View Full Version : I hate my fr***in life! [rant]


hypergirl96
02-09-11, 07:10 PM
So yeah, i was tired and stuff. went to school. dont like school to begin with but it was fine. tyhink i failed my bioo and english midterms but i was fine. hyper and happy as always!

i was really excited! today was our last basketball game and i was really looking forward to playing a good game and getting some points up. we got to the gym, warmed up,, hopes running high.

we sucked in the first half, we were losing bby six ponts and had to pick up our game. i was still fine and dandy. i had gone in once, done allright yeah big deal. so the second half came and we played like beasts..or at least the starters did. i was benched the wholee time till the last forty seconds (when it was ovious we were gonna win the fri***in game. well, i played like crap, but i was kinda alright till after everyone left and stuff and was practicing and my brother kept stealing the ball and running around with it thinking it was some funny joke. the excitement of our win was ebbings away.

then i remember what my couch said. "your a team right? did the team win? does it matter how each person played individually?"

well, newsflash here! to me it does! i played like crapa dn i know it and he knows it which is why he didnt put me in in the first place adn that kinda got me eallly mad. i got sorta sharp with my mom in the car. then she basically said that i sucked so mucjh that there was no chance i would make jv next year and it wasnt important to me cause i didnt ask anyone about getting a personqal coah and she just said that trying out would be a waste of time.

well, i almost cried right in the car with my siblings in the back! i almost never cry. and she went on like this for a bit and my brother and sister were yelling and i wanted to punch them in the face. i doont know why.

and so i went home and when i got there, waited till everyone was inside and went out and tried to practice. this is really important to me no matter what my mom says. i could never fr***in remember to ask about the personal coach stiff and i dont go to the school i play at cause my school doesnt have sports so i cant talk to them later.

it doesnt help that the coach has obvious favorites and only cares about them and gives them pointers and not me and a few others. i hate when that happens. i hate it!!

arent the not-michael-jordans the ones who need more help and encouragement? yes. byt wheres it going? to the michael jordans.

im not mad at my temmates, i love them. but im so fr***in p***ed right now at my coach..but mostly at myself. i suck at everything! i cant get anything right! thats why everyone hates mee and i have no friends and i suck at sports. no one wants to be around me cause im too much of a failure. they all hate me.

so my mom calls me in after like ten minutes (almost cried a fe times out there) and came insode five minutes later and went straight to my room. once the dor was closed i broke down in tears for like a minute. i dont know why. probably cause im such a weak failure. cause i suck at everything. i hate myself. why cant i be better? why cant i be stronger? i never cry...why now? over something so stupid. why cant i get anything right!! :mad:

im sorry guys if you had to read this. i really dont know why i posted this here. just had to let it out maybe. i dont know. just ignore me. i cant get anything right.

metzfanaz
02-09-11, 07:25 PM
I went through the same thing in high school, ironically enough playing freshman basketball. We were average, actually I think we ended up 3 games under .500 but still. I practiced with the team, didn't get a uniform until game 6 or 7 when one of the kids got expelled from school. Ended up the only time I got into games was during the end or when a foul was needed and the starters were all in foul trouble. It sucked! I was a good defensive player, had a decent enough jump shot that for someone 6'3 I could get some in.

It is frustrating but keep your head up. Practice and show your coach that they were wrong, make them have to play you. :)

hypergirl96
02-09-11, 07:31 PM
I went through the same thing in high school, ironically enough playing freshman basketball. We were average, actually I think we ended up 3 games under .500 but still. I practiced with the team, didn't get a uniform until game 6 or 7 when one of the kids got expelled from school. Ended up the only time I got into games was during the end or when a foul was needed and the starters were all in foul trouble. It sucked! I was a good defensive player, had a decent enough jump shot that for someone 6'3 I could get some in.

It is frustrating but keep your head up. Practice and show your coach that they were wrong, make them have to play you. :)

thanks for the advice. i also have some transportation problems cause i miss most of practice and miss some of the games cause the bus leaves at 2:30 and for me school ends at 2:40 and my mom and dad are too busy to drive me. so it makes me look undedicated and stuff. i try to practice but i have too much work! i can play man, two, three and alone, but ii cant play in a reglare game. i cant fr***in focus! im allright off court but on i suck like heck! and i cant even run the plays cause i get so confused and ugh!

well, anyways, sorry about that. thanks for the advice. :)

anonymouslyadd
02-09-11, 07:45 PM
I'm glad you did post it. I think sometimes parents say things that they don't mean to say. It's usually out of there own frustration and not knowing what to say. Don't let your mom discourage you. My mom often tries to guilt me and makes me feel a little on the worthless side. I know I'm awesome and you are too!

I think youre a cool girl hypergirl, and if you want to, you can make that jv team. If it is your desire to do it, I believe that you can make it happen!

hypergirl96
02-09-11, 07:48 PM
I'm glad you did post it. I think sometimes parents say things that they don't mean to say. It's usually out of there own frustration and not knowing what to say. Don't let your mom discourage you. My mom often tries to guilt me and makes me feel a little on the worthless side. I know I'm awesome and you are too!

