...and I am ashamed of it. :(

But I cannot use my ADD as a crutch. I must take responsibility for my actions.

Slow and forceful clap, man. I'm out of my depth here but it seems like the shame and secrecy of an action increases the "reward" tokens in the ol' reward center of the brain. So I bet acknowledging and talking about it helps.

...and I am ashamed of it. :(

But I cannot use my ADD as a crutch. I must take responsibility for my actions.

What does using ADD as a crutch mean? Impulsiveness is one of the central symptoms. Admitting that ADD makes you more impulsive is not using it as a "crutch." It does not mean you cannot take responsibility for it. If anything, I think it enhances your ability to do so because you know what the cause is.

Also, crutches are good things. People who have trouble moving around can use these to move around more easily. But they're also awkward and difficult to maneuver, and don't leave your hands entirely free. They're sometimes necessary, but not bad.

I don't understand the value of admitting to the problems disability can cause while leaving disability out of the conversation. Could you elaborate on what you mean by this?

Can you elaborate a little more?

I did too until I decided to go out less.

I did too until I decided to go out less.

I almost never go out and almost never have money, but when I do, the internet lets me shop. :( I've spent upwards of $200 at once before catching myself, when I did have money.

In the 90s, oh, I don't even want to talk about the 90s.

Sometimes it almost feels like a battle between good and evil within me. I can just feel half my brain screaming to get that new laptop or to go out and replace my slowly decaying car but then the other half kicks in and delays my actions.

Come to think of it, I may accidentally have stumbled on the ideal balance between impulsiveness and procrastination..

I think I am confused as Fortune is about your comment about using ADHD as a crutch for impulsive spending?

You're right though, regardless of the reason for impulsive spending, responsibility is firmly set on your shoulders unfortunately, the consequences may be felt by more than just you. Using that argument on my laissez-faire boyfriend has helped coerce him into caring and helping manage my impulsive spending.

It helps on days when I wake up hell-bent on buying "x" item to talk it out with him. Those days are the most dangerous because when I get into the store (or online), if I don't have a clear directive I often end up talking myself out of buying the original "x" item while still spending way, way, way too much (if not more!) on other superfluous although perhaps related things. Which... I then hide for a few days... and bring out after I sorrowfully confess my guilt.

Either or, I feel you on impulsive spending with my lowish credit rating, maxed out credit cards, empty savings account, foregone opportunities, sense of shame, selfishness and guilt.

I have to admit. I am too. But the problem with me is helped by the fact that it's only cheap stuff and bargains for me. Like today I bought more cleaning products, but bought the brand name stuff on offer. Bargains grab me too much, I can't resist!

Though I did resist a certain delicious ice cream. Half Cookie Dough, half Fudge Brownie, Half PRICE :D

Thank you concerta for making me less gluttonous!

i am an impulsive spender too, and just aabout destroyed our savings with my spending! what helped me a lot was googlin impulsive behavior disorders, esp cog behavioral psych, and finding out that the same brain chemicals are involved in impulsive spending, as with any other addiction. i already attend a 12-step group, and that helps.

I have to admit. I am too. But the problem with me is helped by the fact that it's only cheap stuff and bargains for me. Like today I bought more cleaning products, but bought the brand name stuff on offer. Bargains grab me too much, I can't resist!

Though I did resist a certain delicious ice cream. Half Cookie Dough, half Fudge Brownie, Half PRICE :D

Thank you concerta for making me less gluttonous!


That's what i do sometimes. I go to a thrift store can buy a few things with a not too much money.

I would like to get to the point that i actually check to see how much money i have before i spend it. That would help.

This - well, hopefully i will have enough money in the bank to cover this - thinking is really not working for me.

