We know PTSD is set off by triggers but have you ever had those times tiggers sneaks up without warning and dont even need anything to trigger flashbacks? I have experienced those...some last a few seconds and some longer but with nothing to trigger it at all.

Are these of memories or actual flashbacks?

I'm pretty sure that in this case flashbacks and memories would be the samething described by two words.

Yes, I can be hit by a series of small flashbacks/memories within minutes of each other by something as simple as an odor or a tone someone uses with me. I know what causes them because that is how I recover I focus all my energy on what the trigger was instead of the memory/flashback.

I just hate the Major flashbacks that are so horrible I CAN'T breath! Then It's hard to focus on something else.:(

Sorry! no worries, I got off my **** and googled for it. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

-- was --
'Scuze my ignorance, but could you tell me what PTSD is?

Then first focus on breathing once you get in control of that, focus on what the trigger was once you pinpoint all your triggers the flashbacks are usually a lot more mild due to the fact that you know one is coming and are already focusing on why that darn trigger keeps setting them off.

Sometimes that is the scarey thing something doesn't have to set them off....it pops up out of now where...and If I am thinking of "you Know who", Futs...sometimes it all comes back....ack this be so much easier if I can get my Ex out of my head...already forgave him..cause he is ill....but I wish the past would not return to haunt me in just one rush!

Then first focus on breathing once you get in control of that...
I don't presume to know the first thing about your situation Mel... umm Draga (?) so I hope you can excuse me butting in. But Nucking_Futs has a point about the breathing and how it releates to anxiety.

My doc gave me some advice about dealing with extreme anxiety, apparently there's an observable physiological process in the body releated to the ancient 'fight or flight' instinct we all still possess. It starts with an increase in respiration, which improves oxegenation on the blood supply to muscles and is necessary to increase adrenalin output and so on...

Anyway, the point was if you concentrate on breathing and get it under control your body simply cannot progress into fight or flight and anxiety is significantly reduced.

If you can count to 3 breathing in , then count to 3 breathing out thus you are only taking a breath about every 6 seconds you'll prevent this physical reaction.

It's the sudden increase in anxiety that makes situations like social anxiety/fear of hights or flying feel even worse than they should. And a reduction in anxiety makes you much more clear headed to be able to face what ever it is at the centre of your problem.

In that cause I be breathing like that when I leave the house LOL....ppl outside of forums don't help anxiety either

Thanks Futz and dex :) will try it next time

the fight or flight thing was one of the first explanations i was given to help me understand what was happening to me.

and the breathing thing sometimes works for me but not always, although i do always try to do it, i can just be so worked up adrenaline pumping that its already to late for the breathing, it can come on so fast.

there can be so many triggers to set it off, but what i find the worst is if i let myself relax, really relax that's when it all floods back and im reliving it all again

even now i feel anxious as im typing expecting to have it pop into my head but somehow at the same time i keep it out, i cant explain it but if i let myself start to think about it i can keep it locked up?????? go figure :confused:

if you know all the triggers great but i think that they can change over time which makes it so much harder for us to control but that's only my opinion

Oh yeah, Claw....Mine come without warning and noting has to trigger them so how can we control someting that just sneaks up on us out of no where.

I am wondering if the events of our past is so severly traumatic that it could be why they sneak up on us...especially if you had years of trauma.

Sumfin to chew on

Are you sure NOTHING triggers them? I mean triggers can be something as simple as a certain shade of red, a scent, way of speaking, the list goes on and everybodies minds work differently. That is why focusing on the why you were triggered is so important. It not only takes your mind off of flashbacks and memories but sometimes your able to say "hey, that's it!" knowing your self and your own mind is the key to healing.

I get surprise triggers yet but they no longer cripple me.

I guess recognizing them if it really is that way is harder to point out with the ADHD.....I am so confussed sometimes.

Melanie, I have ADHD as well...ya need another excuse. Your afraid we've all been there the question really is...how badly do you want a real life one without fear when you leave your house? One were you can have a flashback and say NOW DAMNIT I DON'T HAVE TIME TODAY and push it away. It's a long scarry and self bullying road you have to start off with baby steps (YOU know that). But, I have all the faith in the world that YOU can and WILL do it Mel. One quote that alway's helped me "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION" I would repeat it over and over as a mantra during particularly brutal flashbacks...the point is take the focus off the flashback on put it on something YOU control. I consider it taking back your life.

