View Full Version : Ask a silly question get a silly answer


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Bluerose
02-15-11, 01:46 PM
I'll start.

And if you think you know the answer post it.


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? :p

metzfanaz
02-15-11, 03:13 PM
Priorities...the astronauts didn't need wheels on their luggage so it wasn't that important at the time. Plus, it was so men could look manly carrying their luggage through the airport.

Why does anyone care why the chicken crossed the road anyways?

tipoo
02-15-11, 04:23 PM
Because he stole your wallet


How many roads must a man walk down?

Bezuidenthustra
02-15-11, 04:30 PM
Because he stole your wallet


How many roads must a man walk down?

As many as the chicken crossed.

Why is it so easy to remember to flush the toilet but so hard to remember to put down the seat?

tipoo
02-15-11, 04:39 PM
Not as gross


Why do I have to put down the seat? Why can't the next person just put it down? Its the same amount of effort for either of us, quit 'yer bellyaching

Bezuidenthustra
02-15-11, 04:43 PM
Not as gross


Why do I have to put down the seat? Why can't the next person just put it down? Its the same amount of effort for either of us, quit 'yer bellyaching

Because apparently simple logic doesn't extend to the concept of toilet seats.

I can't remember who gave me this mug - does anyone know?

Mignon
02-15-11, 04:46 PM
How many roads must a man walk down?


The Greeks (and before that, the Sumerians) answered the question how many roads must a man walk down a long time ago; three. The riddle of the sphinx at Thebes ("where three roads meet") is really a short parable. The three roads to the prosperous port symbolize the three influences in Man's life; the abstract realm, the physical realm and their meeting point where new things are created.



Why were people so afraid of claymation from about 1950 - 1990?

Lunacie
02-15-11, 04:48 PM
Because apparently simple logic doesn't extend to the concept of toilet seats.

I can't remember who gave me this mug - does anyone know?

You won it for coming in 29th in the Iditarod.

Which tastes better, chicken tacos or beef tacos?

Bluerose
02-15-11, 04:49 PM
Don't know the answer.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

metzfanaz
02-15-11, 05:51 PM
The only humans that would want to eat the burnt toast are the inventors and since they don't get out of the house ever, they figure everybody likes it that way.

Who is Bill and why do I keep getting all of his mail?
Dude seems to owe a lot of money....

Lunacie
02-15-11, 06:01 PM
The only humans that would want to eat the burnt toast are the inventors and since they don't get out of the house ever, they figure everybody likes it that way.

Who is Bill and why do I keep getting all of his mail?
Dude seems to owe a lot of money....

He's one of those inventors who never leaves the house and sits up all night watching the home shopping network and ordering everything. The bills keep coming to you because the postman is dyslexic so he keeps reading the address as 218 West St instead of 812 West St.


Why can't I find a parking space where I don't open the car door into a puddle of melted ice water?

itsanADHDthing
02-15-11, 06:10 PM
Because you don't live in the desert :)

Why don't I have my license?

tipoo
02-15-11, 06:30 PM
Because your probably like me and just keep putting it off.


If something is not being observed by any living thing, can it be said to exist?

metzfanaz
02-15-11, 07:24 PM
Yes, just because someone or something doesn't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Unless your talking about vampires, everybody knows they're only on the tv.

What will Lady Gaga think of next?

Lunacie
02-15-11, 07:57 PM
Yes, just because someone or something doesn't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Unless your talking about vampires, everybody knows they're only on the tv.

What will Lady Gaga think of next?

Lady Gaga will have a sex change operation and change her name to Gaga George.

Who will win the American Idol title this year?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-15-11, 08:28 PM
Baal.


Should I become a librarian if I'm able?

Bluerose
02-15-11, 09:18 PM
Yes.

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

tipoo
02-15-11, 09:21 PM
To shelter the dirt that works under them :p


What is the best number?

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-15-11, 09:21 PM
True.

What is the best number? That's such a silly question!

What is the most sincere form of flattery?

metzfanaz
02-16-11, 12:18 AM
If they name a sandwich at a deli after you.

Do you want paper or plastic?

Bluerose
02-16-11, 02:08 AM
Paper.


What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

metzfanaz
02-16-11, 02:13 AM
Wwwweeee... That's what everybody says when their having fun, they refer to themselves and other people. :) (Joke courtesy of Mitch Hedberg, don't want anyone thinking I'm that funny or anything :p )

One point twenty-one gigawatts of electricity, what was I thinking?

tipoo
02-16-11, 09:35 AM
Just trying to get your flux capacitor up to speed.


Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

shysmile
02-16-11, 10:52 AM
What??


What??

:p

tipoo
02-16-11, 10:54 AM
Answer me lady!

shysmile
02-16-11, 11:02 AM
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

I think be far even need decide want to like more look has decide been. :p


What did I just say? :confused:

Lunacie
02-16-11, 11:28 AM
I think be far even need decide want to like more look has decide been. :p


What did I just say? :confused:

I don't know. It's all Geek to me.

Hey look! What's that cat doing over there?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-16-11, 01:14 PM
It's using the sun's energy.


What was that thing in my bathtub?

Bezuidenthustra
02-16-11, 01:29 PM
Baal.