I have serious problems with impulse control when it comes to certain things (eating and spending on clothes and jewelry). I am also incredibly lucky to have been brought up by a very stingy/thrifty (I say this with absolute love, she never stinged on the things that counted for me and my sister, only on herself) grandmother and to be naturally slim. :(

Good luck to you, man. Or woman. I agree that one should take responsibility for one's actions. However, you should also recognize that your ADD creates a problem of impulsivity and respond by acknowledging what you've done, NOT BLAMING YOURSELF, and trying hard to correct the unwanted behavior and finding alternate solutions. What you've spent (if it can't be returned) is a sunk cost. Blaming yourself is pointless. Acknowledge what happened and move on, but try to correct the issues. I've found that blocking shopping sites works really, really well for me, as does checking my bank balance regularly. Sites like gilt and hautelook--sales sites--are terrible, because they sell out so fast that they create the perverse desire to GET IT BEFORE IT SELLS OUT!!!!!!!, so if any of those are on your email update list, REMOVE THEM, don't let them send you emails, and block them if you can. If it's incremental spending on computer games, I'm not so sure what to do there, since I don't do that--maybe remove your credit card frm its saved location in the website and make sure your wallet is NOT within reach when you play? I've found that making little changes and using your own laziness/lack of focus against you in spending can really help. :) Often, if I have to go hunt for my wallet to buy something, I just won't do it, so saved credit card numbers are the devil. Good luck.

...it seems like the shame and secrecy of an action increases the "reward" tokens in the ol' reward center of the brain. So I bet acknowledging and talking about it helps.

Hmm. I don't know. There is a little bit of a 'thrill' to maneuvering around my wife, but most of the time that thrill is destroyed when she finds out I've blown more money on crap. The guilt and shame of letting her down feels worse than the thrill of buying something under her nose.

It's worse when she doesn't get mad at me. Then I feel like a real jerk.

What does using ADD as a crutch mean? Could you elaborate on what you mean by this?

It means that I acknowledge that I cannot just write off my problem now that I have something to blame it on. I cannot take the easy out. Disability or not, I have to be responsible for myself to the greatest degree that I can.

Can you elaborate a little more?

I have interests. When I see something that falls into that interest, I have a strong, often uncontrollable urge to buy it.

Example: Books. I used to have a large collection of books. One day, I realized that about 75% of my collection was wasted money. I had books I'd never read, as well as books I'd read once and never touched ever again. But when I saw these things in the store, I just "had" to have them, and often found myself in an internal struggle not to buy them (sometimes I win this battle and sometimes I don't).

My wife says I move from collecting one thing to the next, and that these collections end up doing nothing but taking up space before I sell them off and move on to the next thing, and she is correct. The only exception is movies. I have always collected these, and I always enjoy using them.

But I even have problems with that. On Black Friday, I spent over $200 on BluRays online because of the INSANE sales (I picked up the BD of 'The Mummy' for $5), pulling about 15 more films into my collection. I just got the last two flicks two days ago. You would think all those new titles would leave me satisfied, but it does not. I want to spend, spend, spend again! :o:(

I almost never go out and almost never have money, but when I do, the internet lets me shop. :(

Yup. I'll spend on the 'net just as fast as in the store. Sometimes faster, since the internet often has better deals.

Sometimes it almost feels like a battle between good and evil within me.

Exactly. The little devil and angel on your shoulders. I feel the exact same way.

It helps on days when I wake up hell-bent on buying "x" item to talk it out with him. Those days are the most dangerous because when I get into the store (or online), if I don't have a clear directive I often end up talking myself out of buying the original "x" item while still spending way, way, way too much (if not more!) on other superfluous although perhaps related things. Which... I then hide for a few days... and bring out after I sorrowfully confess my guilt.

Sounds familiar. :):o

Fortunately, my wife is a miser when it comes to money, and our credit and accounts are all in good shape. I have started talking some of these things out with her since my diagnosis, and there have been a few occasions where this worked and I was able to rationalize myself out of buying some other worthless item I don't need.

But this does not make my ADD go away. I still have strong urges to buy.

