first things first this isnt meant to judge anybody else , i just struggle with accepting some personal things , and looking for others view to help clear it up

1. what are your actual adhd symptoms

i know some people only take meds to focus or study, or to fit in

me and others on here need them constantly , i always have constant physical and psychic agitation , always, is this adhd or something more

2. social phobia, is this a symptom or by product of adhd, meds can slow me down enough to have a conversation, but i still freeze up around unfamiliar people

3. self esteem , i am always worried of what people think of me , like appearance or achievements are all i have to offer

4. social cues - i thought i was good at this , but then again i never really thought about it or judged it against other people

5. negative thinking - i constantly ruminate about negative things, even suicidal ideas and things like that

6- no affect or distinguishable emotions, this started early teen years, and was not the case in my youth, so about 18 years now, but addhd was evident fron when i started school and reports and teachers remarks back this up, unfortunately i was a bit (mid 80s) before it was really paid much attention too

im just curios on what others think or if i should look further than adhd, i know others have similar things, while others just have issues with tasks and focus, im honestly tired of it or is it just me and i need to accept it

oh and im constantly irritated and full of rage, although i never that the rage come out

at least not on people (or animals or anything)

There are quite a few posts about this topic going around. Should take a look around, you might find a few that may really connect with you.

But yes, ADHD effects me the most in this way:

-Irritable
-obvious lack of focus/concentration
-loner by choice; interactions with others usually stems back to my irritability.
-I used to be anxious in social situations, and have some form of social phobia, but that is no longer the case. Even my issues with making telephone calls have subsided. I have a larger issue with maintaining relationships than creating them.
-time management issues
-memory problems. I often do things instinctively and don't recall doing them in the first place. For example:

Me: "Hey, have you put the keys away?"
Him: "I just watched you put them away, literally two seconds ago"
me: "Woops, dementia at age 26...I'm screwed."

The largest issues that effect me right now:

-inability to build motivation towards working at skills I'm interested in improving: IE instruments, writing, math

-holding onto old habits that I know no longer are necessary for me. IE: I still waste money buying videogames, computers systems, etc. even though I don't actually enjoy playing them, nor can I retain the ability to play for more than a few minutes without feeling irritable, and being distracted.

-the ability to be outgoing and spontaneous. I want to go snowboarding, out for drinks with friends, riding bikes through whatever...I just can't kick my old habits of being lethargic.

Any advice anyone has on my major problems, I'm all ears.

Dave, let me just address the social phobia....I just got back from the mall and noticed that as I scanned the food court that some fears of mine were creeping up. Is my fly zipped up? I wonder what they think about me.

As quick as I could, I reminded myself that it's none of my business what other people are talking about. I learned this trick from someone online. She's got a youtube video on fear of criticism. This seemed to help me out.

I think the issue has to do with focus. What are we focusing on? I know that if I am not focusing on something, that is what makes those thoughts come into my brain. Then, I have to find something to focus on. For me, it was reading something off the sign of the cookie business while I was waiting in line.

I hope this is helpful.

Social phobia is not an ADHD symptom, but can happen because of ADHD symptoms.

For me my most impairing symptoms are having little focus, lack of motivation, constant distractedness (I'm doing it now), either too little energy or too hyper, and the inability to control my emotions.

I'm pretty stressed a lot too but that could be from more sensory issues and not being able to communcate with people properly. Also because I'm also 25, unemployed and living with me mam.

1. what are your actual adhd symptoms
Lack of focus & concentration
Inability to absorb information
When I start a task I have to finish it then, because there is no chance I'll go back to it at a later date
Problems with prioritising and organising tasks
Mental hyperactivity
Disconnect between brain and mouth
Emotional reactivity, impatience, easily angered
I take meds all the time so I can function, get things done, cope, be calmer with my kids and more patient in general.

