Three Word Story [Archive] - Page 4 - ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community

paulbf

09-06-04, 01:29 PM

OK this is just nuts... I've been avoiding this thread & look what I do when I finally venture in:
(this is only like the first eigth of it all)

The young handsome man, who was completely full of ideas about how to make his hair turn pink ran into the Big Brick Wall He hurt his now bloody nose which was full of large boogers from the cold he had for he yelled out he doesn't know how to ask. The doctors couldn't help him out Because his boyfriend was a doot who liked asparagooose in the strangest concoctions of soup which burned his mouth while trying to swallow without blowing.

He then met Ladies on a wildebeest safari in the dark jungles of east Texas where desert sands cover the wide floor of his large sand box. In his apartment one morning his cats are running away quickly because the mouse in the sandbox has little funny teeth chewing on medium rare steak and sipping on glasses of hurricanes.

His friend who called himself an expert was also gay and a giant rodent trainer who also time traveled to the Mesozoic in search of large animals to become part of army of rodents who would help his quest for the golden globe which he would use to rectify the evils of people who - unlike the mutant trolls - cannot learn to count to seven because they only have three fingers and 7 thumbs on their feet where the warts looked like Nixon.

They were crooks who had crooked toes that struck me as funny cause it had purple nail polish and gold glitter and tiny jewels. No polish remover or emery board to remove the thin shell of the enamel that protected microfilm hidden in the big toe by the many small grains of sand through the hourglass of this thread. These are getting very monotomous but it's different at times funny. Moving right along to the bar we buy everybody a round of apple martinis and ginger snaps and drink the stuff while eating T-Bone steaks, cole-slaw & fries and enjoy a laugh.

No longer hungry, we went to survey the surrounding countryside, hoping to party like it was 1999, but since it's 2004: can't afford gas so the party was to be held at the corner store where they sell a hundred and one dalmation spots in the shape of phallic doots. They barked at the owner who was walking past. He was headed to the desert To drain his body of toxins onto a cactus which was growing out of a strangely misshapen crater presumably made by disgruntled, heavily medicated bats, who were under the spell of rasberry tea. Godspeed my son.

He smiles and shoots the guy with his big bow and arrow that Cupid had found on e-bay, and got a deal he couldn't refuse and took his large but strong arms and wrapped the wooly booga that hung from the great big perpendicular crossbeam of neon lights that flicker during the starry night sky.

So, this doot serenades his love with his guitar these immortal words: beee dododododoot! and she says, "What!?" and then she asks for a big glass of Tequilia and grapefruit. While drinking, she snacks on some deep-fried grasshoppers and kibbles and asks - in French or in pig latin if she'd like to have some chocolate-dipped. She's highly allergic to strawberry seeds. She suddenly became deathly ill and was covered with big liver spots on his liver. He rushed to the hospital to get a bottle of antidote, but they were out and so he snoodelyoooked and all the way to the bank Laughing like a hyena on speed but feeling kinda sorta like a youknowwhat on a thingamajigger of doom according to the public.

After that, feeling rather foolish he decided to get some coffee. Black, with extra vanilla flavored creamer and sprinkled with cherries and chocolate milk. He looked all over for his favorite cup but it was stolen by an overly sensitive burglar. The burglar said "friends, Romans, lend me your money, before I freak out and drop this cup!" In a flash he disappeared, leaving behind only a muddy footprint. It's dirty floors reaked with the smell of doots who loved to do the dew jumping out of used pez dispensers in the trash.

Meanwhile, back at Old McDonald's Farm there was a a horned piddledoot who was named EIEIO and then in an instant that eieio went "KABOOOOOOM!" but for the first of the month to pay its monthly dues to Horned Piddledoot Society, but the dues were so outrageously expensive that he robbed a bank with a gun, asked the teller as she hurled all over his Gucci handbag. Rich Corinthian leather it was, and it had pink feathers on the inside. He loved the soft feel of the big fluffy and lush extruded plastic before it rotted.

While she was drying her nails a bird dropped a magic yarn onto her shoe. Suddenly, her shoe exploded with delight all over her smigglesmacks. BUT THEN! a human head zoomed out of her shoe and went to get a piece of brain for her pet cat, Eric. Eric was a tubby ole cat who hardly moved and ate Lasagna without cheese. But his teeth wobbled and loosened every time he bit anything harder than a rubber mouse so he considered a real mouse would be quite risky. Instead, he went shopping at Victoria's Secret and found himself in sexy woman's lingerie in the back of the bus he took to San Francisco to find his doodledoot.

After locating his youknowwhat, he said "Doodledoot, you". After that, he burned it and applied some salve to its wounds. "Lookie here", said the fireman who drove the rig over the doodledoot while singing this like some crazy Janice Joplin impersonator clown on goofballs aka Cher. When Chastity stopped in and said, "Hey got any bourbon?" She pulled out Annie Green Springs. She had a real nice pair of banjos on the back side of her big rear end and car trunk. She was here just asking for the karmic retribution which the universe managed to bestow on the wrong person.

All of a sudden she felt a chill run down her earlobe, so without thinking she blurted out this unintelligable chant, strange and inappropriate before sacrificing a badger and a litte boy child to spirits of days past. in the mean while outside, a little drunken goat was tethered to a much larger drunken zebra with pink hooves and red ears that looked like Spock from startrek during the middle of episode 2.

I noticed from the back of my mind, that there was a very fast moving car with a trailer attached to it. the driver was a big fat greasy smelly professional wrestler named Todd the Hog who was often dressed as a cheerleader or clown while wrestling. he intimidated his opponents with jalapeno peppers often. Supossedly he was born in another galaxy, where he had an aunt named Bella Donna, who was a mafia wife with five of Joe's 15 grand stashed away in the Keebler Elve's pants, along with three rolls of paper towels and four garbage bags full of old Punk Rock Albums including his favorite Bay area bands with safety pins.

He was hoping for three dice and lady luck holding tequila shooters and fifty dollars while shaking her money makers for money and a helicopter with a hot pink propeller to fly them to New Orleans for a hurricane. Meanwhile, in Lithuania, Nigel was busy with his friend's novel, that was very long and it weighed 1,004,382 pounds! WOW. It was titled: he snibbersnobber's snook! A romantic tale of love and horror set in a haunted haberdashery on the riverfront behind the butcher's illegal dumping ground where the wildlife has been.

It's been over four years now due to tripe being in menudo hell. For the most part, it costs too freaking much to dance naked in public with stage props balanced precariously on a street light without consulting your next of kin for legal advice. However, if you remember your sister's tarnished reputation and trip the light fantastic, you can have a bagel with lox and cream cheese and gefilte fish and pickled herring with matzo ball soup if you don't, then run-on sentences will be abundant and rule the world of identical twins who were seated in Yankee Stadium by Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen impersonators.

If he could catch the ball we would clap!