paulbf
07-31-04, 03:35 AM
I thought this ought to go in the relationship section or adult but anyways... I'm just divorced (11 years) after a bit of a crisis over my career & things generally melting down, being in a rut, recent diagnosis, etc.
So anyways, the wife (who I'm still living with and on good terms for a while (now that the house is sold ...long story)... um, so she thought I was full of crap about ADD (partly 'cause our couple's counselor (who is himself ADD in denial) said it's a bogus diagnosis... so anyways today the wife met with her old highschool buddy she hasn't seen in years from Taiwan where they grew up and the buddy has an ADD son and my wife came home & cried on my shoulder saying "I'm sorry you are ADD" meaning she finally believes it.
The old HS buddy in Taiwan, has a boy with inattentive ADD, says he's really smart but struggles badly and because ADD is not recognized in Taiwan, she comes to the US once a year to get meds for him. She's super well read on the topic!
NOW YOU BELIEVE!!! (divorce papers filed, house sold....)
But that's OK, we may put things back together some day, I'm still a mess and I've got a boatload of other non-ADD related emotional issues that I'm trying to come to terms with. Frankly my ADD is not the core of my problems, in fact I'd say it's my strongest point damnit! Things were indeed in an unproductive rut and needed to be shook loose and it's a good thing she finally drew the line and broke us loose from our malaise.
In fact we might put the credit for breaking the vicious cycle on my ADD. It was ultimately my stubborn ADD refusal to accept an unacceptable situation in my career path that pulled the final straw on the camels back. But I didn't know about the ADD (just acted impulsively on my feelings). The new career failed too... But in the end we all do what we need to do and this made me realize that ADD is part of my puzzle and really believe it all made sense and I was on the right path and understand better how to follow that path.
So I turned things upside down (as was required) but couldn't find how to get out and she finally realized that yeah, something *was* seriously wrong and pushed it one more step which got me into therapy and identified the ADD and while things aren't hardly resolved yet, I really do feel like it's headed down the right path now and out of the rut.
And finally she understands!
So anyways, the wife (who I'm still living with and on good terms for a while (now that the house is sold ...long story)... um, so she thought I was full of crap about ADD (partly 'cause our couple's counselor (who is himself ADD in denial) said it's a bogus diagnosis... so anyways today the wife met with her old highschool buddy she hasn't seen in years from Taiwan where they grew up and the buddy has an ADD son and my wife came home & cried on my shoulder saying "I'm sorry you are ADD" meaning she finally believes it.
The old HS buddy in Taiwan, has a boy with inattentive ADD, says he's really smart but struggles badly and because ADD is not recognized in Taiwan, she comes to the US once a year to get meds for him. She's super well read on the topic!
NOW YOU BELIEVE!!! (divorce papers filed, house sold....)
But that's OK, we may put things back together some day, I'm still a mess and I've got a boatload of other non-ADD related emotional issues that I'm trying to come to terms with. Frankly my ADD is not the core of my problems, in fact I'd say it's my strongest point damnit! Things were indeed in an unproductive rut and needed to be shook loose and it's a good thing she finally drew the line and broke us loose from our malaise.
In fact we might put the credit for breaking the vicious cycle on my ADD. It was ultimately my stubborn ADD refusal to accept an unacceptable situation in my career path that pulled the final straw on the camels back. But I didn't know about the ADD (just acted impulsively on my feelings). The new career failed too... But in the end we all do what we need to do and this made me realize that ADD is part of my puzzle and really believe it all made sense and I was on the right path and understand better how to follow that path.
So I turned things upside down (as was required) but couldn't find how to get out and she finally realized that yeah, something *was* seriously wrong and pushed it one more step which got me into therapy and identified the ADD and while things aren't hardly resolved yet, I really do feel like it's headed down the right path now and out of the rut.
And finally she understands!