Should I become a librarian if I'm able?

I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing at this answer. Just to let you know.

Bezuidenthustra
02-16-11, 01:30 PM
It's using the sun's energy.


What was that thing in my bathtub?

Taylor Swift.

Why is this pen so capricious with its ink allowance?

shysmile
02-16-11, 02:21 PM
Because it has ADHD. :p


Why isn't the sky purple?

Bezuidenthustra
02-16-11, 02:25 PM
Because it has ADHD. :p


Why isn't the sky purple?

Because it's magenta.


If it's between the former or the latter, which word would win a coin flip?

nova2012
02-16-11, 02:51 PM
Either the foam or the ladder.


What is the air speed velocity of an unladen buffalo?

Lunacie
02-16-11, 02:59 PM
Either the foam or the ladder.


What is the air speed velocity of an unladen buffalo?

All it can gie ye is impulse drive, cap'n.

What language does a Wookie speak?

nova2012
02-16-11, 03:02 PM
Spanglish.

Why did the squirrel cross the ocean?

metzfanaz
02-16-11, 03:12 PM
For tea and biscuits mate.

Do you think Old Jersey has as many guidos as New Jersey?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-16-11, 07:35 PM
They probably have many more.

http://www.foggybottomfarms.com/images/jerseychew_600.jpg


Are these really called "Guidos" in America? (no wonder I had such a hard time finding a restaurant that served cow tissue!)

nova2012
02-16-11, 07:44 PM
Yes, those are the famous laden guidos. They are prized and exceedingly rare. Their spawn are often born with deformities because of their raucous post-mating behavior.

How do Wasillans like their java chip Frappuccinos prepared?

Bezuidenthustra
02-16-11, 07:52 PM
Yes, those are the famous laden guidos. They are prized and exceedingly rare. Their spawn are often born with deformities because of their raucous post-mating behavior.

How do Wasillans like their java chip Frappuccinos prepared?

With as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck.


But just how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Lunacie
02-16-11, 07:57 PM
With as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck.


But just how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As much, or as little as the wood chuck wanted to chuck.

What the heck is a wood chuck anyway?

nova2012
02-16-11, 08:09 PM
As much, or as little as the wood chuck wanted to chuck.

What the heck is a wood chuck anyway?

This is a wood chuck:

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSaSLCmj2mwG3y0x1Cnwcmufita9icd1 CMkgpjRA7eaVu48QXm0

A chocolate milkshake and a train are approaching each other because the milkshake driver is a straw and has no eyes. The milkshake is traveling sixty-two miles per hour. The train is traveling is traveling at just below the speed of light. If the milkshake and the train are currently seventy-six light years away from each other, approximately how long will it take them to collide? What effect will the theory of special relativity have?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-16-11, 10:38 PM
20 minutes, give or take.


Is reading worth it?

tipoo
02-16-11, 10:40 PM
Anything that expands your mind is worthwhile. Just don't read the cat in the hat repeatedly.


Why does everyone make fun of that Justin Beiber girl?

metzfanaz
02-16-11, 10:50 PM
They're just jealous that all the girls wanna be like her and all the guys wanna be with her.

Why is there an internet ticker on Tipoo's signature when there has only been one internet as long as I've been around?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-16-11, 10:51 PM
......................

tipoo
02-16-11, 11:00 PM
Why is there an internet ticker on Tipoo's signature when there has only been one internet as long as I've been around?



Because your a youngster. Theres clearly more than one, as I alone own 217.

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-16-11, 11:23 PM
What uses are there for Silly String in the construction industry?

Bluerose
02-16-11, 11:24 PM
What's silly sting?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

tipoo
02-16-11, 11:26 PM
Because photons freeze, obviously.

toothpick
02-16-11, 11:27 PM
silly string can definately be used to make workers compensation as result of the shenanigans and hilarity that would ensue such and attempt

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-16-11, 11:47 PM
Why doesn't Bart want people having cow men? Or one cow man, or whatever?

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRgoBJ-w7dbHr0Q04mcscpI6SbleiYepylGDCIAx3SoHqkyKgYLgw&t=1

nova2012
02-16-11, 11:52 PM
He wants them all for himself.

What's the opposite of suicide?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-17-11, 12:23 AM
Egg white.


How do you decide which spelling of 'grey' to use?

metzfanaz
02-17-11, 01:10 AM
I use gray no matter what. :p

Who has the most awesome beard of all time?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-17-11, 02:36 PM
I'm gonna go with Tolstoy because he looks like he's a thousand years old in this picture, although there are probably better.

http://www.opendemocracy.net/files/Tolstoy_and_chekhov.jpg

Bezuidenthustra
02-17-11, 02:59 PM
I'm gonna go with Tolstoy because he looks like he's a thousand years old in this picture, although there are probably better.

http://www.opendemocracy.net/files/Tolstoy_and_chekhov.jpg

Wrong. The answer is always Commander Riker.


Is this thing on my desk edible?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-17-11, 03:06 PM
I'm tempted to say yes.


Did Riker wear boots near as badass as Tolstoy's?

metzfanaz
02-17-11, 03:10 PM
Nope, they were standard issue. He chose to wear his badass boots whenever they went clubbing.