I've found that blocking shopping sites works really, really well for me, as does checking my bank balance regularly. Sites like gilt and hautelook--sales sites--are terrible, because they sell out so fast that they create the perverse desire to GET IT BEFORE IT SELLS OUT!!!!!!!, so if any of those are on your email update list, REMOVE THEM, don't let them send you emails, and block them if you can.

I think I might do that. I can price track through BluRay.com, setting the dollar amounts I am willing to spend on specific titles. When Amazon hits that price, say $12 for Drag Me to Hell (lol - a somewhat appropriate title for this discussion), I'll receive an email alert. I think I might disable the alerts and avoid the site more often.

If it's incremental spending on computer games, I'm not so sure what to do there...I have found a couple of solutions thanks to my wife. One, I rent videogames now through Gamefly. I find that 95% of the games I rent I lose interest in after about a week, so I use GF as a testing platform for which games to buy. When I've been playing a rental for almost a month, my wife and I will agree that it's probably one I might like to own. This has saved us a ton of cash.

I do the same with books. I check out a lot of them now at the library.

Same with BluRays. I screen movies I want to own on the format by renting them through Netflix. If a movie didn't get a good BluRay treatment, I make a note to avoid the current release and wait on a remaster. A good example are the Star Trek films. I am not impressed with any of them on the format yet (except the awesome 2009 reboot), and have decided to wait until they get reissued.

These things do help, but they do not solve the problem.

*sighs*

I think I might disable the alerts and avoid the site more often.

TRUST ME this will absolutely help. I stopped buying completely when I removed Gilt alerts and have now started again thanks to a stupid decision to put them back now that I'm making more money. IDIOT! Delete the site from your history so it doesn't autocomplete in the address bar.

I, like you, have great credit, no debt, blah blah, but that's because I've managed to curb myself with small behavioral psych techniques (making things harder for yourself) and my life goal is to make enough money to support my aging parents, so... I'd be doubly sad if I couldn't do that. You can TOTALLY do this. Just make it really hard for yourself to visit those sites. Make it so they won't pop up and REMIND you and tempt you (but this is such a great deal!! etc). Shopping gives me a huge feeling of reward, it makes me happy, but for such a short time. It's not worth it.

Man can I relate to the book thing. I've given tubs of books away to Goodwill. I've bought the same book three times on multiple occasions and sure have beaten myself up about it. I just wanted to know it all and shortcut the experience of actually doing it by reading about it. Some people can be all hardcore and quit cold turkey but I can't. It just gets better with time. A couple of strategies that have helped me:

1. the interwebs are full of free and partially free books. Amazon and Google books' excerpts are often enough to satisfy the compulsion. After all, I never actually read most of the books I bought all the way through to begin with. I had real life bookmarks all over the place. A couple of hours of reading sections of said book and books like said book is often good enough.

2. Set a $ limit. Like a health bar in a game. You can spend $25 this month on books. Amazon has plenty of used stuff for a dollar or less. Buy it, thumb through it, then give it away. Yeah you're still wasting productive-adult-time-goddammit but baby steps. Stop the money hemorrhaging first.

3. Talk about books and the shame of compulsive book buying. On forums, with friends. Sometimes after talking about it for an hour I'm ready to move on and I haven't bought a thing. See sometimes with me it gets to be this big thing you know? Like I *shouldn't* do it and I can't tell anyone because then they'll *know* and judge me. But if you're upfront about it then sometimes it just becomes another thing like any other thing and then... it's not as dangerously exciting anymore.

4. Do some of the stuff in the books. Nature book? Go to the park. $0-$10 dollars and there's tons of cool animal stuff happening all the time.

On money management in general: automate it. It is never going to get exciting. You can only force yourself to do it for so long. Harness the good side of the tubes and you'll have to deal with it far less often.