2. social phobia, is this a symptom or by product of adhd, meds can slow me down enough to have a conversation, but i still freeze up around unfamiliar people
I'd say both, or either, or neither. I think it can be a byproduct of adhd but probably more in a learnt way, rather than as a symptom. I have ASD as well as ADHD and SA so my experiences are probably not so relevent.

3. self esteem , i am always worried of what people think of me , like appearance or achievements are all i have to offer
This is such a crappy, constant, frustrating, limiting problem. I'm a positive person, I know my good points, I don't think I'm a bad person, but I always feel inferior and less important than others. As if I'm incredibly rude to waste their time even speaking to them. I think this is probably also learnt throughout development.

4. social cues - I suck at this big time, I also thought I was doing ok until my counsellor pointed out I was misattributing her thoughts based on her facial expressions.

5. negative thinking - I pull myself up on this. Any time I have a negative thought I reframe it into something to be grateful for. My lawn mower broke and I have to mow with a push mower, bugger of a job BUT I'm very grateful to have a backyard because plenty of people have lost their homes lately.

6- no affect or distinguishable emotions - I've always been like this too. For a long time I thought I didnt have emotions like other people. Just recently I learned that I do, but I never learnt the cognitive labels for the different emotions so I tend to call everything anxiety.

I think the stuff you've listed is typical ADHD stuff, people vary greatly in the type and intensity of their symptoms.
Some days it's incredibly frustrating, but I remind myself that it is what it is. It's my reaction to things that cause me problems, not the things themselves.

Sorry, had to copy most of last post since everything is same as many of us can relate to :-)

1. what are your actual adhd symptoms
Lack of focus & concentration
Inability to absorb information
When I start a task I have to finish it then, because there is no chance I'll go back to it at a later date (totally aware of this but never works since i get distracted along the way)
Major, severe problems with prioritising and organising tasks (total disaster)
Mental hyperactivity
Disconnect between brain and mouth
Emotional reactivity, impatience, easily angered (big lows and highs)
I take meds all the time so I can function, get things done, cope etc but meds are meds and NOT a cure. They increase the opposite qualities and thus only "cover up" the problematic symptoms that plague our lives. ADD is therefore always omnipresent. Nonetheless, since im on meds im way, way better than years ago.

2. social phobia, is this a symptom or by product of adhd, meds can slow me down enough to have a conversation, but i still freeze up around unfamiliar people
A remnant from years ago. Caused by the constant failures and tripping up caused by ADD. has an obvious negative effect on self-esteem.

3. self esteem , i am always worried of what people think of me , like appearance or achievements are all i have to offer
This is such a crappy, constant, frustrating, limiting problem. Ive learnt to be a positive person as I know my good points, I don't think I'm a bad person in the slightest, on the contrary.. but I always feel inferior and less important than others.

4. social cues - I suck at this big time, I also thought I was doing ok until my counsellor pointed out I was misattributing her thoughts based on her facial expressions. Ha! a classic example!!

5. negative thinking - A constant bummer and a classical mindset from the constant failures. A very difficult battle to fight. It has made me somewhat stronger over the years but the scars are the deepest i have. Im going through one of the few negative periods at the moment since im experiencing a phase where the meds are not having much effect.

6- no affect or distinguishable emotions - A common misconception from people around me. Im just an airhead most of the time so people mistake this for me being ignorant or cold. Im totally the opposite!!

Im 31 and unemployed at the moment, living at my parents and currently the meds aint really having much effect. Ive been on concerta 36mg (up and down) for 2-3 years and sometimes i experience such a phase. Although im so much better off than years ago, its extremely disheartening going from functional to a total disaster. A bit of a catch 22 situation.. meds are good when they work but when not, the psychological effect is detrimental at most times. The contrast fis harsh. Add this to being unemployed and the rest and it becomes torture..

First of all ADHD hardly ever travels by itself. For example I have ADHD and General Anxiety and I might have Asbergers.