I think That Part be easier once I move out of this house.....the irony of my Guilded cage is that in the only place I feel safe is also the place where every room is a memory so it is hard not to think of it and when I think of it..there goes a trigger sometimes and I do scream it away and shake it out of my head,...but does not work all the time....

But on other hand, when I was away from house and at work....they would come out from No where.....kinda why this is hard to figure out....

Seems there is no place to go to get away from them.:(

And there will never be until you buckle down and confront them. I think your right on the money... don't think of moving in with your sister as moving into a concentration camp look at is a BEGINNING. This is the first day of the rest of your life Mel...there will be flashbacks and bad days the question is how do YOU choose to live YOUR life?

Ack...another 1,000,000 question I have yet to figure out...I dont want to be a victim of my past but then again scared of being someone else's victim!

The doc I'm seeing also told me I have ptsd. My reactions don't seem to match the norm though. There have been chronic trauma's, such as child abuse, and instantaneous trauma's, such as being hit by cars 4 times in my 45 years. Outright terror, again from the abuser when I was about 5 yrs. old. It just seems that ptsd and adhd are sort of opposites. All the abuse issues have already been addressed, and yes that involves re-experiencing it. My problem is that I can't get over the indignation of some experiences, am still sorely disappointed. I've learned to process through all of that. My reaction is numbness and quietness, and I think that goes back to infantility, a baby will just lay there hoping it stops. No fight, no flight, play possum so to speak. Making up my own theories again:). But, what about the type of therapy where you work through each trauma, beginning, middle and most importantly, end. I think that taking firm hold of the reactions and telling myself this is not going to happen, works as a stop gap, but I've always wanted to "cure" things. I have a story about a girlfriend that broke up with me, a few times. Each time was devastating and a huge emotional event (i'm part italian). It finally occured to me, to go thought one big hurt and be done with it, instead of going back again and again. They say there is a God shaped hole in our hearts, I say there are many shaped holes, and one of them is for a mate. Having that ripped out is traumatic in itself, but what if this was applied to ptsd? It sucks, but when we lose something, even negative, it leaves an opening that needs to be filled. Open wound? I have been physically hurt far more from the car accidents than from abuse, but the abuse is the one that stays.
So what is the answer? I don't accept that there is no answer. The abuse was offered instead of what would have been healthy, therefore, it took up space reseved for something else. I had to understand where that comes from, and can't blame the abuser any more, because things happend in his life, and his reaction was to abuse me.
I absolutely had to work on that, because nothing sucks worse than turning out to be just like the person you hate most. hehe. The point is, there is an answer, and nobody likes it when i suggest that these traumatic experiences have to be delved into and that you have to go very very close to them in order to overcome permanently. It's like saying you should willingly enter into the situation that caused the trauma to begin with. I firmly believe it though.
With the adhd traits of emotionally experiencing everything i see, and hyperfocusing, it makes sense that we should be able to overcome the effects of thing that happened to us.

We know PTSD is set off by triggers but have you ever had those times tiggers sneaks up without warning and dont even need anything to trigger flashbacks? I have experienced those...some last a few seconds and some longer but with nothing to trigger it at all.

Are these of memories or actual flashbacks?
Draga, yes, most definately. These type of triggers sort of creep up and take me by surprise. Mine are usually associated with the initial event, so I know they are actual flashbacks. I just wish I knew what the trigger was, because it appears to be nothing at all, but is it? Could it be the subconscious playing tricks?

This appears to be a grey area.

I'm sorry to hear you suffer PTSD too:( . It isn't easy....:)
~Viktoria

...can't blame the abuser any more, because things happend in his life, and his reaction was to abuse me.
...we should be able to overcome the effects of thing that happened to us.

This is way close to my heart so excuse me if I come across as angry.
I cannot but ask you was your abuser a child?
If not then there is NO EXCUSE
There is NO EXCUSE for an adult to abuse a child. NONE ! ZIPPO ! NADA !!!

If your abuse came from a child I can understand that you have to let that go and not blame another child from acting out.