Personal Finance is not about Will Power (http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/personal-finance-is-not-about-more-willpower/)

Everyone. I was like that when i used to take Vyvanse, spend spend spend.
I spent almost $5000 from saving and $30000 on a car. switching from vyvanse was like what the hell did i do that for.
Vyvanse makes you happy to not caring about reality very very hard to control yourself.

Meds don't effect me much on this issue, one way or the other, which leads me to believe both this and my impulsive eating go beyond my ADD.

I disabled BluRay.com's email alerts.

Man can I relate to the book thing. I've given tubs of books away to Goodwill. I've bought the same book three times on multiple occasions and sure have beaten myself up about it. I just wanted to know it all and shortcut the experience of actually doing it by reading about it. Some people can be all hardcore and quit cold turkey but I can't. It just gets better with time. A couple of strategies that have helped me:


Those are great stategies, my wife has the same problem. What she did was got a library card for the locatl library and took books out there. The ones she really wanted they had a que on line for, so she'd add her name and when it came in it would be ear marked for her to pick up. Also helps the library is in the same parking lot as her job so she could go pick them up as needed.

BTW: Love the name and avatar.

I am one of the less spenders I guess as I tend not to buy much of anything. Maybe a t-shirt here or there, but I grew up with parents that used appliances until they died or wore clothes until they weren't fit to be worn anymore. So I got a lot of my frugalness from them.

It means that I acknowledge that I cannot just write off my problem now that I have something to blame it on. I cannot take the easy out. Disability or not, I have to be responsible for myself to the greatest degree that I can.

I do not understand how one gets to "just write my problem off now" and "something to blame it on" and "I can't take the easy way out." It makes me wonder about this perception of disability as a source of excuses or a way to lose ground and stop trying? I don't mean you specifically, I mean people say this all the time...and I even made a thread about it, so I probably shouldn't drag it in here like this.

I'm not trying to pick on you and I am sorry if it feels that way. I am immensely grateful to know why I spend impulsively, and this doesn't make me feel any less responsible. It does help me deal with the guilt from doing those things because now I know my capacity for self-control is not the same as it is for most people. But this doesn't mean I don't feel responsible, and my first thought was certainly not "I finally have an excuse!" because an excuse wouldn't fix the problems I caused myself. My first thought was "I finally understand why I acted against my own self-interest."

Meds don't effect me much on this issue, one way or the other, which leads me to believe both this and my impulsive eating go beyond my ADD.

I disabled BluRay.com's email alerts.


I am laughing at the italics. Been there...

The first part, maybe. I've heard others talk about how medication doesn't address everything for them. Like it's a starting point. It could be there's other reasons (and other conditions that can cause impulsiveness), but it could just be the medication doesn't help.

I do not understand how one gets to "just write my problem off now" and "something to blame it on" and "I can't take the easy way out." It makes me wonder about this perception of disability as a source of excuses or a way to lose ground and stop trying?

I don't think we're on the same page then. We seem to be on two different tracks of perception.

I don't see my ADD as the excuse I have always been looking for, but it is easy at times to just giggle at my failures and say, "Oh well, that's my ADD for yah." It's dismissive of the problem to do that--to just write off an episode that's linked to my disability.

Regardless of how out of control I get at times, I still have a responsibility to own up to what the effects are of the choices I make, even though those choices are often out of my control.

Not comparing myself to Hitler, but there are many who believe he may have been a manic-depressive. If true, and if he had been captured to be put on trial, should we all have forgiven him for his disability?

No, I don't think so. In the end, we all should be accountable for ourselves, even if what we do is against our own self interests. That's just my opinion on the subject. I know my spending isn't all my fault, but blaming it on the devil and continuing to do it without any concern because I have a disability is wrong.

Was it clear to you that I said ADHD was necessary for me to understand why I acted against my own self-interest, but that I still consider myself responsible for spending the money? That I was not in fact arguing that disability is a reason to not care, but rather asking why there's a fear (I guess) that disability will make you feel like you are not responsible for everything you've done?

