View Full Version : A few of my poems I would love some input

01-14-11, 05:15 PM
Ode to art

emotion reflected in vivid colours
spread across a canvas sheet
artist's perspective of life
portrayed in a beautiful work

harmonious notes fill a room,
musicians sorrows and joys,
dreams and disappointments
formed into melody, sculpted into song

tears and ink,
laughter and paper,
words painted to flow
as the poet reflects

Art of many forms,
artists of countless disciplines
each one creating unique beauty
that looks deeply into the hearts of men

feel what they feel,
experience their pain,
take pleasure in their joys,
but never take them for granted,
for without them our world would be
a very boring place

Horrid creature of my mind

Horrid creature of my mind,
how you hound me in the day
and elude me in the night.

in your hands is great power,
you can take me to places ive never been,
show me things ive never seen.
you can make my life hell,
kill my focus,
disable productivity

sleep, you horrid creature of my mind,
how you stalk me in the day
yet evade me in the night

when sought, you are no where to be found,
when needed, you're never profound
Yet when your not welcome,
you will sneak into my soul,
grip controll of my body,
and dull my mind

sleep, oh you evil creature of my mind
if I didnt need you, you wouldve been gone long ago

Of moments thoughts and actions
Moments spent in thought,
A solitary world inside my mind.
Infinite possibilities and dreams are caught

Reality strikes,
dreams are weighed against humanities flaws,
suddenly the amazing world falls to shreds,
each dream, each possibility, falls through the floors

life is examined,
people observed,
pointless it seems,
is it deserved?

A man stands out,
his purpose found,
moments treasured to become more profound

moments spent in thought,
and a realization of thoughts turned to action
so infinite possibilities and dreams can be caught

Nature's war

Bright orange army
destruction in it's

It consumes the weak,
feeds on the withered.
The forest, is its fuel

flames stand tall
the power is felt.
no man, dare approach.

darkness falls,
the battle begins...
a few soft drops
fall, they are consumed

the dark grey clouds,
press hard into the assault.
cold wet drops fall
into the fiery force

only embers remain,
the wounded forest
tells the story,
of a battle fought...
and a war, that never ends.


I sit serenely
under the calm gray sky.
It's simple elegance
making light of all my
worries and regrets.

And slowly as the
soft, light rain begins to fall,
i fondly remember
good times of old...

Truly, it is a beautiful mood,
each raindrop filled with peace,
a treasured moment,
as I feel the cool wet drops
across my face

all stress relieved,
and I feel,
what it means
to be alive

Storm of hate

under the storm of hatred
with the thunder of anger
and lightning of destruction
we all stand

we, the world, people born into hate
children, tought to hate
children, taught to fight
we the world, people of sin

in the storm of hatred evil things are born
war, the destroyer of life
prejudice, the destroyer of pride
abuse, the destroyer of families

sins of hatred, a term of no meaning
for all sins are born in hate
hatred, the fuel that feeds the flames of hell
hatred, the staple of our people
hatred, we, the world, have become hatred

under this storm of hate i knew i could not live
i knew cover was needed so i huriedly searched
i tried to use money,
but it grew soggy and leaked
i hid behind romance,
but was used once again

finaly though, i found it
the shelter that protects
the shelter that holds
i found it, the protection of love
it holds back the rains of hate
let's hide...
let's hide behind the cover of love

please pick them to pieces for me, i want to improve my writing as much as possible, and i hope u all enjoy them

02-05-11, 02:19 PM

05-02-11, 05:44 AM
heres 2 more

Strokes of hope

A thousand faces
smudged into a blur
appearing different,
but really all the same.
A thousand voices
drowned in chaotic chorus,
no colour,
no meaning,
no sense.

Streaks of colour
flash across the canvas
momentarily bringing life
into the image of our world,
they are quickly overwhelmed

The senseless world cant accept it,
caught in their meaningless existence
the colours seem
and unacceptable.

Darkness quickly overwhelms the image,
and the artist tries once more
to bring colour to this world

Each time he tries
the same thing happens
but he never gives up,
he never gives in...
He will try and try again,
until the colour,
takes its hold

Blue light dance

sudden darkness fills the sky,
loud cracks of thunder
echo across the land.

Blue lines streak from above and
wreak havoc down bellow.
Bullets of ice are shot from heaven's rifles
and torrents of rain clear everything of old.

as quickly as it came, it disappears,
light shines through the freshly parted clouds.
The world seems different, refreshed... renewed
destruction gave way to new creation,
and new growth was inspired

05-22-11, 12:17 PM

Nowhere to run,
no place to hide,
countless thoughts
flash across my mind
each one leaves a mark,
each one causes pain

Is there an escape?
Can i break free
from this torture from my mind?

I cant stop the thoughts,
they wont go away
someone set me free!!

Can't go on much further,
stressed to breaking point
can't do it alone,
Someone set me free

God almighty
king of the heavens,
lord of all creation,
Father set me free!!

06-07-11, 04:10 PM
white water waves

White water washes
across the wavy white dunes

Wet seals swim
across the salty sea.
See them swim,
see them sway

Slow moving snails
slide across the shore.
slipery slime sinkning
slowly behind

Watch the water,
watch it wave.
Is it saying hello?
is it saying goodbye?

07-04-11, 04:52 AM

Each has a story
Each has a song
if you look close enough
theres always something wrong

Abused by a husband,
hated by parents
depression and sadness
anxiety and pain

no-one is fine,
sadness hidden deep
don't let it show
don't let anyone know

Each has a story,
Each has a song.
carry your burdens,
pretend nothings wrong.

but all bottled up,
it soon will implode.
so let it all out,
share all the burdens.
theres a father who loves you
a father who cares

10-31-11, 03:40 AM
Words not heard
Words spoken,
words not heard,
word of god ingnored

Repeated words,
courage and strength
Filled with holy might

Not our strength
HIS holy might
Sending darkness to flight

Holy light
Seen by faith
guidance through the night

take up swords!
Hear the words!
and act upon his might
Take up victory in figth!

Darkness up above
A dark cloud flies,
high a bove.
It casts a shadow
across the land

Murky dark,
Things unclear.
is wiped away
Fearsome rule
Rides across the skies

The darkness
is cold.
The darkness
is hard.
hope, is hardly felt

Strong winds whip
across the land.
Darkened couds
dragged across the sky

Darkened blight,
caught in flight.
hope, has been restored

violet dawn
Brilliant colours, violet bright
shine to my delight
purple leaves, fying free
wonderfull to me

crowd the ground,
in a carpet soft
A most amazing sight

purple blue, on the move
canvassing the ground
Brilliant and bright,
A thankfull sight

04-20-12, 04:52 PM
i gots a new one :D

Neurons and essence

bright sparks flash across the skull,
a thought appears in the mind.
a thought appears in the mind,
bright sparks flash across the skull.

which is first?
which is last?
the brain for the mind?
or the mind for the brain?

flash bright, think fast.
brain, soul, mind.
flash bright, think fast.

is your mind your brain?
your soul your mind?
your soul your brain?

what are we?
thoughts appear in minds,
bright sparks flash across skulls
and souls, break free from natural order.