Is there some way we can help you get what you need here? Spend some time searching out the things that interest you and maybe even subscribe to a few threads that you want to follow. I hope you can find your way around a bit better with a little familiarity.

Post back if you need a hand.

Cheers! ian

I've got to do something about that avatar! It looks like I'm a new Papa or something.. my youngest is almost eleven now and I can't even smell a diaper!
Cheers! ian

Hi Cameron,
I guess there is a little hostility or resentment or something in (some) of your messages and maybe that's part of the reason. I don't think it's overwhelming at all but when just chipping in on another topic, it's harder to get a response. I remember I almost replied to your intro but cancelled before sending. The only reason I'm rude enough to mention this is because 1. you asked and 2. I know I've done that on other forums in the past. Folks are incredibly friendly here compared to other places though. I hope you can make it work out.

Oh and, if you start a new topic, it's very rare to see a message ignored.

So, have you tried any meds or treatment of any sort? I have and nothing much seems to help. Have you got a diagnosis from a doc that you respect? Most of us have other co-existing conditions too so it can be hard to sort out & really understand.

Looking forward to more questions from you. BTW I'm about an hour from Sacramento... we can use more CA folk here, there's just a handful of us.

Have

Hi Cameron,

I know this is late in coming but I happened to see your post about not getting replies and felt the need to tell you possibly why. I read some of your posts, one in particular about marriage and I saw something that reminded me of my own past behaviours. Part of ADD is impulsivity as you mentioned about yourself already. Some of that impulsivity involves thinking out loud and also thinking that it's your way or the highway. That is something I had to learn about the hard way because I was the one that always ended up on the high way "Alone". Thank God I was lucky enough to make some lifetime friends that put up with me until I realized I had to change my attitude and mind you I did this without drugs so it took a long time. I also had problems with love relationships and friendships until I decided to really look at what I was saying to people and how it came across.

I believe that my parents passed the ADD on to me and not only was impulsivity my nature as an ADDer but I was brought up to judge people and think out loud because that is the example I lived with every day until I got married and left home. One of the major things I learned about my own ADD is that thinking of others and being considerate of where they are coming from did not come naturally to me. It was something I had to work on very hard. After a while it started to become more natural. The other thing that helped me greatly was my belief in God. I did a lot of praying and asking God to open my heart to others. One of the most important things I learned is not to be a judge of others. I'm sure you've heard the saying "Take the piece of wood out of your own eye before you try to remove it from your brother's eye". Not the exact words but I'm sure you get the meaning.

No one is perfect in this world. Everyone has made mistakes including you and I. How would you feel if no one every forgave you for past mistakes you made or wanted to give you another chance? I was once judgmental of others but am no longer as I have made many mistakes in my own life. I love and care for other people as they are and let God their creator be the judge. Of course I don't condone bad behavior but I know when the right time is to speak and when it is not. I always try to put the shoe on my own foot before I speak. There are many aspects of ADD that make us come across the wrong way socially and it was not easy for me to learn the right things to say and not to say. I can't tell you it's easy, but it's worth it. Medication may also help with that. I never thought I'd suggest that to anyone and you can ask everyone here how anti-meds I was until I had some serious problems that led me to have to take medication myself. I probably annoyed people myself when I wrote so many posts against medication.

I am still in the learning process of being more open minded about things, especially when I know little or nothing about subjects and feel the urge to comment on them. I find that before I speak about something, I should look into it first and not just open my mouth. I have studied people for years. I find that sometimes listening is much better then speaking. Do much listening first before speaking. Having ADD, I never was a good listener and now am trying very hard to be a better listener. Since I decided to work on myself and my behaviours my life has changed greatly. I make friends very easily and have many. I have more confidence than I ever had before. Don't get me wrong though, I have my moments of totally no self esteem and have to work through it. I am far far from cured of my negative behaviours but because I continue to look at "my own negative behaviours" and not others my life is much better. What I did was to take one bad behaviour at a time and work on it. Having ADD made it all the harder but I didn't give up and it was well worth it.

I hope nothing I have said comes across as offensive to you but when I saw one of your posts I saw myself and how I used to react to things. I just thought maybe I could give you some insight as to why others react the way they do. Your life can change too, but it's all up to you. It's a matter of having compassion for others first and really putting yourself in their shoes before you speak and judge them. It's a matter of really thinking about what you are saying before you put it out on the table. Maybe you are used to being judged harshly yourself, but most people are not. So really think before you share your thoughts and if you need to study how people relate then that may be a good thing for you too. It helped me a lot. Sorry this post was so long but I am hoping something I may have said will help. Post me anytime and take care. Dee