I used to fall back on excuses when I was younger as a defense for things I did not understand and could not explain to others (my ADD). It's a weak path to tread if you understand your problems, and now I do (to a degree anyway). I have to keep accountability at the forefront at all times in all things so that I do not retreat into that mindset again. I have to face who I am, not run away from it.

So yes, I have a fear of using my ADD as a convenient excuse.

BouCoup, I feel much the same way. I have ADHD. It may be a reason that I do some things, but it never EXCUSES that I do them. If the thing is something I need to be in better control of- like spending- it is my responsibility to have that self awareness and find workable ways to manage.

For many years, I did everything in cash only, no exceptions. That alone forced me into different patterns where spending was concerned. I have a debit card now for the first time in years. I'm considering not carrying it and going back to my cash only approach because I don't ever want to be the impulsive spender I have been in my life again.

I used to go shopping all the time & I spent so much money trying to feel better.I used to get a high from shopping until 2yrs.ago.At that time I would go to every bookstore I could find & also shop for whatever my obsession was at the time.I now only shop with my husband & only pay cash.I don't shop anything like I used to as I am agoraphobic now.
buddy

On the plus side, a $50 item I bought last night (and the reason this thread got started to begin with) was returned today. :cool:

On the plus side, a $50 item I bought last night (and the reason this thread got started to begin with) was returned today. :cool:

Most excellent. Does it help to have goals? I know that seems a most obvious question, but maybe you could make it a challenge for yourself.

Sometimes you can even play against your impulsiveness by going the opposite direction: spend nothing unless absolutely necessary.

Sometimes goals help, but just like everything in my life it's inconsistent. That's one of the biggest frustrations I have with ADD: the inconsistency I have in all things.

I can hit the weights for a week and start feeling good, but then lose interest and go back to where I was before.

I can have a great day of study in a class, and then turn around the next day by blowing the whole thing off.

I can control my spending for a month, then have a horrible week of uncontrolled binging.

:rolleyes:

I am too. I go thru really good streaks, but right now I'm in kind of a bad streak. So true about Hautelook, Rue La La, Gilt... I think I get at least 10 of those emails a day. I usually justify it by saying I got a really good deal. I bought an Ipod because it was on sale. I already have two. I bought two pair of William Rast Jeans, two sizes too small, but they were a real good deal. I have two pairs of designer sunglasses on a shelf in my closet that have never seen sunlight, but they were a good deal. Sigh.

Meds don't effect me much on this issue, one way or the other, which leads me to believe both this and my impulsive eating go beyond my ADD.
I think you've gotten some really good advice here, BouCoupDinkyDau, and I'm glad you made this point. I was going to bring up the med issue, because the meds have really helped me in this area.. so I think mine was a chemical thing for sure.

Wow. I'm glad to find this thread. I've found a lot to relate to here...have 'thanked' a couple people for their posts...will go back through and thank some more most likely. Sorry in advance for the long post.

Sites like gilt and hautelook--sales sites--are terrible, because they sell out so fast that they create the perverse desire to GET IT BEFORE IT SELLS OUT!!!!!!!, so if any of those are on your email update list, REMOVE THEM, don't let them send you emails, and block them if you can.

This is great advice, IMO. I have another suggestion: If you're not on a super-tight budget, and are looking to get bargains from time to time (just not all the time), set up a separate free email account (mine is Yahoo) that the stores can send mail to. (You have to provide an email address for nearly every purchase nowadays and the vendors will for sure add you to their distribution lists. I always use my Yahoo.) That way, you can check that email address *only* when you are looking to shop, and you're not getting shopping emails all day long to your work or main email address. I have mine set to delete messages after a couple of weeks, so I don't even have to check it at all if I don't want to.