How did Snoopy make his dog house fly on the Red Baron episodes?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-17-11, 03:15 PM
I'm not sure, but however they managed it, all was bleak and futile in the end.

Did those upper class guys go for planes in www1 because the planes resembled horses?

metzfanaz
02-17-11, 03:21 PM
Not really, they went for them because of the glory. Back then the wealthy were looked down upon so the only way for redemption and glory was to fly planes and shoot down the enemy. Either that or they'd look pretty silly in that get-up unless they were really flying a plane. :p

If they put a dislike buttong on Facebook, do you think that'd get more hits then the Like button?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-17-11, 07:01 PM
30 spools!

Thus?

tipoo
02-17-11, 07:02 PM
Thusly.


Boxers or briefs?

Bezuidenthustra
02-17-11, 07:08 PM
Thusly.


Boxers or briefs?

Thrustly.


Robbers or thieves?

metzfanaz
02-17-11, 07:26 PM
Thieves for sure. Give me practice with the I before E rule.

Are we all starting to run out of questions?

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-17-11, 07:39 PM
Yes. I think we need to cool it on the questions lest we actually do run out.

Tell us what we could do besides asking questions.

metzfanaz
02-17-11, 08:53 PM
Making answers and having people guess the question.

Why do you ask?

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-17-11, 10:43 PM
We could use more high quality games.

What are kitchen nightmares and what advice would you give to those that suffer from them?

Bezuidenthustra
02-18-11, 02:14 AM
We could use more high quality games.

What are kitchen nightmares and what advice would you give to those that suffer from them?

Pot, meet kettle.


Actually, I liked your idea. Screw questions. Use commands.

Tell me what the best way is to skin a snake.

Tommy Wilhelm
02-18-11, 02:35 AM
Feed and care for it until it grows larger.


Explain mushrooms.

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-18-11, 02:43 AM
Well I do know that the punchline to a mushroom joke I heard once is "I'm a fungi.", so that should explain a little.

Can the funk be stopped? If so, how?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-18-11, 02:54 AM
You can't stop the funk; you can only give up the funk.

Is the bridge over?

Bezuidenthustra
02-18-11, 03:00 AM
You can't stop the funk; you can only give up the funk.

Is the bridge over?

If you mean the Cambie, then yes.


Provide one reason why I shouldn't eat this Mini Egg.

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-18-11, 03:04 AM
The bioavailability is higher insufflated, rectal, and of course IVed.

How did the Bobcats beat the Lakers 109 to 89?

Bezuidenthustra
02-18-11, 03:14 AM
The bioavailability is higher insufflated, rectal, and of course IVed.

How did the Bobcats beat the Lakers 109 to 89?

By scoring 10 more points.


Tell me which side I should be on.

Tommy Wilhelm
02-18-11, 05:51 PM
His side:

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/wp-content/images/george_orwell.jpg

What shall I do?

Lunacie
02-18-11, 06:08 PM
His side:



What shall I do?

Drop the gun and lay face down on the ground. Now!

Do you have a prescription for those drugs buddy?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-18-11, 06:20 PM
And how.


Whither yestertide?

Lunacie
02-18-11, 06:23 PM
And how.


Whither yestertide?

All the way into the city for a celebratory birthday dinner (and leftovers for dinner tonight - woot!)

Why ya talkin' thataway?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-18-11, 06:42 PM
I don't know much about talking, but I know what I like.

Whence income?

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-18-11, 11:27 PM
Once a fortnight. On Thursdays, sometimes Fridays.

What should be done if money is burning a hole in one's pocket?

metzfanaz
02-19-11, 12:59 AM
Flame retardant pants and underthings.

Where are Wisconsin cows from?

shysmile
02-19-11, 01:17 AM
The little-known island if Wis, located smack in the middle of lake Consin. :p They're famous for their cows. They even have their own amusement park, "Moomoo land".


What do snails think about?

metzfanaz
02-19-11, 01:20 AM
How they really wish they can fly and how they would be able to see the world beyond the grass! :D

What are we going to finally do about all the bees?

avjgirsijdhtjhs
02-19-11, 02:23 AM
Drink some beer and try and catch a buzz. http://www.stangnet.com/images/smilies/eyebrow.gif

Why do people go and get sunburns?

Bluerose
02-19-11, 07:53 AM
Do people do this deliberately? I didn’t know that.

Which side of a duck has the most feathers?

shysmile
02-19-11, 01:14 PM
The out side... hah hah ... :rolleyes:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2394/2183439444_1d16f86aa9.jpg?v=0

What does this cloud look like the shape of?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-19-11, 05:22 PM
Two puppies leaping in opposite directions.

What about the qualia?

Lunacie
02-19-11, 10:19 PM
Two puppies leaping in opposite directions.

What about the qualia?

That's completely subjective.

Don't you think so?

FaithofLeap
02-19-11, 11:04 PM
Definately!


What ever happened to Max Headroom?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-21-11, 05:16 PM
He had a short-lived career as the rapper Headcheze after his show was cancelled; then there were some lean years: he'd get the odd gig DJing, but could never make a living around, and was said to be drinking heavily; around 2003, he was rumored to be working as a security guard in a casino, where he got put on graveyard shift for cursing out a teenager who'd asked for an ironic autograph. Recently he's reinvented himself again, this time as a spoken word artist, playing festivals and hippy bars; he works for an employment agency in his day job.