Let me continue by answering your questions

1. what are your actual adhd symptoms According to the DSM IV there are Three Types of ADHD being Inattentive, hyperactivity-impulsivity and Combined. You must match at least six criteria in a type to be considered to have that kind of ADHD. Obviously if you have 6 in inattentive and 6 in hyperactivity-impulsivity you have combined type. One site that has information on the criteria for these is http://www.turnertoys.com/ADHD/APA_diagCriteria.htm and that is where I am pulling these from today but there are several other places where you can find them.

For Inattentive type the criteria are



Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities

This is me when it comes to housework.

As an example of this I made fish and chips yesterday and afterward someone had to point out to me that I had gotten grease all over the kitchen in the process. I would not have realized this on my own (but I was still offended because they then went on for 15 minutes about it).


Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities

I disguise this problem by having several activities in front of me at once. I tell them I'm multitasking but in reality I forgot about one of the activities for a moment.

As an example of this I am supposed to be working on a site for my alliance on Evony and I just now remembered about it.





Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly

What can I say my mind wanders. Maybe something someone else said made me think of something else or maybe something distracted me.

Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions)

Hmm, let me think. Is this me? YES! For example right now there are dirty dishes all around my computer. Three days ago I decided to clean them all up. Take a guess as to whether or not I've even started yet.

Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities

I've heard of this strange concept called 'organizing abilities'. Maybe someone else can explain them - because I know I sure don't have them.

Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork or homework)

This is a tricky one for me. As a child I avoided math because my teacher told me I was so stupid it wasn't even worth trying to teach me (I kid you not he actually said that to my face). It was not until college that a professor explained a few concepts to me in a different way and suddenly I was at the top of the class. People used to think that we ADHDers were mentally challenged because of this. We aren't we just look at the world in a different way. What normal people might see as complicated we find easy and what normal people might see as easy we find complicated.
On the other hand ever since I was a child mentally challenging activities have been my escape route from the world. By the time I was in 2nd grade I was reading and writing on a college level and by the time I was in 3rd I was tutoring other students. My spare time was spent absorbing as much as I could on as many subjects as I could and that habit still continues to this day - only now it's worse because now I have the web and can get access to material anytime I want. ;)

Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (eg, toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools)

Actually I think I inherited this one as my mom does it and so does my grandmother.

I once spent 10 minutes looking for the purse that was hanging over my arm...


Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli

You know there is a reason why it takes me several hours to write up a post like this.

Is often forgetful in daily activities

I'm supposed to do some stuff today, aren't I?


The Criteria for hyperactivity-impulsivity type are

Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat

As I type this I am moving my legs about because I really need to fidget right now. I also learned as a child that if you are making something the grown ups don't notice your fidgeting and so can't punish you for it ;)

Often leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected

Okay so obviously if a child leaves their seat at school they would get in trouble and if an adult leaves their seat at work they would get in trouble. Me? I learned to leave my seat in my mind and let it wander all over the place. In situations were I would not receive some sort of punishment however I get up and walk around until the fidgets are all out.

Often runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate (in adolescents or adults, may be limited to subjective feelings of restlessness)

Actually I still do this if I think I can get away with it. For example I often sit on the back of the couch rather than on the actually seat cushions.

Often has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly

This is not me - if anything it's difficult for others to get me to be noisy. However I do feel the need to run and tell someone else every time I learn something new.

Is often "on the go" or often acts as if "driven by a motor"

I wonder if doing umpteen million things at once counts for this. Or the fact that I pace when talking on the phone.

Often talks excessively

More than most people this is me

I was actually told I had bipolar mania disorder because of this. The key difference her is frequency of occurrence. With ADHD the person is always talkative, speaks very fast and has a hard time shutting up (guilty!) with bi-polar mania they aren't usually more talkative than other people but then suddenly they start talking more and faster than they usually do. (sorry please try again)


Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed

I've actually learned to not do this and I'm so proud of myself!

The trick is to make yourself repeat back to them what you think they said before coming up with your answer
Note this took me several years to teach myself and I still have problems with it.


