I am plagued by you inserting words, phrases, images, ideas, thoughts, conversations between imaginary people in both plausible and implausible nonetheless ficticious scenarios.

Everytime I catch you, I try and turn you off. I relax all my muscles, I try to feel the relaxing weightlessness of drifting off to sleep.

It is way early in the morning, you went to bed hours ago... Frick you have been quite lax with the meds lately...you've got over a week extra... You only did a morning dose...

I started to wonder if it was around 130am, so I checked the phone. It was 1:20. Pretty good estimate, i thought, why can't I always estimate passage of time accurately? Granted it's taken many nights of sleeplessness to do it, the sounds change and time is a feeling like a thunderstorm approaching.

So for another hour, the brain harassed me even more...

IPDE kept popping in and out in and out
KISS approach poping in and out in and out

So rack my brain to remember what IPDE meant. Oh I remembered...

Identify, predict, decide, execute (well eff u brain, I don't like your mockery!)

Keep it simple, stupid (oh, common! Really? You're just mean...)

The only simpler I can get is to chug some Nyquil.

Next time though brain, mark my words, if I remember to I will take a pill to manage you!

You tell that brain!

Brain better let me sleep tonight. No thinking of future situations that may or may not happen. You hear me, brain?

I win a battle of wills. I stay up until I'm exhausted, and then my brain can't fight back.

It's taken me years of effort to master this technique.

Works wonders if people are okay with you sometimes sleeping until four in the afternoon. :(

I gave up on willpower ages ago. Still working on finding the right pill.

I explain to people that it's like trying to fall asleep with someone sitting on the bed next to you trying to engage you in conversation. If you somehow manage to shut out the chatterbox, she reaches over and gives you a little shove to get your attention back.

It's not like being kept up by worry or anything important, either. "Ooh, you know what we could do with that scrap wood in the garage? We could make it into shelves, and then we'd be cleaning up the wood and getting the garage organized at the same time! And we could take the leftover scraps from that and make adorable little gift boxes - we could cover them with that fabric that might still be in one of the four big boxes in the sewing room. Do you think we should go look for it now, just to make sure we have it before we start making the shelves and organizing the garage and making the little gift boxes? Do ya?"

I preferred pills, but I simply can't sleep before I sleep, so I live with it.

Battle of wills is just hyperbole.

I'm not saying its the right thing to do, but I've been using Nyquil a couple times a week to shut down my brain. I started out with taking it to deal with some leftover cold symptoms, now I just like the little push into dreamland.

Benadryl can help you sleep, but it can have a terrible hangover. :(

Benadryl can help you sleep, but it can have a terrible hangover. :(

Yea I used to take it all the time but once I would fall asleep for the night it took all the next day to wake up. Thats almost worse than not getting a good nights sleep.

I gave up on willpower ages ago. Still working on finding the right pill.

I explain to people that it's like trying to fall asleep with someone sitting on the bed next to you trying to engage you in conversation. If you somehow manage to shut out the chatterbox, she reaches over and gives you a little shove to get your attention back.

It's not like being kept up by worry or anything important, either. "Ooh, you know what we could do with that scrap wood in the garage? We could make it into shelves, and then we'd be cleaning up the wood and getting the garage organized at the same time! And we could take the leftover scraps from that and make adorable little gift boxes - we could cover them with that fabric that might still be in one of the four big boxes in the sewing room. Do you think we should go look for it now, just to make sure we have it before we start making the shelves and organizing the garage and making the little gift boxes? Do ya?"

That's exactly what it's like!
I'm very lucky, I've found strattera shuts up the evening chatterbox for me.

I have a friend who is bi-polar and OCD and that's pretty much how she describes her thoughts. My thoughts do tend to race and they are associative like yours but for some reason that description doesn't resonate with me. When I read stuff like that and it feels like it doesn't fit then I always wonder..."well if that's what ADHD really feels like, then maybe I don't have it."

I gave up on willpower ages ago. Still working on finding the right pill.

I explain to people that it's like trying to fall asleep with someone sitting on the bed next to you trying to engage you in conversation. If you somehow manage to shut out the chatterbox, she reaches over and gives you a little shove to get your attention back.

It's not like being kept up by worry or anything important, either. "Ooh, you know what we could do with that scrap wood in the garage? We could make it into shelves, and then we'd be cleaning up the wood and getting the garage organized at the same time! And we could take the leftover scraps from that and make adorable little gift boxes - we could cover them with that fabric that might still be in one of the four big boxes in the sewing room. Do you think we should go look for it now, just to make sure we have it before we start making the shelves and organizing the garage and making the little gift boxes? Do ya?"

For about three days on wellbutrin my thoughts were one at a time, scared the crap out of me, and I stopped taking it. (it also nullified my adhd meds)

It's not my brain that I get upset with it's my mouth, it sometimes just gives a running commentary of whatever is in there at the time.

I just now noticed I don't do this very much on meds! Amazing how I didn't notice that for well over a YEAR!!!

You tell that brain!

Brain better let me sleep tonight. No thinking of future situations that may or may not happen. You hear me, brain?


I certainly did tell it off! And after four and a half hours of battling, I got some sage advice from a friend. She gave a recommendation of using a three part breathing technique, starting with "13" and counting down to "0" and to visualize breathing through your feet. It wasn't easy, but it... it... wow, felt at least as good as tylenol PM!