Why don't I get off my ***?

metzfanaz
02-21-11, 05:18 PM
It's more comfy to be on your backside then off it.

Was Max Headroom the first stutterer on television?

FaithofLeap
02-21-11, 06:17 PM
I believe that King George VI was the first to stutter on TV.

What was the name of the robot in the Forbidden planet?

metzfanaz
02-21-11, 06:20 PM
Wasn't it Google or Robbie or something? Never seen the flick...

Do you think we can ever have a plague like the one in I Am Legend?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-21-11, 06:24 PM
Depends if it's an allegory for something, or a real plague; in either case, I don't know.

Ew! Who ordered swan and pineapple?

metzfanaz
02-21-11, 06:25 PM
Natalie Portman is here....where? OMG Padme Amadala....

What is the latest thing you've found disturbing about insects and how they live?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-21-11, 07:22 PM
They just do things for the sake of doing them.

When Adam delved and Eve span, who was the the gentleman?

metzfanaz
02-21-11, 07:37 PM
Ghengis Khan. Complete with a box full of Twinkies and an aluminum baseball bat.

Do you realize you have been thanked 666 times and what that means?

FaithofLeap
02-21-11, 08:33 PM
A: It means that Metzfanaz made it 667. Whew!


Q: What municipal use does "mixed liquor" have? (hint: has nothing to do with alcohol)

metzfanaz
02-21-11, 08:40 PM
Municipal Waste....a great Thrash band! :D

Do you think Facebook will ever be wise enough to put a Dislike button on there?

FaithofLeap
02-21-11, 08:48 PM
A: No, because everybody wants it to be tagged with the login button :)


Q: Is "vice-versa" to a dyslexic just plain redundant?

metzfanaz
02-21-11, 09:06 PM
Nah, it makes them put it back in original order I guess. My cousin has dyslexia, never really asked him about it, maybe I should.

Is it true what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?

FaithofLeap
02-21-11, 09:10 PM
A: Only when it comes to money.

Q: Where is Old York?

metzfanaz
02-21-11, 09:16 PM
England.

More important, where is Old Jersey?

FaithofLeap
02-21-11, 09:39 PM
A: France.

Q: What is the Utah state bird and why?

metzfanaz
02-21-11, 10:27 PM
Ah ha! That's a trick question! There are no birds in Utah. I got you figured out now....

What's the most expensive car that is still street legal?

FaithofLeap
02-21-11, 11:53 PM
A: Easy. Cars that run off of bullion cubes.


Q: How does one measure the size of a bullion cube engine?

metzfanaz
02-22-11, 12:06 AM
In gigawatts...for example, the Flux Capacitor plus a Delorean run off of 1.21 gigawatts.

What was the secret to life that Betty White had that the other Golden Girls seem to not have?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-22-11, 02:45 AM
She carried cyanide in a hollow tooth.

What happened?

FaithofLeap
02-22-11, 11:23 AM
A: Her dentist died in a freak accident.

Q: ?sdrowkcab yas siht seod tahW

metzfanaz
02-22-11, 01:02 PM
I don't want any tacos but thank you for offering.

Where's the beef?

FaithofLeap
02-22-11, 01:54 PM
A: In the bank vault. Where else?


Q: How do you remove skin tags?

metzfanaz
02-22-11, 03:06 PM
Chainsaw or Flame Thrower, depends on how big it is.

Do you want any jellybeans?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-22-11, 03:51 PM
Never.

How do you do?

tipoo
02-22-11, 03:56 PM
I do like a BOSS.


What it do?

Lunacie
02-22-11, 04:03 PM
It goes "zip" when it moves, "bop" when it stops, and "whirr" when it stands still.


Which way did he go?

tipoo
02-22-11, 04:12 PM
That way! Get him!


Where do lost socks in the laundry go?

FaithofLeap
02-22-11, 04:15 PM
My pant legs. Uuuggg.



What is your favorite color?

julesjampot
02-22-11, 04:15 PM
Third star to the right.

Can you ride tandam?

FaithofLeap
02-22-11, 04:17 PM
Only if Tandam roads are smooth.



Who put the ram In the rama lama ding dong?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-22-11, 04:44 PM
Louis Armstrong.

Why do these days keep happening?

FaithofLeap
02-22-11, 05:46 PM
Because the groundhog is boss.


What does belly button lint sound like?

tipoo
02-22-11, 05:50 PM
A bit lower in tone than toe jam.


How many lights are there!?

FaithofLeap
02-22-11, 05:52 PM
One more than heavys.


Can you smell the color 9?

metzfanaz
02-22-11, 05:53 PM
Depends if she showered or not.

Is it really better to have lived fast and died young just to leave a good looking corpse?

FaithofLeap
02-22-11, 05:56 PM
Just a fast young looking corpse.



Is helium a superfluid?

Lunacie
02-22-11, 07:11 PM
Of course it is. It's got a monogram and a cape and everything.