Often has difficulty awaiting turn

I hate going shopping. Why is this? Could it possibly be that having to wait my turn in line annoys me?

Often interrupts or intrudes on others

Take a guess about what annoys other people about me most.


A good article about adult ADHD is http://www.aafp.org/afp/20001101/2077.html. In it the following quote can be found

Deficits in sustained attention and concentration are likely to remain and may become more apparent in late adolescence and early adulthood as responsibilities increase. Appointments, social commitments and deadlines are frequently forgotten. Impulsivity often takes the form of socially inappropriate behavior, such as blurting out thoughts that are rude or insulting. While many of the symptoms are reported by others in the patient's life, the problem often expressed by adults with ADHD is frustration over the inability to be organized.¹ Prioritizing is another common source of frustration. Important tasks are not completed while trivial distractions receive inordinate time and attention.

Wow! If I could figure out how to prioritize and organize - or maybe prioritize organizing - my life would be amazingly improved over what it is now.

I am constantly forgetting to do things like pay my bills, go to social events and even reply to emails.

I have actually lost friends over things I have said without thinking that I did not even realize I had vocalized.

There is something called the Utah Criteria for adult ADHD this states that an adult has ADHD if they have a child history consistent with ADHD (Me!), suffer from hyperactivity and poor concentration (ME!) and still display at least two of the following characteristics.



Affective lability

This is defined simply as unstable, rapidly changing emotions
Simply put this means that as ADHDers we are more sensitive to emotional stimuli than most.

My pdoc told me I was bipolar because my emotions change so much and so rapidly. Again this is a similarity between the two but there are still huge differences.

In an ADHD person the emotions are triggered by stimuli and are appropriate if overwrought emotional responses. They also fluctuate through out the day and usually don't last more than a few hours at a time.

This is totally me. What can I say I smile when something makes me happy, laugh at things I find funny and cry at things I find sad. Just because others can't see the trigger doesn't mean it's not there.

In a Bipolar person the emotions have no apparent trigger and are even more extreme than the ADHD response. They do not fluctuate as much as in ADHD. In fact in order to qualify as Hypomania or hypodepression the mood must last for at least 5 days without change of any kind and in order for it to qualify as full on mania or depression it has to last at least 6 months. Also they are much more extreme than ADHD.

Very much not me

Keep in mind that it is possible to have ADHD and Bipolar disorder at the same time



Hot temper

I don't like to think of it as a hot temper. I like to think of it as my 'I won't put up with crap' defense mode.
On the other hand my hot temper did get me fired from my job.


Inability to complete tasks and disorganization

I've given up on ever being organized and I have this fantasy about actually finishing one of the (many) stories I've been writing (for several years).


Stress intolerance

Yeah that's me
Led to the hot temper incident that got me fired


Impulsivity

Take a guess as to how I chose this thread to reply to today?


Hope that helps on that

continuing

2. social phobia, is this a symptom or by product of adhd, meds can slow me down enough to have a conversation, but i still freeze up around unfamiliar people

For this I personally think it is a bi-product of the ADHD or rather a bi-product of having been ostracized because we don't do thing the way that other people do. As mentioned before, we are very sensitive. Why should we.

Note that social phobia is not a fear of people. That would be Anthrophobia or Sociophobia which would mean we wouldn't be able to stand being around other people at all to the point that just socializing on a forum like this would terrify us.

Obviously an ADHD person doesn't freak out just because they have to go out in public or spend time in a crowd - unless of course they have a co-morbid conditions that does cause them to do this.

Rather Social Phobia means a fear of being judged negatively (and I might add unfairly) in social situations. It does not help that the ADHD person (child or adult) makes the perfect victim for a bully (yes there are adult bullies) to victimize because of our over sensitivity to emotional stimuli.

self esteem , i am always worried of what people think of me , like appearance or achievements are all i have to offer

This goes hand in hand with the social phobia. We worry about what others think of us because sometime in our past someone has pounded into us just how negatively they they think of us.

