View Full Version : I need your help with my diagnosis


abk1337
12-08-10, 07:22 PM
Hello my name is Amir I am 19 and I need some support and tips. I have been struggling with ADHD all of my life, (or atleast since 6 from actual memories that I have) and I have thought that this was all because of "how I was" or how everybody else was. Until just recently, I didn't think much about it until I was studying with my friends one day and one of them got prescribed Adderall XR.

It was 9PM (I know, LOL!) and we were studying History and sciences. My friend says Hey I went to the doctor and I got prescribed Adderall. Mind you, we are all honest to goodness young adults who are responsible, do not do drugs, alchohal, smoke, or weed. We all have part-time jobs and all are family loving peoples.

After a minute of talking, my friend basicly went to his family doctor and said he couldn't study not for the purpose of getting prescribed ADHD or medicine, but to honestly get some support from his doctor. Nevertheless, he got quickly prescribed Adderall Generic XR 20MG as a "try it out" from his doctor and "let me know how it works for you" kind of thing.

Fast forward back to my apartment. I ask him will anything happen as I am a health concious individual, and he said no. So both my friends and I take the Adderall.

At first, within 30 minutes, I resumed my studies and didn't think much about it. I put on my earphones and played some "White Noise" (www.simplynoise.com (http://www.simplynoise.com)) as this helps me concentrate and avoid outside noise.

About an hour in, I couldn't believe it. For some reason my mind was absolutely calm and I didn't tap the table stand, move around in my seat, beat my pencil on the table, or just generally constantly move and shuffle like I have been my entire life.

My mind was absolutely clear. Normally thoughts come to me, not he other way around. This time, it was the reverse. I looked around and it was like how I felt when I put on my glasses for the first time. Everything instantly was clear (Non visually). I looked at my book and I didn't have any thoughts coming into me. I didn't feel like getting up and do a handstand or just go check the fridge. I was absolutely calm and it was like, as I have read on these forums many times, truely a "fog has been cleared".

I continued to read my history book. Normally I struggle to read anything I am not passionate about as I have to reread it multiple times. I always catch myself thinking about something else despite my eyes reading over the words. This constant struggle of "checks and balances" always leaves me fatigued and my eyes sometimes water (maybe a drop) as I try to focus on the subject as it is so important to me.

All 3 of us took a break. We gathered in my kitchen and started conversating about random things. As I stood there, I had a feeling I have never felt before. I was at east, I stood there and actually was "listening" to what they were saying. When I replied, there was this brief moment, that really wasn't even a moment but this "something else" that was there that normally wasn't before. I was able to speak and actually think and understand what I say before having to push it out of my mouth. We moved onto a more interesting topic and usually when I am talking about something I am into I tend to (no, I always) interrupt others as I can't wait to tell them what I mean. Before I took adderall, that is just how I was, but after much research of ADHD and taking adderall a few more times, I realize and understand that the reason I spurt things out loud or push it or disrupt others is because when I want to say something really bad, if I have to wait for someone to finish what they are saying, I either forget what I was going to say, or while they are saying what they are saying and I have to wait on them, it is like it is impossible for me to process what they are saying, and by the time I do end up saying what I wanted to say, it is either too late into the conversation or it doesn't make any more sense.

Anyways, I was a new "sociable" me from what I realized. I actually made sense in what I said and I felt amazing (Not the short eurhoria that has already faded away from taking adderall about 8 times in a span of 2 months, but the feeling of finally something being right).

Anyways, that was that study session. I read the book and took in so much information that I had never been able to do. And the taking it at 9PM thing, haha, I didn't mind it. My friends left at 1 and from 1 to 6am I just researched ADHD with an absolute mesmerized daze from the focus. This is the same daze I get when I play video games :)

Anyways, as you can see I can write so much and I know you guys time are short and you don't want to read an autobiography

Among the other times I've taken Adderall are for 2 history tests, 2 times studying for those history tests, 1 time for a school day, 1 time that study night that I just wrote about, 1 time for black friday at work, and 1 time now that I am taking a break from reading 60 pages.

I have been almost so obsessed with the dramatic life changing, enhancing results, that I have paid 300 dollars for my school Psychologist to diagnose me for ADHD...

I have explained to her my life, ever since my earliest non snapshot memories of 6, in which I have struggled with what I bombarded her with symptoms. From focus problems, getting in trouble in school for shouting out answers, not staying still, talking to much, getting in school suspension for yelling out a biology class game of jeopardy because I couldn't hold the excitement, to now transitioned symptoms into my adult hood of losing things, not paying my bills on time, having a harder time at work and at school, to much much more.

My diagnosis is still going on but 2 days have passed and here is what happened...

I told my Psychologist my symptoms for 3 hours straight in which she agreed was ADHD...Every symptom and story of those symptoms throughout my life I explained to her, her eyes shines for a second as she can match the symptoms with the DSM IV list that she has been studying with and learned her entire career...