If you were a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?

julesjampot
02-22-11, 07:13 PM
A peach ,of course


What is your idea of heaven?

metzfanaz
02-22-11, 07:29 PM
Bathing in a giant tub of butterscotch pudding while being surrounded by lovely ladies that continuously dance the robot.

When will be finally run out of silly questions?

julesjampot
02-22-11, 07:34 PM
NEVER EVER ,but you certaintainly made me laugH, Metz

What would make life complete?

Lunacie
02-22-11, 07:53 PM
... fries and a soda.


Can I get that to go?

FaithofLeap
02-22-11, 09:26 PM
Only if you share your fries.


What ever happened to ALF?

metzfanaz
02-22-11, 11:59 PM
Fed to the lions, he thought there were dinner and was more then happy to go in. Alas, he was turned into ALF = Another Lion Feast.

What do we have here?

anonymouslyadd
02-23-11, 12:06 AM
Jigga what.

How am I supposed to get a z on my exam?

metzfanaz
02-23-11, 12:41 AM
Write it down as your name.

Can I borrow $20 for a new t-shirt?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-23-11, 01:22 AM
How do I know you won't spend it on a tie?

Is money worth it?

metzfanaz
02-23-11, 01:28 AM
Is it worth a tie, hells yeah!

What's the worst thing that can happen with a nice tie?

shysmile
02-23-11, 01:30 AM
Spongebob squarepants could break into your house, steal it, and eat it, and do that laugh... "dhahahahahaahahahahauh" and run away, digesting your tie. :p


What really happened to all the dinosaurs?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-23-11, 02:11 AM
There's two dozen of each kind inside a diamond-walled biosphere, puttering around inside the earth's mantle. When every person in Europe belongs to a single religion, they will emerge. We had a close shave in the middle ages.

How do I get away with knowing so little science?

metzfanaz
02-23-11, 02:26 AM
Easily, it's all BS and smoke and mirrors. Or your really a scientist...and in that case...

Magnets, how do they work?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-23-11, 02:59 AM
We put grubs inside them.


What will we look like when the sun starts to go out?

metzfanaz
02-23-11, 03:29 AM
Carrot Top, pale with red afros and insane muscle mass

Why did I forget to eat my yogurt yet again tonight?

FaithofLeap
02-23-11, 12:41 PM
Because you have ADD. (Anti Dairy Diet)



What are pomegranates made of?

shysmile
02-23-11, 01:37 PM
An inside-out red corn-on-the-cob.



How many fingers am I holding up? :p

metzfanaz
02-23-11, 03:15 PM
17

End the debate, Ninjas or Pirates....who has the best fashion sense?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-23-11, 03:35 PM
Tough call. Pirates are so '90s, ninjas so '80s. I suppose pirates, if only because you can see their faces.


Get what, when you get the blues?

metzfanaz
02-23-11, 07:28 PM
Rhythm.

Do people still use the rhythm method for birth control?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-23-11, 08:51 PM
Sure. The Vatican even tried to buy the rights to use the Johnny Cash song.

Who wears short shorts again?

FaithofLeap
02-23-11, 10:06 PM
People with long legs.


Where am I?

LaVieEnRose
02-24-11, 11:46 AM
I'll let Confucius take that one, "No matter where you go, there you are." Words of wisdom.

Why, after 27 years of life, and at least 23 years of practice, can I not flick my cheek and get the water drop sound?

tipoo
02-24-11, 12:04 PM
Why, after 27 years of life, and at least 23 years of practice, can I not flick my cheek and get the water drop sound?

The force is not strong with you.


Its 12PM and I have not yet found a reason to put on pants, am I lame or awesome?

metzfanaz
02-24-11, 01:06 PM
Awesome! If I could go pants less I would do the same thing but I don't want to frighten the people I work with.

Why do good times go faster then bad times?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-24-11, 03:47 PM
Having a Dr Johnson avatar, I feel it my duty to write, that "we go from want to want, not from happiness to happiness."

Did I answer that question, merely restate it, or neither?

FaithofLeap
02-24-11, 03:49 PM
No, just confused me?


Whats new about that?

shysmile
02-24-11, 03:52 PM
Nothing is new, except for the new stuff over in that box. ---> http://sewelldirect.com/siteimages/layout/boxIcon.jpg



What's inside the box?

FaithofLeap
02-24-11, 03:58 PM
You found my baseball!!!


Where was my baseball?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-24-11, 04:55 PM
It was by the thing, in the other room.

Am I deluding myself?

FaithofLeap
02-24-11, 05:28 PM
Only if I kenw what deluding was.


Who is the they they all talk about when they say they say?

tipoo
02-24-11, 05:30 PM
They, them, everyone. Like in that coffee crisp commercial.


How do we know we all perceive colours the same way? If I saw orange where you saw green, I'd still call my orange green, so how would we know without testing everyone?

StoatHunter
02-24-11, 08:27 PM
Good question! Who's going to Lobsterfest?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-24-11, 08:57 PM
Not I.
Why are king crabs so much money? Would they be cheaper if we deposed them?

( I googled "delude" and got this:

1. (Psychology) to deceive the mind or judgment of; mislead; beguile

from Latin dēlūdere to mock, play false, from de- + lūdere to play )

FaithofLeap
02-24-11, 09:50 PM
They have a high capital gains tax.