As an example from my own life. When I was a teenager and a young adult I was told by a few people that I was fat and ugly on a constant basis. One person told me I was so ugly I ought to kill myself and went on to suggest ways that I could do it and another person thought I was so ugly I ought not even be allowed to eat lunch in the same cafeteria as everyone else and tried to forcefully remove me from the lunch room. Those were the worst two examples.

Flash forward to my adult years. I now know that at that time I had a healthy BMI and that what they perceived as fat was just a curvier body type than what was fashionable at the time *cough*androgynous-anorexic*cough*. People tell me all the time that I am exceptionally pretty. But still I avoid cameras and mirrors - why because every time I see myself I see a woman who is fat and ugly.

Why is this? Well because as an ADHD person I take the idea that truth is rarely flattering and flattery is never truth very literally - it's just an example of one of the things we do as ADHD Adults.

4. social cues - i thought i was good at this , but then again i never really thought about it or judged it against other people

This is also something common to ADHDers but it's also common to Aspies. Those social niceties that come naturally to other people confuse and often intimidate us.

5. negative thinking - i constantly ruminate about negative things, even suicidal ideas and things like that

This is absolutely NOT an ADHD trait. Rather it is a depressive trait and I would encourage you to please, please, please get help for it.

If these thoughts are just passing ideas then set up an appointment with a therapist to help you with it.

If however these are more than passing thoughts and you have started making preparations to kill yourself then call 911, 999 or what ever the bleep the emergency number in your country/area is and get yourself admitted to the hospital NOW!

See the following site for more information on suicide prevention

http://www.crisis-center.org/Suicide_Prevention.html

On a side note the fact that you are willing to mention this makes you rare - most suicidal men do not talk about it and often others don't even know they wanted to kill themselves until after they are dead; especially if they don't know the suicide warning signs.

no affect or distinguishable emotions, this started early teen years, and was not the case in my youth, so about 18 years now, but addhd was evident fron when i started school and reports and teachers remarks back this up, unfortunately i was a bit (mid 80s) before it was really paid much attention too

This particular trait while not an ADHD trait is prevalent in Aspergers and in Depression as well as several other conditions. How bad this is depends. For example many serial killers suffer from a psychotic disorder that prevents them from having emotions unless they are harming others.

You definitely want to talk to a therapist about that symptom.

oh and im constantly irritated and full of rage, although i never that the rage come out

at least not on people (or animals or anything)

This actually is an ADHD trait but it could also be just testosterone.

Men may be bears and like siting in your little caves but every once in a while you have to come out and 'let out'.


So that's my take.

in short - yes I think very much that you ought to talk to your therapist about other conditions which might be co-morbid with your ADHD.

First of all ADHD hardly ever travels by itself. For example I have ADHD and General Anxiety and I might have Asbergers.

Let me continue by answering your questions

According to the DSM IV there are Three Types of ADHD being Inattentive, hyperactivity-impulsivity and Combined. You must match at least six criteria in a type to be considered to have that kind of ADHD. Obviously if you have 6 in inattentive and 6 in hyperactivity-impulsivity you have combined type. One site that has information on the criteria for these is http://www.turnertoys.com/ADHD/APA_diagCriteria.htm and that is where I am pulling these from today but there are several other places where you can find them.

For Inattentive type the criteria are



Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities

This is me when it comes to housework.

As an example of this I made fish and chips yesterday and afterward someone had to point out to me that I had gotten grease all over the kitchen in the process. I would not have realized this on my own (but I was still offended because they then went on for 15 minutes about it).


Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities

I disguise this problem by having several activities in front of me at once. I tell them I'm multitasking but in reality I forgot about one of the activities for a moment.

As an example of this I am supposed to be working on a site for my alliance on Evony and I just now remembered about it.





Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly

What can I say my mind wanders. Maybe something someone else said made me think of something else or maybe something distracted me.

Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions)

Hmm, let me think. Is this me? YES! For example right now there are dirty dishes all around my computer. Three days ago I decided to clean them all up. Take a guess as to whether or not I've even started yet.

Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities

I've heard of this strange concept called 'organizing abilities'. Maybe someone else can explain them - because I know I sure don't have them.

Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork or homework)

This is a tricky one for me. As a child I avoided math because my teacher told me I was so stupid it wasn't even worth trying to teach me (I kid you not he actually said that to my face). It was not until college that a professor explained a few concepts to me in a different way and suddenly I was at the top of the class. People used to think that we ADHDers were mentally challenged because of this. We aren't we just look at the world in a different way. What normal people might see as complicated we find easy and what normal people might see as easy we find complicated.
On the other hand ever since I was a child mentally challenging activities have been my escape route from the world. By the time I was in 2nd grade I was reading and writing on a college level and by the time I was in 3rd I was tutoring other students. My spare time was spent absorbing as much as I could on as many subjects as I could and that habit still continues to this day - only now it's worse because now I have the web and can get access to material anytime I want. ;)

Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (eg, toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools)

Actually I think I inherited this one as my mom does it and so does my grandmother.

I once spent 10 minutes looking for the purse that was hanging over my arm...


Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli

You know there is a reason why it takes me several hours to write up a post like this.

Is often forgetful in daily activities

I'm supposed to do some stuff today, aren't I?


The Criteria for hyperactivity-impulsivity type are

Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat

As I type this I am moving my legs about because I really need to fidget right now. I also learned as a child that if you are making something the grown ups don't notice your fidgeting and so can't punish you for it ;)

Often leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected

Okay so obviously if a child leaves their seat at school they would get in trouble and if an adult leaves their seat at work they would get in trouble. Me? I learned to leave my seat in my mind and let it wander all over the place. In situations were I would not receive some sort of punishment however I get up and walk around until the fidgets are all out.

Often runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate (in adolescents or adults, may be limited to subjective feelings of restlessness)

Actually I still do this if I think I can get away with it. For example I often sit on the back of the couch rather than on the actually seat cushions.

Often has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly

This is not me - if anything it's difficult for others to get me to be noisy. However I do feel the need to run and tell someone else every time I learn something new.

Is often "on the go" or often acts as if "driven by a motor"

I wonder if doing umpteen million things at once counts for this. Or the fact that I pace when talking on the phone.

Often talks excessively

More than most people this is me

I was actually told I had bipolar mania disorder because of this. The key difference her is frequency of occurrence. With ADHD the person is always talkative, speaks very fast and has a hard time shutting up (guilty!) with bi-polar mania they aren't usually more talkative than other people but then suddenly they start talking more and faster than they usually do. (sorry please try again)


Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed

I've actually learned to not do this and I'm so proud of myself!

The trick is to make yourself repeat back to them what you think they said before coming up with your answer
Note this took me several years to teach myself and I still have problems with it.


Often has difficulty awaiting turn

I hate going shopping. Why is this? Could it possibly be that having to wait my turn in line annoys me?

Often interrupts or intrudes on others

Take a guess about what annoys other people about me most.


A good article about adult ADHD is http://www.aafp.org/afp/20001101/2077.html. In it the following quote can be found



Wow! If I could figure out how to prioritize and organize - or maybe prioritize organizing - my life would be amazingly improved over what it is now.

I am constantly forgetting to do things like pay my bills, go to social events and even reply to emails.

I have actually lost friends over things I have said without thinking that I did not even realize I had vocalized.

There is something called the Utah Criteria for adult ADHD this states that an adult has ADHD if they have a child history consistent with ADHD (Me!), suffer from hyperactivity and poor concentration (ME!) and still display at least two of the following characteristics.



Affective lability

This is defined simply as unstable, rapidly changing emotions
Simply put this means that as ADHDers we are more sensitive to emotional stimuli than most.