I think youre a cool girl hypergirl, and if you want to, you can make that jv team. If it is your desire to do it, I believe that you can make it happen!

thanks. :)

you guys are good friends :) even if you are older than me. lol :)

Kingway
02-09-11, 08:22 PM
im not mad at my temmates, i love them. but im so fr***in p***ed right now at my coach..but mostly at myself. i suck at everything! i cant get anything right! thats why everyone hates mee and i have no friends and i suck at sports. no one wants to be around me cause im too much of a failure. they all hate me.



Failures happens to everyone, that doesn't mean that you suck at everything. I doubt "everyone" hates you because your bad at a few things, it may just be your imagination. And people who have a lot of confidence in themselves tend to be more social than the ones who doesn't have faith in themselves, that's why they have more friends, etc. Be confident, and you'll make friends.

And don't worry, being a teenager is pretty harsh, but in a few years you won't even think about the problems you have right now.

kacklebird
02-09-11, 08:31 PM
Hi Hypergirl,

I am new to the group and was reading your posting. First I think it's great that you post to others so you can vent and get whatever is eating at you off of your chest. Please don't ever apologize for dumping your emotions out to everyone in this forum/group. If anything it's a good thing to do. It broke my heart :( to hear that you're in so much emotional pain. I feel really bad for you that your mom told you that you sucked so much that you wouldn't make JV. Are you able to talk to her and tell her how much that hurt you and that it only beats down your self esteem? Do you have a counselor at school that you can talk to? When I was in school I had lots of difficulties due to my ADHD. I was always being yelled at and was sent into the hallway for talking too much. I just couldn't stop talking, constantly distracted and the list goes on. I too felt like a failure. I want you to know that there is hope and light at the end of this dark tunnel that you feel like you're in. I never ever thought I could accomplish getting a college degree and was I ever wrong. I guess what I'm trying to say is please don't beat yourself up. You are a smart person, not a loser so don't doubt yourself or beat yourself up....K? I know it's hard not to when you're feeling so down. I'm a mother and sometimes a mom say things that they truly don't mean out of anger. Your mom may be feeling bad about saying that to you and I think maybe you should talk to her about how you're feeling about everything. Even if you have to write her a note I would do it. Maybe she doesn't realize the emotional pain you're in right now over everything. I think teachers and coaches in school always have their pets or favorite students. Why some are like that I don't know and I think that's unfair to the other students. That doesn't mean you're not as good of a player as everyone else. Anyway, I think it's good you vent to all of us as we can all be your support. I hope I didn't ramble on too much. I just felt the need to tell you these things. Take care and hang in there :)

metzfanaz
02-09-11, 08:46 PM
thanks for the advice. i also have some transportation problems cause i miss most of practice and miss some of the games cause the bus leaves at 2:30 and for me school ends at 2:40 and my mom and dad are too busy to drive me. so it makes me look undedicated and stuff. i try to practice but i have too much work! i can play man, two, three and alone, but ii cant play in a reglare game. i cant fr***in focus! im allright off court but on i suck like heck! and i cant even run the plays cause i get so confused and ugh!

well, anyways, sorry about that. thanks for the advice. :)

Seriously, you sound EXACTLY like me when it comes to playing. I hated running plays, no matter where I was I was always in the wrong spot. Throw off the whole play then our PG would just shoot a three. Luckily he was a good shot. :)

No need to apologize. :p

That sucks about the transportation.

Rebelyell
02-09-11, 08:52 PM
Your lit up about it because of that negative convo you had in the car w your mom.I'd be totally irked and cussing about it too if it was me.Can you ask the girls who the coach favors for tips?be nice an approachable and ask if they could help you get better for the team etc your intelligent you'll figure it out.I was never popular in school and was always picked last for everything.By time I was a senior in hi school I had such a P*ss poor attitude I walked out of class.When the gym teacher asked me where I was going I said Im done,**** this class and bleep you too Im done Im tired of being picked last peace im out.That kind of got me in trouble and had to hear the cant you just go to school and keep yoiur mouth shut lecture from my folks.NO I cant which caused even more problems since I couldnt keep my mouth shut at home either. Anywhow Life and work is like this,boss has his favorites it stinks but the real people you'll find dont care for the bosses kiss butts or gophers or company men whatever you wanna call it.go try out for jvm and who cares what any 1 says or thinks about it.iF YOU DONT MAKE IT AT LEAST IN your heart you know you tried the best you could have done.hey we all fall short of the glory sometimes.

hypergirl96
02-09-11, 08:55 PM
Hi Hypergirl,
I feel really bad for you that your mom told you that you sucked so much that you wouldn't make JV. Are you able to talk to her and tell her how much that hurt you and that it only beats down your self esteem? Do you have a counselor at school that you can talk to?

i dont think she meant it that way, but in the state i was in thats how it came across. after a bit of cool down time, we're fine now. we actually have a pretty good relationship, exceot for a few rough spots caused by my adhd mostly and her inability to understand me very well. someties i feel she expects too much of me, but sometimes thats good. if my parents werent so tough about my grades and supportive, then i wouldnt be getting high bs to high as in school. but sometimes...i dont know, we ust say things or do things that p***es the other off, but we usually make up after a bit of cool-down time.

and the counselor at my school i heard isnt really that good. lol :D

Rebelyell
02-09-11, 10:52 PM
Good thing you didnt punch your brothe ror sister in the car out.Your mom would of been really tweeked out then on you.I had the same kind of relationship w my mom,we could go at it and 2 hours later who ever was wrong would apologize and give each other a hug.I miss her shes been gone 10 years on the 13 of this month.