After that 3 hour session, we immediately did some tests. One with blocks in which I have to recreate shapes with colors, one with repeating numbers, one with shapes and patterns, one with doing calculations in my head, and so on.

I struggled greatly with the 5-6 digit number re-iterations and saying them backwards. I got one of those head aches (Not headache, two different thing) in which my head hurts when I do certain things. She explained to me that that is because of my part of my head taking the extra work of the other part not working correctly...

That session ended and the next day session 2.

Session 2 started with 360 question scantron'd personality test that asked me about my life, drug use, if i wanted to kill myself and others ect. I finished that pretty fast and the next one was :

The one where you are on a computer with a box infront of you. I was told to click the mouse when I saw a 3 and click when I heard a 5. That lasted for 20 minutes. I struggled with it , but halfway through the test I hyperfocused (The type of gaze and focus I get when playing video games) and she said I "failed" the test for ADHD (As in I wasn't)

She told me that this was the main test for ADHD. She then said "You told me you are a gamer right? Tell me more about that"

I explained how I game exclusively on the PC and I am absolutely in love with it to the point that I had to cancel my internet for my greater good. She asked me if I liked FPS games and I said yes!!

She said okay, I will talk to my supervisor and see what we have to do because since you are a gamer, these results may not be fully right.

---

She then proceeded to give me a form to fill out, one for, one for my mom to rate me from ages 6-12, and one for a co-worker.

I did it, and turned them in and she called me and said she got the results. I have not heard anything since. (1 day already).

--------------------------------

If you've read this far already, I thank you. My main question I have is this: Should I tell this lady that I have tried Adderall (Once only though) and the dramatic "Eye-glasses" instant positive results that I had with it? On one end of the spectrum, this can help with my diagnosis. She isn't a doctor and herself cannot prescribe me with medicine, but can control my diagnosis. On the other end, Adderall being the most overprescribed medicine and abused especially among college kids in universities (Which I am, and in which the ADHD Diagnosis is being done at my school) she may use this against me and think I am just trying to get the drug to do bad things with.

Writing this and thinking about it, as well as friend's opinions, I am split. The medicine has dramatic results in work, school, and social fields of my life. I need the support and opinions of you adults with ADHD and experience with psychologists! Help!

p.s. I will not, and have even told my friends, that once and if I get prescribed adderall or any other ADHD medicine, will not lend, give, sell, or anything else to anybody. It will be kept and used only by me, as prescribed by my doctor.

some extras: also I forgot to add that I have been taking Caffeine as told by my non insurance'd 40 dollars a visit doctor because he said that "this" was not his practice and I need to see a psychologist (This was like 4 months back). Definately caffeine stops my physical urge to move around and shuffle every part of my body, but it does very little to my mental inattentiveness. I made sure to say the caffeine helps me to my psychologist and she said yes, ADHD medicine is a stimulant like caffeine and they have the same effects.

From taking Adderall compared to caffeine, they both calm me down phsyically to the point where I can stay in one spot and not move which feels awesome. The things that adderall does for me that caffine doesn't is cure the inattentiveness, as well as one of my favorite effects of removing every and all social anxiety. I can actually talk to a stranger and control my auto produced anxious thoughts as they don't exist when the few times i've been on Adderall...

On black friday, (I work at bestbuy --geeksquad) I performed the best I have ever have been before, and my supervisor told me that a secret shopper district manager observed me (me unknowing of this) for 15 minutes and he told my supervisor "Who is he, I like him, he's going places"

So please let me know, should I tell my psychologist I have taken Adderall, or should I wait and let her do further diagnosing or actually give me an answer from my diagnosis?

abk1337
12-09-10, 04:23 PM
good news, she called me and said she is doing the report and my results are adhd combined both inattentive but also very hyper active. she said she will give me many accommodations in classes as well as she will help me acquire medication.

yessss life is going to be good

finallyfound10
12-09-10, 11:28 PM
Good Luck Amir!! Keep us posted! I am very glad to see that you won't give your meds to other people!

abk1337
01-12-11, 10:36 PM
School psychologist called me in Today and I went in and got my report. She wrote a 9 page report over everything that happened in my testing including like 8 tests and the results with explanations on there.

She told me about the school accomadations, student services, and also medication but she barely touched base on that if anything.

I went to the student health services and told them that "I was told to come here" and showed them my ADHD diagnosis paper. They sent me to a Psychiatrist room in the health services building and she told me she isn't available right now but on the 21st, and I would have to pay 40 dollars for an Hour and a half session

WTH!! I thought my 300 dollars for testing is enough! What else must I do? Anybody with experience in this scenario?

Can't I just go to a regular doctor, show them my papers, and ask them what must I need to be medicated? What does the Psychiatrist need to do now? She told me it's 40 for her 1 hour 30 minute visit, as well as 20 for visits after that. WHAT?????

help please I'm tired of waiting >.<

abk1337
01-17-11, 04:08 PM
bump!