My pdoc told me I was bipolar because my emotions change so much and so rapidly. Again this is a similarity between the two but there are still huge differences.

In an ADHD person the emotions are triggered by stimuli and are appropriate if overwrought emotional responses. They also fluctuate through out the day and usually don't last more than a few hours at a time.

This is totally me. What can I say I smile when something makes me happy, laugh at things I find funny and cry at things I find sad. Just because others can't see the trigger doesn't mean it's not there.

In a Bipolar person the emotions have no apparent trigger and are even more extreme than the ADHD response. They do not fluctuate as much as in ADHD. In fact in order to qualify as Hypomania or hypodepression the mood must last for at least 5 days without change of any kind and in order for it to qualify as full on mania or depression it has to last at least 6 months. Also they are much more extreme than ADHD.

Very much not me

Keep in mind that it is possible to have ADHD and Bipolar disorder at the same time



Hot temper

I don't like to think of it as a hot temper. I like to think of it as my 'I won't put up with crap' defense mode.
On the other hand my hot temper did get me fired from my job.


Inability to complete tasks and disorganization

I've given up on ever being organized and I have this fantasy about actually finishing one of the (many) stories I've been writing (for several years).


Stress intolerance

Yeah that's me
Led to the hot temper incident that got me fired


Impulsivity

Take a guess as to how I chose this thread to reply to today?


Hope that helps on that

continuing



For this I personally think it is a bi-product of the ADHD or rather a bi-product of having been ostracized because we don't do thing the way that other people do. As mentioned before, we are very sensitive. Why should we.

Note that social phobia is not a fear of people. That would be Anthrophobia or Sociophobia which would mean we wouldn't be able to stand being around other people at all to the point that just socializing on a forum like this would terrify us.

Obviously an ADHD person doesn't freak out just because they have to go out in public or spend time in a crowd - unless of course they have a co-morbid conditions that does cause them to do this.

Rather Social Phobia means a fear of being judged negatively (and I might add unfairly) in social situations. It does not help that the ADHD person (child or adult) makes the perfect victim for a bully (yes there are adult bullies) to victimize because of our over sensitivity to emotional stimuli.



This goes hand in hand with the social phobia. We worry about what others think of us because sometime in our past someone has pounded into us just how negatively they they think of us.

As an example from my own life. When I was a teenager and a young adult I was told by a few people that I was fat and ugly on a constant basis. One person told me I was so ugly I ought to kill myself and went on to suggest ways that I could do it and another person thought I was so ugly I ought not even be allowed to eat lunch in the same cafeteria as everyone else and tried to forcefully remove me from the lunch room. Those were the worst two examples.

Flash forward to my adult years. I now know that at that time I had a healthy BMI and that what they perceived as fat was just a curvier body type than what was fashionable at the time *cough*androgynous-anorexic*cough*. People tell me all the time that I am exceptionally pretty. But still I avoid cameras and mirrors - why because every time I see myself I see a woman who is fat and ugly.

Why is this? Well because as an ADHD person I take the idea that truth is rarely flattering and flattery is never truth very literally - it's just an example of one of the things we do as ADHD Adults.



This is also something common to ADHDers but it's also common to Aspies. Those social niceties that come naturally to other people confuse and often intimidate us.



This is absolutely NOT an ADHD trait. Rather it is a depressive trait and I would encourage you to please, please, please get help for it.

If these thoughts are just passing ideas then set up an appointment with a therapist to help you with it.

If however these are more than passing thoughts and you have started making preparations to kill yourself then call 911, 999 or what ever the bleep the emergency number in your country/area is and get yourself admitted to the hospital NOW!

See the following site for more information on suicide prevention

http://www.crisis-center.org/Suicide_Prevention.html

On a side note the fact that you are willing to mention this makes you rare - most suicidal men do not talk about it and often others don't even know they wanted to kill themselves until after they are dead; especially if they don't know the suicide warning signs.