The most important issue for me, though, is that I absolutely, must, no questions about it, track absolutely every cent I spend. I have pretty good accounting software (IBank for the Mac) with a mobile program from my IPhone. (Sometimes, obviously, it's hard to stop what you're doing and that instant write down your spend. I have an envelope I always, always have with me that I put my receipts into, and then enter them as soon as I can.)

I check my software just about every night. I can also view my account balances from IPhone. I usually work my budget from week to week - it's just easier than month to month, so if I'm over budget for one week I don't have to wait so long until some disposable cash frees up again.

I think the spending track helps me for two reasons. One, so I don't wind up in debt, but two, because I have nearly no short term memory. I really can't remember if I spent, say, $100 on shoes last week...many times I forget I even have something until I stumble across it in a closet later. (In a way this is really fun! I feel like I always have new stuff, since I forget what I have so often :) ) That said, I actually recently downloaded some database software for my IPhone and am taking pictures of some of my pairs of shoes, handbags and such, so I won't re-buy the same items...at one point I had like ten black turtlenecks...! For Mac users, I'd also recommend Delicious Library for those of us who are movie and CD junkies. It comes with a bar code zapper - like at the store, or you can use your ISight camera. It's super easy to input titles. The program will catalog your stuff for insurance purposes and you can also export it to your IPhone so you won't buy the same items again and again.

On the plus side, a $50 item I bought last night (and the reason this thread got started to begin with) was returned today.


This is another thing I do: Really try to feel no shame about returning something. Hey, I once returned five purchases from five separate stores I had made on a day I was upset about something and turned to retail therapy.

I actually also really try to buy only from stores with generous return policies. (Apple.com and the Apple Store offer only 15 days, so I buy my Apple gear from Best Buy - which offers 45 days for members of its Premier program.)

This is actually the one downside of Ebay, where I also try to buy things used sometimes - it's a little harder to return items...

Sometimes goals help, but just like everything in my life it's inconsistent. That's one of the biggest frustrations I have with ADD: the inconsistency I have in all things.

Yeah, me too. If I could change one thing about myself it might be that.

However, I have some advice, hope it helps: You just cannot beat up on yourself over this. I've wasted a lot of time in my life being angry with myself for my "lack of discipline" or whatever. Thankfully, I finally got to a point where I realized I Literally. Cannot. Help. It. Would I be angry with a person in a wheelchair for not being able to walk? You know what I mean.

Sometimes you can even play against your impulsiveness by going the opposite direction: spend nothing unless absolutely necessary.

This works for me, too, oddly. I can get really good about only shopping at Goodwill, the secondhand book store near me, etc. I just have to be careful - even one or two luxury spends will have me back on Zappos.com or whatever buying stuff I don't need.

I'm getting ready to have to crack down in earnest since I ran up five figures in credit card debt last year - I stupidly applied for a 0% interest credit card...plus I was starting a business, so it was easy to justify purchases for that...Thankfully I'm probably going to get a big tax refund this year. Oddly I'm also *really* good about not spending if I make up my mind I can't...just seems like it's feast or famine for me. (One-track thinking, anybody? ;) )

(My other issue is also overeating. I find I can only stick to a diet if I write down everything I eat...I don't do so well staying on top of that one, though, mostly because it seems so hard to estimate what calories are in things. I'm thinking about joining Weight Watchers. I've only got about 30 lbs to lose, but it's frustrating to never seem to be able to take anything off...)

I am too! Big time!!! I have to make a list, take a friend with me if possible and tell them not to let me get anything that's not on the list.

If Im clothes shopping I get all that I want to buy before checking out, go through them and say to myself "do I need this, would I wear this, how would I feel if I bought this". that sometimes seems to help me.

Online shopping is where it kills me, I have my credit cards with a friend I trust, I on purpose don't keep alot of $on my debit card so I don't do late night shopping I will regret. Now EBAY is my weakeness.

...and I am ashamed of it. :(

But I cannot use my ADD as a crutch. I must take responsibility for my actions.