Who coined the phrase "coined a phrase"?

StoatHunter
02-24-11, 09:53 PM
I forget his name. He's a muslim now. What would you do if you got to meet Paula Deen?

FaithofLeap
02-24-11, 10:26 PM
I would ask her to stop saying "y'all" all the time.

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

StoatHunter
02-24-11, 10:48 PM
I'm not sure. All I know about birds is the worth of a bird in the hand. Why will metzfanaz suffer from tinnitus this weekend?

StoatHunter
02-24-11, 11:10 PM
So how are things with you? How's work? How's school? How're the kids. How's your wife?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-25-11, 12:16 AM
Fine; I don't have any; it's over; can't afford them; not married.

How's your rash?

StoatHunter
02-25-11, 12:51 AM
Raised bumps, soft and supple, withstanding. I painted over it. It's white now. Who does Jake Gyllenhaal get along with?

Nifferka
02-25-11, 12:54 AM
I don't know--who's Jake Gyllenhaal? (I don't feel like being friends with google right now.)

FaithofLeap
02-25-11, 12:57 AM
A gooofy actor.


Have you ever seen an elephant hide in a tree?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-25-11, 12:59 AM
Gorbachev. They're like peas in a pod; they go carp fishing, read nonsense verse to each other and roar with laughter.


Forwarding: "Have you ever seen an elephant hide in a tree?"

StoatHunter
02-25-11, 01:02 AM
A gooofy actor.


Have you ever seen an elephant hide in a tree?

Once a fortnight. I'll take you there. Bring some Dramamine. Who is a man that needs no introduction?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-25-11, 01:57 AM
Whoever he is He's with Paul Newman, in the grave.

What's the use?

StoatHunter
02-25-11, 02:24 AM
Torque multiplication and division. It helps with acceleration, fuel economy, engine RPM's and noise and wear and tear, etc. What is the issue at hand?

StoatHunter
02-25-11, 03:02 AM
How does the brain work?

metzfanaz
02-25-11, 05:54 PM
At a slow and steady pace.

Why do we tend to mispell easy words?

tipoo
02-25-11, 05:56 PM
Why do we tend to mispell easy words?


Maybe have just one of you type at a time?


What is the purpose of grass?

shysmile
02-25-11, 05:57 PM
So the dirt isn't bald. :p


Why are bubbles round?

metzfanaz
02-25-11, 05:58 PM
Aerodynamics

Can you sing the Woody Woodpecker theme song?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-25-11, 05:59 PM
It looks noble, and provides a free lawn-mower alarm clock on weekend mornings.

Forward: Why are bubbles round?

julesjampot
02-25-11, 06:43 PM
No Tommy weve moved on its doodla da da doodala dada its the woody woodpecker song

Why is the moon round?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-25-11, 06:57 PM
(I wondered what was so aerodynamic about grass.)

It reflects the roundness of the sun.

Is it wierd that I take the sun for granted?

metzfanaz
02-25-11, 07:36 PM
Yes, while all of us are out praying to the sun your taking it for granted. Let's see what the sun does for you when judgement day comes.

Why is it that I crave a challenge at work but get resistance from everybody?

LaVieEnRose
02-26-11, 12:14 AM
Have you seen Office Space, Metz? They're confused and perplexed that you actually want to do something, seeing as how their goal is do to as little as possible. I'll put out feelers for a hyno-therapist that might be able to help you change your outlook.

Why do ghosts always have that freaky facial expression like something bad is going to happen? It's like, Dude! You're already dead. Chillax! Am I right or am I right?

metzfanaz
02-26-11, 12:18 AM
Nope, they're making those facial expressions because they figure nobody is really going to see them so just try and look as goofy as possible. :p

If Gandhi was in a metal band, what instrument would he have played?

FaithofLeap
02-26-11, 12:20 AM
Jaw Harp.



Wheres Waldo (Wally)?

metzfanaz
02-26-11, 12:38 AM
Prison serving 10 yrs for forgery.

Do you think Waldo had any siblings that like to just stay in one place?

FaithofLeap
02-26-11, 12:49 AM
Yes but they move around too much to be seen.



If you turn on your headlights while traveling the speed of light, will it hurt?

metzfanaz
02-26-11, 12:57 AM
Like the song says, Everybody Hurts.....sometimes....

Why are they called Buffalo Wings when buffalos don't have wings?

FaithofLeap
02-26-11, 01:05 AM
Because that part of New York can't fly anyways.


What is the hottest pepper in the world?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-26-11, 02:03 AM
In 2007, Guinness World Records (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guinness_World_Records) certified the Bhut Jolokia as the world's hottest chili pepper, 401.5 times hotter than Tabasco sauce (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabasco_sauce).<sup id="cite_ref-9" class="reference">[10] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naga_Jolokia_pepper#cite_note-9)</sup> On December 3, 2010, the Bhut Jolokia was replaced as the hottest known chili pepper by the Naga Viper (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naga_Viper), which has an average peak Scoville rating more than 300,000 points higher than an average Bhut Jolokia - but still not higher than the hottest ever recorded Dorset Naga (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naga_Jolokia_pepper#Dorset_Naga).<sup id="cite_ref-yahoo_10-0" class="reference">[11] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naga_Jolokia_pepper#cite_note-yahoo-10)</sup> In February 2011, Guinness World Records awarded the title of "World's Hottest Chilli" to the Infinity chilli (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinity_chilli) grown in Grantham (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grantham), England.<sup id="cite_ref-11" class="reference">[12] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naga_Jolokia_pepper#cite_note-11)</sup> This chilli rates at 1,067,286 units on the Scoville scale.<sup id="cite_ref-12" class="reference">[13] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naga_Jolokia_pepper#cite_note-12)</sup> Currently these figures are highly controversial among the pepper growing community and tests with more rigorous scientific standards are yet to be conducted on the many various peppers vying for "world's hottest" status.