But I cannot ever let this one comment go without becoming argumentative about it.
I will be angry for you if you do not feel righteous in it.

Again excuse me for expressing my anger I do not mean it in any way other than being supportive of another abuse survivor.

I am learning...Maybe eventually I can forgive the person...but never NEVER can I forgive the act:mad:

Forgiveness it almost seems like an unobtainable goal. Like climbing the highest mountain and reaching out for a handful of cloud only to find out that it's not something tangible. :(

I've managed to find away to "forgive" my trespassers. My abuse occured as a child so I spent more then half my life afraid and angry. So angry that it literally burned holes in my stomach. How did I learn to forgive? Not even I know the answer to that one. I guess it all came down to being tired of being afraid, tired of pulling away from anyone who tried to touch me, tired of pushing everyone and everything dear away from me; but, most of all I was tired of hiding from myself.

Forgiveness in this situation is not perfect...it's not like having your husband forget to pick up milk at the store and having to do it yourself. It's flawed in some elemental way that is so hard to explain. I forgive those who hurt me but would not trust them as far as I could throw them. Maybe I've just learned to forgive myself for being a victim.

I can't explain it I just know that I feel more at peace with myself.

I am reading a book right now calling Learning to Forgive.....it's enlightening...Can't wait for movie to come out :rolleyes: :p

Charlie,

I thank you for being angry for me. I have been very very angry and had to work on anger specifically. I have always been explosively angry. Typically, argumentative, then silent, then explode. Yes, forgiveness is the key. It has to be done.

The reason is that, those events and that person will always have power over me through the anger. And, it's just normal human behaviour, to pass on what we were "taught" through the actions of others. Now that's power.

The person in question was very young at the time. But not a child. However, I believe him to be an "adult child". No there is no excuse. But, I can't be a slave to what happened. And I certainly must learn a different way of thinking. I have done some ****ty things to ppl in my lifetime, because of my own anger. How do I excuse myself? I had to see where it came from, and understand that it came to those ppl somehow also. The hardest thing to do is stop the cycle. I have to eat it somehow and not pass it on. I got help, and the rest of my family did not. That's my triumph and my freedom.

How can I be forgiven, if I can't forgive. Not forget. As a matter of fact, I tried to talk about abuse issues with the abuser. He was not open to that, and now I choose not to participate in that family. I'm open to some type of interaction, but not under these conditions. So, I do forgive the person, but I will never ever forget, and I won't participate unless there is some sort of apology or remorse.

I too play the perspective game. It's the secret to recovery.

You right...Even if things happened to a person before..there is no excuse for repeat of pattern no matter the age.....Patterns must stop and has to stop with the survivor

I understand Charlies viewpoint. I've run into that brick wall many times. But that is blame, and blame is not healthy. Healthy is to know where the other person is responsible for their actions and what those actions did to you. When trying to forgive, you can't help getting the feeling that you've been placed in a lower than human position,singled out, or that the abuse was ok. And that is what charlie is pointing out as unacceptable. You have to be able to go against some natural feelings, and trust your mind on this matter. This feeling, that overcomes the knowledge, is also what makes you feel shameful that these things ever happened. That shame will stop you from making amends to the ppl you owe it to. That feeling, makes me want to abuse the abuser. What does that make me? An abuser. It's a dirty trick.
You have to take responsibilty for your own actions, and in doing so, give responsibility to others for their own actions. I'm not responsible for what someone else did. My only regret, is that the shame behind the anger had power over me for 30 some years.
This is a big issue and very important. It takes committment and a lot of work, and a lot of hurt. But in the end, if I didn't do it, I would never be capable of knowing, feeling, giving and receiving true love. I need that! hehe.

Tim

PS. LOL, I have to tell you, the abusive step dad's name is Charlie also. LOLLOL

PPS. There's a saying that God doesn't give you more that you can handle. It has crossed my mind, that things are harder for some, because the others wouldn't be able to handle it. Just a thought.

Yeah.....still I think of the many other who couldn't handle PTSD and are "No longer with us" I personally feel it does not matter who has had it worse or better.....PTSD, depression, etc. it all may effect in different levels but the one thing is the same....IT HURTS and we need time,, support, and love among other things to pull us through it.