:(I feel your pain. I am so bad at this. Then I feel so guilty I can't even enjoy my purchase. Makes me so ashamed of myself.

if i want something, i go buy it guilt free, or i wont stop thinking about it

i am truly lucky in the items i am obsessed with, are the same items that pay my bills

I have this issue as well. I'm often flat broke two days after payday. I really am trying to get a handle on this and get out of debt this year, although this past pay day left something to be desired, although I will say I only bought things/put money towards what I actually did need. Rent, cleaning supplies (up to this point it's been paper towel and water. I got a swiffer mop for free so I got some of the dry cloths and the wet cloths. The wet ones I got two packs of from the dollar store) as well as groceries, a new windshield wiper blade and washer fluid. I did spend $20 at the bar, though, which I shouldn't have done.

Thank you all for your honesty, I've struggled and still do struggle with impulsive spending. The key for me is to try to stay busy. But, my gosh, how easy it is for me to want to spend!!!!:(

I try to limit my spending to one item per shop.
Sometimes just buying something cheap is enough to stop me from buying something more extravagant and expensive.

What I do is wait at least 2 days after I wanted to buy something...
Want an xbox? wait two days.
Want a new snowboard? wait two days

That along with keeping a debit card with a small limit on it seems to help for me, but I also have about 200$ In my bank so my opinion is somewhat invalid. :p

Anyone of you impulsive gamblers? I am, and its about to destroy my life!

I think I've posted something on this topic, but I feel the need to say more. I've struggled with spending my money for quite some time. The worst moments for me are when I'm either bored or are having major personal issues like when I was getting a divorce. I know I need to develop a budget and stick to it.

I spent a lot of money on my credit card and received a mommy bail out (I'm not terribly proud of this). I go out to eat way too much, but I've curbed that a bit as I've learned to cook.

I spend money and am really unsure where it needs to stop (budget?). I think it stops with a budget and sticking to it. Does anyone have any successful tips that they can offer from their personal experience? Please send me either a pm or a visitor message as I don't want to hijike this bad boy.

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> So many of the posts rings so true for me. I am definitely an impulsive spender. I won't say how much debt we have, but will say it's ridiculous. I do all of the budgeting and bill paying for our family. I tend to be very passive, and quite the pushover when my husband wants something, and have rarely said no to any of his purchases, which are usually expensive, such as his fishing boat or the time we bought 2 cars… 2 was cheaper than the original 1 we looked at, so of course I rationalized that one.

Usually I just find a way to make them work. I go totally overboard on budgeting, which I don't know why I do because we never stick to it. I always have to adjust for this or that, which just frustrates me even more.

I used to be so bad about my impulsive spending that I had hidden credit cards from my husband. Since I paid the bills, I would sneak the payments in, and hide what I was spending from him. It wasn't pretty when I was found out, and it's something I'm definitely not proud of. I was raised by a mom who worked herself silly, and still does, and one would think that her money skills would have rubbed off on me, but they didn't.

These days I tend now to be more impulsive towards buying things for my kids. I do pretty well on not spending on me other than books and ebooks. Yikes there. I adore my Sony Reader, but it sure makes it easy to sneak books in now ;) I hate buying clothes for me, but that has more to do with my body image issues and weight issues I think. Right now I am working on talking myself out of buying a workout program. I have tons of others, some cheap, some ridiculously expensive. I buy them, use them for a week, and give up or get bored, which is why I am trying to talk myself out of this new one, but I really want it :D, and it is on sale for half price…

I disabled BluRay.com's email alerts.


This is actually working for me. My wild movie spending has been curbed quite a bit so far (cut in half I'd say). :cool:

I almost bought a medium format camera and 20 rolls of film yesterday, but I hesitated. I hesitated! I just kept thinking 'would I ever get around to using it, 'could I even use it?' or 'it's going to take a lot of time to get better at using it.' So I hesitated and someone else bought it.