Can you get a short answer from that? I can't.

Lunacie
02-26-11, 09:47 AM
Yes, I can. "It hasn't been discovered yet."

Have you ever eaten hot pepper ice cream?

metzfanaz
02-26-11, 09:51 AM
Yes actually, Bhut Jolokia. The rest is as Michael Jackon would say "Filler, filler night..."

What celebrity is next on the death bandwagon?

shysmile
02-26-11, 03:45 PM
The pillsbury doughboy.


If you tell a salesman that their product sucks, is it still an insult if they're selling vacuums? :p

FaithofLeap
02-26-11, 03:51 PM
I guess that it is a matter of perspective. If you are on the floor it sucks. If you are in the vacuum bag, i guess that it would blow.:)


What time is it?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-26-11, 04:14 PM
12:13


What the devil have you to do with the time of day?

StoatHunter
02-26-11, 06:30 PM
What the devil have you to do with the time of day?

Nothing, but I just saved a bunch on my car insurance by switching to GEICO. Love all your retro avatars, BTW. Who does Jake Gyllenhaal hold in high esteem?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-26-11, 06:46 PM
Bismarck.

Where are the snows of yesteryear?

StoatHunter
02-26-11, 07:09 PM
Don't even go there! http://www.stangnet.com/mustang-forums/images/smilies/nono.gif Why do old men give Werthers Original to young boys?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-26-11, 07:43 PM
They don't understand that it represents evil.

Are those things named after The Sorrows of Young Werther?

StoatHunter
02-26-11, 07:52 PM
Beats me. Like I'm talkin' a right throwdown *** kickin'. Multiple broken bones, bloody face, two black eyes, bruises all down my back, ears severed, fingernails ripped off, pinched nerves, exorcised demons, diet & exercise, vitamin D deficiency, fish oil, non-comedogenic lotion, smooth and supple skin, etc. Is it okay to become a tyrant?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-26-11, 08:21 PM
Only in an aristocracy -and usually not even then.

Is it bad luck to look forward?

StoatHunter
02-26-11, 08:25 PM
No, it's modern. What is a gross overstatement?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-26-11, 08:50 PM
Damned if I know.

Are there wealthy families who, generation after generation, keep secret farms where they hope to slowly evolve their own new animals?

StoatHunter
02-26-11, 08:52 PM
Only twelve are known. What is a "speakeasy"?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-26-11, 08:55 PM
It's a kind of nightclub that slides open a panel and looks out at things. Sort of like an armadillo.

Pollen: a good idea?

StoatHunter
02-26-11, 09:10 PM
A GREAT idea! What can be done for a sluggish metabolism?

StoatHunter
02-26-11, 10:00 PM
Why stuff your face?

LaVieEnRose
02-28-11, 02:47 PM
What can be done for a sluggish metabolism?Eating lots of simple carbs, and never exercising.

What does silence sound like?

tipoo
02-28-11, 02:49 PM
What does silence sound like?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvsX03LOMhI




Why am I me?

LaVieEnRose
02-28-11, 04:16 PM
Your parents made whoopee and got tipoo.

What's cookin', good lookin'?

Tommy Wilhelm
02-28-11, 05:48 PM
Grilled cheese sandwiches. That's right, I said it!

Did philosophers ever find out if a hole is a thing?

LaVieEnRose
02-28-11, 06:09 PM
It's a definite possibility that they may have found out.

Cute bum, where ya from? ;) tss (I'm on a roll)

Tommy Wilhelm
02-28-11, 06:19 PM
Everyone with a cute bum is from Minnesota. Their license plates say so: "The cute-bum-from state"

What's a thing?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-01-11, 02:19 AM
No reason.

Why'd we start using forks?

meadd823
03-01-11, 04:04 AM
Because it was easier to stab things with than a spoon but was less dangerous than a sharp knife???

Is there a genesis world book record for the largest number of user names made up by a single person for a single forum?

Bluerose
03-01-11, 07:32 AM
No but there should be and I think we have him.

Does doing really dumb things, like signing up to lots of different accounts on forums, show how empty your life really is?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-01-11, 03:00 PM
Not in itself.

Does anger corrupt humour?

metzfanaz
03-01-11, 03:22 PM
Nope but it does corrupt people. Like Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan, or is that drugs? I dunno...

What's the best thing about March?

shortyboy205
03-01-11, 03:33 PM
Why can't I think of something to write except from this??

Tommy Wilhelm
03-01-11, 03:35 PM
You need stimulants and quality lit.

