12-21-10, 04:43 AM
Its like an awakening in my life right now. I just got diagnosed a month ago as having ADHD, im in my early 20's.
Just reflecting on my life, it all makes sense now. As far back as I could remember, Ive always done horrible in school, always been put in Special Ed classes, or lower level classes, flunked several courses and had to repeat it.
It was only after I met my girlfriend in college that I got back on track. I started to sit my *** down, try to focus as much as I could and studied along side with her, and managed above a 3.2 GPA now.
Im not on any medication yet, but soon will be. Thinking about my life in past, I ask my self, Why didn't a doctor evaluate me before? Why didn't my parents take my to the doctor? Do they really think this is a made up disorder?
What could have I done differently?
Could I have done better on the SAT's, Classes?
Could I have got into a better college?
Is it too late now?
My mind is racing with thoughts, questions, and I don't no if this diagnosis is a good thing.
Some, like myself, have had to wait until their forties or even later to get diagnosed. And its hardly surprising you were not picked up on earlier. Its easy for parents or teachers to miss the signs or to deliberately ignore them if theyhappen to be an unbeliever.
Your diagnosis is a good thing. Its not like it would not be there if you had not been dxed. It would still have given you the same problems, with the difference that you would have had no idea why life was giving you all the bad deals. In all likelihood you would have blamed yourself for all your troubles.
But now with a dx, you have alternatives. You have new options to explore.
12-21-10, 08:52 AM
Your story sounds very much like mine, except that I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 40s and my academic "turnaround" didn't happen until I was in my mid 20s.
12-22-10, 01:57 AM
i made a choice around 6 or 7th grade to not take any meds for anything, i got diagnosed in4th grade with add, was always supsected of possible anxiety or depression also. started meds last year at 18 and im still split on whether i waited too long or not. its a weird thing sometimes as I recall events or memories but now think of them in way different perspectives sometimes, and i already have always been really open minded. certain habits also now are hard to kick and others are starting to get easier and easier.
12-22-10, 05:08 AM
You can go crazy if you keep thinking about the 'what ifs'. I got pretty obsessional about it after I found out I had ADHD.
Thing is you don't know how different it could have been. Maybe not much would have changed.
I had low scores to and was put in special ED.
If I remember the type of kid I was I would probably still have done bad in school, because I just didn't want to do my work and I would flat out refuse to take medication.
I actually think I needed my life to be screwed up so I could be diagnosed and then try to change my life around, which is exactly what I did.
There are kids today that are diagnosed, medicated, on an IEP and still don't do much better. And what's worse is that they know they are different so they feel more isolated from their peers.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it can be both a horrible experience for the undiagnosed and the diagnosed too.
12-22-10, 06:01 AM
Finding out about ADHD pretty much ended my obsession with what ifs. It was one of the missing variables that explained why things turned out as they did, and - while it may seem fatalist - I am not sure I could have avoided disaster without an earlier diagnosis and treatment and I am not sure I could have avoided disaster with that earlier diagnosis and treatment.
I sometimes get caught up in the idea a bit much when someone acts like diagnosing children is forcing a label onto them that will limit them for life, as if being undiagnosed just makes everything easier, you know? It's hard to say, could go either way.
I'd say finding out actually gave me the answer I was looking for when I was dwelling constantly on the past. Now I can move forward.
12-22-10, 09:59 AM
I totally relate.
Im going through that now myself. How much better would my life have been had I been diagnosed in childhood? Would I be happier now, more successful? Could I have been further/better in providing for my childrens future? Would I have been able to take care of my Mom properly and have a more close knit family?
It's rough. But ya gotta keep plugging forward. It's fine and probably healthy to at least reflect on the past. In the end though we gotta let it go and focus on the better future we have in store for us now.