How was your battle for sleep last night?

I gave up on willpower ages ago. Still working on finding the right pill.

I explain to people that it's like trying to fall asleep with someone sitting on the bed next to you trying to engage you in conversation. If you somehow manage to shut out the chatterbox, she reaches over and gives you a little shove to get your attention back.

It's not like being kept up by worry or anything important, either. "Ooh, you know what we could do with that scrap wood in the garage? We could make it into shelves, and then we'd be cleaning up the wood and getting the garage organized at the same time! And we could take the leftover scraps from that and make adorable little gift boxes - we could cover them with that fabric that might still be in one of the four big boxes in the sewing room. Do you think we should go look for it now, just to make sure we have it before we start making the shelves and organizing the garage and making the little gift boxes? Do ya?"

Yup, yup, yup... the five year old chatter box that wont shut the eff up... good way of putting it! I always feel extra conned when the chatter takes form of being productive...

I preferred pills, but I simply can't sleep before I sleep, so I live with it.

Battle of wills is just hyperbole.

Yeah... it is... hyperbole. There is only one of "me" and thousands of thoughts to think...

I used to just run and move and keep doing something and narcaleptically (sp??? whatever) pass out randomly. Unfortunately the "real world" won't operate on my preferred sleep schedule of randomness.

I'm not saying its the right thing to do, but I've been using Nyquil a couple times a week to shut down my brain. I started out with taking it to deal with some leftover cold symptoms, now I just like the little push into dreamland.

I grew up with non-mormons in Utah calling nyquil, "the mormon's alcohol." Essentially, I know and love that dark green syrup... it's very dangerous. LUckily it is so dehydrating that its not worth consistent use.

I have a friend who is bi-polar and OCD and that's pretty much how she describes her thoughts. My thoughts do tend to race and they are associative like yours but for some reason that description doesn't resonate with me. When I read stuff like that and it feels like it doesn't fit then I always wonder..."well if that's what ADHD really feels like, then maybe I don't have it."

If it helps any...

I've been diagnosed with OCD, too. Part of why I can't fall asleep at night is oft times I'm trying to remember something (sometimes important sometimes not, but always should be able to wait) in the process of remembering I'm taken on a wild ride of craziness... and probably spend only 10% of the time actually thinking about said thing to remember...

For about three days on wellbutrin my thoughts were one at a time, scared the crap out of me, and I stopped taking it. (it also nullified my adhd meds)

It's not my brain that I get upset with it's my mouth, it sometimes just gives a running commentary of whatever is in there at the time.

I just now noticed I don't do this very much on meds! Amazing how I didn't notice that for well over a YEAR!!!


God... the running commentary of whatever is in there at the time....

brilliant...

Friends are still getting used to this... and seem to always be surprised at where my mind often goes (likewise...)

*I am paying noooo mind to the boys as I am making note books and sewing signatures into folios and varnishing paper and other stuff... well a guy friend picks up drum sticks and practices hitting the drum set. When he lifts his right arm to hit the cymbol he says, "Man, I don't know how well I'm going to be able to do this! My right arm is killing me!" I then retort, "What? Has the girlfriend not been givin' you enough lovin?" Seriously inappropriate...*

How was your battle for sleep last night?

Brain put up a good fight but I won in the end.
Only to wake up and for a few hours thinking of silly things that were delaying me getting out of bed.
You win this round brain but the war isn't over! I am so going to abuse you with alcohol on Tuesday night!

my thoughts race constantly while I lay down at night.

it scares me sometimes, cause i think about as i get older (50+), will my thoughts no longer be the same speed as they are now? I kinda like how much thoughts are processed per second...and it then goes on to think about death, and how often my thoughts are processed then...(hint: 0) :P

Sometimes I try to think of very elaborate situations in my head as I lay trying to sleep. For the most part, I think of very detailed situations that I could have with my girlfriend (read: sex fantasies :P )....or even situations with other girls (SHHH!). Usually I can sleep in about an hour if I think about that. Usually because I'm so engrossed into getting the details and actions correct, I get exhausted and shut down :)

Yeah... it is... hyperbole. There is only one of "me" and thousands of thoughts to think...

I used to just run and move and keep doing something and narcaleptically (sp??? whatever) pass out randomly. Unfortunately the "real world" won't operate on my preferred sleep schedule of randomness.

One of the benefits of long-term unemployment* is that I can sleep during the morning/early afternoon. I used to use benadryl to sleep when I wanted to sleep but I do not love how I built up tolerance over time nor how I felt when I woke up the next day.

I meant that it was willpower is hyperbole, because if will were involved I would just sleep to my actual preferred schedule every day. I externalize my brain constantly.

* overall detriment

I meant that it was willpower is hyperbole, because if will were involved I would just sleep to my actual preferred schedule every day. I externalize my brain constantly.

Battle of wills is just hyperbole.

I think we're on the same page. Me vs. the chatter isn't a battle just any battle, it's a slaughter, a massacre... "I" win, it's a Pyrrhic victory. It's as if there really isn't a battle and there isn't much "choice"... the feeling of lack of control... Eff! or maybe I was coming at it as a battle is an understatement...

idk, i'm living off less than four hours sleep for the last few days coming off an even longer battle of irregular sleep.