StoicNate
01-17-11, 04:24 PM
Sometimes it takes a lot of money to get diagnosed with ADHD if you don't have insurance.

I have insurance and only pay $20 each time I see my doctor.

Unbelievable
01-17-11, 06:20 PM
I was able to take my diagnosis directly to my MD, but I'm sorry I don't know how your university system works.

abk1337
01-21-11, 12:41 PM
[UPDATE] !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to Psychiatrist

Nurse took my weight and blood pressure

Psychiatrist sat down for 40 minutes, asked me some questions about myself, and went straight to drug. HE PRESCRIBE ME ON THE SPOT!@!

I went to my pharmacy from school 10 footsteps away and got my adderall !!!!!

w00t w00t life is g00d!

anonymouslyadd
01-21-11, 01:01 PM
I wouldn't, but you may want to say something about your friend taking it. Does your friend have similarities to you? I mean I know your friend didn't get the adderall for ADD, but does he/she act like you? You could spin it like my friend has noticed fairly good results, and we act the same.

Don't tell them that you have taken it without a script.

maggie403
01-27-11, 06:20 PM
Thanks for sharing your story - it's given me something to hope for!

I know all the dr visits seem like a lot of money - but the rates they are giving you actually seem pretty reasonable. And it's so cool that you've been able to find people to spend the time and take you seriously and diagnose you. I've been willing to pay anything and have waited months just to find someone willing to see me!

Good luck!

Trooper Keith
01-27-11, 11:51 PM
The reason you have to pay for seeing the psychiatrist is that he is a highly skilled individual who deserves to be justly compensated for his work. $40 for 90 minutes is extremely cheap.

ampi
01-31-11, 11:45 AM
Nice story, abk :)

I'm in a similar boat, started to realise I can relate to alot of the symptoms that I always assumed were "just me", and I've taken friends' dex numerous times to help with studies because it allows me to concentrate at such an improved level.. Seeing a doc tomorrow for a referral to a (known excellent add pro-dex) psychiatrist, not sure whether to mention my past experience with dex when I see them.. Kinda don't see why not as I think it corroborates the diagnosis..

SomeGuy4040
02-01-11, 12:34 PM
Good story. :) Glad it all worked out. Yes, that many visits/that much money appears to be pretty normal in some circumstances. Mine was about the same. Although it wasn't subsidized through the university. It was $25 co-pay, but it was supposed to be like $100-$150 per visit. Thank god for insurance.

Jester
02-01-11, 03:10 PM
Hello and thank you for your post. You must keep in mind that this is an ADD forum and that ADD people browse it, which may have difficulty reading a 2000 words text. By writing a post longer than 500 words, you greatly lower your chance to get useful help because most of us cannot read, have difficulty reading, don't want to read or simply don't have the patience to read such a long text due to the nature of our disability.

There is nothing wrong with your post but make sure you keep in mind to limit your question to less than 500 words, so that all of us are able to help you. What you can also do is you can write a 100 words summary in red, so that people who cannot read your essay can have an idea about your inquiry and help you, rather then exiting the topic instantly upon examination of your post content.

APSJ
02-01-11, 08:34 PM
abk1337,

I'm so glad you were able to get diagnosed! I can relate to a lot of what you describe, particularly the parts about trying to read dull material and follow conversations, with and without medication.

Hello and thank you for your post. You must keep in mind that this is an ADD forum and that ADD people browse it, which may have difficulty reading a 2000 words text. By writing a post longer than 500 words, you greatly lower your chance to get useful help because most of us cannot read, have difficulty reading, don't want to read or simply don't have the patience to read such a long text due to the nature of our disability.

It's true that longer posts have the potential to dissuade some from reading a thread (I've certainly skipped over threads with lengthy opening posts at times) and it's worth keeping this in mind when posting.

However, given that this forum consists almost entirely of writing, I'm pretty sure everyone participating can read and write, or has adaptations in place to allow them to comprehend written posts. Some probably have more trouble with reading than others, but it hasn't been my experience that most here have difficulty with reading. ADHD, in and of itself, does not interfere with reading ability.

I think a greater problem than long posts are posts without paragraph breaks, which I know many struggle with, and we do ask people to avoid writing in this manner.

I've gotten lots of great responses to threads where the opener was *really* long, and while I do try to keep things short, sometimes you just can't cut something down without omitting crucial details, and when that happens, I wouldn't let it stop you from posting.

What you can also do is you can write a 100 words summary in red, so that people who cannot read your essay can have an idea about your inquiry and help you, rather then exiting the topic instantly upon examination of your post content.

Good advice :)

vgirl17
02-01-11, 08:58 PM
Good for you!!! I'm still waiting to get an appointment with a psychatrist so I know how you must have felt. It's excrutiating to have to wait once you've already self-diagnosed....I know I'm not a Dr. but I feel like I've found myself in all I've read about ADHD... just waiting for them to hurry up and confirm it so I can start living a normal productive life! Congrats!