This particular trait while not an ADHD trait is prevalent in Aspergers and in Depression as well as several other conditions. How bad this is depends. For example many serial killers suffer from a psychotic disorder that prevents them from having emotions unless they are harming others.

You definitely want to talk to a therapist about that symptom.



This actually is an ADHD trait but it could also be just testosterone.

Men may be bears and like siting in your little caves but every once in a while you have to come out and 'let out'.


So that's my take.

in short - yes I think very much that you ought to talk to your therapist about other conditions which might be co-morbid with your ADHD.

thanks , no im not gonna kill my self, and i am on depression meds

not autistic , the affect stuff started at 12/13 age

the social phobia is straight anxiety , and has been around since i was very young



good post , thanks, i would like to type more but dinners ready

Me before Adderall, living for 34 years with:

- inability to concentrate or finish tasks, avoiding mentally difficult tasks - including homework, etc. causing major delays in getting my BS degree in Accounting.

- hyperactivity, can't sit still for more than 10 min
- get bored easily, avoid most people because they all bore me.
- avoiding social situations like going to parties, etc. because I find them boring and can't seem to focus on just that thing.
- keep switching from one thing to another, can't make up my mind
- interupting others when they speak
- impulsive shopping, had to stop due to accumulating excessive goods and CC debts
- reckless driving (not sure if that's ADHD related but I wanna get to places fast)
- changing jobs more then normal, I'd quit the first day if I didn't like the place or I found the job boring (most accounting is)
- no social skills (I hate celebrations of any kind, holiday cheer, traditions, etc.)
- getting easily distracted my the slightest noise.
- procrastinating, there's always another day....leading to anxiety from not being able to keep up
- low self esteem - from being different then my peers

that's just what I can think of at the top of my head. Wish I had sought treatment sooner. Oh well...better late then never ;)

1. what are your actual adhd symptoms

i know some people only take meds to focus or study, or to fit in

me and others on here need them constantly , i always have constant physical and psychic agitation , always, is this adhd or something more

i meet both hyper/impulsive and inattentive criteria...all of them. physical and mental agitation is in there, yes. also lack of impulse control (acting/speaking before thinking, interrupting, etc), organizational/prioritizing issues, zoning out, getting stuck when presented with too many options (too many is usually more than 3), losing my train of thought or skipping to another in mid sentence, moving from thing to thing without completing anything, inability to block out external stimuli and keep focus on one thing/idea/task, etc.

2. social phobia, is this a symptom or by product of adhd, meds can slow me down enough to have a conversation, but i still freeze up around unfamiliar people

i don't have social phobia, but i do socially inappropriate things (blurting out things you're not supposed to actually state--calling out the elephant in the room, for example, being what's considered too direct/blunt, interrupting people, impatience).

3. self esteem , i am always worried of what people think of me , like appearance or achievements are all i have to offer

i don't have this issue

4. social cues - i thought i was good at this , but then again i never really thought about it or judged it against other people

i can range from acceptable to abysmal on reading social cues. i tend toward the literal in general, so it's largely that i fail to get subtext/innuendo.

5. negative thinking - i constantly ruminate about negative things, even suicidal ideas and things like that

not so much. i go thing to thing pretty fast and i'm not overall negative in thinking processes. i'm not prone to depression or suicidal ideation either.

6- no affect or distinguishable emotions, this started early teen years, and was not the case in my youth, so about 18 years now, but addhd was evident fron when i started school and reports and teachers remarks back this up, unfortunately i was a bit (mid 80s) before it was really paid much attention too

i have emotions, but don't always communicate them well or something. "negative" emotions are the problematic ones insofar as i tend to default to anger and then later realize i'm actually upset or sad...unless i'm really just angry;) i don't stick with emotions for long though.

hope that helps:)

ok, out of curiosity again

does anyone have social phobia not related to poor social skills

i dont have poor social skills , simply, i have extreme anxiety in social situations i am unfamiliar with

it has been like that since about the same time my adhd became noticeable


and has any meds worked for it