I often get the feeling that, even when I'm with my friends, that I'm not good enough for them...that I don't fully belong in their group, if that makes sense?

A lot of them are Notre Dame grads and had successful careers before becoming at-home moms and I barely graduated high school and just kind of quit going to my college classes at the local state school. In my head, I know that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but somewhere inside, it bothers me. I'm not a witty speaker and have trouble saying what I want to say lots of times and feel like that sets me apart, too.

I'm not sure I'm putting into words exactly how I feel, but wondered if anyone else ever feels the same way...like even in your closest relationships that you're more of a spectator than a participant.

Julie

I often get the feeling that, even when I'm with my friends, that I'm not good enough for them...that I don't fully belong in their group, if that makes sense?

Every now and then some people make me feel this way. I've also found that most of the time those some people make everyone feel that way it's not just me. And then some times it is just me :D

Yes yes yes! I feel the same way. I also crawled through school and it was a true miracle to graduate with my class. Plus, I have been going to college trying to get a two year degree for the last ten years! I am really sensitive about education and my intelligence too. I have tried to have friends.

My ex-husband thought I was weird because I didn't like to be surrounded by women friends. He used to pressure me at parties and ohhh, how I hated that. Bad memories at social functions. I had to drink to socialize.

Some of my worst memories took place in grade school while I desperately wanted to be like by the popular girls. How cruel girls can be. They only grow up to be cruel adults. Some not. At my son's school, there are some really sweet women there. But there are also a few clicky women who are snotty.

So geminichick, I guess what I am trying to say is, that I quit trying to fit in. I am happier too! Not so depressed. I still think too much about conversations I had, etc. I am a unique fun girl and I would guess you are too. Let it all hang out and you would be surprised how admired you will be.

It's not so much that I'm trying to fit in, because I do have fun and get involved with tons of stuff in both my mom's group and with my friends...I appear to be very self-confident to people, but I always feel like I'm saying the wrong thing and have that little voice inside my head telling me what a mess I am.

I knew that I didn't quite get that out as I intended...I think it's more of a not feeling fully involved in things...like I'm on the sidelines while everyone else is playing the game...

Julie

Just remember that ADDer's are wired differently. Many of have trouble with low self esteem and fitting into the "Norms" world. I was like until i found this forum and realized that there are a lot of people out there just like me...well maybe not quite like me.:D

Look around the posts a bit...there are many i've found helpful.

Gemini,

It's good you see this the way you do. That it is the way you see yourself, and not necessarily an accurate picture.

You might try looking into CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). It's helped me a great deal with self esteem issues, and a more realistic self image. I still have problems, but life is a little less painful these days.

It's not so much that I'm trying to fit in, because I do have fun and get involved with tons of stuff in both my mom's group and with my friends...I appear to be very self-confident to people, but I always feel like I'm saying the wrong thing and have that little voice inside my head telling me what a mess I am.

I knew that I didn't quite get that out as I intended...I think it's more of a not feeling fully involved in things...like I'm on the sidelines while everyone else is playing the game...

Julie

Yes ! :)

Boy can I relate to this issue. My self-esteem has been low most of my life until I found out that something actually "WAS" different about me and that it didn't have to be negative. My self-esteem issues stem from failures during my younger life because I tried to do things like everyone else that I couldn't because my brain is wired differently. Now that I understand myself I have more patience with myself and I know that I can do just about anything I want to do but it has to be in a way that may be a little different then some people. I have to do what is best for myself and know that I can be successful if I do it that way. I do get frustrated sometimes which is only human but I have to remind myself that I "can" do it in my own time and the way that is best for me. If people don't have the patience or understanding then I know I need to move on to something different. I certainly have my ups and downs and frustrations but now that I have knowledge and know my negatives and positives it makes a world of difference. I know that I try my best to be a good person, a hard worker, good friend, a good mother, wife and daughter and that's what really counts. There will always be people that make me feel uncomfortable and it's just something I have to accept and deal with. The most important thing is that I have friends that accept me for who I am and that don't judge me. Those are the people to stick by. If you need to impress someone all the time then they are not worth having as friends. A true friend will stick by you no matter what and I am lucky to have some friends like that. Dee

This is why I'M here: we always hang around ppl we have something in common with anyway, right??

They're not "better" than you are - they're common denominator is just different.