Why do I rush to instruct before I've learned?

tipoo
03-01-11, 04:32 PM
More fun lecturing people than being lectured.


Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-01-11, 04:54 PM
No. They're not conscious.

What do bugs think? Do they think?

tipoo
03-01-11, 04:56 PM
They are just looking for the next window or lamp to fly into.


If a machine destroyed your atomic structure then mimicked it absolutely perfectly at a different location, would you still be you?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-01-11, 05:32 PM
Absolutely not. The replica would be me, but what would I care about that once I'd ceased to exist? You'd never get me anywhere near a teleportation device!

What do you think?

tipoo
03-01-11, 05:39 PM
I think many things. Pertaining to the teleporter, I'm not sure. What makes you *you* is the question. Is it electrochemical neurological impulses? If so, if those impulses were replicated perfectly but the original form destroyed, would you not still be you? Would it matter if the same atoms were used or not? Atoms are not you, the atoms in your body are replaced constantly.

metzfanaz
03-01-11, 05:53 PM
The letters Y, O, and U, that's what makes you you.

Do I come off as too much of a smarta** in these threads?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-01-11, 06:38 PM
No!

But, going back, how could I survive the destruction of my body?

(WHoah! Philosophy head rush! I'd almost forgot what they feel like! I typed and got thinking, 'but am I constantly surviving the destruction of my body?')

tipoo
03-01-11, 06:45 PM
(WHoah! Philosophy head rush! I'd almost forgot what they feel like! I typed and got thinking, 'but am I constantly surviving the destruction of my body?')

Exactly my point! The cells of our body are constantly dying off to be replaced by new ones, we are always destroying and rebuilding ourselves. So what would be different about doing it in one jolt vs over a few weeks? If a continuum is our primary concern, what about people who are legally dead for minutes before being revived? Are they not themselves?

(do you study or did you study philosophy by any chance?)

Tommy Wilhelm
03-01-11, 07:05 PM
Yes, I did a little bit. I started to focus on it in college, then found it completely different when I moved to studying it in university; so I switched to English. I've probably done about the equivalent of first year.

How about you?

tipoo
03-01-11, 07:09 PM
How about you?

I'm a Computer Science major, but I took first and second year philosophy courses as electives.


Next person: Do you go into frequent brain-melts with questions like the teleporter like I just did?

metzfanaz
03-01-11, 07:26 PM
Means you have a good job but not a great one. Alright = 5,Good = 6, Great = 7, Exceptional = 8+

Where were you on the morning of June 26th, 2009?

Lunacie
03-01-11, 07:35 PM
Where were you on the morning of June 26th, 2009?


I was trying to herd cats.

Will the horribly tinkly tunes from the ice cream truck finally drive me totally insane this week?

Lunacie
03-01-11, 08:23 PM
What's it like to hit a home run?

It's a head rush. Or so I've been told.

Did anyone actually click on the link to listen to Tiny Bubbles?

toothpick
03-02-11, 07:05 AM
I'm sure alot of people have clicked said link but i dont think i have.

why is smoking legal?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-02-11, 12:43 PM
Because it doesn't endanger the public.

Why do we put up with beaches closing at night? Whose beaches are they, anyway?

metzfanaz
03-02-11, 03:12 PM
Why, I have no idea. I'd rather be on the beach at night, a lot less likely to get a sunburn. As for the other question I'll have to check with my magic 8 ball for the answer.

Why do people giggle everytime they hear wendsday is hump day?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-02-11, 03:37 PM
They don't understand our ancient customs.

Who's the best writer?

metzfanaz
03-02-11, 03:41 PM
Snookie, she made it to #1 with her first book which means the girl has talent with the pen and paper.

Is the Young Frankenstein rendition of "Putting On The Ritz" the greatest song ever to appear in a major motion picture?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-02-11, 04:49 PM
The odds are against it.

What happened to the odds?

FaithofLeap
03-02-11, 04:53 PM
They got played.


What is John known for?

metzfanaz
03-02-11, 07:28 PM
The bathroom, everybody knows that! It was named after Richard Lewis' character in Robin Hood:Men In Tights

Of all the 64 colors in a crayon box, which has the least importance?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-02-11, 08:11 PM
Forest Green! I spit on it!

Hey --aren't we trying to be smartasses on this thread?

tipoo
03-02-11, 08:17 PM
Yes and mostly failing.

i am 12 and wat is this?

metzfanaz
03-04-11, 03:36 PM
Caught In A Mosh......

what was the real meaning behind the song Blue?

Tommy Wilhelm
03-04-11, 04:30 PM
By who?

Lunacie
03-04-11, 04:33 PM
what was the real meaning behind the song Blue?

it's about being a walrus

Does the rain make you sad?

FaithofLeap
03-04-11, 06:03 PM
Only on Sun Days.

Where is the moon?

tipoo
03-04-11, 06:07 PM
It does not exist until you show your bum to someone in public, I believe.


Why?

FaithofLeap
03-04-11, 06:17 PM
It has a mole I like to show off.


Do butterflies like butter?

metzfanaz
03-04-11, 07:29 PM
Butterflies are 50% butter, the other half consists of paper mache and pipe cleaners.

Where did the rum go?